A/N: I'm honestly not sure what to say about this. This is the first time I've written something without having any idea what I was writing about or where I was going with it. You see, usually I come up with the end of my stories first or the central theme and work from there. This one didn't happen like that.

As a result, this is the first thing I've ever written that when I read back over it, I just went: "Okaaaay, the fuck is this?"

…Yeah. Honestly, I think it's terrible, but… I like it. Does that make sense? It's some of the iffiest writing I've ever done but it was such a blast to write, mostly because I've never done anything like it before. Not in the idea, how I wrote it, what I think about it, the tone, or anything. It's totally new, and so I enjoyed it.

So, I figured I'd post it. Hopefully at least one person will like it even if everyone else flames me to hell and back. Plus, there just isn't enough Zemyx in the world. Especially not good Zemyx. Don't get me wrong, this ship has some of the most talented writers I've ever seen but that's a lot of total shit to. Now, I don't think this is all that good but it's definitely better then a lot of the stuff I've seen posted recently. I mean, some of that crap makes my very soul writhe in pain.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this.

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, it wouldn't be a video game at all. Instead it'd be a shounen ai/yaoi billion-hour movie with graphics a la Advent Children. Obviously it's not and so those porno cut scenes only occur in my day dreams.

"You know what?"

"Wha-"

"That's it! No more! I'm just going to dump the bitch and get myself a nice boyfriend!"

"Dem-"

"I mean, God must have made me bisexual for a reason, right!? It's so I can get out of abusive relationships with girls and find a nice seme type to fuck me into the mattress!"

"Demyx, I don't mean to disturb your ranting but isn't that a contradictory statement?"

"…What is?"

"God making you bisexual."

"Well yeah, but… Whatever, Zexy! What does it matter? The point is I need to go be a submissive uke!"

Zexion rubbed his temples watching the failing arms of his friend with some amount of amusement—though he'd never admit that, of course. A small smirk quirked at the edges of his lips and he muttered, "But aren't you already?"

The sitarist bristled, looking somewhere between confused and annoyed, "What's that suppose to mean? I'm dating a girl, remember?"

Zexion sighed. "Demyx, you're dating Larxene. You are a submissive uke. And a masochists I presume." His eyes turned contemplative. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. I enjoy a bit of pain during sexual activities myself. However, I'm afraid the degree you must push it to considering your partner is… shall we say… unhealthy. Both physically and mentally."

"Ooh, Zexy! How can you say dirty things like that as if you're talking about a math problem?"

A light shrug, "I've always been interested in psychology. The matter of sexual interactions between humans, especially 'fetishes' and the like, are particularly fascinating."

Demyx let a burst of air rush out between his parted lips and his shoulders slumped. Suddenly tired in that comforted, warm, sleepy way, he plopped down beside the older male and buried his head into his shoulder. "You're weird." he murmured.

The smirk melted into a smile and slender fingers wove gently into blonde hair as his arm wrapped around his shoulders.

"I mean like, really weird."

Zexion's other hand tucked itself around the musician's knee, lifting slightly to bring his leg up to rest gently on his own. "I know."

"Like really, really weird."

"And you are not, Demyx?"

"Hm, I suppose I am." He snuggled into the warmth next to him before pausing for a moment. "Zexy?"

"Yes?"

"Why aren't we together?"

It was such a simple question really, and so bluntly put, with no hesitation and no real thought behind it. Perhaps this was because, neither of them had ever thought about it before. This position was a familiar one to them, as was the dialogue, teasing each other ever so gently.

On the surface, they were complete opposites. Zexion the usually quiet, intelligent scholar of the group. A manipulator, or mind-fucker as Axel so eloquently stated it, he was a puppet master who used living, breathing people as his marionettes, pulling strings only he knew were there. And then there was Demyx. Demyx the kind-hearted, cheerful musician who couldn't manipulate a gold fish. Not because he wasn't smart, for he was in his own way, but only because it would never occur to him to do so.

Complete opposites, but of course that was only the surface. Zexion's patient nature allowed him to put up with well-meant antics that many wouldn't, while Demyx's enrapture with life in general made him eager to learn so that he listened intently when the scientist got into one of his not-quite-a-lecture on whatever he was reading or passionate about at the time.

They were comfortable with each other and they complimented each other. They fascinated one another and yet provided a rock for the other as well. Despite all this the idea of a romantic relationship between them had never occurred to either. And yet the question, which had come out of nowhere, was filled with honest confusion. And it immediately seemed to both of them a valid question. Why weren't they together? Certainly they should be.

The realization didn't seem like one at all and neither thought anything of it.

"Well," Zexion answered thoughtfully, "You are dating Larxene."

"Good point. I can't believe I let her talk me into that."

"Did she really?" A slate-colored eyebrow arched unbelievingly, "Why in the world would she want to talk you into dating her?"

Demyx chuckled at bit, "Well, actually it was more like threatened me into it. I think she wanted to make Marluxia jealous. He's been being all-pedophilic again lately and hitting on Namine. The jealousy thing didn't work, as you know. She needn't worry about it though, pedophile or not, he does like her if not love her. And he is a masochist so they fit."

Zexion nodded a bit at this. "You don't really need to officially break up then, since it wasn't really a relationship in the first place."

"Hm, I suppose you're right as usual."

Dark eyes flickered over him lightly. "Are you still interested in that last part though, Demyx dear?"

Demyx stared in slight confusion as he was suddenly lowered onto his back, the face of the older male hovering just over his. "What last part, Zexy?"

Zexion's warm breath slid between the blonde's parted lips as he gently settled his body onto the one below him. "The part about finding a nice seme to fuck you into the mattress."

He slipped his arms around the scientist's shoulders soundlessly pressing them even closer. The scene, the mood, the atmosphere, had shifted from one of peace and comfort and warmth to one of passion and heat and fire so very quickly. And yet it seemed there hadn't been a change at all. A soft smile curved his lips gently and dropped his eye lids even as warmth pooled in his abdomen and his fingers moved towards the hem of his soon to be lover's shirt. "We're not on a mattress."

A soft growl, "Answer the question, Demyx."

A shuttering gasp as marks of love that would last were made. "Yes… I think I just might be."

---------------------------------------

Just out of sight of roving hands and ragged breaths was the sadistic bitch herself. She crouched there watching her 'boyfriend' writhe through a cold lens. When final cries of release rang into the air she quietly got up and left the room.

Leaning against the wall just outside she tilted her head back, eyes closed.

And grinned like crazy.

If anything would bring Marluxia back to her it would be bribery via the hot, steamy, real-life porno tape in her hands. Hell, yes.

A/N: So…. yeah. Huge shifts in tone there. But that was kind of the point. It's humor but in a different way then most people are used to seeing as it's very serious as well. Like I said above, I like it and I had a blast writing it. At the same time, I'm expecting a negative response. I think it's a little to off the beaten path, the structure a little to different, to appeal to many.

As for the pairings… I support Zemyx and Marluxia/Larxene. I do not in any way support Larxene/Demyx or Namine/Marluxia. They were plot devices and that's it. I see nothing particularly wrong with the pairings, but you'll probably never see even a hinting about either of them from me ever again.

I've been experimenting with my writing a lot lately. I'm determined to do one of everything at the very least. Flex my mental muscles as a writer you might say. In the last one I concentrated on letting the voice of the character who's point of view the story was in, shine through even the prose and showing different characterizations through the way the characters talk. In this one… Well, it was so spur of the moment I wasn't thinking about anything. The entire thing is experimental really, since I've never done anything like this before.

So, reviews are even more appreciated then usual. And trust me they're usually pretty damn appreciated. I my favorite kind of reviews are the really long ones that tell exactly what the reader did or did not like about the story because that is what helps me improve. However, if you're lazy, just a 'Good' would be nice to. I don't mind getting bad reviews at all, so feel free to leave one. But if you didn't like it please tell me why. I can't fix it if I can't pinpoint what's wrong.

Review! Hope you enjoyed it.