Your Own Worth
By: Phoenix Dayze
(Cloud/Sephiroth)
PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, nor its characters.

The water licked up around his bare ankles, bringing a sense of chilling peace in its wake. Cloud sighed, his eyes closed, his head tilted back against the sea wind. It was cool, comforting, everything that a sunset-bathed breeze should be. The fading light gave Cloud's face a pinkish hue and he couldn't repress the smile that crept up onto his lips. It was so quiet. A void of all the stresses that had become such an integral part of his life. For once he didn't mind being alone.

Except that he wasn't. Unbeknownst to Cloud, a silver-haired siren watched with an unfaltering solemnity.

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Cloaked in the evening colors and free in his supposed solitude, Cloud was beautiful, radiant of silent grace and vibrant courage. Sephiroth found his breath heavy in his chest. Cloud was so much more than he was, the type of man he wished he could have been. True-hearted, honest, filled with all the bright virtues of youth and the convictions of a hero. It was almost too much to take in. But he forced himself to look. He owed the young man. Cloud deserved to really be seen. His strength was obvious. He was slender, wiry, but his arms were lined with corded muscles and his shoulders were broad and well set. Add into the equation his strength of character and Cloud became an undeniable force, a more than worthy opponent.

Sephiroth swallowed, an exceedingly human reaction for him, as his Mako-green eyes roamed up over Cloud's form. The boy's pants were rolled up to the knee, baring a large portion of pale, shapely calves, which were flecked with sea foam. He let his gaze travel over his narrow hips, his gracefully sloping torso, his long, slender neck. Physically, Cloud was perfect. He was everything a SOLDIER should be. Everything it needed. And so much more.

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Cloud inhaled the sea air appreciatively. It was calming, healing. Here in this moment, he wanted to feel it all. Pain, regret, hate, sorrow, anger,… everything. But somehow, it had all been washed away. He was empty, a vessel for the water, the air to use as they saw fit. He reveled in the sensation. He wanted more. He stretched his hands up to the sky, reaching for the infinite. Then, he lowered his hands to his chest and slowly drew down the zipper on his vest. As it fell open, the air his skin with a pleasant rush. He pulled it the rest of the way from his body and turned to fling it back onto the beach. When he did, his large blue eyes locked with the green cat eyes of his general. He froze, staring dumbly at him as his shirt fell at his black-booted feet. He wasn't sure what diplomacy called for in this sort of situation. He turned fully and straightened, pulling his shoulders back. "Forgive me, Sir," he said lowly, "I'm not properly attired."

Sephiroth waved a hand, dismissing it. "It is I who should ask for forgiveness. I am intruding upon your solitude."

Cloud shook his head, more than a little self-conscious. His current state of undress was a… problem. "Not at all, General. How may I be of service?"

Sephiroth stepped forward slowly, a slight smirk on his face. Then he unhooked his coat and let it fall to the ground. The wind caught in his gray silk shirt, blowing it against his chest.

Cloud averted his eyes. "Is there something you wish from me, General, or shall I retrieve my clothes?"

Black leather gloves fell down against the coat and another pair of boots were abandoned. "No, Cloud." Sephiroth said quietly. "You may go if that is what you wish. But should you care to join me, I would appreciate your company."

Cloud wasn't sure if he should stay or go. What did the General want from him? The SOLDIER in him told him to leave, to let the general alone with his thoughts. But the man in him… that was a different story. More than anything he wanted to matter in Sephiroth's eyes. To be worthy of his position in SOLDIER. To bring honor to his company. But standing here, barefoot and bare-chested, that didn't seem likely. "I'll stay if you desire my presence."

Sephiroth didn't answer. He just waded out to stand beside Cloud. "It's very peaceful." He admired. "I can see why you come here." He stared out at the horizon. The pink was gone and the sky had darkened to a rich, smoky blue. "Odd to feel so relaxed. I feel that I could be myself here."

Another side to Sephiroth. Cloud had always suspected that there was a part of him that wasn't all cold-blooded killer, but right now, he seemed… almost human. Real. Accessible. He crossed his arms over his chest and breathed. "It is a beautiful night. I love to watch the sky change. It seems so set, but yet it's constantly shifting. And no matter what it looks like, it's always beautiful. It gives me a profound feeling of hope."

Sephiroth was shocked. He hadn't expected Cloud to be so free with him. Not this quickly. It was… nice. "I'd have to agree with you. It's also a very good metaphor. I've often hoped that my men would see me that way."

"Your men love you." Cloud said without thinking. "We would die for you, if you asked."

"I wouldn't let you, Cloud." It was a simple statement, but true. "Your calling is much higher than a simple death on my account."

Cloud turned to look at him, shock in his eyes. "General, your life… you're worth so much more than me."

Sephiroth placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "Don't ever think that, Cloud. A good SOLDIER knows his own worth. You happen to be invaluable."

Cloud was silent. Invaluable? To who? SOLDIER could manage just fine without him. But he was finding it hard to think. The heat from Sephiroth's hand was disconcerting. One would think it would have been cold, but no… Sephiroth was… alive, real flesh and blood, a being capable of lust and carnal pleasure. Cloud licked his lips. Disconcerting magnified to exceedingly uncomfortable. The general's hand on his bare skin was heating to an unbearable temperature. He moved his shoulders subconsciously.

Sephiroth let his hand fall away with a wisp of a sigh. "Cloud, I have a confession to make." He looked down at the younger man. "What would you say if I told you that I'd resigned from my place in SOLDIER?"
"What?" Cloud whipped his head around. "Sephiroth, why would you do that?"

The sound of his name on Cloud's tongue was refreshing. Not 'General'. Not 'my lord'. Sephiroth. "For that reason precisely. I could never come to you as a general. You would never accept me for propriety's sake."

Cloud wet his lips again. "Accept you how?"

"As a man, Cloud." He gave him a small smile. "I am a man you know."

"Yes, my lord." Cloud's voice was slightly hoarse.

'No, Cloud." Sephiroth grasped the young man's arm. "No more 'my lord's. No more 'general's. I am no more now than another of your comrades. A simple SOLDIER. Nothing special."

Cloud pondered this, then placed a tentative hand on the taller man's arm. "Sephiroth, a good SOLDIER knows his own worth."

Sephiroth peered down at him, mild shock on his features. "I'm proud of you, Cloud. Honestly, I thought it would take you longer to warm up to my new status."

'I think you should do what you feel is right for you." Cloud explained. "But I think that SOLDIER will suffer a grave loss without you as our leader." His voice was low. "I'll be lost without you."

Sephiroth raised a hand and gently caressed Cloud's cheek. "You don't have to be." He whispered.

Cloud leaned into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed. "Sephiroth, I…"

'Shh." Sephiroth brought his other hand up to cradle Cloud's face. "Tell me, Cloud, if this is what you want."

"Yes." Cloud breathed. "Yes."

The water sloshed around their feet as they moved closer together, the final throes of daylight nesting in their hair. Their lips met with a silent rush of sensation, a quiet acceptance of all the other man was. It was equal to the need, the want they felt, and nothing more. Unobtrusive in its intensity.

And then Sephiroth gave Cloud the control.

The End.