Author:DreamBrother

Summary:(Summer Alphabet Challenge 2007) [Pre-series, Don 12, Chuck 7 Charlie didn't suddenly develop Horrible Spelling Syndrome in his thirties. It had to have started sometime earlier...

Disclaimer:Numb3rs isn't mine. Spelling tests are a torture for everyone, regardless of race, colour, creed, sex, and language and so on and so forth. Don't even get me started on the spelling bees.

Author's Note:Don't panic people; I know the right spelling of Cat. And I've even managed to conquer the confusion over the I/E business by remembering the rhyme "I before E, except after C." At least in most cases. And cuckoo muse? Welcome back.

Don bounded up the porch steps as he came back from having spent the afternoon at his friend Simon's house. Normally, his after school duty of walking his 3rd grade brother home to prevent any bully intervention in the shape of Sam Titchell meant that he couldn't go to his friend's place directly from school but today was an exception: His mother had picked up Charlie and he, Don, had gone for lunch with his group of friends.

Entering the house, he spotted his little brother crouched over a notebook in the living room. He was just about to ask Charlie where their mother was when the unasked question was answered for him in the shape of his mother coming through the swinging doorway that led to the kitchen and garage.

"Hi honey. How was your day?" asked Margaret Eppes as she spotted her firstborn standing in the foyer.

"It was good," said Don succinctly.

"That's nice," smiled Margaret. "Sweetie, can you do me a favour? I'm making a special dinner for tonight and I'm going to be all tied up in the kitchen. Can you help Charlie with his spellings? He has a test tomorrow."

Don looked over at the tousled head bent over the notebook and his sharp eyes picked up that there seemed to be a whole lot more alphabets on the pages than usual, and a lot less numbers. It was also one of those rare few days when he wasn't loaded down with his own homework and gave him a hint of doubt that perhaps, underneath it all, his teachers really weren't sadists. And since his mom asked so nicely…

"Sure mom, I'll help Chuck," and with a last smile towards his mom, he went to where his brother was sitting, putting his own schoolbag near the wooden post next to the sofa. Stopping briefly to rustle his brother's hair, he commanded:

"Atten-hut!"

Charlie lifted his head slowly, brow furrowed in puzzlement. Who in the world was shouting drill commands in his house?

"Donnie!" he said in greeting upon seeing his brother.

"Chuckie!" replied Don in turn, and stretching out his hand he said, "Mom tells me you have a spelling test tomorrow. Hand your book over, let's get cracking."

Charlie obediently handed over the notebook that contained all the words he was expected to know for tomorrow, and crossing his arms on the table and putting his chin on them, he peered up expectantly at his brother, who lounged comfortably on the sofa in front of him.

"Okie dokie. What is the spelling of… president?"

"P R E S I D E N T" replied Charlie.

"Right. Chef?"

"C H E F"

"Redemption?"

"R E D E M P T I O N"

Don fired word after word at his brother, who quietly spelled them out. Any words that were spelled incorrectly received a small, almost indistinguishable, black pencil mark next to them on the book. After Charlie got 3 particularly difficult words right in a row, Don decided to have pity on his brother. Either that, or he wanted to throw his little brother off his rhythm.

"Ok. Spell 'Cat',"

"K A T"

Don jerked his head up in surprise, pausing for a moment before asking, "Sorry Charlie, didn't hear you that well. Repeat?"

"Sure Donnie. K A T. Cat"

"Say it again," said Don, frowning slightly.

Charlie gave his brother an odd look, wondering why his 5yr older brother had sudden turned deaf, in addition to him asking such a simple spelling. Charlie wasn't a baby; he was in the 3rd grade, after all.

"K A T. Cat!" said Charlie, saying each letter loudly and carefully, enunciating before he even knew what that word meant.

"Ok. Let's try another way. You know how you learnt your alphabet, from those books with 'A is for Apple, B is for Bat' and all?" Don continued after a nod of confirmation from Charlie, "How about we go through it again, ok? So, A is for….?"

"Alpha," replied Charlie.

"Erm… ok." Weirdo, "B is for…?"

"Beta," That's it. Charlie has had enough teaching from math tutors, he really needs to get out more. "No fanciness, Charlie. Just go for the regular, easy words. You know apple, bat, hat, etc."

"But I did say the easy words! Never mind," mumbled Charlie.

"Ok. C is for…?" prompted Don, expectantly.

"Charlie," said Charlie, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

"Wow, genius, you know your name," commented Don playfully. Ok, that little experiment was a big dud. Time for the harsh truth. "Charlie, you spelt cat wrong. It's C A T, not K A T."

"But you spell Kaleidoscope with a K!" protested Charlie, referencing the birthday gift he had received from his brother, which enthralled him continuously with the patterns and shapes formed every time he peeked through it. "Cat. Kaleidoscope. Same sound. Why can't they be spelled with the same letter?"

Don looked at the kitchen door, hoping for some excellently timed motherly intervention but was disappointed. He had to explain the intricacies of the English language to his mathematically brother all by himself. Here goes nothing, thought Don:

"Well, you just can't. English is a weird language. Just remember this: Cat is spelt with a C, ok?" said Don with earnest eyes.

Charlie looked dubious as he mulled this over. The reliability of dictionaries could be called into question, so no checking there. But since his brother had never given him any reason to doubt him…

"Ok," agreed Charlie. "C A T, cat."

"There's a good Chuck," crooned Don and grinned when his brother glared at him. Calling him that will never get old, Don thought. Giving the actual spelling list in his hand a quick look-over, he suggested:

"How about a little basketball before dinner? Mom's cooking up something special so if we play, we can be extra hungry. You've got most of the words right; the ones you got wrong we'll go over after dinner. How does that sound?"

Instead of replying, Charlie simply scrambled up and went to the closet to grab the basketball that was stored there. Don met him at the door to the backyard but before going out, he stopped his brother with a hand on his shoulder and bending a bit he said:

"Now remember this: If anybody, for whatever reason, asks you to spell the word 'Cat', just say that you are a child prodigy with an IQ that is off the charts and being asked to spell such a simple word is below you. Ok?"

Digesting all that his brother said, Charlie grinned and replying in kind to his brother the drill sergeant for today, he said, "Aye aye captain!"

Khatum (The End)

Oh man, spelling tests... Need I say more? I tried to think back to that horrible spelling test I had to give in the 3rd grade (but I rocked it! Full marks. I don't know how but I did. Good childhood memory :D ) to remember what words 3rd graders are expected to know. I finally resorted to my music playlist for tonight (Redemtion Song, anyone?)

Simon named after the Warwick Uni rep who came to our school. He had me thinking for a whole lovely second that AS level results aren't that important. The Irish have a cruel sense of humour ;)

Hope you liked. Now I better sleep. Next one should be the present-day follow up to my L...