"Team seven," Iruka called. "Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto sat up slightly straighter. Finally.

"Hinata Hyuga."

"Thanks," Naruto muttered under his breath. He'd specifically asked to be partnered with Hinata. After all, she was the one who'd saved his life. They worked well together.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"What the hell?" he said out loud.

Clients Lie.

"Sasuke, break left. The cat just hid under the little bush, but Kohta is shadowing you at 5 o' clock." Naruto's voice sounded even and unhurried, but I knew what our opponents didn't: it was really Hinata, henged into him. I guess her own opponent, 'Ken', wasn't pushing her yet.

I moved left, as suggested, tossing two senbon with tiny flash bombs attached over my shoulder, and quickly set myself to cover the straightest trail leading away from the bush, should the cat try to bolt. 'Kohta' was behind a tree when I threw the senbon, so he wouldn't have seen them.

Heavy rustling in the trees to my right revealed a half dozen Narutos spreading out in a circle to heard the cat, and three more with their attention directed the opposite direction, no doubt on the watch for 'Ken'. At least one of them was Hinata, and one of them might be Naruto, just like it was just as likely they were all clones.

Abruptly, 'Hinata', and even I didn't know if it was really Naruto or just a clone, scampered along tree branches on the other side of the cat, flinging kunai at 'Kumeta', who was hot on her trail.

I couldn't get used to the stupid names Naruto came up with. All of our 'enemies' today were clones, henged into caracitures of bandits or shinobi. Their mission was to kill the cat. Our mission was to capture it, alive.

This was Naruto's solution to the problem of Kakashi-sensei frequently being off on other duties, leaving us to complete these simple D rank missions by ourselves.

Simple minded thinking from the liar.

I wouldn't have resented it nearly as much if I didn't know his clones would actually kill the cat if we failed. Fail Naruto's 'training', fail the real mission as well.

Hinata just nodded and agreed, like she always did to Naruto's suggestions, leaving me to put up with their antics.

"Flash," I said quietly into my radio, then closed my eyes and triggered the two flash bombs at the feet of my opponent. The clone reeled in shock and blindness as I darted around behind him, then plunged a kunai in his back. It disappeared with a burst of smoke.

Once, I'd stabbed Naruto that way, when he'd been hiding as a clone. The memory made me smile.

"Damn it, Sasuke!" his voice crackled over the radio. "The idea was to have to fight them the whole way!"

I smirked, pleased. But I will admit I was impressed when suddenly 'Hinata', changed course, her opponent still following, and shadowed the fleeing, paniced cat from above as her opponent threw senbon, effortlessly weaving and dodging around the needles. Only the real Hinata could do that, so how was Naruto…

Ah.

Kawarimi.

Naruto-as-Hinata had swapped places with the real Hinata, each dropping their henge as they did so, seamlessly taking the place of the other. That struck me as a really good idea, the enemy could get used to fighting one with a certain fighting style, then if he suddenly spotted a weakness or the fighting styles were a poor match, a substitution could be made, surprising the enemy with all new skills.

Damn that Naruto.

Kumeta was closing with Hinata, and I knew from previous experience that she would abide by Naruto's restrictions and not kill the clone.

So I did it for her with a flicked kunai, and kept pace to sheild her from other enemies.

"Great, Sasuke!" Naruto called.

'Great?' A moment ago he was cursing me for disrupting his plan. Show some consistency, you clanless bastard.

A split second after that, Hinata landed in front of the startled cat and snatched it from the ground with one lightning grab.

"Taju kage bushin no jutsu!"

What?!

I glanced back, and Naruto… fled? at the front of a huge pack of clones, all throwing senbon at him, a veritable hail of needles.

The first wave struck… and a moment later a log, spiked with senbon, was trampled under the feet of over three dozen clones.

I couldn't fight that many all at once. Naruto was too close to my own skill for me to take him on in numbers. But I had to keep them from reaching Hinata. I moved to intercept.

Naruto suddenly stood in my path, moving quickly enough I hadn't seen him until he emerged from behind a tree and leaped.

"Wait, Sasuke," he said, moving his left hand over his head in an 'over me' gesture. The clone army obediently leapt over us in a wave, a rainbow of Narutos, though the only colors represented were orange and black.

I glanced at him as I followed the wave moving towards Hinata.

"She's been working on something new, some family technique. This is a good time to test it," he offered, not looking at me. Together, we leapt for a good view of the upcoming fight.

I did not often interfere in his treatment of Hinata. It was their business. My own thoughts on the matter… Well. Hinata was certainly getting stronger. She could even land hits on Kakashi-sensei if he fought close.

I know Hinata saw the incoming wave of Narutos, and I believe she knew that it couldn't be good for her. I just barely caught a glimpse of her as she shoved the screaming, hissing cat inside her grey jacket and pulled on the drawstrings, temporarily trapping the cat inside as she took some sort of formal stance. Then, as the first wave of inbound senbon reached her, she seemed to blur, even to my eyes.

"Hakke Rokujuyon Sho," Naruto said quietly, sensing my interest. "Some family technique she's been working on, but she's trying to use a variation."

I didn't know what the variation was, but as I watched Hinata start slowly turning in a circle, her torso whipping like mad in all directions and her arms a windmill around her, sending senbon flying by harmlessly or deflecting them away, I marked it as something I intended to learn. Without an area effect jutsu, I'd be hard pressed to avoid that many senbon, myself.

"It's weak as defense," Naruto muttered, seeming somewhat disappointed.

Harsh. But true. She wasn't using her feet for anything but movement, and her movements were taxed as she sought to deflect the needles aimed at her legs as well. Additionally, if she was that fast, she should be catching the senbon and sending them back at the attackers. That would be a technique worth knowing.

And, slowly, kunai began to be mixed into the hundreds of senbon hurtling towards the kunoichi.

I knew Hinata was helplessly in love with Naruto. I knew he knew it as well. But unlike me, he actually returned some of her attention.

When I first met them, I thought that, despite their skills, they would be a hindrance to me, too wrapped up in pointless things like 'love' to fight. I will admit, I was wrong. Hinata followed his orders, as I knew the liar wanted me to, but she would offer up her opinons on things as well. And no one, not me, not Kakashi-sensei, was harder on her when training.

Here I stood, watching Naruto do his best to kill the girl in love with him. He'd do it, too. I had no doubt.

A smile tugged at my face as I imagined myself throwing the kunai and some of the more insistent girls who chased me in the middle of that rain of steel.

"Glad you're enjoying the show," he said mockingly.

I scowled and looked back at Hinata.

"She lost to you in less than five minutes yesterday," Naruto continued.

Five minutes, yeah. She wasn't on my level yet, though she was easily the best kunoichi to come from our class, and probably better than most of the males. Naruto… Naruto might be on my level. One of these days, I'd press the issue. I was curious how long it'd take me to beat him.

Both of our eyes widened as there was suddenly a change in the pattern of deflection. Her movements weren't as smooth, not quite as quick.

"She's taken…"

"a hit," I finished.

"She's got to improve if she's going to be anything but a set of eyes for us," Naruto said grimly. "And the quickest way to improve is to fight for your life against impossible odds."

He took a deep breath.

"DON'T LOSE, HINATA!" he shouted, and with a roar from the clones, the rain of deadly steel doubled.

Naruto wore two pouches, these days, and even with dozens and dozens of clones, he must have packed them to the very limit with senbon, which he rarely used. For training like this, it made sense. Despite his lethal intent, I doubt he really wanted to kill her, and senbon did the least damage of the three common thrown weapons.

Hinata's movements changed again, and again, brief bits of hesitation, a gradual slowing, a redoubling of efforts, as she was hit again, and again. Her spin grew faster, her legs dancing, and she began slowly winding through the trees, trying to get out of the circle of clones.

With luck, and, admittedly, a bit of skill on the Hyuga's part, none of the needles or knives would hit the struggling cat in her jacket.

Without so much a warning as a slight decrease in volume, the attack suddenly stopped, and Hinata stopped her mad whirl, one arm extended, the other crooked back and to one side. She was perfectly still, except for the rustling and yowling under her jacket that said the cat was still alive, and very, very unhappy.

Her left forearm had nearly half a dozen needles buried in it, four in her back, and the worst looking but least disabling was one stuck right in her left cheek, close to her mouth. I kept my face impassive.

"Way to go Hin-"

She exploded into motion, and suddenly, for a shining moment, the air was alive with senbon flowing outwards, and then she wasn't there any more.

Two dozen clones died in an instant as the senbon hit, their speed leaving Hinata's hands far greater than anything the clones had managed. And then she was among them, and she began to kill.

Naruto's words choked off, then he recovered. "Not bad. I suppose that makes up for the pitiful technique. And she kept the cat safe, so we didn't even fail the mission."

I frowned at him. The fool really needed to come up with a way to train his pet kunoichi that didn't run the risk of us failing a mission. Even a D. I did not intend to be on a team that failed missions.

Hinata landed in front of us heavily. Naturally, since she had to be exhausted. With quick, jerky movements, she opened the front of her jacket, removed the flailing cat, and hurled it at Naruto with a convulsive movement.

Naruto came alive as the cat flew at him, and with a deftness close to my own, the cat was quickly wrapped up in cloth and tied, only its screaming head left in the open.

Hinata sank to her knees and breathed heavily. I saw that all of the senbon, even the ones in her back, had been removed already, doubtlessly thrown at the tormenting Naruto clones. The little hole in her cheek was bleeding. Her lips were red with her blood, and with her pale skin framed in dark hair, she looked like a geisha with powdered skin and painted lips.

It actually looked good on her.

Naruto pulled medical supplies from his black and orange jacket. "Come on, lets see how bad it is."

Hinata hesitated, looking at me.

Odd.

But, after that inscrutable look, she slipped off her jacket.

…Oh. That was it.

Instead of a normal shirt, underneath she wore fine armored mesh, and a brief, very brief, set of wrappings around her breasts for support. I was remined forcibly that she also had the largest breasts of any kunoichi our age.

But she also had dozens of short, ragged lines across her breasts and stomach, cuts from the cat's claws that weeped blood, red standing out starkly against black wire mesh and pale white skin.

I did NOT blush.

But I did turn away, giving her some privacy.

"Kind of moot, Sasuke," Naruto said as he worked. "We may not have yet, but we will eventually be given long missions in the field together. Can't turn your back on a comrade, any halfway decent ninja would look for an opportunity like that." From the sound of things, I believe he slipped her mesh armor off, and then I could swear I heard cloth rustle as chest wrappings fell away.

I did NOT look. But a mental image came to mind, and I willed it to go away.

"I don't mind you seeing," Hinata said quietly.

But I knew she did mind. Only one person could make her say something like that.

Naruto.

I had to get out of here.

"I'll carry the cat back and turn it in," I volunteered, picking up the squirming feline.

"Wait, we're supposed to complete missions as a team-" he protested, but I was already leaping away.

o/

"I think we made him uncomfortable, ne, Hinata-chan?" Naruto said lightly as they watched the last Uchiha flee through the trees.

Hinata nodded shyly and swallowed the hot, coppery blood leaking in from her cheek. She was blushing furiously, and if anything, that made the hole in her cheek bleed even more. Fortunately, despite the fact the needle had peirced her cheek, she'd actually caught it with a snap of her jaw, which kept it from burying itself in the back of her throat or knocking out teeth.

Naruto sighed theatrically. "I swear, that guy is so uptight, if you shoved a lump of coal up his ass and showed him a tit, you'd have a diamond."

Hinata giggled at the thought, then hissed as Naruto applied a harsh smelling antiseptic ointment to the ragged scratches on her breasts and stomach. But other than tightening her muscles at the sting, she made no motion to get away, resist, or even cover her chest, even when his calloused thumb traced a long, curving cut that came within an inch of her left nipple. She wondered what he thought of the under-outfit she'd picked out for the day.

"Tell me what you need to work on," he ordered quietly, not pausing his treatments.

She nodded seriously. "Footwork. I was too slow to move outside the kill zone. I also need to be able to deflect with my feet. Juken doesn't use kicks, so if I go against my family and use kicks, I will have an advantage." She waited to see how he would respond, licking blood from her lips. Really, despite the massive amount of chakra she'd just expended forcing herself to move so fast, she wasn't too tired. Kneeling in front of Naruto, bare from the waist up, her breasts on display… it was all very exciting.

She couldn't quite stop the thrill that ran up her spine. She was sure Naruto noticed it, and she blushed more. Naruto always noticed how she was feeling.

"You also need to be faster with your hands. If you'd caught the senbon and used them for attack, you could have quickly reduced the attackers to a manageable level," Naruto admonished.

She flushed. "But you said not to kill your clones."

Abruptly his hand had her chin in a grip like steel, and he turned her so he could look her directly in the eye. "When your life is on the line, rules do not matter. Do what it takes."

Her white eyes watered, and her breath came in short hitches and gasps. She nodded as best she could with her chin in his hand.

"I need you," he added after a moment, his grip easing, his face softening. "Don't die on me now."

Her heart skipped a beat.

He leaned in and kissed her, licking her own blood from her lips with his tongue. She would have swooned… but Naruto didn't put up with that sort of behavior. He let her go.

His lips were stained red.

"So how much damage did you take in your arm?" he asked, breaking the spell.

She gasped, then touched her lips, her finger coming away tinged pink. "Oh! Uh… very little. I couldn't catch them all, but I could move where they would hit and cause the least damage. No tendons, no blood vessels, just muscle tissue and skin." She paused, then added, "The same with my back."

Naruto nodded. "I'll get there in a minute. First I'll wrap your arm." He used more ointment, then wrapped her forearms, both of them, in cotton bandages, all the way down to her hands, which were also nicked and scratched from contact with sharp points and edges as she slapped kunai and senbon away, despite careful application of chakra. His control was rock solid, despite the interesting things moving her arms did to her other assets.

But Hyuga were trained to notice eye movement. Rather than being embarrassed that he looked, she felt pride. He liked her body, and wouldn't let her believe that she was plain and dark.

Naruto said she was the most beautiful girl in Konoha, and Naruto was the only opinion that mattered.

Her back he took his time with, massaging medicine into the deep muscle tissue of her back while she lolled her head in obvious pleasure, and as he applied sticky bandages to each of the puncture wounds, he kissed the side of her neck.

"Mmmm." She arched the side of her neck into his kiss as the massage turned from working soreness out of her muscles into gentle caresses that left her skin pricking and sensitive.

Naruto might have caused her to be hurt more than any other person in her life, including her father, but he also never failed to make it up to her, in some ways equaling the pain with pleasure. She had lost her body modesty months before.

Now, she just wanted him.

He slid around in front of her again to dress her cheek, dabbing a powdered blood clotting agent into the hole in her cheek, which stopped the bleeding almost instantly. Her good behavior faded, though, as she began stroking her cheeks against his hands as he attempted to dress the wound, her eyes half lidded as she kissed his fingers. Blood and medicine and the faint fishy tang of the blood clotting agent, and Naruto kneeling there, looking at her with that mature, ageless face he had she loved so much.

He smiled at her as he finished, then held his arms wide in invitation. She practically swarmed into his lap, despite being slightly shorter, he always made her feel like the most petite girl wrapped in his big strong arms.

He chuckled good naturedly at her antics as he turned the conversation over to Sasuke and how they would deal with him, and she missed the predatory gleam in his eye, despite her focus on him.

She'd already offered herself to him.

One day, he'd take her.

o/

Hinata woke gasping and flushed, biting her sheet as she writhed on her narrow futon. For several long moments, all she could do was lie there, breathing deeply until her heart calmed.

…wow.

Now THAT was a dream. Mmm…

But it was starting to get light outside, and she could use the labeled training dummies while most of her clan were still asleep. It would go a long way towards reinforcing her image as a dutiful but somewhat inept and worthless daughter.

She had an image to maintain after all.

So leaving her sweaty, tangled sheets behind, she slipped on a pair of shorts and a shirt and stepped into the cool morning, leaving behind her dreams of how she and Naruto would christen his office desk when he became Hokage.

o/

I woke up to the sound of a rock bouncing off my window. Repressing a groan, I rose and grabbed my clothes, intending to slip out the front while the annoying person stared at my window.

No such luck.

"Hey, Sasuke! Wake up!"

Oh, it was Naruto. Well, it certainly could have been worse. Last time this happened, it was some brown haired academy girl in glasses, with a scroll of poetry she'd written about me.

Creepy.

It wasn't even that bad of poetry. Kunoichi training or not, it took some talent to have a passage with the line 'I want to bathe you with my tongue' in iambic pentameter. Was even kind of sensual.

But creepy. Yes, definitely creepy.

"Oi, Uchiha!" The tapping on my window grew faster, and with some irritation I twitched the curtains out of the way to reveal Naruto hanging off the outside wall, rapping with one knuckle. Instead of his usual orange and black clothes, he was wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.

"What?" I asked, not bothering to hide my irritation.

"How would you like a free meal?" he asked seriously.

I just looked at him.

"Oh, come on, I'm offering you a job, not trying to seduce you," he complained. "At least open the window and hear me out."

"Hn." I walked away to start getting dressed. I usually showered at night. Kept my bed cleaner.

"Damn it, Sasuke!"

I put on a fresh shirt. I didn't have to see him to imagine that frustrated expression he put on when things didn't go the way he wanted, though, since I wasn't looking, I wondered if he bothered.

"Alright, alright. Just listen. You've got to be tired of these pathetic D rank missions Kakashi's giving us, right?"

"Hn."

He took that as encouragement.

"Yeah, me, too. So I've been doing a little reconnaissance, you know, a little mission planning. And I think I know what mission we're supposed to get today."

I didn't say anything. I had clean shorts laying around here somewhere…

"So I propose we get it before they contract it out. It's an easy job if we use jutsu, but knowing Kakashi-sensei, he'll tell us not to and it'll take all damned afternoon. But if we go knock it out this morning on the side, not only will we still get the money, it'll be easier, and we might get something more interesting this afternoon!" He paused. "Or nothing at all, which would be cool, too."

"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked.

"'Cause I was gonna tell you yesterday after we turned in the cat, but you ran off," he said a bit petulantly. "It's your fault I had to find you this morning."

"Hn." Now for shoes.

"Look, the job is clearing a lot on the edge of town. It's covered in brush and there's a lot of bricks and stuff on the ground. I'd get Hinata, but she's doing some sort of family thing this morning, and you've got better skills for it anyway. Just hit it with a fireball and I'll pick up everything."

I glanced at the window. He smiled at me.

"Hey, I've already talked to the people, and they'll give us each a seven course meal ticket to Aishitoba's. That's better than D rank pay any day. One katon jutsu and a few minutes with my kage bushin and we're done."

That was pretty tempting. Aishitoba's was high end.

"…Alright," I agreed.

"Great!" he said enthusiastically, then paused, looking at me.

After a moment, I got irritated. "What?" I asked curtly.

"Are you gonna get ready?"

"I am ready, fool."

He looked contrite. "Oh. I thought you still needed to comb your hair."

I ground my teeth.

o/

Hinata kneeled primly at the low table, using nothing but pure will to ignore the soreness in her shoulder muscles and arm as she served herself a bowl of rice and some grilled fish. She also poured a cup of steaming tea, and took a drink.

Her sister, Hanabi, kneeled on the opposite side of the table, ignoring her own food at the moment while she stared at Hinata.

"Hmm?" Hinata asked. "Hanabi-chan?"

She just… stared. "Hinata-neechan… your face... it's leaking…" she said quietly, and her eyes kept sliding away, indicating discomfort.

Hinata felt of her at her lips, then felt the trickle of tea hit her jaw line. She blushed and dabbed at it with a napkin. "Oh! Thank you, Hanabi-chan. I didn't know."

Hanabi's chopsticks clattered to the table as Hinata held a finger over the hole in her cheek and took another long drink of tea with a serene expression.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, standing quickly and rushing from the scene.

Hinata watched her go, then ate her rice happily as she smiled after her departing sister.

o/

"They know me as either Naruko or 'that damned brat'," Naruto explained candidly. "And they don't like 'that damned brat' very much. So remember, I'm Naruko," she said, making her voice cute and breathy to go with her gorgeous young female body, "and he's Naruto." She waved a hand negligently at the male clone walking beside them, who looked exactly as Naruto usually looked, with the black and orange jacket over black pants. Naruko was currently wearing a long, chinese style dress of some rose colored fabric, which he'd slipped on over his shirt and shorts after he'd performed the jutsu.

Sasuke glanced at his teammate, both of them, even if it was only one, dubiously.

Naruko shrugged, and the movement did interesting things to her anatomy. "Wouldn't be my first choice of how to go about it, but we use what we have."

"Hn."

Naruto, privately, got a kick out of every time he got the stoic Uchiha to respond, even, no, especially his short, wordless sounds so brief they couldn't even be called grunts.

"There we go," Naruko said cheerfully as they approached a clean, well lit supermarket.

Inside, an elderly woman swept the aisles, and a man of roughly the same age moved boxes behind a counter.

"Good morning, everyone!" Naruko called cheerfully as she walked in, followed by Sasuke and the clone.

"Oh, hello, Naruko-chan!" the woman replied, straightening.

Sasuke wondered at the split second glare she directed in his direction, no, at Naruto's clone behind him. It hadn't been friendly.

"I'm here to help you with that lot you want cleared, and I brought some assistants like I said I would," Naruko continued as if she hadn't seen the dirty look. "This is Sasuke Uchiha, and this is…" she paused and tapped her lips cutely. "Well, I suppose Uzumaki-kun needs no introduction here."

"You're da-aaaah, quite right, Naruko-chan," the older man growled as he walked over beside his wife.

Naruko gave him her cutest, most innocent smile. "Oh, don't be an old grump, Aida-san. I promise Uzumaki-kun will be on his best behavior. In fact, I think there's something he'd like to say to you both." She paused and cleared her throat, "Ah-hem," then clasped her hands and smiled at her male self.

The clone stepped forward and bowed low. "Aida-san, I apologize for putting saltpeter in your rice bins. It was a juvenile prank and I'm sorry. But now that I'm a Konoha shinobi, I will not be pranking anymore, and I will do my utmost as a ninja to protect this village and all its inhabitants."

Both of their attention was on the clone, but Sasuke watched the real Naruto. There was an glint to her eye that belied her cute, smiling appearance, hinting at something seething below the surface. Sasuke rather thought he wasn't sorry at all.

"There, you see?" Naruko said smoothly, stepping forward to intercept their glares, which quickly softened as their attention turned to the friendly young blonde. "He's sorry, and he'll make it up to you by helping us clean up the lot. I'm sure he's not a bad boy, just a bit mischievous. Every town has at least one." She cocked her head sideways and smiled.

Sasuke wanted to retch. Naruto was a dangerous ninja, not as dangerous as him, perhaps, but formidable just the same, and no one with that kind of skill should… pander like that.

"I'll forgive him if you insist, sweetie," the woman said grudgingly. "But be careful that your forgiving heart doesn't get you in trouble. Some people are just born bad, and they can use honeyed words to fool you."

Naruko bowed. "Thank you, Aida-san. I will remember that."

"Well, okay, but he better not slack off and make you do all the work," Aida said gruffly, his hand on his wife's shoulder.

The clone took his cue and pushed around Naruko. "Hey, I'd never do that to Naruko-neechan! Just you watch, I'll do more than my share of the work!"

"…we'll see," he growled.

The lot wasn't very far away from the grocery store, and something had once stood there, but had long since been torn down and hauled away. True to Naruto's word, the lot was covered in patches of wiry, prickly bushes and long grass, and even a few small trees. Beneath the vegetation lurked innumerable bricks and stones which would also have to be removed to make the lot suitable for building on again.

Naruto and Sasuke walked in silence, while Naruko kept up a cheerful, meaningless conversation with Aida, demonstrating a detailed memory of their grandchildren, as well as his back aches and the Aida matriarch's bursitis.

Despite the wrongness of his teammate turning himself into a simpering female, Sasuke had to respect the effort and skill shown. If they ever went on a mission that needed someone to go in undercover, he was sending Naruto.

"Okay, we're here," Aida said, remarkably cheerful from his conversation with Naruko, as he sat down a bag of mixed box drinks his wife had sent as refreshments for the trio. "When my son died in the… twelve years ago, I didn't have the heart to try and rebuild here, but now the grandkids are growing up and needing a place to work, so it's time to break new ground," he said, scratching his chin thoughtfully, then brightened. "Old Miura let me keep some tools in his building over there, so I'll go get some axes... Hmm?"

"Oh, I'm sure we won't need them, right, Sasuke-kun?" Naruko said brightly. "Why don't you show Aida-san what you can do."

Giving her a dark look, he walked to the edge of the lot, considering it thoughtfully. Then, before he allowed himself to grow irritated with the whole mess, he raced through a set of seals and leapt into the air. "Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu!"

A stream of fire burst from his lips, hitting the ground and curling back around itself, forming a gigantic ball of fire that almost touched the boundary markers for the lot itself. Grass, bushes, and trash alike was incinerated in the blast, leaving nothing but a fine black soot.

"Wow!" Aida said appreciatively. "You are strong, young man, but I guess that's to be expected of a member of the famous Uchiha clan." He nudged Naruko, who bent willingly with his touch and took a step away, as if unbalanced. "You've got yourself a fine boyfriend there, Naruko-chan," he said, grinning.

Sasuke's head whipped around in shock.

"I hope he treats you to a nice night on the down in addition to Aishitoba's for your date," he continued.

"Oh, don't tease me, Aida-san," Naruko replied playfully. "Sasuke-kun is a bit too young for me, after all. Besides, I already have someone."

"Oh?" the old man replied, clearly intrigued. "What's the name of the buck who's captured our dear Naruko-chan's heart?"

Sasuke watched as Naruto giggled, giggled, and put her hand on the older man's chest. "Ah, Aida-san, a lady does not kiss and tell." She winked. "Besides, it wouldn't be appropriate… at this stage in our relationship." Before he could reply, she turned to the others. "Uzumaki-kun? Could you tell me if the stones are cool enough to pick up now?"

For a moment, he wondered why Naruto kept referring to his male self with the more formal last name, then decided it didn't really matter, and put it out of his mind.

The clone, for his part, picked up a scorched stone thoughtfully, then nodded. "Sure, Naruko-neechan. They're warm, but not hot." He smirked at Sasuke. "Now it's my turn! Kage bushin no jutsu!"

How… it was a clone, dammit! Naruto might be able to create hundreds of clones, but a single clone shouldn't be able to do it. Admittedly, the clone barely produced two dozen copies of itself, but it still spoke of a hidden power. When they'd done their brief tree walking exercise the third day they'd spent with Kakashi-sensei, he'd told them all that Naruto made up for his lack of a powerful bloodline like the other two by having more chakra than all of them combined, even including Kakashi himself.

It didn't make him a better fighter, but it did mean he didn't get tired like the others. A useful trait in a teammate, Sasuke would admit.

The small army of clones spread across the lot and immediately began picking up stones and bricks, under the doubtful eye of old man Aida.

"See?" Naruko said brightly. "I told you he was useful, and wanted to make amends. Now if you'll excuse me…" She took over a section of the lot close to them, and also began picking through the rocks.

Sasuke felt the old man's eyes come to rest on him for all of about a second before he 'hn'ed and stalked forward to pick up rocks with Naruto. What an annoyance, he'd just been brought in to use a fire jutsu, not scratch through the dirt and get sooty.

At one point, he could swear he caught a glimpse, some shred of intent, like someone was watching from a nearby building. But despite covert glances around, he couldn't spot anyone. It was probably just a Konoha ninja checking to see who was using a flashy technique like the grand fireball.

Whole or usable half bricks went in a pile in one corner, everything else went to a steady stream of clones making runs to the edge of town to scatter the rocks where they wouldn't get in anyone's way.

"Wow, good job, Naruko-chan," Aida said appreciatively about fifteen minutes later, when most of the work was done and only a few clones remained scratching around for the smaller rocks. "I have to admit, I wasn't sure if I should let you have the job, but you did a better job than I could have expected if I'd paid for a shinobi team."

Naruko giggled, and, much to Sasuke's surprise, blushed on cue. "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I just wanted to help out."

Sasuke had stopped, and was waiting patiently for their little exchange to finish, but while he did so, he noticed something. One of Naruto's clones had a sour expression on his face, like he was tasting something foul. Ordinarily, Naruto guarded his expressions like precious treasure, and Sasuke knew that everything he said and everything he did was an act, no matter how smooth or perfectly delivered it was. Sasuke was no fool, he saw Naruto for the accomplished liar he was. But that clone, the one raking dirt into a large hole left behind by a section of wall, had an open, unguarded expression that spoke of barely restrained hostility. Deep inside his heart, Naruto must really not like the guy.

Interesting.

Sasuke would remember that little flaw in the kage bushin.

He smiled benevolently at her. "Well, you certainly did. And here is your reward." He pulled out two slips of paper, meal tickets to Aishitoba, and handed them to her.

"Thank you!" she replied brightly. "I'll just give these to the boys and-"

"Wait, you're going to give yours to the Uzumaki brat?" he spluttered, interrupting her.

She put on a confused expression. "Well of course. He did do a lot of the work. I didn't do anything at all."

"But…" he began, then sighed and nodded. "You're right, Naruko-chan. You're absolutely right." His expression firmed. "But don't you think you didn't do anything, you were a big help to me. In fact, here. I've actually got another one, but I want you to have it." He wagged a finger at her as he pulled another ticket out. "And no giving it away, okay?"

"Thank you, Aida-san!" she gushed. "I don't deserve it-"

"You do, now take it, with our blessing," he said, closing her hand around the ticket.

"Naruko-neechan!" the clones called. "We're done!" And all but one popped out of existence.

"And just in time, too!" she called back at herself, before turning back to her employer. "Well, Aida-san, thank you very much for letting me help." She glanced at Sasuke.

Knowing his cue, and resenting it anyway, Sasuke sketched a short bow and murmured thanks.

"Yeah, thanks, old man! Glad I could help you and Naruko-neechan. No hard feelings, alright?"

He bowed and thanked them in return, and if his movements were a little stiff and his smile a bit tight, no one called him on it.

Naruko waved one last time as they walked away, together.

"You split yourself in two, so he'd pay you twice as much," Sasuke said without preamble.

Naruko grinned at him and tapped the side of her head.

Sasuke shook his. "Always thinking, Naruto."

She giggled and cocked her head sideways, for all the world to see as a cute, airheaded young blonde. "Beware the stupid act. It is, after all, just an act."

"Hn." He glanced at her. "You really hate those people." It wasn't a question.

Naruto didn't trip, didn't make any sort of outward indication of surprise, but there was something, a hesitation, a tension, that spoke volumes to Sasuke. His first impulse was to deny it, but Sasuke wasn't the type to just fish for information without being pretty sure of himself. So he'd respect his teammate's deduction skills.

A more genuine, but cruel, smile twisted her sensuous lips. "Yeah, I wanted one for Hinata-chan, but I really just wanted to screw the old man out of more money. Aishitoba's is gonna taste sweet."

They walked along in silence for a moment as Naruto handed payment over to his teammate.

"Saltpeter?" Sasuke wondered what would make Naruto go so far as to steal another man's sexual potency.

Naruko grinned. "Every day for almost a year and a half, before he got wise and hired someone to catch me. His wife thought he was just old and impotent."

Sasuke shook his head. But a tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Tiger penis and rhinoceros horn soup doesn't do a whole lot of good when it's loaded with saltpeter, but it still costs the same."

It was sort of tame, for revenge. Nothing at all like what Sasuke would perform when he got the chance. But there was still a certain artistry to it he could admire, and from various comments and rumors about what had really happened to Mizuki-sensei, Sasuke suspected Naruto was capable of more.

"SASUKE-KUN?!"

With a start, he glanced around, shaken out of his musing.

Oh... hell…

Two young girls sprinted towards him from several blocks away, one leggy blonde, one shorter, with pink hair. Sakura and Ino, the only other two girls in the academy who were good enough to make genin, despite spending most of their time and energy annoying him.

"Sasuke-kun! Who is that… HARLOT?!" They were getting closer.

With another start, he glanced at Naruko, smiling beside him. He'd actually forgotten that he was currently in the shape of a girl. A girl walking with Sasuke.

Aw hell. This wasn't going to be good. There were so many potential misunderstandings-!

"Don't!" he hissed, glaring at the blonde.

"Whaaaat?" Naruko protested, giving him a look of surprised innocence.

"Whatever you're thinking, just… don't."

"You're no fun, Sasuke-kun," Naruko complained, giving him doe eyes. But as the girls drew near, she added, "Want me to get rid of them?"

"…I got it."

"Sasuke! Who is this girl?! Don't tell me she's...!" Sakura cried.

"Sasuke, say it ain't so!" Ino added a second later.

Naruko stepped forward, throwing out her voluptuous breasts aggressively. "That's right, girls!"

"Whaaaa?!" they cried together.

"YES!" she added, striking a pose. "Everything you fear has come true! You've wasted your opportunity, girls, and while you sat on your hands, I snapped him up!"

Sasuke gave him a look that simultaneously spoke of betrayal, fear, horror, and murder.

"NOOOoooooo!" Tears streamed down their faces.

"Ohhh YES! And you better not lay a hand on him, or I'll kick your asses!"

"Sasukeeeeee!" Sakura whined.

"How could you let this happen!"

"Sasuke had no choice in the matter!" Naruko proclaimed. "Naruto was no match for my feminine wiles!"

"Maybe we can still have a threesome, I'm willing… wait, WHAT?!" Sakura spluttered.

"Yes, that's right! Naruto's mine! All mine!" she claimed, grabbing her clone by the arm and jerking him close. "You can't have him, so there!" She stuck out her tongue.

"So… you're… not… dating… this…" Ino began, the tears gone instantly and hope renewed filling her eyes.

"Take me away, Naruto-sama!" Naruko cried, jumping into his arms and flinging her head back with wild abandon. "Take me back to your love shack and ravish me!"

"…Okay," he agreed. He slung her over his shoulder, displaying her pert rump to the stunned trio, gave it a little slap, gave them a wink, and jumped away.

o/

Naruto sat cross legged, upside down, hanging above the bridge Team Seven met their sensei at. His expression was the very picture of serenity. Truly, he had achieved Nirvana.

A rock bounced off the back of his head. He disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"Hn. Didn't think so." Sasuke walked onto the bridge and leaned against the rail, opposite from where Hinata sat.

"You're not mad, are you, Sasuke-kun?" Naruto asked, landing lightly beside Hinata.

Another thrown rock, and this one, too, was dispelled.

"In my defense, I didn't do what you know I was thinking about, and you know it," yet another Naruto continued, walking up the bridge from the other side of the river.

"Che." He looked away.

"You're smiling, Sasuke-kun. Did something happen?" Hinata asked softly.

"Hn."

"Well, I'm glad to see you're all lively this morning."

They looked up to see Kakashi crouching on one of the bridge supports, smiling at them.

"That's a good thing, too," he continued, "because we have a mission. C rank. It should last about a week, including travel time."

Sasuke glanced at him, startled, and missed Naruto's comparable look of shock. He darted his eyes back and the blond, who gave him an enigmatic smile and tapped his head. Grudgingly, Sasuke nodded.

Well played, Naruto, well played.

Naruto repressed the urge to fidget. A C rank! He'd been trying to corner all the D rank missions since the third day since they were an official team! Finally, it worked! And it made him look good in front of Sasuke! Hot damn!

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, what is the mission?" he asked calmly, before Sasuke could beat him to it.

"A village near our border with Rain has been having some sort of trouble with wild animals attacking their cattle. Our mission is to guard, track, and eliminate the animals responsible." He smiled benevolently. "Think of it as an assassination mission, much like you would receive as a jonin, only our target is an animal of some kind."

It was so cute, the way their eyes gleamed at the thought of killing something.

"The village is Tomahigiro, a small and not very prosperous village on the edge of a swamp. Naruto, you should get poisons and… and some medical supplies. Hinata, you get maps and hunting gear, and Sasuke, you get a selection of traps. All of you will need camping gear and food suitable for up to two weeks in the wild."

They nodded seriously.

"The area is pretty wet, so we'll be doing some special training while we're there, similar to the tree walking exercise we did last week."

"Water walking, Sensei?" Sasuke asked.

"That's right, it's another genin level skill. Unless Naruto already knows this one, too?" The sneaky little blond read every scroll he could get his hands on, and already knew most genin level techniques. He'd even managed to mostly teach tree walking to Hinata before Kakashi had gotten around to bringing it up.

Naruto shook his head. "No, Sensei. I've read of it, but I've never tried. There are more trees than water around here, after all."

"Good," Kakashi said happily. "We'll all learn something, now won't that be fun?" He paused, and his voice deepened, his demeanor becoming more serious. "Oh, and one more thing. You might want to prepare yourselves. Some of you might not come back alive, or at the very least, you will see horrible things.

"The animals that have been attacking the cattle, no one knows what they are. But they say that the cattle have been torn apart with a savagery unseen in man or beast." He seemed to loom over them, his words heavy as he invoked images of horrible, bloody violence.

His students just… looked back at him evenly.

Abruptly, he was back to smiles. "Maa, that's what they say, anyway. You have until noon to get ready. Meet me at the gate of Konoha, and don't forget anything."

They all nodded solemnly and jumped away, hurrying to their assigned tasks.

Kakashi shook his head and sighed. "Why did they give me all the homicidal ones? If I didn't know better, I'd say there wasn't a spark of humor in the whole group." He paused. "That, or my jokes aren't funny."

He paused, considering.

"Nah."