Fighting Destiny

0o0

You can't fight Destiny

No matter how hard you try

But you can hope

0o0

Let's see here… where to start? My name is Kagome Higurashi, a teenager at the age of 17, who travels down a well to collect jewel shards with an odd group of friends. I've been doing this for 2 years now and it still doesn't get any easier. You're probably thinking: I know all about this. Well something different has happened that you have no idea of. Right now I'm travelling through a dark forest. Again you may be thinking: You always travel in a dark forest! Well I'll tell you something new, I'm all alone.

Yep. You heard right. I'm alone in this demon-infested forest with hardly any sunlight and I also came here in my own free will; if you could call it that anyway. So where are Inuyasha and the rest? I left them. Not left, left them just went by myself for awhile. It may not have been a good idea but I feel like I'm the only one who could do this. I have to do this myself.

Why are you in there in the first place?

That's a good question. I'm going to save Kikyo's butt. You probably gasped right now, thinking that she didn't really say that but I did. There are probably a lot of questions going on through your head right now so I'll fill you in what happened.

Fortunately, this tale is a bit to long for me to tell you like this.

Here. This is what happened that led me to this drastic situation:

0o0

If it's true that the truth will set you free

Then why does it hurt

When you're out of the prison of lies?

0o0

5 days. 5 days ago Kagome caught Inuyasha with Kikyo once again. It happened like any other time. It was at the dead of night and Kagome found Inuyasha missing from his post. She intrigued as always, got up from her sleep and searched for Inuyasha.

How many times had she seen this scenario before?

Kagome searched for what seemed like an hour or so but she did find him. Him along with Kikyo. When she saw the sight she could feel the tears reaching into her eyes just like every other time. She left without a word when she saw them kiss. She didn't cry right there but she did cry when she got into her sleeping bag. When Inuyasha came back it was dawn and he didn't act any different from usual.

If only the same thing could be said about Kagome.

Now, fast forward to 5 days later:

The gang was walking quietly back towards Kaede's village. Everyone noticed how down and unreachable Kagome was. Ever since she had saw Inuyasha and Kikyo together again she hadn't said much. Everyone noticed that the light in her eyes had faded just to a small spark and they also noticed that whenever she smiled it was always forced.

Of course, the rest of the gang didn't know about Inuyasha and Kikyo's secret meeting. Only Kagome but even Inuyasha didn't know that. He thought it was a girl thing.

As they traveled Kagome silently arguing with herself. 'Should I confront Inuyasha?' she thought. 'I need to know. I need to know who he loves more; that is if he loves me at all.' Ever since that night Kagome's heart was being eaten alive. The wonders of unknowing were silently breaking her apart. She needed to know whom Inuyasha chose: her or Kikyo. 'I'll ask him.' she thought finally. 'I'll ask him at the Bone-Eaters well. That way, if he says he chooses Kikyo, I could be out of sight in no time at all.'

They reached Kaede's village with only a minimum of chatter going on. Sango, Miroku and Kirara went to Kaede's hut to help her with medicine and herbs. Shippo went off to play with the other village children. Kagome and Inuyasha walked quietly towards the Bone-Eaters well in silence. They both sensed the awkwardness and tension in the air and no one dared to break it. That was until they actually reached the well.

Kagome stopped abruptly and Inuyasha stopped too. He turned around and stared at Kagome with confused eyes. "What's wrong, wench?" he asked rudely.

Immediately Kagome could sense her anger rising up. "No one's allowed to call Kikyo names or else you'll beat them to a pulp but you could call me anything you want, is that right?" Kagome said angrily. Her grip on her bike handle was getting tighter every minute.

The hanyou stared at her in shock. The shock turned into confusion and that turned into anger. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "Why bring Kikyo into this?"

Kagome glared at him and forced her gathering tears away. She wouldn't cry. She knew that Inuyasha couldn't stand up properly with tears. She wanted a good and honest answer. "Don't act like you don't know, Inuyasha." She said. "I saw you with her." Even saying that made her want to cry but she didn't let it. She wouldn't cry. Her tears have almost run out on him.

The shock hit him again. She was there? 'That would explain her mood lately.' He thought to himself. He shouldn't have felt guilty about her seeing them but… he did. 'Why should I care if she saw?' he thought angrily. 'I don't own her and she doesn't own me. I should be able to see her without Kagome wanting to know everything.' "So what if you saw us?" he asked cruelly. "You know how I feel about her. Shouldn't you be used to this by now?" for some odd reason him saying that tore his heart apart. Guilt and some other feeling he was unfamiliar of were crushing it.

Kagome choked. "U-Used to it?" she repeated as she glared at him. "You know how much this hurts me and you still do it! Do you enjoy hurting me like this?" force the tears away Kagome. Force them away.

What Inuyasha wanted to say was 'no' but he didn't. "I'm not the one who's hurting you Kagome." He stated. "You're doing this to yourself. I love Kikyo. What part of that don't you get?" he asked coldly. Once again that feeling in his heart was back. The words he said felt like a damn lie. 'No.' he said to himself. 'I love Kikyo, there's no other way.'

Kagome's heart froze from his words. She did sense some truth to it. It wasn't him hurting her, it was herself. If she didn't love Inuyasha in the first place then she wouldn't be feeling this stabbing. But… it wasn't like she had a choice whether or not to love him. "Don't you love me Inuyasha?" she asked him in a whisper. 'I will not cry. I will not cry.' She chanted to herself.

Inuyasha hesitated. Did he love her? 'No, that's impossible.' He reasoned with himself. 'If I loved her then why would I love Kikyo?' truth was that he didn't know whether or not he liked Kagome that way. He was getting angrier at the confusion. 'I love Kikyo!' he ordered himself. If only his heart will listen. "Listen, Kagome." He said through gritted teeth. He will try to let her down gently and if that doesn't work then he'll just have to use force. "I loved Kikyo first. It wouldn't be fair for her if I went with her reincarnation instead of the original." He said coldly. Crap, this was killing him for some reason.

'I will not cry. I will not cry.' She chanted once more and it seemed to work. 'But what I will do,' she thought as she glared at him. 'Is get angry.' "Is that what you think of me Inuyasha?" she said. "Some kind of replacement until Kikyo comes back to you? How could you think of me like that?" she choked. It was either the tears choking her or her rising blood in anger.

Okay, maybe Inuyasha said the wrong thing. He gulped. He didn't want to hurt her, not really. "Kagome, you have it all wrong." He started to say as gently as possible. "I like you as a friend. Just a friend and maybe even a best one but let's not get that far. I'm sorry that you're hurting Kagome but I can't return your feelings. You of all people should know that." He said. Again, that feeling in his heart. The stabbing of a thousand knives digging in deeper into that tiny organ. Why it felt like that he didn't know.

His words hurt like ice on a sensitive tooth; painful yet numb. "I can't be just that Inuyasha." She said with a sad smile. "What about all the things you've done for me? Why would you be so determined to save me if I didn't mean anything more to you?" she paused. "It's because I look like Kikyo isn't it?" she asked sadly. "Please tell me that's not true."

Her words were confusing him and he didn't like it. He glared at her. "Stop being so stubborn Kagome!" he said harshly. "For once and for all, I love Kikyo not you! Can't you get into your thick head that you don't own me? You shouldn't make me feel guilty like this for I have done nothing wrong! You want me to be happy but you also want me to be with you. Well I'm sorry Kagome but I just can't be happy with a weak, naïve, stubborn wench like you!"

Ouch. Kagome gulped, trying to keep her unshed tears at bay. Was he really this mean? Is he trying to push her away like so many others he came close too? Kagome couldn't believe it. She feared this answer and didn't want to hear it. But she must. She needs to know so that she may have a chance to move on. If that's possible that is. She gulped once more, trying to find the courage she needed to ask the question. "So, Inuyasha." She said in a sad tone that even sounded choked to her. "Is it me or Kikyo?" she asked finally, holding her breath.

Once again he hesitated. His heart was thrumming like a drum in his chest. He had to say it. He had to let her know whom he loves more. He can't let her suffer like this. 'It's Kikyo.' He recited to himself. 'It's her that I love.' Then why did it feel like a lie? His mind was saying yes but his heart and soul was saying otherwise. He strained his voice to say those words but something didn't let him to speak. It was like an invisible force was forcing his words back so that he could think it over again. Inuyasha ignored it though. In his mind it was Kikyo, not Kagome. He didn't think of her as a shadow, he saw that a long time ago. That was the truth. 'But I still love Kikyo.' He tried to persuade himself. When he thought those words he could feel something in him protesting strongly but he pushed it back. 'She needs to know.' He thought finally. "Kikyo." He said. It sounded like an abused whisper even to him. "I love Kikyo. Never you."

His heart froze while Kagome's shattered.

Kagome's face turned emotionless, a very uncharacteristic gesture. She could literally hear her heart breaking into pieces. That was it huh? Well she said she wouldn't cry. So she won't. Kagome nodded her head slowly as she stared blankly at the hanyou she had grown to love. "Okay." Her voice sounded so plain it may have matched Sesshomaru's himself. "That's all I needed to know."

As soon as the words exited from Inuyasha's mouth he instantly wanted them back. He would have done anything to rewind time and stop himself from saying those cruel words. But, as he knew, once it's done then it's done. You can't change it. He saw her face turn void from any emotion what so ever. Her eyes didn't match though. As Inuyasha stared into them he could see their usual glimmer and shine disappear from view. He could see the over-whelming sadness swimming in her chocolate pools followed by a hint of betrayal. He wanted the words back but he couldn't make it so. He had said it. The thing that would drive Kagome away from him. His heart shook from the thought.

'Feh.' He thought to himself. 'It's not like I need her. Kikyo could see the shards just fine.' Those words made him feel like that something inside him was clawing at him to get out. He could almost hear it roar in anger and resentment at what he had thought and said. Too bad Inuyasha couldn't take back his words and force them back into his mouth.

They stood there in utter silence just staring at one another. Kagome's face was unreadable while Inuyasha's was stricken with guilt and anger. It was Kagome who broke the tension. "I'm sorry for clinging onto like I did." She attempted to smile but failed. "It must have been pretty hard for you huh?" even her voice sounded void.

Inuyasha didn't do anything. What had he said? It was tearing him up inside seeing her like that. 'No!' he told himself forcefully. 'I will not go back on my word! Kikyo is and forever my lover. No one else!' Once again he felt like he was lying. 'Damn you!' he cursed angrily at himself. 'What could I do to make you see sense?' he thought bitterly.

They stared at each other as another lapse of time passed. Again it was Kagome who broke the silence. "I'm sorry that I'll still be coming back though." She said as if she was Sesshomaru. "I may not go with you in our- I mean your hunts anymore since you'll have Kikyo but I still have a responsibility to take care of Shippo. And plus, I promised to you that I wouldn't leave your side no matter what. I bet you cursed that day didn't you?"

Once again he didn't reply to that. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest when she said she would still come back. 'Feh. Not like I care anyway.' He thought cruelly.

Kagome closed her eyes; she could barely refrain from crying anymore. When she opened them again they were blank. No shine what so ever and it scared the shit out of Inuyasha. "I'll be going now. And you don't need to wait for me anymore right? So don't delay the hunts for me." She turned to go. The grip she had on her bike was like a death grip. She needed all the support she could get to help her not fall down crying her heart out. She mounted the bike on the rim and turned back to Inuyasha once more. She was unable to help the tear that slid down her face. "Goodbye, Inuyasha." She said before she jumped into the well and disappeared at the bottom.

Inuyasha stood there as if he had been slapped. He couldn't get what just happened. Why was it that when she said goodbye he thought she meant forever? It wasn't like he cared if he ever saw her again… right? 'Damn her.' He cursed bitterly. 'I don't care if she ever comes back! We don't need her!' he said as he fled from the Bone-Eaters well.

If only he knew how wrong he was.

0o0

Speak when you are angry

Then you'll make a great speech

That you will forever regret

0o0

It has been a week since that fateful day and Kagome was in her room with the door locked. It wasn't necessary since her mother was out with a few friends and Souta was at a slumber party. Her grandpa wouldn't be up since he's also locked into his room. Turns out he attacked one of the visitors because he thought he was a demon. It was sort of like a silent confinement.

Ever since a week ago she had been off-limits and refined. She wouldn't go out and she wouldn't be social with anyone; not even her mum. She hadn't even cried the night after the talk. Just stayed like she was now, refined and forcing herself to not care.

Kagome was on her bed. She hadn't changed her clothes after she had gone to school. She held the pillow close to her as she was lying down on her chest. Her head was turned sideways so that she could face her room. Her eyes were not the same as they were after the talk with Inuyasha. They were complete with emotions at the moment. Full of pain, grief, betrayal, denial, anger, sadness, hurt, love, everything that made her hurt magnify ten-fold.

She hadn't cried since that tear escaped her eyes. She was still restraining herself from crying. If you cried it would hurt more because it showed you cared. She didn't want to care. She really didn't but it wasn't her choice now was it?

Kagome didn't know how long she had stayed like this but it must have been for a long time since it was night for awhile. She just couldn't get over the fact that Inuyasha chose Kikyo over her. It seemed like her entire fairytale had been torn away. 'But fairytales aren't true, are they?' she thought bitterly to herself. She had been expecting that answer from Inuyasha yet it still hurt her like she never believed it at all. Maybe she didn't believe it. Maybe she really did think that Inuyasha might choose her other than Kikyo. She forced out a bitter laugh. 'So it's true that love makes you blind.'

She was tired. Emotionally and physically. Her eyelids closed halfway and she could feel her vision get blurry. After a long while she gave up trying to fight it and fell into a world of sleep, expecting pain. But this time it wasn't painful. It wasn't the usual 'Inuyasha going to Kikyo' nightmare she had every night since then. It was odd. She didn't have a dream at all. She had a vision…

The Vision:

Kagome was all alone, no where in particular. Just a black void with nothing in it except for her. Well that's what she thought anyway. She could sense someone else was here with her. It felt familiar as if it were… family.

She looked around the place but it was so dark that it could have been that her eyes were closed. She could sense it near her, really near her but she couldn't see it anywhere. This black void had, literally, nothing in it except her. Well at least she thought because she could hardly see herself too.

'I wonder if this is what it's like in Miroku's hell hole…' she wondered to herself. 'If it is then it isn't so bad, unless you have to be in here for all eternity. I think I might go mad before I actually die.'

She could sense the presence call out to her and she froze on the spot. She wasn't imagining this, it was real. "Hello?" she called out uncertain. She could have sworn that she sensed this power before. It was at the tip of her tongue and she couldn't get it out. 'Who is this?' she asked himself.

Suddenly a light came out from far away in the darkness. Kagome had to squint her eyes to see it. It wasn't moving and Kagome could tell it was a human.

Panicked, Kagome ran towards the person. She couldn't tell if she was actually moving at all. It was so dark that she hardly saw where she was going. She felt like she was moving on the spot, not getting anywhere. She ran harder and went to a full on sprint. Still she didn't seem like she was any closer.

'Damn this void! What is this? Some kind of mind trick?' she cursed to herself. She ran harder and surprisingly she didn't get tired at all. She wasn't sweating like she usually would and her legs weren't giving out- yet. 'What's going on?' she thought to herself.

Kagome could see the figure get bigger and she nearly jumped for joy to know that she was actually moving. She couldn't tell if she was just imagining the glow. She thought it might have been a trick of the eyes but when she saw it getting bigger she knew it was real.

She ran faster and again she felt weightless. This was so much more different than her other dreams and nightmares. When Inuyasha confessed to her she had nightmares that felt like she was being pushed down by some invisible weight. She couldn't move and couldn't speak as she watched Inuyasha run to Kikyo with open arms. But now, it's entirely different.

There wasn't a great weight stopped her from running and there was no force holding her back. She almost felt free.

Kagome reached the glowing figure and stopped a couple of steps away from it. The sight almost made her throw up. Lying down, below her, was Kikyo. Her eyes were closed and her lips were an unusual blue. She didn't move, her chest didn't even rise like it was supposed to. She didn't feel free any more. She felt like she was pulled back from that false hope and back into the world of hurt and pain. That weight was back on top of her and this time it was heavier.

Kagome slowly knelt down beside her and touched her slightly. Even that one touch made her pull back as if she was on fire. But it was exactly the opposite. She was freezing! Kagome's eyes were filled with worry as she stared down at the still woman below her. She didn't hate Kikyo. Not really. Kagome touched her again and this time on her cheek. Again she recoiled, rubbing her hands to cause friction. She felt so cold.

'Could she be… frozen?' she thought to herself.

"Not yet." A voice from in front of her said. "Not yet." It repeated.

Kagome's head snapped right up, her eyes widened with terror. In front of her was a short figure with a white cloak on. It had covered its entire body but not the lower part of his head. Kagome could see the icy-blue skin it had. Its face was perfectly smooth but it was as blue as ice. It also didn't look like a human chin but a sort of other animal. Maybe a toad or a turtle but something. It definitely wasn't a human though. "Who are you?" Kagome asked curiously.

"That matters not." It said. It had a deep husky voice and it was impossible to tell the gender of this being.

Kagome stared at the clocked figure then back at the frozen Kikyo. "What have you done to her?" she asked quietly. If it was this guy that had done this to her then she would be angry. She couldn't let someone do that to Inuyasha's love just like that and get away with it. "Are you a demon?" she asked, fighting the angry tone in her voice.

Truth was, it didn't feel like a demon in any sorts. Kagome couldn't sense an ounce of evil energy pouring out of its tiny body. All it gave Kagome was a cold chill down her spine.

"I am not a demon." It said. "Quite the opposite. I am not a dark being who gains his power from dark forces. I am one that actually repels the magic. I cannot be affected by it." it said.

Kagome didn't by it. "If you're not a demon then who did this to Kikyo?" she asked as she motioned to the still body below her. "If you're so pure then why did you do this to her?"

The creature of some sort gave a low scowl. "She deserved it." it said. "Do you know why she is like this right now?"

Kagome didn't know. She looked at it then back at Kikyo. She looked deadly peaceful like that, not a care in the world. But Kagome knew better. Kikyo was probably still alive in all that ice and she would be suffering a lot of pain. She glanced up and glared at the creature. "No, I don't know. Should you tell me?"

"She has gone for too long with devouring a soul." It said. "Her body has grown weak from that and she could easily die once more."

"What kind of reason is that?" Kagome growled. "You don't want her to die so you should freeze her to death? Not very smart."

It gave another scowl. "Do you know what fate the humans have when they decide to return to the earth when their time had already passed? They are doomed to wander the earth forever as figures made from clay and dirt."

Kagome blinked. "What has that got to do with anything?" she asked it. "What gives you the right to freeze her like this?" she said angrily.

"Because, human, she chose this path. She chose to wander the earth even after her time and with that there comes a price. If her body is weak and unable to go any longer then we freeze them in an eternal hell on earth."

Kagome gave it a confused look. "What has this got to do with anything about you two being in my dream?" she asked curiously. She looked down at Kikyo once more and saw that the ice around her was growing. She panicked. "What's happening to her?"

"I have explained it to you already." It said. "She will live an eternity on earth without ever passing to the afterlife."

That sounded bad. Kagome stared at Kikyo with empathy in her eyes. She could almost see her struggle to fight the impossible just like she tried to fight the fact that Inuyasha loved Kikyo, not her. She grew angry suddenly that they were here. Why were they here? What the heck are they doing? She glared up at him with resentfulness in her eyes. "Let her go." She said. "She doesn't deserve to live forever in hell because she didn't want to kill anymore souls. To me, that's a good deed."

The creature made a laugh. It wasn't human at all. Sort of a croak and snort. "'Tis not matter if she did good or not. She refused the afterlife at first so she will pay the price."

Kagome grew panicked. If Kikyo died then wouldn't Inuyasha be miserable? Since he had finally chosen between them then shouldn't he be happy with her for once and for all? She grew angry that this guy is trying to take away Inuyasha's happiness. "What could I do to save Kikyo?" she asked through gritted teeth.

From what Kagome could tell it was smirking. "Do you wish to save this maidens life?" it asked. Its voice was inhuman, it gave Kagome the creeps.

Kagome nodded slowly. She didn't hate Kikyo. And if she could do something to save her then she would do it. It isn't like her to just let a person die if there was something you could do to stop it. It was her nature and it was impossible to change it. Plus Kikyo deserved a happy life. The last time she died was unfair and cruel. If she couldn't lead a happy life then, then she'd have a happy life now, in this time. And finally there was Inuyasha to consider. Kikyo is the one he loved even though it pained her to admit it. If she died then Inuyasha would be miserable and if he was miserable then she was too. If Inuyasha was happy then she would be fine with that, most of the times. "Yes." She said. "I do wish to save Kikyo's life."

She could just hear the sly smirk that was laid on its face as soon as she said that. "Are you sure?" it asked. "It will cost you dearly."

For some reason Kagome thought that it planned this answer from her. What the heck did it want from her? "What do you want from me?" she asked wearily.

"Your soul." It answered.

Kagome froze. Did she just hear right? Did it just say it wanted her… soul? Kagome stared at it in disbelief. "M-My soul?" she repeated. "Why would you need my soul in order to save Kikyo's life?" she asked.

Was it her or did Kikyo's glow begin to fade? "Do you really think that we'd just let her go free?" it said with a hint of humor in its croaky voice. "No, human, we can't do that. We have seen the strength of your spirit and we would like to test it. If it is stronger than Kikyo's then she shall go free but you must take her place. If you fail then we will keep you both."

Kagome didn't like this bargain. It was a lose-lose situation. She gulped as she stared down at the body. "Is that the only way to save her?" she asked quietly.

The creature nodded its tiny head. "Yes, it is."

Kagome looked up with tears in her eyes. She didn't let them fall though. She wasn't going to cry in front of a total stranger and possible enemy. "Then I'll do it." she said. "What do I have to do?"

As soon as she said those words she could have sworn that the void had grown darker, if that possible anyway. "You must travel to Icy Forest. There you will be tested and your fate will be sealed."

"A forest?" she asked. "The earthy hell is in a forest? Wouldn't people, like, pass it every day?"

"Don't be deceived miko." It said. "The place is sacred ground. No demon may enter it and no human has ever found it. From above it is hidden by many large trees so it could hide. From the ground it is deep and dark. But all this is just an illusion. If you take away this spell then you'll see nothing more than an icy wasteland; void of any life-forms except for us." It said. "It will and forever be a secret hell for the cursed souls."

Kagome didn't say anything. This was all so new to her. She turned her eyes back to the frozen Kikyo and stared at her. Even though she was frozen and as pale as a ghost she was still beautiful. Something Kagome could never be. "How will I get there?" she asked in an emotionless voice.

"There are no directions for this journey, miko." It said. "The miko here will guide you for her soul reaches out to its other part in time of need. Your own soul will be attracted to the call and it will lead you to the right path."

Kagome nodded, still not looking up at it. Did she really want to give up her life for the person before her? Did she really think that this is the right thing to do? It's obvious that this guy was planning something with her but did she really have a choice? She'd be haunted for the rest of her life anyway if she doesn't save Kikyo. "Fine." She said finally. "I'll go."

Kagome could see the disgusting smile on its face but for some reason she didn't hate it. "Excellent." It said. "You have 5 days, miko. If you arrive too late then Kikyo here will be frozen for all eternity. And don't worry. You will arrive there in time." it said before it backed away from her and Kikyo.

Kagome watched as it disappeared from view, the smile still plastered on its face when it was finally gone. Kagome turned her attentions back to Kikyo, unshed tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry this happened to you Kikyo." She said quietly to her. "Don't worry. I'll be there. You'll be out and walking in no time at all." She attempted a smile but failed. "Please make Inuyasha happy."

Just after that she blacked out. She didn't notice that the body moved or that Kikyo's eyes were wide open with shock and anger. She didn't even see her mouth the word: "No…" with the expression of horror on her face before the ice took her once more…

End of Vision:

Kagome shot right up from her bed sweating. Was that real? Did it actually happen? She didn't want to believe it but she did. Something inside her knew that it was real and Kikyo would die soon if she doesn't get there in time. She hopped out of bed, still in her school uniform, and got out a piece of paper and a pen. She turned on her desk light and began to write.

Dear Family,

I'm sorry but I'm going back to the Sengoku-jidai because I'm needed there. It's different this time though. It isn't Inuyasha who needs me but someone else. Someone that's kind of… close to me. I might not be able to return to you guys and I'm sorry about that. This is really urgent and I want you guys not to worry. I might not come back but don't grieve over me. Please don't. You'll make it harder for yourself. Anyway time's going by and I need to go. I'm sorry and I hope you find it in your heart to somehow forgive me for leaving you like this. I'll miss you.

Love you always, Kagome.

Kagome put down the pen and she realized that she was crying. Not for Inuyasha but for her family. Gosh how she'll miss them. She wiped the tears away and put the letter on her bed where they would find it. She headed down stairs in silence. She packed her empty bag full of water and food for 5 days worth.

When she finished with that she went outside with the bag full and on her back. Before she opened the door into the well house she glanced back at her home once more. "I'll miss you." She said quietly to no one in particular, tears streaming down her face. "Goodbye." She said before she entered and jumped down the well.

When Kagome reached the other side she hopped out quietly. Even here it was still dead at night and Kagome was still weary in waking up some people. She didn't find Inuyasha there waiting for her and she was relieved to say the least. She didn't want to deal with him right now.

Before she would head off towards some place she had no clue about, she went into Kaede's hut. She had to talk about this to someone. Someone she could trust. Just like Kikyo's younger sister. To her surprise Kaede was still awake and it seemed like she was waiting for her. She was sitting on the futon and stared at her as she entered the door. "I knew something important was happening tonight. But what does it have to do with ye?" she asked Kagome.

Kagome smiled sadly at her as she sat down with her, the bag dumped by the doorframe. "I need to tell you something Kaede-sama." She said. And she did. She told Kaede everything that happened that very same night. She even told her what happened between Inuyasha and her. At first Kagome thought she might be angry but she was surprised that she saw Kaede in tears. "What's wrong Kaede-sama?" she asked.

Kaede wiped the tear from her eyes. "I'm sorry, child." She said. "But I must protest greatly to this plan. I care for my sister a lot but her time had come ages ago. Ye shouldn't be substituting for her since this is her fate. Not yours. Ye still draw breath." She said sadly.

Kagome shook her head stubbornly. "Sorry but I can't go back on my word." She looked pleadingly at her. "Please keep this a secret Kaede-sama." She said. "Don't tell the others about this."

Kaede wiped more tears away. "Nay child. I shall keep this secret." She then looked at Kagome seriously. "But if Inuyasha would ask I will say. It is not right for ye to keep this a secret for he has something to do with this."

Kagome stared at her with confusion and anger. "What do you mean?" she asked angrily. "Inuyasha has nothing to do with this!"

Kaede shook her head. "He has everything to do with this, child." She said solemnly. "Would ye still sacrifice your very soul so that ye could save Kikyo even though Inuyasha may not have chosen her? Would ye still have given your very life to my sister if Inuyasha said he chose ye and not her?"

Kagome looked down at her sweaty palms. Would she have made this decision if Inuyasha chose her instead? No. She knew that. She would still have gone because she would do anything in her power to save Inuyasha's former love. But… he did have a lot to do with this. "Fine." She said angrily. "Tell that jerk. I doubt he'd even care. He'd be jumping for joy that Kikyo will live while I take her place in hell."

The old miko gave her a disappointed look. "Child, you don't think much of Inuyasha now do ye?" she asked. "He cares for ye child and it will pain him greatly if ye left."

The younger miko didn't reply to that. What was she supposed to say? That she was just angry with him because he had broken her heart? "As long as he's happy." Kagome said silently. "I'll be willing to do anything in my power to make it so."

No one said anything after that for awhile. It was Kaede who broke the silence. "I see there's no changing your mind, child." She said sadly as tears streamed down her face. "If your mission succeeds then I'll miss ye greatly. Please take care of yourself."

Kagome got up and gave her a hug. "I promise." She said as her own tears streamed down. "Tell Sango, Miroku, Kirara and Shippo that I will always love them." She said and paused. "Tell Inuyasha to not come after me if he finds out. Please don't because it'll make it harder." She paused again as she pulled away from Kaede's hug. She wiped the tear away and forced herself to calm. Inside those brown eyes was a flood of unshed tears. Too bad she won't open the gates to let them out. "And tell Inuyasha I love him too." She said silently. "Now and forever." She gave Kaede a small and sad smile. "And I love you too Kaede-sama."

Kaede's tears were flooding out of her eye. "I love ye too child. Take care." Were her final words before Kagome left the hut.

0o0

There are occasions were making a loss

Is more fitting then a gain

0o0

So here we are. That basically covers it. Now you know why I'm here in this dark forest all alone. I've been traveling by myself for 3 days now and to tell you the truth, it isn't very cold to be named the 'Icy Forest'. Well the freaky thing said it was an illusion and it'll get me 5 days to get there. I'm probably no where near it yet at the speed I'm going.

As you all know I'm walking by instinct. I have no clue in where I'm going and it worries me to the bone. My feelings have been wrong sometimes and I fear it may be wrong this time too. All I could feel was something calling out to me but I don't know if that's just my imagination or the real thing. Life is so confusing.

I hope Kaede-sama hasn't told anyone yet about where I'm going. It will probably take Inuyasha two or three days to catch up to me and I'm seriously hoping that he won't. I can't deal with Inuyasha right now. Besides he probably doesn't care anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if he has the time of his life if he hears the news…

0o0

Jumping to assumptions

Could be the worst leap anyone can make

0o0

It has been 10 days since Inuyasha last saw Kagome. The guilt and something else he didn't know was chewing his heart up inside. He had barely been anywhere near the Bone-Eater's well since their fight for Kagome's scent was strong there. It would make him want to jump into the well without a second thought and retrieve Kagome without an argument.

As much as he would want to deny it he missed her greatly. He hadn't seen her for 10 days and it was slowly driving him nuts. 'Would she come back?' he thought to himself, as he was perched on the branch of the Goshinboku. 'Would she keep her promise and stay with me even after what I said?'

He didn't know when but Inuyasha hated what he said to her that day. Sure he loved Kikyo but he also loved Kagome. It hurt him to know that he was the one who caused the pain for her. He never missed Kikyo like this whenever she was away. Sure, he would think about her sometimes in the night or day but when it was Kagome he couldn't get his mind off her. 'Damn wench.' he said sadly in his mind. 'When are you coming back to me?'

For 10 days the group has noticed how depressed and sulky Inuyasha was and has been trying to cheer him up. They would never succeed though and they know why. Kagome.

For the past days Inuyasha has vowed to himself every single day that he would apologize to Kagome for what he said to her. He was still confused on which he wanted to be with but he missed Kagome too much. He knew he was being selfish and wanting to have both Kagome and Kikyo but he couldn't help it. He couldn't live his life without Kagome. Kikyo he could but Kagome, no. He would die before he loses Kagome. 'Kagome! Get back here now!' Inuyasha ordered, no use as he lay on the branch and plus he doubted Kagome could hear him from his mind.

He often wondered if he should just go down there and steal her away but he couldn't do that. If he did then it would only make Kagome even more mad or sad. 'That is…' he thought. 'If Kagome still loves me.' This thought had been haunting him for days. What if she didn't love him anymore for what he said? That didn't matter much to Inuyasha though. As long as Kagome was alive and well he was happy. Having her for a lover would only be a bonus.

But… if she wasn't his lover then that would mean that she would be with another man. The thought alone made his blood boil. If he couldn't have Kagome then no one will. He hoped that she understood that. And yes, he did know that he was being a selfish, possessive, stubborn, violent, angry and arrogant but he didn't care. As long as he was with Kagome and only him then he would be fine.

He also knew that he didn't deserve a girl like her. How many times has he hurt her and yet had been forgiven? Inuyasha lost count. Once Kagome sets foot back in his time he would apologize immediately. He would actually beg if it took that much. He hoped not though.

He made a mistake and he learnt from it. He didn't love Kikyo as much as he did Kagome. If only he said that last time. That was the feeling that was choking him up inside when he said those harsh words to her. It was love. And it was still choking him now since Kagome wasn't here by his side. 'Get back here Kagome.' He thought. And he also thought a thought that no one else would have believed even if they heard it in person. 'I miss you…'

Suddenly the breeze hit his face. The wind was coming from the direction where the Bone-Eater's well was. As soon as the scent hit his noses his eyes opened wide with shock and disbelief. As quick as a flash he was running towards the well. 'Kagome's here!' he thought happily. 'She actually came back!'

But when he reached the well his hopes shrunk. There was no Kagome there. But then what did he smell? He hadn't been here for a long time. He hasn't been waiting here even after he admitted his feelings towards Kagome. He just didn't want to be near the well where she had said her good-byes.

Inuyasha looked puzzled as he walked towards the well. It was Kagome's scent all right but it wasn't exactly fresh. He reached the brim and sniffed the air around it. No doubt about it, Kagome was here not too long ago. Inuyasha frowned as he sniffed more. It couldn't be any more than 3 or 4 days old and plus, he found the scent of tears.

'Kagome's been crying?' he thought. 'But why?' the thought about it being his fault made his heart quake. He turned around hastily and looked around for any more signs that Kagome was here. 'Is she's here then why didn't she go back to Sango or something?' he asked himself. 'Even if she was mad with me she could've went to Sango or Kaede or someone!' he thought angrily. 'It isn't safe for her to wander all alone here! She could be in trouble!'

Inuyasha reached a decision to tell the others. If Kagome was in trouble then he should know about it.

He held a meeting under the Goshinboku. The entire gang was there, even Kaede. "Listen." He ordered. "I had smelt Kagome's scent by the well and so that means she's here in this time somewhere." He glanced at everyone. "Have any of you guys seen her?" he asked.

Sango shook her head. "If Kagome came here then she hasn't come to me." The thought saddened her a bit but she kept her back straight. "What if she was attacked by demons?" she asked in a worried tone. "We shouldn't be here talking if that happened!"

"Calm, Lady Sango." Miroku said. His face was as calm as ever but everyone knew him well enough that he was worried too. "I have not seen Lady Kagome either. Perhaps she went back before we even saw her."

Inuyasha shook his head. Kagome wasn't like that. She wouldn't drop by and leave so suddenly. He turned to Shippo. When he saw his tears he knew that he couldn't have anything to do with it. And he couldn't have asked Kirara either. She was always stuck with Sango. That leaves Kaede. He turned to her with a suspicious look. He could actually sense her discomfort and tense. "You know something hag," he said. "Talk."

Kaede sighed sadly. "Aye. I'll talk." She closed her eye. "But I'm pretty sure Kagome wouldn't be too happy with this." She opened her eye again and stared at everyone with sad expression. "And ye all may not be too happy with this either."

They all stared at her intently with confusion written on their faces. "What are you talking about Kaede-sama?" Sango asked. For some reason everyone was tense under the old miko's gaze gaze.

Kaede sighed again. "She asked me to keep 'tis a secret but she said I could tell ye if ye asked. So I'll say."

Inuyasha growled at her. "Stop delaying, hag! Tell us what happened now!" whatever Kaede was going to say Inuyasha knew he wouldn't like it one bit.

Miroku cast Inuyasha a glare. "Have patience Inuyasha!" he said. "Don't be disrespectful to Lady Kaede like that!"

"Feh! Not like you could make me!"

"Inuyasha, Miroku. Shut up and listen to Kaede-sama you fools!" Sango bellowed. "I'm curious as is and I don't want it to be delayed because of you two!"

Both fell silence for they too wanted to know what happened. Kaede gave them a blank look before she answered their curiosity. "Kagome has left us." She said sadly. "She has gone to Icy Forest to save Kikyo."

Everyone didn't know what to react to that. It was Inuyasha who first snapped out from the shock. "Say what?" he yelled.

"What I mean is that Kagome had to save Kikyo from living an eternity in hell." She said. She received blank faces from everyone so she continued. "Since Kikyo hadn't devoured much souls lately her body has grown weak. Now she's held captive by the sprites of the undead. They are the ones who keep the people, who had a second chance of living, here on earth. Since Kikyo's kind rejected the invitation to the world of the dead they were damned to forever walk the earth. If they grow too weak in the event that they might die again these sprites will capture them and freeze them for all eternity. They will not be allowed to pass onto the afterlife since they had rejected the invitation in the first place."

Everything was slowly making sense but none of them wanted to believe it. "Then how will Kagome-sama help save Lady Kikyo?" Miroku asked.

Kaede's expression fell and everyone knew what she was going to say next. "She has to replace Kikyo with herself."

Inuyasha jolted up and glared at her. "What?!" he bellowed. "She's going to be the one who lives in hell for all eternity? She's really going to sacrifice herself just so that Kikyo could walk again?" to say he was furious was an understatement. He was down right pissed. "Why would Kagome do that? More importantly why does it even have to be her?"

"I think I know why." Sango said. "Because she is Kikyo's reincarnation so that means they're the one and the same. The sprites won't care which one they have as long as they're basically the same person."

"Screw that!" Inuyasha yelled angrily. "Kagome is nothing like Kikyo! They would never replace Kikyo with her! They're nothing alike!"

"Personally no." Miroku said wisely. "But spiritually yes. They hold the same soul Inuyasha."

Inuyasha punched the Goshinboku hard. "Damn it all! What in seven hells was she thinking?!"

Kaede gave him a pitiful look. "I'm sorry child but this is how she wanted it. She wouldn't change her plan. She said she loved ye all. Even ye Inuyasha."

Inuyasha glared at the ground. "If she loved me then why would she do this to me? Damn her! Kagome what were you thinking?!"

"I agree that Lady Kagome's action was a little rash but she had good intentions. If we know her as well as we say we do then we should know that." Miroku said. "Lady Kagome would not let someone die if there was a way to save them."

"Fuck her intentions!" Inuyasha yelled as he turned to face them. His golden eyes were ablaze with anger and disbelief. "Let's get going. We'll catch up to her and shake her out of her temporary madness."

Sango gave him a puzzled yet angry look. "What do you care Inuyasha?" she asked harshly. "You're always going off with Kikyo and leaving Kagome hurt. Why are you choosing Kagome now? Why choose her to live and not Kikyo?"

'Because I love her!' was what Inuyasha wanted to yell out at them. It pained him to know that he would lose one of them but he certainly didn't want it to be Kagome. She meant more to him then anyone ever knew, even himself. "I won't explain myself to you." He hissed. "What are we doing still standing here? We have to run!"

"Inuyasha, child, you may still have time left." Kaede said with hope in her eye. She, too, wanted Kagome to live. She knew that her sister's time had past and it should be this way but Kagome still drew breath. She still had a future ahead of her. "She said that she'd arrive there in 5 days. Only 3 had passed. You may be able to catch up to her before she acts."

Sango and Miroku agreed. "Yes. We'll go now." Sango said determined.

"I want to come too!" Shippo cried out. "I want to see Kagome again!"

"No." Inuyasha said flatly. "You'll only slow us down, runt. If you tag along we'll never get to her in time."

Shippo started to protest but Miroku stopped him. "Perhaps Inuyasha may be right on this one Shippo." He said politely. "Maybe you should stay for this one time."

Shippo started to cry more and shook his head. "You can't leave me alone like that when Kagome might need me! I'm going and that's that!" he said persistently.

Inuyasha growled in irritation. "Screw this. You'll ALL get in my way with your human speed. I'm just going on ahead okay?" he said.

"Inuyasha, no." Kaede said. "The place Kagome is headed to is sacred ground. No demon could enter it." she stated.

For the first time in the last 10 days Inuyasha smirked. "No demon but in case you haven't noticed, I'm a hanyou." He said.

"So you're proud that you're one then?" asked Sango. "Make up your mind Inuyasha!"

"Feh. Just hurry up already. Kagome could be attacked by demons by now thanks to you." Inuyasha said rudely.

"Shippo, please. Stay here and we'll come back." Miroku tried to say. "If not for us then for the sake of Lady Kagome's." he said.

Shippo sat on the ground with tears pouring out of his eyes. "I just can't believe she'd leave me like that." He said sadly.

Inuyasha growled in warning at him. "She did not leave you, runt. She didn't leave anyone of us because she's going to come back!"

"Take care, children. Be back safe." Kaede said as the trio departed from the village and followed Kagome's old-but-still-there scent. Shippo was by her side watching with her as Inuyasha ran and Miroku and Sango were on Kirara. Kaede watched with a regretful expression on her face. "I'm sorry Kagome but 'tis for the best."

0o0

Once one's mind is made up

It is almost impossible to change it

Especially if they have a duty to fulfill

0o0

Two more days past and Kagome was at the center of the forest. Well at least she thought so anyway. While on the way she found no demons or a particular hanyou, which made her happy. She didn't have any troubles getting here. She knew this was the middle because she could feel it in her gut. The place even had some ghostly air in it.

The sprite was right: it was a good illusion. There were no sunlight seeping in through the trees just big, thick mist. She stood there as the ghostly mist surrounded her very being. She could feel the chills that went up from her spine at the uneasy silence in the area. The mist had got thicker when she went deeper into the forest and the temperature had dropped also. When she let out a breath white smoke would come out of it.

The mist was so thick that she couldn't see any trees. She couldn't even tell if there was anything above her. The place was thick with cold, not cool, mist. It damped her clothes and sent her shivering. It wasn't just the cold making her shiver but the holy feeling she got in this area.

Kagome's chocolate brown eyes scanned the area. Where were they? This was the spot. She could feel it. 'Well that is if my gut feeling is right anyway.' She thought to herself. She was in nothing more than a small plain with no trees. If she could see through the mist she could have sworn that the trees went around this particular piece of land and something tall was in it too. Where the heck were they?

As if to answer her question the mist started to rise slowly. This irked Kagome a great deal but put up with it. When the mist had finally lifted so that she could see better she gasped. She knew now this was definitely the place.

All around the land there were giant pillars of ice. Kagome stared around at the now icy scenery. The trees were covered with thick, unbreakable ice that even made you shiver just to look at it. There was no sky, only thick mist cutting your view from the sun. It also seemed like it wasn't mist, there was a grayish fog coming on. Nevertheless the place turned out a beautiful cool blue and white.

Kagome shivered at the sudden drop of temperature. She rubbed her arms to get warmth but it didn't seem to do anything. Her brown orbs scanned the giant ice pillars more closely and her heart shook from the sight. Inside, frozen for all eternity, were humans. In every pillar was a different person frozen in time. All the people seemed to come from a different time; their clothes were all strange and came from different time fields.

Kagome stepped closer to the pillar closest to her and examined the frozen person inside. It was a teenage looking man. He had clothes that seemed older than the ones she saw in this time. His dark brown eyes stared up at the sky with a permanent expression on his face; fear and pain. The young miko shivered as she stared at the young man's face. It looked so real-like. It looked so artificial but it wasn't. She knew that but there was something off about it. It was his eyes. They held the same lifeless look in them like she saw in Kikyo's; cold and relentless.

'These must be the people who came back to life.' She thought as she skimmed her eyes to everyone of the pillars. They all held at least one person and some with even two. There were a lot of these icy pillars, a lot of frozen people doomed to live the eternity in ice. 'There's so many…' she thought sadly as pity took over her. 'This is so sad.'

"Welcome, young miko." A croaky voice greeted.

Kagome had to squint her eyes in order to see the person who talked. The mist and fog was still heavy and it was hard for her too see far. The figure came into focus and Kagome saw not only one person but also 4 or 5. She didn't know how much but they were the same size as the sprite she met before. They had the same white cloak that the other one had and they're features were all the same. "Are you the sprites?" she asked quietly.

One of the larger ones stepped up and nodded its small head. "We're the Keepers of the Damned." It said. "And you must be the reincarnation of Kikyo."

Kagome nodded. "Yeah, I am." She said. "Where is she?" she asked.

The Keepers broke apart so that they made a small clearing. Kagome stepped closer to them in order to see what was behind the sprites. What she saw made her gasp in terror. It was another ice pillar but this one wasn't finished yet. Kikyo's neck and face had yet to freeze. The rest of her body was contained in solid ice. The back of her head was also consumed. The tip of the ice pillar was like a pencil yet more jagged. Kagome grew worried when she saw that she wasn't even awake. Her eyes were closed as if asleep but Kagome knew that she wasn't. Her face was so calm and serene that Kagome thought she might actually be peaceful here- might. "I'm here now so let her go." She ordered. This was just cruel. They freeze the people slowly and painfully. It was sick.

The one who spoke earlier spoke again. "First we must test you." It said. "We shall see if you are worthy enough to replace your reincarnation."

Kagome had the feeling that this was their leader. It was a bit taller than all of them and in a closer inspection she realized that its cloak wasn't white but a soft gray. "Fine." She said in a cold tone. "What do I have to do?" was she really doing this? Was she really going to give up her own life so that Kikyo can live again? Probably, she hasn't been thinking straight lately.

"You must touch the ice." It said. "That is all."

She looked at them in disbelief. "What?" she asked. "Is this some kind of joke? What kind of test is this?" she asked confused. "There's got to be something else to it."

"You're right." It said. "We will see if you are strong enough to save this miko's life. If not then you will freeze yourself. Did our messenger tell you that?" it asked.

Kagome nodded. "Yeah, it did." She said shakily. She gulped. "What will happen if I touch the ice?" if touching the ice was going to be painful then she thanked everyone that she didn't touch the other pillars of ice.

It paused for awhile before answering. "We cannot tell you that." It said. "For this is a test of your strength, courage and determination. You may not be allowed help."

Kagome breathed in a huge breath of air. It was icy to her lungs and it almost choked her. She let it out slowly but it didn't ease the pain. When she let it out it felt like a rusty saw was scrubbing against the inside of her throat. "Fine." She said again. "Let's just get this over with."

She turned to the pillar once again and stared at Kikyo's impassive face. Questions she hadn't thought of before were skimming in her brain. What if Kikyo didn't want to live anymore? That question certainly didn't pop into her head when she came here. Why would it come now? She stared at her for a bit longer before speaking. "Kikyo." She said as if her order would wake her up. "Do you want to be free?" she asked sadly. "Do you want to live?"

Kikyo didn't move. She didn't even draw breath. All the colour had drained from her features and she seemed like a lifeless sculpture.

There was an eerie silence, which Kagome let happen. She thought if she waited long enough then Kikyo might be able to wake up to answer her question. A few more moments went by and Kagome tried again. "Will you wake up for a few seconds?" she asked. "This is important. Do you want me to sacrifice myself so you can live?"

Again no answer. Kagome took that for a yes. She didn't really care about Kikyo's opinion anyway. She made up her mind a long time ago and there was no changing it. She stepped closer towards the almost done pillar and walked close enough for reach. It was only then did she think about this again.

What about Shippo? What about her family? Did she really want to leave them behind so that she could let an undead corpse live? And what about Inuyasha? Right now she knew that Inuyasha would care if she was gone forever. He wouldn't be jumping for joy at the news, he'd be as miserable as she was when he left her. Kagome knew him well enough to know that he cared.

But he made her do this didn't he? He loves Kikyo more than he loved her. He should be at least bit happy that she was gone. Besides, Inuyasha left her and she was already as miserable as a potato. She'd do anything to get out of it.

Kagome stared at Kikyo's face once more, tears glittering from her eyes. "Take care of them for me okay Kikyo?" she asked in a choked sob. She denied herself from crying. "Please take care of Shippo and Inuyasha." We're her final words as she made contact with the ice and the palm of her hand.

0o0

A single touch can warm

But a single touch can also freeze

0o0

They were nearly there. Inuyasha could smell Kagome's scent get stronger. It has been two days since they ventured out and they found themselves in a forest. Miroku and Sango were on big Kirara as they followed Inuyasha. The group hadn't rested in days and it was taking its toll on the humans. Inuyasha, though, wasn't one bit tired. His eyes were always alert and his senses were always on overdrive. He'd find Kagome before it's too late.

He jumped from branch to branch as the others followed closely behind him. The further they went the deeper they found themselves in Icy Forest. 'I'll find you Kagome.' He vowed to himself. 'We'll find you before it's too late-'

Suddenly Inuyasha was flown back as if he had just hit a wall. He came hurtling back and hit a strong and steady tree. He slumped to the ground with a grunt and the others surrounded him in worry and curiosity. "What happened Inuyasha?" Sango asked angrily yet sleepily. The constant nagging and restlessness of the hanyou had gotten her grumpy. That and because he wouldn't let them sleep. "Now you decide to take a nap? What about Kagome?"

Inuyasha growled as he stood up. "Something's stopped me from passing." He said as he walked away from them and to the place where he collided. "There's something here…" Inuyasha reached out with a clawed hand and reached out for the air. When he reached a certain point the air made a slight glow and rejected Inuyasha's hand back. He growled and held his hand with his other hand. "It's a shield!" he cursed.

Miroku stepped up beside him and reached for the air himself. Nothing happened to him. "Perhaps this is a demon spell." He said. "Lady Kaede did say it was sacred ground, it must repel demons."

He growled with irritation. "Then I'll undo the damn shield!" he said as he sheathed his mighty sword- the Tetsusaiga. "Out of my way! Tetsusaiga!" he yelled as be brought his sword down on the barrier with all his might. Surprisingly, the Steel Fang bounced off the barrier as it gave an even brighter glow in contact. The shield was barely damaged. "What the heck?" Inuyasha said. "The Tetsusaiga can't break the damn shield? I thought Naraku's shields were the most powerful and I could break them down easily. What's going on?!" he asked angrily.

"It means that this shield is stronger than Naraku's dumb-ass." Sango hissed. "You can't break it with just your sword; it needs to grow far stronger."

Inuyasha glared at her. "And where do you suppose we do that?" he asked sarcastically. "Where do you suppose we'll find the time?" he growled angrily.

"Listen, Inuyasha. We can still help Kagome. You just have to stay here and we humans can go. Alright?" Sango said demandingly.

Inuyasha growled stubbornly. "I'm not just going to sit here and wait for you guys to come back!" he marched up to the shield again, his sword sheathed. "I'm going to come whether you let me or not!" he said as he walked up to the shield. He touched it and it tried to repel Inuyasha back but Inuyasha pushed on. Static started to sprout out of him as he walked through with great difficulty. 'I promised I'll get you back Kagome and nothing's going to stop me!' he thought determinedly as he marched on.

The shield started to protest in the passing of the half-breed. It started to crack and sizzle on his skin and he gave short grunts of pain. Inuyasha's golden orbs were alive with determination. He was a half-breed after all. He didn't want be a full demon anymore. Being half wasn't all that bad. He could still beat up a couple hundreds of full demons easily. And if he were a full demon now then he wouldn't be able to go this far without being purified right? 'Hang on Kagome…' he said.

Sango and Miroku thought he could handle the barrier well enough to reach Kagome without passing out. "Kirara, you stay here." Sango ordered. "You can't pass it since you're a full demon. We'll be right back okay?"

Kirara turned into a small version on herself and mewed. Miroku smiled. "Take care, Kirara!" he said as they headed towards the struggling Inuyasha with no difficulties at all. It was kind of odd as they walked with Inuyasha. While he struggled to take a step they went by with no troubles. "You need help there Inuyasha?" Miroku asked.

Inuyasha growled despite himself. He did need help. The shield was getting stronger the further they went. It was getting harder for him to breathe as more sparks tried to push him back out. "Can't you do something to ease this Miroku?" he asked.

Miroku got out one of his pray beads and gave it to Inuyasha. "Hold these." He said. "They have a holy spell on them. They will repel some of the shield's power against you."

Inuyasha accepted the purple beads without a word of thanks and wrapped it around his wrist. Immediately he could feel the shield's power begin to weaken around him. It was still hard for him to move but at least this way it was easier. "Thanks." he mumbled after awhile. "We have to get there fast."

Inuyasha attempted to run but he realized there was no need to. As they walked deeper into the forest they noticed the slow change of scenery. As they walked they noticed that the air around them was getting colder with each passing step. The trees were beginning to freeze over and a thick mist was upon them. "We must be close." Sango implied.

Inuyasha nodded. He didn't need his nose to know that Kagome was somewhere near. He had a gut feeling that she wasn't far away. The mist and light fog started to get thicker and Miroku and Sango had to travel more slowly in order not to fall. Inuyasha kept up with his normal speed, his demonic eyes could see far better than humans. "Don't be too long." Inuyasha called. "I'll be going ahead." He said as he walked farther and farther away from the two, slow humans.

'Kagome how could you be so stupid?' he pondered as he walked. 'Why would you try and leave me like that? Even if Kikyo's life was in danger? You could have told me or even the others so that we could work out a better way together. Who knows? I could've just killed those sprites and you wouldn't need to kill yourself.' He thought angrily. 'And they call me stupid.'

Inuyasha's skin began to crawl. It was getting closer to freezing every step he took. Did Kagome really come this far by herself? It surprised him that they encountered no demons on the way or human either.

The illusion was slowly fading as Inuyasha reached an opening to the deep, icy forest. His heart almost skipped a beat, as he knew Kagome was close- very close. He almost ran to the opening with his heart beating like a drum. 'Kagome, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome…' he chanted through his head. 'I'm almost with her again!' the thought of seeing her after all this time nearly choked him with anticipation. 'Please be there!' he thought triumphantly as he leaped through the opening.

Before he could take in anything else he saw a figure standing in a distance. His heart almost sang with joy as he confirmed who it was. '"Kagome!" He called out loudly so that she could hear but then he saw something that he never wanted to see before. His eyes opened wide when she turned to face him.

Then something happened that made him want to scream out crying…

0o0

A man can forgive a woman for the harm she has done to him

But he can never forgive her for the sacrifices she makes on his account

0o0

Kagome touched the ice that surrounded Kikyo and she almost screamed out in pain. It wasn't freezing, it was beyond that. She could feel the massive spiritual energy inside it, trapped within a thick layer of ice and trying to come out desperately through her. She squeezed her eyes shut as if to block out the pain but it didn't go away. She tried to pull her hand away but it was stuck on the ice like glue. The coldness of the ice was like thousands of needles through her very being.

She squeezed her eyes so tight that she saw spots in her vision. 'W-What's happening to me?' she asked as the pain continually went through her body in massive power waves, getting bigger with each and every push. 'What's happening?!'

She started to see things then. She saw the first time she went through the well with that centipede youkai. She saw the scene where she first met Inuyasha and the time he tried to kill her. She saw the place where they had met Shippo and had beaten the Thunder Brothers. Sango and Miroku then appeared with smiling yet sad faces. 'Am I dying?' Kagome thought.

Then she finally saw images of Naraku and Kagura. Sesshomaru and that little girl he was always with. She saw Kaede and her family. She finally saw the image of Kikyo, staring coldly at her with a black background. 'Kikyo?' she thought. The image stayed and Kikyo continued to stare at her with cold and resentful eyes.

Another wave of energy rocked through her little body and she cried out in pain. Images of Inuyasha flashed before her eyes. All their fights, all their arguments, all their hardships together. Looking back on those days Kagome questioned why she loved him in the first place. Suddenly scenes of Inuyasha and her bonding flashed. All their make-ups, their jokes, the times when Inuyasha protected her. All the times that they had grown to come closer to each other and trust each other just a little bit more. She remembered why now. He was a good soul, a good heart. He changed so much in the time she had known him and she wondered if it were she that made him change for the better.

And then she saw him and Kikyo with each other and the hurt she felt then rushed through her along with the waves of energy. She could feel her tears gathering in her closed eyelids. She loved him. She loved him so much. That's why she's doing this. So he could be happy with the one he loves.

Suddenly a voice came out to her. It sounded too distant and croaky that Kagome didn't know whom it was. "But he's run off with Kikyo." It said harshly. "He had left you all alone in this cruel world with no one else. How could you sacrifice yourself in order to make him happy after all the things he's done to you?"

That was easy. Because she loved him. If she loved him then all she could see was the good side. The gentle and soft side he has. She knew that the words he said back then were forced. He could never be that mean to her. Not in a million years. Kagome had known him long enough to find that little detail out.

"Then what about Kikyo?" it coaxed. "She's already dead and she's nothing more then clay with a bit of life in it. She tried to kill you. She tried to kill Inuyasha. Do you really think she should go on living if she had done so many horrible things in the past?"

Everyone deserved a second chance; even Kikyo. Besides, Kagome knew that the Kikyo she met was not the real her. She was driven back to this life because of her hate and vengeance. But we all knew that she was fooled. Everyone was fooled including Inuyasha. It was Naraku that made her this way. He changed her for the worst and she shouldn't be punished for something she had no idea of. Kikyo deserved another chance.

"So you'd kill yourself in order to save the both of them from misery?"

'No.' she thought. 'Not kill myself but give up for them. As long as they're happy then I'm happy. There's nothing else to say about that. I love Inuyasha and I will do anything in my power to make him happy.'

There was a slight pause before the voice spoke out again. "You pass."

The voice faded and the pain increased. Her eyes snapped wide open, tears spilling out from her eyes. She let them fall down freely. It was wrong for her to keep them in like she did. She did care and not caring hurt her more. Tears of an unnamed emotion spilled from her eyes as the pillar in front of her defrosted slowly. She retracted her hand from it and as soon as she did the ice started to melt faster as Kikyo's body began to lower.

It was as if the tears she was spilling eased her pain. She felt no more pain anymore. She felt free to let all this out. She felt free that she wasn't holding in this feeling. She felt as free as a bird, just like when she had the vision. She felt no pain. She felt no sadness. She had seen all of them in the flash and it seemed like her debt was paid. All that suffering and sadness were replaced by love and hope. The weight she had was not there anymore. She was free.

Kikyo's pillar defrosted and she lay on the ground, wet and soggy, but alive. Her chest moved up and down slowly as her eyes fluttered open. She glanced up at Kagome with confused and tired eyes.

That moment of bliss was gone. She was pulled back into reality that she was about to die. She was about to be in the same position Kikyo was in except this time it will be forever. She gave her a sad smile. "You're okay now right Kikyo?" she asked silently. All her senses were coming back. All her fears and worries and all her pain and suffering. The moment where she didn't feel any of them felt like a dream to Kagome. It was like it never happened. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Kikyo watched her blankly as she saw Kagome's tears crusade down her cheeks. Her entire body was wet and so were her clothes. In this icy forest she was freezing to the bone. "Why did you… do that?" she asked breathlessly.

Kagome continued to cry. "I wanted you to have another chance Kikyo," she said. "You deserved it." She snapped off the nearly completed Shikon Jewel from around her neck and threw it on the ground next to Kikyo. "Complete it." she said. "You owe me that much."

Kikyo stared at her with both sadness and anger. "What were you thinking?" she asked harshly yet her own eyes were sad. "Why did you do that? Why must you always meddle into things?" she stared at Kagome intently and saw the love and recognition in her chocolate orbs. "This is about Inuyasha, isn't it?" she asked. She didn't wait for an answer for she already knew it. "Kagome, you know I can't be with him. I am not alive and he is. We can't be together. Only you and he can." Her eyes filled up with sadness. "It was your destiny, why did you have to against it?"

Kagome knew a lot of things about destiny and she knew that it wasn't right. "Kikyo, Inuyasha loves you." She said. "He said so himself. Please don't turn him down or else he'll have no one else to turn too." She said quietly. "And as for destiny… well both you and I know I don't work with destiny very well. I always fight it."

Kikyo shook her head sadly. "You're a fool, Kagome Higurashi."

Kagome gave a weak smile. "Maybe we all are." She said. "Maybe we all are." She repeated.

Suddenly they all heard a voice in the distance. "Kagome!" a familiar voice cried.

Kagome turned slowly by the sound of her own name. She didn't need to turn to know who it was. How could she block out a voice that she'd know anywhere? She turned slowly and met Inuyasha's gaze. Her tears fell more rapidly at the sight of him.

Before she could even say his name the earth started to rumble beneath her. Not a moment later thick ice burst from the ground and consumed Kagome like a giant jaw from deep within the earth.

"No!" Inuyasha cried out as he ran towards her. 'No! I'm too late!' he ran faster. Hoping with all his might that he was wrong.

But he wasn't wrong.

A giant pillar was where Kagome once stood. It was a giant pillar made out of solid ice, towering like a thick pencil above all the rest. Kagome was trapped inside it. Her expression sad and a bit shocked. The tears that once flowed were frozen in time, unable to truly fall. Her chocolate brown eyes were different from the rest of the others. Hers was actually alive with emotion for she didn't die and get resurrected like the others. They held a raging storm inside, now frozen in a thick block of ice. Her eyes still held unshed tears she didn't have time to release. Her hair flowed nicely behind her but was now never able to fall again. Her hand was reaching out to Inuyasha but halted mid-way. Her mouth was only slightly opened for she was about to call his name.

She was frozen. Frozen for all eternity.

Inuyasha ran towards her like a raging bull, not caring about the shield's power as it cracked around him, trying to purify his soul. "Kagome!" he called out. 'Please no! Damn it no!' he pleaded as he advanced the ice pillar.

But then the sprites blocked his path with a furious yet satisfied look on their visible faces. "You're too late half-breed." The one with the grayish cloak said. "She's ours for all eternity. Nothing will be able to save her now."

Inuyasha growled deeply within his chest. "Get out of my way." He ordered. "Now!"

They all snickered. "It doesn't matter." One said. "You will not be able to free her. Ever." And with that they backed up behind the mist, disappearing into it as they left the trio behind. "Know her fate, Half-breed." The leader said before it left. "You will not be able to get her back." It said before it finally disappeared with the others.

Inuyasha didn't give a damn about what they had to say. He raced up towards the giant pillar freely. The shield was gone. Was it because those sprites let it down or was it because this part or the forest didn't get affected by the shield? Those questions were shoved to the back of his mind as he ran to Kagome. He stopped as soon as he was in front of the giant pillar. His eyes scanned the pillar with disbelief and utter sadness.

There, he saw a frozen Kagome. The one he loved was now forever trapped within an ice prison. But no, Inuyasha was not one to accept that. He drew out his Tetsusaiga and it transformed into the Steel Fang. "Kaze no Kizu!" he yelled as he brought down the sword on the pillar.

The sword hit the ice pillar and a huge bang and lights emitted from it. The sudden light temporarily blinded Kikyo and Inuyasha for it was illuminated by all the ice and mist. Inuyasha grunted as waves of air came from that direction and he closed one eye. 'Please let this work!' he pleaded.

A few moments passed before the light faded and the sound was no more than the rushing wind. The wind suddenly died as Inuyasha and Kikyo stared at the ice pillar.

It didn't have one scratch.

The Tetsusaiga reverted back to its old and rusty state and was dropped to the ground with a clang. The sound echoed in this ghostly place and Inuyasha stood in disbelief at the still intact pillar, trapping the one he loved forever inside it. "No…" he mouthed. Kagome didn't move an inch. It was like nothing had happened. Her face was still in the same expression and the ice pillar didn't even break a crack.

He stared at her face. For days he had wished to see it again and this is the only thing she will show from now on. Pain and suffering. He would never be able to see her smiling face or the sound of her voice of laughter. He would never be able to eat the dirt whenever she said 'sit' and will never have a reason to return to her time.

Inuyasha couldn't believe this was happening. For so long he wanted to see her again and this is what happens. He regretted ever saying mean things to Kagome. He regretted insulting her in anyway. He regretted making her suffer and hurt. He regretted the last words he ever said to her.

"Kikyo. I love Kikyo. Never you."

How he wished he never said those words. If he didn't then maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't have happened. He would do anything to have Kagome back. Anything.

And for the first time since his mother died, a single tear ran down his face. 'Kagome, I love you.'

Kikyo sat there quietly as the emotions Inuyasha felt flashed onto his face. Her face remained cold but her eyes told otherwise. Her reincarnation taking her place like that shed her some light. All she ever did to the girl was cause her grief yet she does this in order for Inuyasha and her to have a chance to be happy. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha." She tried to make her voice as calm as usual but it came out choked and uncertain.

Inuyasha didn't hear her though. His mind was too caught up in Kagome. 'Why did you do this wench?' he asked angrily. 'Why did you have to leave me? You promised! You freaking promised that you'd stay with me!' another tear fell down and he wiped it furiously away. 'But I'm no better am I?' he thought bitterly. 'I didn't even keep my own promise not to hurt you,'

Then something touched his shoulder and he finally acknowledged Kikyo. She was standing up, dripping wet. If she was cold then she didn't show it. "I'm sorry." She said again.

Inuyasha shook his arm away from hers. Not rudely or violently, just to let her know that he didn't want to be touched right now. "It's not your fault." He said quietly. Even his voice was failing him. "You weren't the one who drove her to do this." He glared angrily at the frozen grass beneath them. "I was the one."

Kikyo shook her head. "You know that was not true Inuyasha." She said. Her voice was so out of character. She actually spoke like she cared. "Kagome did it in her own free will. She wanted you to be happy."

Inuyasha's head jerked up and his teary eyes glared at the frozen miko in front of them. "Happy?" he repeated angrily. "Happy? You call this happy Kagome? If this is your version of happy then I would love to see what your version of sad was!" he growled angrily at her.

Kagome did not reply to that. If she could, Inuyasha thought, she may have sat him by now. "How can you do this Kagome?" he asked. "This wasn't what I wanted!"

Kikyo sighed and crouched. She scooped up the forgotten jewel and held it in her palm. "No one ever gets what they truly want." She said. "Making you happy was what she wanted Inuyasha but can't you see that you're not? Life's like that; unfair."

"Then life's a bitch." Inuyasha growled. He wouldn't believe it. He lost Kagome… forever. "Isn't there anyway that we could save Kagome?" he asked Kikyo. "There has to be a way! There's always a way."

She shook her head again. "That saying; where there's a will, there's a way. Do you know that Inuyasha? Well I'm afraid that's not true. Sometimes you can't change anything, even if you try your hardest. And this is one of the things. No one could break through the ice once it's sealed."

He growled. "Well I'm not like you Kikyo!" he growled. "I actually want to believe in that saying. I will not let Kagome go!"

"It's not like you'll have a choice." She said coldly. "This realm won't stay here forever. It will vanish soon and we'll be back in the forest once more."

He stared at her confusion written on his face. "I thought the forest was just an illusion." He said.

She shook her head again. "This is the realm of the damned Inuyasha." She said. "Not hell but one especially for humans like me. It won't stay here forever. It will only appear when there is another soul to be captured. It won't be long now until it fades away again."

Inuyasha shook his head stubbornly. "Well I'm not going to let that happen!" he swore.

She sighed. "I'm afraid it's already happening Inuyasha."

No sooner did she say that, the mist started to grow hazier, thicker. Inuyasha could barely see through the mist. "Kagome!" he called out. It was like she was fading away. "No Kagome! Come back!" the mist clouded his vision and he could tell that the other pillars were already disappearing. He searched frantically to try and keep an eye on Kagome's pillar. "Where are you?" he asked out loud.

He saw her then. In that giant block of ice. He reached out to touch it but the moment he did the ice started to disappear into mist. As it slowly made its way to the top, mist was created where it had vanished. "No!" he yelled. He tried to grab for it but it was already too late. The pillar had disappeared along with the others. The mist was as thick as ever and the only sound was Inuyasha's terrified voice shouting out. "Kagome!!"

The mist started to clear and Inuyasha and Kikyo found themselves in a normal forest, no ice what so ever. The trees were a healthy green and the sun was able to actually reach the forest floor. His not transformed sword was on the ground in front of him. Inuyasha stood there wide-eyed as his mouth moved to form the words: 'No, no, no, no, no, no, no.' the sunlight glares hit his eyes and he was snapped back to reality. Only he wished he didn't. "NO!!" he yelled out as if the whole world could here him.

"Inuyasha!" a voice called from behind them. "Where are you?" it sounded so much like Sango's voice.

Kikyo turned to Inuyasha with a solemn face. "I've got to go Inuyasha." She said with a sorrowful look. "I still need souls to feed on if I don't want to visit that place again. I'm sorry." She started to walk away but Inuyasha spoke to her.

"Please Kikyo." He pleaded in a monotone. "Please help me find a way to save Kagome."

She stared at him with a sorrowful face. "I'll try Inuyasha. I'll try to bring her back to you."

Inuyasha looked at her with tears spilling from his eyes. "I love her Kikyo." He said. "Please get her back. I'll do anything. Please help me save her."

Kikyo nodded her head. "I'll do everything in my power to try and help you on your quest." She said truthfully.

Inuyasha nodded and wiped the tears away. "Thank you, Kikyo."

Kikyo shook her head sadly, her usual cold look back. "You're a fool Inuyasha." She said. But she thought of the words Kagome had said to her. "Then again," she said. "Maybe we're all fools." She said before her Soul Collectors came out of her and she vanished into the air.

As soon as she left Inuyasha slumped to the ground on his knees. He sucked up all the unshed tears and took a deep breath. 'Kagome's gone… but I'll get her back. I'm sure of it.' he vowed.

"Inuyasha! Are you there?" a voice that sounded like Miroku asked.

He ignored them and continued to stare at the ground with a blank face. "I'll get you back to me Kagome." He vowed. "Even if it's the last thing I'll do." Were the last words he said before he fell to the ground, falling into a deep and tiring sleep.

0o0

August

0o0

September

0o0

October

0o0

November

0o0

December

0o0

It has been many months since I last saw Kagome. I can't really remember because I don't bother to count. I miss her so much. Shippo was devastated when he heard the news. The runt hasn't been the same since and neither have Sango, Miroku and Kaede. But then again not much could be said about me either.

You know who I am. I'm Inuyasha. I got shot by an arrow and pinned to the Goshinboku by my former love. Looking back on those days I realize how much I needed Kagome. She was like food; I needed her on a daily basis. Whenever she would return to her time I always hated it. It was like I wasn't eating on those days. Feh, you're probably smiling now because I haven't seen her in months and you think I'm as thin as a twig for starving. But it isn't my stomach that's starving, it was my heart.

Why did Kagome have to do the thing she did? I think it was the most stupid thing anyone could do. Sango and Miroku keep saying that it was because she had a good reason. But even if she did she wasn't really considerate of our feelings. Or maybe she was and felt really, really bad about it afterwards. That's probably it.

I can remember Kagome perfectly. Her long, raven hair, her chocolate brown eyes. Her warm smile that always seemed to brighten up the room and the smell of her tears whenever she cried. I could still remember the way she sent pleasures down my spine whenever she laughed at something I did or when she scowled at me and sat me. I miss the warmth of her touch, the sound of her voice. Heck, I miss everything about her.

The entire group has been trying to find away to rescue Kagome for months. But after awhile they gave up in a way. They didn't hold enough determination and their spirits were low. They started to believe that she really was gone. When they said that I yelled at them. And boy did I yell at them. Everyone was actually frightened by me at the end of it.

I haven't given up hope though. If it were Kikyo or anyone else I might have but this was Kagome. And do you know how I haven't gone crazy these past months? That I haven't committed suicide because of my depression? Somehow she was able to keep me going. That's a sign that there's a way to save her from the frozen hell. You want to know how she's helping me?

Well that's because I have dreams of her. Not nightmares, never nightmares. She always gave me pleasant dreams. She would always be there to comfort me and I let myself be comforted by her. It was the only time I feel secure and safe. It was the only time when I feel like there are no worries at all. My dreams were my only break from the harsh world.

And yes, I do know it's just a dream but I still hold it dear to me. If she stopped coming then I would probably go mad and end up killing everyone; maybe even myself. She was my solitude and if you take her away then you have one really mad and pissed hanyou coming your way.

I don't say anything to her in my dreams and that's because I know what they are; just dreams. I could repeat myself over and over again but it wouldn't matter. She wouldn't be able to hear me where she is. Or can she? Sometimes I wonder if it was really her when I dream. She seems so real.

And no, I am not insane- yet.

Anyway, I haven't heard news from Kikyo yet either. I haven't seen her since that day and it's really getting me worried. But what I'm even more worried about is how Kagome's family going. I can't travel through the well anymore so I couldn't tell them the news. I often wondered if they miss her or are they sad and grieving but I know those are stupid questions. Of course they miss her. Everyone does.

And jewel hunting has been put off. Kikyo has kept the jewel and I let her. I didn't want anything to do with it anymore. If I wanted power before then I don't want it now. What's the point in having it if you have no one to protect? We still go after Naraku though. Damn bastard. He's still alive but we're tracking him down while we look for clues on how to save Kagome.

None of us were the same without her. Sango has been more violent and angry and Miroku has been less perverted and tempered. Shippo has been depressed and sulky while Kaede has been sad and glum. But I should say when I'm the worst out of all of them. I haven't been eating much and I don't get up too often. I hardly ever fight anymore, only if necessary. I have been sulky and angry for no reason and I confine myself even more from the world. It's not like I care anyway. I don't want anything to do with the damn world.

Because the world doesn't hold Kagome now does it?

Kagome. It seems like everything revolves around that wench. I wish I can find a way to have her back with me. I'll do anything just to say what I feel for her. She didn't deserve the last words I ever said to her, not one bit of it. It gives me nightmares just to think about it. But I'll do it though. I'll find Kagome again and I'll tell her what I truly feel. I'd be damned if I die before that happens…

0o0

The promises you make to yourself

Is like a Japanese plum tree-

They bear no fruit

0o0

Inuyasha was lying on the Goshinboku and was staring out to the stars dreamily. He always wondered if any being on earth could reach up and touch them. He certainly didn't know any that could. He stared at the moon lazily and wondered if people could go on it. It seemed close enough; well it seemed closer than the stars anyway. He also remembered that Kagome once told him that people did land on the moon in her time. She said that they went into giant spaceships and sailed out to space and landed on the moon. Inuyasha thought she was crazy and would've done anything to argue about that. But at this very moment he wished more than anything just to see her face again- in real life.

He sighed. A soft and sad sigh. He noticed his been doing that a lot lately. He stood up from the tree and stretched. It was already far into the night yet he was still awake and energetic. Although seeing Kagome in his dreams were a real comfort it sometimes saddened him. It saddened him to know that it was just a dream and it wasn't real. She wouldn't be there when he woke up.

He jumped down the tree and started walking towards no where in particular. His usual blazing golden orbs were nothing but a dull yellow colour. It turned like that after the first days Kagome was captured. If she didn't appear in his dreams then he figured that they'd be a nice pale yellow colour with hardly any emotions in them. They'd look like death had taken him from within.

As he walked he smelt a familiar scent. His eyes grew even duller when he realized who it was. He must have fallen asleep and didn't know it. The scent had a rich flower smell to it and it was mixed with vanilla and fruits. Inuyasha would know that scent anywhere. 'Kagome…'

He walked towards the scent. He couldn't help it. She was his only solitude and if he avoids her he would slowly grow to be insane. If he left her then what if she never comes back again? He couldn't let that happen. Not again.

He saw her finally standing with her back towards him. She was staring out at the moon as she stood there in the empty plain full of wild flowers at ankle length. Her raven hair swayed lightly as the wind blew on her face and her school uniform was as clean as the last time he saw it when she was in the ice. Her hands were locked together at her back and she held a peaceful pose. A peaceful and calm one.

Inuyasha walked towards her and stood behind her. She didn't move. Inuyasha knew that she knew he was there. She always did whenever she was in his dreams. "Kagome." He whispered to her.

She didn't move around to turn him. She never did lock her eyes with his. If she did want to do that then he'll just wake up suddenly without ever seeing them. Inuyasha could never see her brown orbs even if he wished it. He would always wake up before they actually see each other and those were the times where he always woke up grumpy or sulky, well more grumpy and sulky anyway.

Inuyasha stepped up behind her and draped his arms around Kagome's shoulder. He laid his chin on her head and took in her scent. It was oddly real. Inuyasha could feel his lungs breathing in and out slowly, as if he were calm; and he was. Being able to hold Kagome like this was like a dream come true; if only it wasn't an actual dream. "I didn't know I'd see you tonight." He said softly. "I thought I wasn't asleep."

Once again she said nothing, stiff as a rock under his hold. Inuyasha grew puzzled. She'd never stay quiet. She would always at least say one thing when he was here. "What's wrong?" he asked.

This time she talked. "I missed you Inuyasha." She said in a quiet voice.

Inuyasha's eyes widened a little bit. Did she mean what she said or did she say that because he wanted her to say that? "What do you mean?" he asked. "I saw you last night."

Kagome turned her head around as if to see his face. Surprisingly she did. "What are you talking about?" she asked, her brown orbs confused.

Saying Inuyasha was awestruck would have been an understatement. He could actually see her eyes! They were making eye contact and he hadn't woken up yet. It had been such a long time since Inuyasha had seen her eyes. The last time was when she was in the ice pillar and staring blankly at him with pain. But this time it was different. Her chocolate orbs were full of a different emotion, confusion and worry. Inuyasha's eyes widened as he actually looked into them. Was this really happening? Why hadn't he woken up yet? Seeing her eyes so full of life once again made his heart leap. There was something about this dream that made his stomach churn. "Y-You're making eye contact with me." He stated softly.

Kagome lifted her hand up and touched Inuyasha's cheek with her palm. "Why is that so extraordinary?" she asked. "We always make eye contact. Are you sick in any way?" she asked worriedly.

As soon as Inuyasha felt the warmth in her hand he placed his own hand over hers. He wrapped his fingers around it and gave a content sigh as the warmth of her passed through his skin. She was never this warm. Never in his dreams anyway. When she was actually with him he'd feel this kind of warmth. Did that mean anything? "What kind of question is that?" he asked. His eyes were still open as he stared at Kagome's own eyes. He was afraid that if he blank then he would lose her again. "You know I'm sick." He said sadly.

Kagome scanned her eyes over him worriedly. "You're sick?" she asked. "Of what?"

He sighed again. "Because you're not here with me in real life." He said. "When I wake up you won't be there anymore. It makes me sick that you're not there."

Kagome's eyes softened as they gathered up tears. She took her hand away from his and embraced the hanyou gently yet firmly. "I missed you so much Inuyasha." She sobbed. "I thought I'd never see you again."

Inuyasha was surprised when he smelt the scent of tears. Why was she crying? She never cried in his dreams. She knew that made him feel bad. He wrapped his arms around her petite frame and combed her raven hair. It was so silky and smooth, just like the last time he actually felt them. "Don't cry Kagome." He said.

"Inuyasha." She said uncertainly. "You're not acting so happy to see me again." She sobbed sadly.

Inuyasha was shocked yet again. He pulled back a little just to see her face. Her eyes held so many emotions in them but the one that stood out was sadness. "What do you mean?" he asked. "I've seen you most nights. What's the matter with you?"

"Most nights?" Kagome asked confused.

"In my dreams remember?" Inuyasha frowned. "Like this one."

Suddenly Kagome blushed at this and looked down at the ground. "Y-You've been d-dreaming about me?" she stuttered.

Okay something was going on. Inuyasha stared at her suspiciously. "Aren't you the dream Kagome?" he asked.

Kagome stared up at him with rosy cheeks. "Inuyasha…" she said softly with tears in her eyes. "It's me. It's really me."

Well, Inuyasha was baffled to say the least. "W-Wha-?" he stuttered.

Kagome gave him a sweet little smile. A tear ran down her face. "It's me Inuyasha. Please believe it." she gave him a hug. A sweet, big, heartfelt hug.

Inuyasha was too shocked to move. He didn't move when she wrapped her arms around him. He didn't move when he felt her crying on his chest. Heck, he didn't move at all. His eyes were wide and his breath was caught in his throat. Was this really her? The girl he had been searching for all these months just randomly coming to him at the dead of night?

He didn't know to be honest. He could be just wishing that she were saying that. Just wishing with all his might that the real Kagome were here right now with him. Inuyasha's eyes saddened. Maybe he was just imagining all of this. Maybe he was just so insane with losing Kagome that he could see her right in front of him. Maybe he was just delusional. He sighed. "No, Kagome." He said. "You can't be here. That's because I haven't done anything to save you yet. I'm still looking but I haven't found a clue. You're just a dream. My imagination. I'm just wishing for you to be right here now." He said sadly as he backed away from her.

Kagome watched as he took a step back from her. Suddenly she felt herself frown. "Is that what you think Inuyasha?" she asked. "Well I'll just have to prove it to you. I'm really Kagome you baka." She began to think of a way to convince him. She saw the disbelieving expression on his face and she grew angry at his lack of belief. She kept thinking of a way to prove she was the real Kagome.

Suddenly Kagome's eyes locked on to Inuyasha's rosary. She smirked at him. She just hoped it worked. "Osuwari." She said silently.

THUD

Inuyasha lifted his face from the dirt and stared at Kagome with bewilderment. "What?" he asked confused. He hadn't felt this pain in such a long time. It was ironic, maybe a few days ago he would have loved to get sat. 'Ha, how wrong I was…' Inuyasha thought painfully. "It still doesn't prove anything." Inuyasha stated. "I could be inflicting this pain on myself because I know I should've been sat when you said to." He said stubbornly.

Kagome almost growled at him. "That's it!" she yelled angrily. "You better start believing Inuyasha or you'll regret it!"

Inuyasha stared in awe as he saw the red flush into her cheeks. She was getting angry. Something the Kagome in his dreams never did. He shook his head stubbornly. "You can't be the real Kagome!" he yelled.

"That's it! Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!" she yelled.

THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.

"Okay!" Inuyasha yelled, his face in the dirt. "You're her! You're her! Stop doing that already wench!" he pleaded painfully. Yep, he believed it now. That was because if he didn't believe it then he would have to get more sits and that meant more pain.

Kagome sighed in relief. "Thank you!" she cried happily. She was so happy she got the point across. "That'll teach you to believe more." She said triumphantly. A few moments passed but Inuyasha didn't move from the ground. Kagome grew worried. Did he grow so used to not getting sat that his bones got weaker? Kagome grew frantic to think that she might have killed him.

She ran towards him and knelt by him. "Inuyasha? Inuyasha!" she cried in worry. She shook him weakly at first then more forcefully. He still didn't move. "Inuyasha!" she cried with tears in her eyes.

Suddenly his hand shot up and grabbed her own. Kagome gasped as he began to sit up. "Don't worry Kagome." He said. With his other arm he wiped the dirt from his face. "No wench could kill me. Especially because she repeated a single word over and over again."

Kagome smiled in relief and latched her arms around him. "I'm so sorry Inuyasha!"

This time Inuyasha had no hesitation to hug her back. It was a very tight hug. He breathed in her scent. She was alive and well. There were no signs that she was trapped in ice for the last months and there were also no signs that her blood froze. Her body emitted so much warmth that Inuyasha tried to make it his own. "Kagome." He said. He couldn't believe this. She was back. She was back with him and this time she wasn't going to let her go. "Oh, kami, Kagome."

Kagome hugged him tighter as the storms inside her eyes were finally unleashed. "I'm sorry for what I did Inuyasha." She sobbed uncontrollably. She paused for a second then continued. "But I have no regrets." She added. "Is Kikyo okay?" she asked.

Inuyasha combed her hair. This was her. It was really her. He wasn't ever going to let her go again. "Yeah." He said. "She's alright." What else was there to say? Oh yeah, the question that had been swimming around his head ever since this whole thing happened. "Why did you do that Kagome?" he asked. "Why did you sacrifice yourself just to save her?"

Kagome continued to sob on his chest. She didn't reply for awhile but she did eventually. By that time she had almost stopped crying. "I did it for you." She said softly. "I didn't want you to be unhappy because Kikyo was going to die again. I knew if she died then you would be in pieces. You do love her after all."

Inuyasha hugged her tighter. "You are the most dumbest wench I ever met." He growled angrily. "Kikyo was already dead. Sure, I might have grieved over her death but that was it. I wouldn't be suffering like I was when you were gone. I wouldn't have been running around the whole of Japan just to find a way to save her from an ice prison. I wouldn't even have dreamed once about her." He hugged her tighter still. "You're the one I love Kagome. Losing you made my heart break." He said quietly. "My whole world shattered to pieces not just me."

Kagome's tears poured out once again like a fountain. "I love you too Inuyasha." She admitted. "But I can't stay with you like this forever." She sobbed.

Inuyasha's eyes widened. He was going to lose her again? There isn't a chance in the entire world! "What?!" he asked enraged. "You're going to leave again?" he growled.

Kagome made hushing noises yet she too was sad and angry. "Yes." She said. "This is only a visit."

Inuyasha's arms tightened around her waist. "What happened?" he asked/growled. "What happened when you were in the ice?"

Kagome sighed sadly. "Nothing." She said. "Absolutely nothing. It was like going to sleep. Time goes by without you even knowing it. It was so dark though. I couldn't feel anything but a sharp pain around my body. It was like tiny needles being poked into me." Her tears fell down more rapidly from the memory. "I couldn't even talk. Couldn't move, couldn't do anything but let the pain wash over me."

Inuyasha began to rock her. "Well I'm not letting you go back in there." he said with a growl. "They'll have to fight me before that happens."

Kagome shook her head slightly as she used her arms to wipe away her tears. "Do you know what eternity means Inuyasha?" she asked. "It means forever. It won't stop even though the world comes to an end. That also means I can't get out of it." she said sadly.

"Then why are you here?" Inuyasha growled. "If you're here in the flesh, right here with me, then there's a chance for me to get you permanently out of that ice prison."

Once again Kagome shook her head. "I'm only here for tonight Inuyasha." She said sadly. "We are allowed one last visit to the person we love and that's it. This will be the only time I will be allowed to come out of the ice."

Inuyasha tightened his hold on her as if it could stop her from leaving. "No." he said flatly. "You are not going back."

"I have no choice." Kagome sighed sadly. "I'm sorry Inuyasha."

Suddenly Inuyasha grew angry. There was life in his eyes once again. Not that dull yellow people kept seeing but the blazing amber that everyone once knew and forgotten- well everyone except for Kagome anyway. "Why are you doing this to me?" he asked angrily. "Why visit me when you have no intention of staying? You're only making it harder for me to let it go!" he yelled. But in truth, he knew he couldn't and wouldn't ever let it go.

Kagome stared at him with sad eyes. "Would you rather I didn't come at all?" she sobbed. "Would you rather just to forget about me then see me one final time?"

Instantly Inuyasha regretted his words once again. He laid his chin on top of Kagome's head and whispered. "No. I'm sorry Kagome. I'm sorry I hurt you again. This is a dream come true. It will erase that memory of you trapped in the ice pillar with that look in your eyes." he lifted her chin so that their eyes could meet. "You still have that look though." He said sadly. "What can I do to make it stop?"

Kagome tried to make a smile but failed. "I wanted you to be happy Inuyasha." She said softly. "I did what I did so you can be happy." Her eyes filled up with sadness once more. "But you're not happy and that makes my sacrifice in vain." She sobbed. "What did I do wrong?"

Inuyasha lifted her up and set her on his lap. "You didn't do anything wrong." He said. "You just thought wrong. I love you Kagome. Please understand that. What you did was probably the most stupid thing you ever done but you did it because you wanted me to happy. In that way, I have no idea what you did wrong."

Kagome snuggled deeper into his lap and rested the back of her head on his chest. "But you're not happy." She said. "I can't be happy if you're not happy."

Inuyasha had to think about this. Of course he wanted her to be happy but to do that then he'd have to be happy too. How can he do that when the only person that made him happy was gone forever? "You're asking me to do the impossible Kagome." He said. "I can't be happy unless you're with me. And since that's impossible then that means I will never be happy."

Kagome turned half of her body around and questioned him sadly. "Then I guess I did it for nothing eh?" her eyes filled up with tears. "Gosh I'm so stupid," she cried.

Inuyasha lifted his thumb and wiped away the crusading tears. "You're not stupid." he said. "Just very, very stubborn." He teased.

This made Kagome smile a little. "Not as stubborn as you." She said. "Can't you be happy without me?" she asked.

Inuyasha sighed. "I can't do that Kagome." He said. "How could I be happy if my whole world is shattered?"

Kagome's smile vanished. "Can't you at least try?" she asked.

Inuyasha tried to make a reassuring smile but failed. "I-I'll…" he paused. Can he really try to be happy without her? Looking into her deep chocolate eyes he knew he would. He'd at least try for her sake. He pulled off that reassuring smile then. "Yeah." He said. "I'll try but that doesn't mean I have to like it." he said playfully. But on the inside it felt like he was breaking again. Breaking because he knew he would lose her and this time it will be forever. No jokes.

Kagome smiled a true smile and turned her head around and rested on his chest. They both watched the sky and saw the stars twinkling at them. "They seem so far away don't they?" she asked.

Inuyasha nodded. "They do." He said.

Not much was said after that. They just sat there, enjoying each other's company as they watched he sky. They were both just happy to be like this. They both knew that this memory will be forever etched into their hearts.

"You know," Inuyasha started, breaking the silence. "There were so many things I should have said to you." He said softly. "So many things I should've done for you but never did. I always thought 'I'd do it later. She wouldn't mind if I wait.'" He gave a soft chuckle. "Guess I was wrong huh?"

Kagome had been silently crying the whole time. She made a true smile. "That was the same with me." She said softly. "I thought that too. We were both wrong."

"What was it you wanted to say to me?" Inuyasha asked curiously.

"I always wondered." Kagome trailed. "How many times you were dropped on the head." She joked.

Inuyasha gave another chuckle. "And I always wondered if girls from your time are as naïve as you."

Kagome giggled in the first time in months. "I'm not as naïve as you though."

"You want a bet?" he smirked.

"If I did then I'd win all your money." Kagome retorted.

Inuyasha sighed and held her closer to him. He was going to miss this. Going to miss it a lot. "You know I'm sorry what I said to you that day." He said sadly. "About never loving you."

Kagome patted the arm around her. "It's alright Inuyasha." She said. "What's past is past. They all happen for a reason. Probably destiny that it happened."

Inuyasha growled. "Then I'll just have to fight with destiny in the future right?"

Kagome smiled as she recalled what she said to Kikyo back on the fateful day. "And we both know I don't work with destiny very well either."

They fell silent once again. Knowing what the other wants to say but not having the guts to say it first. They just stared up at the sky and the crescent moon above them. How they wished that this could last forever but they both learnt that good things don't last forever. They never do.

And it was at this moment that the time was going to end. One of the stars started shining brightly and Kagome stared at it with a blank face. Inuyasha thought it was beautiful but it meant the exact opposite for Kagome. "I have to go." She said as she stood up from Inuyasha's lap.

He instantly missed the warmth and stood up with her. "What?" he asked. "You're going to go now?" he could feel his voice trembling. Was this it? Was this really goodbye?

Kagome nodded sadly but she gave him a small smile. "Guess this is goodbye huh?" she asked quietly. "Thank you for all you've done for me."

As Inuyasha stared into her eyes he could see that the raging storm inside had now calmed. Her tears had been shed this very night and now her eyes could fill with a different emotion. A happier and hoping emotion.

And also, Kagome could see his own eyes regain that spark he had before. She could see his bright amber eyes showing more emotions then it ever did in the last months and she was glad for it. Surely, this visit was not in vain. It did well for the both of them.

Inuyasha stepped towards her and gave her the gentlest hug he had ever given her. It was as if he thought she might break. "I'll miss you greatly Kagome." He said softly. "And don't be surprised if I try to beat the hell out of those sprites the next time I see them." He growled.

Kagome giggled. "I wouldn't be surprised if you throw them off a cliff instead." She gave him a light hug back. "I love you Inuyasha." She whispered.

"I love you too Kagome."

And it was then that she started to glow. Inuyasha still held onto her as if he would never let go. She smiled warmly at him and he leaned down to her face, both of their eyes closed. They made contact then with their lips. Only a single second past before Inuyasha no longer felt the warmth of her body near him.

He opened his eyes slowly and found that Kagome was no longer there in front of him. The light that was emitting from her a while ago was gone. It was as if it were never there. Inuyasha could feel the sudden breeze hit his face and made his hair sway. The moon shone brightly and illuminated his golden eyes and silver hair and the star that was shining brightly was gazing down at him.

As the moon shone across his face he could hear a whispering in the breeze. "Goodbye…" it said. It held so much warmth in that one word that Inuyasha knew who spoke it.

Inuyasha closed his eyes and let the breeze cool his face. He touched his lips and savored the feeling when her lips touched his own.

Once again the breeze hit his face and the wind said its final words. "I love you…"

0o0

When we lose the one we love

Our bitterest tears are called forth

By the memory of the hours

Where we had not loved enough

0o0

Inuyasha eyes opened slowly and he found it was daytime. He shielded his eyes from the sunrays and found he was on the same tree branch he was one before. He looked up into the sky and knew what he had experienced was not a dream. He felt it in his heart.

He touched his lips once again as he stared up into the cloudless sky. He saw the star that had shone brightly; signaling that Kagome was to leave. It shone like a small flame in the darkness, a twinkling star out in the daylight, shining right at him and no one else.

He closed his eyes once more as a lone tear slid down his face. "Goodbye, Kagome. I love you."

0o0

Once again you can't fight Destiny

But it is choice

-Not chance-

That determines what it is

0o0

KazunaPikachu

[Sequel: Warmth in the Ice