A Week in Texas

By Hotlips Pierce

A/N: This is my first House fic, so please be nice!!

"But, Cuddy, I don't want to go!" Dr. Greg House whined and moaned as he paced about his boss's office.

"But, House, I don't care what you want!" mimicked said boss, Dr. Lisa Cuddy back to her favorite insolent employee. "It is one conference for one week in Texas. I need you to speak. The hospital needs you to speak. Face it, House, for better or for worse, you're good P.R."

"Face it, Cuddy, I don't care what the hospital thinks."

"Would it make you feel better if you knew that Wilson's speaking, too?"

"Oh, yes, because it's just what he and I need. A getaway just for us in the land of intolerance and ignorance," House sarcastically spat to her.

"I'll have you know that Austin, Texas, is a haven for hippie culture," Cuddy argued, leaning across her desk.

House got right in her face, "You've known me long enough to know that the one thing I hate more than unwarranted intolerance is hippies."

"Do you hear yourself when you say things like that?"

"No, I'm more like my little team in that regard. I try to tune myself out."

"Oh, that reminds me - they're going as well."

"What?! You can't take my team from me!"

"I want them to hear what these people have to say. Besides, I'm not taking them from you. You're going with them, remember?"

"People are going to die because we're not here to figure out what's wrong with them."

"Gregory House, people lived and died long before you entered this world, and they'll live and die long after you're gone. You're special, but not that special."

"Like you don't believe the hospital wouldn't fall apart if you were gone for seven whole days."

"We'll find out, won't we?"

"Huh?"

"Our flight leaves for Austin at 9 AM next Tuesday. Be at the airport by 7:30. Have a lecture prepared. If it is any shorter than twenty minutes, you'll be on constant clinic duty until Cameron is a grandmother. Now, go to the clinic, and see some patients."

"Fine, I will happily go to the clinic. You wanna know why?"

Cuddy sighed and then humored him. "Why?"

"Because it will give me a chance to work on saying, 'Howdy, partner' and 'Hey, y'all'," said House in the worst Texan accent he could muster.

He then promptly turned and limped out the door, but not before hearing Cuddy yell after him, "Cute! Do you do British, too?"