My M#A#S#H- Scrubs Crossover

To the M#A#S#H fans: I have been racking my brain trying to find a way to

reunite Hawkeye and Trapper after the war. I wanted it to be original. So my concept is:

What if Hawkeye and Trapper don't see one another again until they are both in the

twilights of their lives.

To the Scrubs fans: I have only recently become a fan of this show, but I want to

do fan-fics that properly gives this show the holla holla it deserves. The Scrubs storyline

takes place sometime after the first Scrubs story I wrote where JD had a breakdown after

learning that the baby Kim is carrying wasn't his and Keith left Elliot.

Every now and again at Sacred Heart, we get a doctor or a retired doctor who

really connects. Yesterday was one of those days. A doctor who served at a M#A#S#H

unit in the Korean War was admitted with kidney and liver failure. His name was

Benjamin Franklin Pierce, but he insisted that everyone call him Hawkeye. Once we got

him stable, he had plenty of whacked out stories to tell.

"Trapper, my tent-mate at the time, and I would constantly play pranks on these

two Majors. They were a couple of regular army jerks. Well to be honest, Old Ferret Face

Frank Burns was just a wannabe. He wasn't a great Doctor, and was an even worse

soldier. One time we boxed him in a crate in his sleep. Another time we booby trapped

Hot Lips tent one night while they were on a date."

"Hot Lips?"

"Major Margaret Houlihan. She was such an army brat when I first met her. How I

wanted to hate her. But after a while, she turned out to be okay."

"You had feelings for her?"

"I sure did JD. She was one in a million. She was one in a billion!"

"Did you two ever hook up?"

"Once. We were trapped in a hut behind enemy lines. It was all a big accident.

There were bombs going off inside and outside the hut. She was scared and I was scared.

And somehow we ended up together. We never talked much about that night afterwards.

She was married at the time, but she got a divorce a little bit later. We never did much

about it. Even after the war. I got a note last Christmas from her kids that she had died. I

couldn't bring myself to go to the funeral."

"Did you ever marry Hawkeye?"

"No. But she was the one. I know that now."

"I'm sorry Hawkeye."

"Oh it's okay. I'm kind of tired."

"Yeah, you need your rest."

"JD, if you come back tomorrow, I'll tell you about Corporal Klinger and all of his

dresses."

"Sure thing Hawkeye."

I found myself spending as much time as I could with Hawkeye. His stories were

so funny and touching. He told me about all of his old Friends from the 4077th. Most of

them had passed away. Henry had died on his way home. Colonel Potter had died of

natural causes the very day he turned 100. Klinger had died in Korea after the war trying

to help his new wife find her family. Radar got sick and died of a stroke. His best friend

BJ was killed in a traffic accident a couple of days after he got home.

"Whatever happened to Trapper?"

"Honestly I don't know. Shortly after Henry died, he got his orders to go home. I

was on R and R in Tokyo when he left. The jerk didn't even leave me a note saying

goodbye.

"Did you try to look him up when you got home."

"No. He never made the effort to find me, so why should I go find him?"

I could tell that Hawkeye was getting upset, so I decided I would let him rest. I

was walking out of his room when I ran into Doctor Cox.

"All right Violet what's the latest on Doctor Pierce?"

"He's a little stronger. I think his kidneys are trying to get better. Do you think

he's ready to go home?"

"Let's give him a couple of days. I've not heard the Tuttle story yet."

There was something besides the Tuttle story that made Doctor Cox want to keep

Hawkeye here, but he wasn't telling me. There was another problem brewing at the

hospital. Elliot and I weren't talking. The reason we weren't talking was over the guilt we

both felt over what happened in the on call room and the nightmares that followed a few

months ago. Any time we saw one another in the hall or anywhere outside of work, we

avoided each other at all costs. I can't explain it. I guess it was like she said back then:

There's no way to go back to the way things used to be as friends, no way we can go back

to being together in a relationship, and the only thing we could do was just avoid and

stay away from one another. Stuff gets too crazy when we are together.

I was on Call the next night. Everything was quiet until about three that morning.

We had an incoming patient. He was another elderly Doctor. His name was John

McIntyre. He had suffered a heart attack a year ago and was being admitted for bypass

surgery he was going to have. He was a few days early. Once we got him admitted, we

put him in Hawkeye's room. I found it a little odd, but I had to ask him:

"Why did you check in so early Doctor McIntyre?"

" I don't know. It just felt like the right thing to do."

"Well it's good to have you here sir."

"Cut that sir stuff out. Call me Trapper?"

"Trapper?"

"Trapper?!"

That last Trapper came from Hawkeye who was on the other side of the curtain

we set up to split the room apart.

"That voice sounds familiar. Hawkeye?"

"Trapper is that you?"

I pulled the curtain back so the two Doctors could see each other.

"Hello Hawkeye."

"I swore that if I ever saw you again I would knock the piss out of you, but I'm so

damn glad to see you. Damn it's good to see you."

"Who would have thought that after fifty some odd years we'd end up in all places

a hospital. How have you been Hawk?"

"How have I been? How the Hell have you been? The last time I saw you, was

after that OR session we had after Henry died, and now here you are! I can't believe it! So

what are you in for?"

"Bypass surgery. You?"

"I've been having problems with my kidneys and liver. All that bathtub gin finally

caught up with me."

"Damn it Hawkeye it's good to see you."

"Hey JD? Could you give us some time alone for a minute or two?"

"Yeah sure Hawk."

"Hey kid?"

"Yeah Trapper?"

"Bring us a couple of nurses and some bathtub gin for old time's sake."

"I'll see what I can do."

"You know with a little work, he could probably give Radar a run for his money.

Hawkeye, can I tell you something?"

"Yeah shoot."

"I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye. There was too much too say and not enough

time. I wanted to wait at The Swamp for you, and then I waited at Kempo, but there

wasn't any time."

"You waited at Kempo."

"My flight was late. I stuck around the O-club for like ten minutes waiting. I ended

up talking to this guy who just came in from the States."

"BJ?!"

"Who?"

"Was this guy kind of tall and skinny looking."

"A little bit."

"Did he say he was from Mill Valley?"

"Yeah why?"

"That was BJ. Your replacement!"

"Well I'll be damned!"

"I wonder why he never told me he ran into you?"

"Well I didn't know who he was and he didn't know who I was."

"Okay I'll buy that."

"How good was he? Better than Ol' Ferret Face?"

"He was the best."

"That's good. I was afraid you would be saddled with someone who made Frank

look like a genius. How did you deal with Frank as a commander?"

"That didn't last long. Shortly after you left, Frank was demoted and they put a

regular army Colonel in Henry's seat."

"Was he any good?"

"Well he was in the Calvary in World War I and he served in World War II after

that. He was regular army, but he had a heart as big as the whole damn world."

"I bet Frank and Hot Lips pitched a fit."

"Frank did at first. But when Potter told him he wouldn't take his crap like Henry

did, he dried up a bit. You'll never believe this, but Frank and Hot Lips broke up!"

"Your kidding?!"

"Swear to God! Hot Lips got tired of Frank and his ten thousand mile umbilical

chord connected to his wife, and she went out and got married to a Lieutenant-Colonel."

"Wow!"

"Yep! When they went on their honeymoon in Tokyo, Frank went to Seoul and

went crazy! The stupid army promoted him and sent him home!"

"Was Hot Lips happy being married?"

"Not for long. That jerk treated her worse than Frank did. He withheld her money

from her and cheated on her so many times it wasn't funny. They got divorced after only a

few months."

"Did you two ever get together?"

"No comment."

"You did! I knew it! I knew that somehow you would break the ice woman."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So how is everyone?"

"Short and sweet, everyone but you and I are dead."

"That stinks."

"Yep."

Wow. This felt really good. I've missed you old buddy."

"I've missed you too Trap. So how are the girls and Louise?"

"The girls are good. They married well. I got eight grandkids and four great

grandkids and another on the way. Louise passed away two years ago."

"I'm sorry Trap."

"I'm not. I was scared to death that I wasn't going to be able to be a good faithful

husband when I got home from the war, but I was blessed with over fifty years of

happiness with her. How about you? Did you ever marry?"

"No. It just never happened for me."

"I'm sorry Hawkeye."

"It's okay. It was my choice. I don't know about you, but I got to get some sleep."

"I here you. You're looking kind of pale."

"Oh yeah? Well you don't look like the six million dollar man either."

"We'll catch up tomorrow. Good night Hawkeye."

"Good night Trapper."

I watched as the two war buddies reconnected. It was a really good feeling.

Doctor Cox joined me. I had never seen him smile so big as he smiled then. It was almost

like he knew more than he let on.

"You know something Newbie? I can remember when he told me about Korea

when I was a little kid."

"Who?"

"Doctor McIntyre is my uncle Newbie. Hell at times he was more of a father to me

then my own was. Every time he mentioned "Hawkeye" and how he did not to say

goodbye, he sounded so sad. I promised myself that I would help him find Hawkeye in

time to say goodbye."

"In time?"

"That heart attack he had a year ago? It's left him very weak. He's still in a lot of

pain. His daughters and I really don't want him to have this bypass surgery, but he insisted

on it. I'm afraid he won't make it through the surgery."

"Do you think Hawkeye knows that Trapper is weaker than he's letting on?"

"I don't know Newbie. You just make sure you make both of them as comfortable

as possible."

The next morning, Dr. Cox checked on his Uncle and Hawkeye.

"Uncle John? Doctor Pierce? How are you doing?"

"Terrible."

"Yeah. Since when do men give sponge baths?"

"I'll try to round up a few nurses for you two Uncle John."

"Uncle?"

"Yeah Hawkeye. Perry here is my nephew. He's a good kid."

"Yeah I've noticed.

"Hey Perry? You got a minute or two?"

"Sure."

"Have a seat and we'll tell you about the Spam lamb."

Watching Hawkeye and Trapper together reminded me that Turk and I haven't

spent as much time as we used to. It was understanding. Turk was a husband and a

father. To be honest, I was a little jealous of him. I think I'll give him a call.

"Hey Brown Bear. What's going on?"

"Yo man. I'm feeding Isabella. What's up?"

"Nothing much. You got any free time later?"

"I might. Why?'

"I was thinking we could gab a beer after I get out of here."

"Okay bro, that's cool. Just give me a call."

"Okay man. I'll call you later."

"Peace."

As I was walking back down the hall, I saw Doctor Cox and he had a sad look on his face.

"What's wrong? Is Trapper okay?"

"Uncle John's fine. I got the latest lab reports on Doctor Pierce. His kidneys and

liver are trying to shut down completely."

"Damn. Do you want me to tell him?"

"No. I'll tell him. I want you to come with me."

"Sure."

Hawkeye and Trapper were playing poker when Doctor Cox and I got to their

room. Hawkeye just beat Trapper with four aces over four tens.

"Damn it! You beat me again!"

"You remember when Radar beat you with this hand?"

"He won your long johns."

"Yeah."

"The little fink didn't even know he won."

"Then he traded him for a rack of lamb instead of a night with a nurse."

"His stomach was where his libido should've been."

"You remember when he got "slaked?"

"At Klinger's first wedding."

"First?"

"Yeah he got divorced, stopped wearing dresses, and remarried a Koran girl the

day we came home."

"Wow. He quit wearing dresses?"

"That's not the half of it. He decided to stay in Korea and help his new bride find

her parents. And then a week or two after the war, he stepped on a landmine and died."

"That sucks."

"Doctor Pierce?"

"Oh hi boys. And what's with this Doctor Pierce stuff. Call me Hawkeye."

"What's wrong Perry?"

"Hawkeye, your liver and kidneys are trying to shut down on you. I'm sorry."

We sat up all night with Trapper and Hawkeye. Hawkeye did his best to put a

funny spin on the situation. At one point, he made a joke about how he was looking

forward to looking like a character from The Simpsons, referring to how someone looks

when their liver shuts down. Trapper was much more quiet. Hawkeye noticed this and it

bothered him a little bit. I called Turk and called off our plans. Elliot came in the room

around three am to ask Doctor Cox something. Hawkeye noticed how Elliot acted around

each other. He asked if I would take a walk with him around the hospital. As we walked

around the hospital Hawkeye briefly reminisced about his days as hospital doctor.

"You know I can remember back when making rounds was my favorite part of the

day."

"How long have you been out of the game?"

"About two years after I came home from Korea. I had a breakdown back there. I

tried to be a doctor when I got stateside, but I couldn't handle it."

"What did you do?"

"I tried to stay in the game as an MD. And as a surgeon. At nights when I slept I had nightmares about Korea. So I quit and decided to buy a bar and run it. I never looked

back."

"All because of the war?"

"No. Not entirely."

"Then why?"

"Margaret."

"Hot Lips Houlihan?"

"You have to understand kid. When we first met, I wanted to hate her from the

top of her beautiful head to the bottom of her gorgeous feet."

"Didn't you?"

"I tried. Damn it I tried! Deep down I was crazy over her. And I tried to cover it

up, with every other nurse in that camp, and a few that weren't, but every time I was with

them, I wanted to be with her. How about you kid? Who's your Hot Lips?"

"Elliot."

"Doctor Reid?"

"Yep."

"I knew it. How long?"

"Since the day we met six years ago."

"Have you two ever….."

"Hit the sheets?"

"I was trying to find a better way to ask it, but that works. So have you?"

"Everywhere between here and wherever we've lived at."

"Well what happened?"

"Every time we get together, all Hell breaks loose. We start as friends, hook up,

and then end up fighting forever and then start over again."

"That sounds familiar."

"This last time was the worst. We were both seeing other people. The girl I was

with told me she was carrying my child. I was starting to freak out just a little bit about the

idea of being a Dad. Elliot and I ended up in the on call room. We were talking about

things. How we used to be. How I was going to be a dad and how she was going to marry

her boyfriend soon. Something happened, and we both started to kiss. Our pagers went

off. We had patients who were coding.. That morning I found out my girlfriend was lying

and wasn't carrying my baby. I was devastated. Elliot's boyfriend left her. I have always

worried that he caught us kissing and that's why he left. We haven't said anything to each

other since then. We avoid each other like the damn plague."

"When the war ended, I went to work at the hospital back in my hometown of

Crab Apple Cove. Margaret came and found me and went to work at the hospital. We got

together and moved in with my Dad. We decided to get married. The day before the

wedding, we had this huge fight and she left. I never went after and just let her go. We

tried to reconnect a couple of times, but we could never work it out."

"What was the fight about."

"Does it matter? Not to me. Not now. The point is, Margaret Houlihan was the

woman who I should have spent the rest of my life with. But I messed that up. Take it

from me, JD. Don't make the same mistake I did."

The next day, Trapper went in for his surgery. But things didn't turn out well. He

died on the operating table. When Doctor Cox found out, he didn't burst out in anger. He

cried. I had never seen him cry, but this time he cried buckets full. He sobered up long

enough to tell Trapper's daughters who had arrived during the surgery. I told Doctor

Pierce. I'll never forget what he told me.

"It's bad news isn't it? Radar had the same look on his face when Henry died. Trapper's gone isn't he?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid so."

"The son of a bitch didn't say goodbye this time either."

"I wouldn't say that."

"What?"

"He told me to give this to you."

I handed Hawkeye the note Trapper gave me. It was on a cocktail napkin He told

me he wrote it before he left Korea, but he didn't leave it back then. It read:

Dear Hawkeye,

I'm sorry I couldn't do this in person, but I'm heading home. Thanks for

everything pal. I'll see you on the other side.

Trapper.

Doctor Cox joined us at that moment.

"Doctor Pierce, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Perry. He's in a better place now. Are you okay?"

"No. Not really."

"He was proud of you. He told me last night that he couldn't have been more

proud of you if you were his own son."

"Thank you Doctor."

The next night I was in the on call room when my pager went off. Foctor Pierce

was fading and fading fast. I rushed to his side to try and save him. I couldn't. Before he

went peacefully, he told me one thing:

"Don't forget what I told you. Don't lose her. Don't let her go."

And then he was gone. I could only imagine it was to a better place.

The last thing I remember was dying on that hospital bed and telling JD not to lose

his girl. But here I stand in a place that seems so familiar. I've been here before. A man

just up in a jeep.

"Are you ready to go Captain?"

I get in the jeep and the driver takes off in a direction that once again seems so

familiar. I ask him where we are going. He doesn't answer. I look in the mirror and see

not an old man, but the reflection of a younger face that time had forced me to abandon. I

feel like I'm in a bad episode of the Twilight Zone. Then I notice a familiar sign:

M#A#S#H 4077TH BEST CARE ANYWHERE

My God! I'm going to Hell! This can't be Heaven! I'm in Hell! I'm returning to

Hell in Korea! The driver parks in front of the O.R. He tells me that this is my stop. I get

out of the jeep. I hear the familiar voice of Radar:

"Colonels! He's here! Everyone he's here!"

People begin to hemmorage from the huts, buildings, and tents like blood from a

bad wound. I ask Radar

"Radar what the Hell are we doing back here?"

He doesn't have time to answer me. Colonel Potter rushes to my side.

"Hawkeye Pierce! We've been waiting a long time for you!"

"Some longer than others."

The new voice shocks me.

"Henry is that you?"

Everything happens so fast. I soon find everyone from camp, Colonel Potter,

Henry, Radar, Klinger, Charles, Father Mulcahay, BJ, Trapper, the nurses, and even Frank

are here to greet me. Henry tells me:

"Come on! We got to get going. You're mom and dad are dying to see you."

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Someone is missing!"

"Looking for me Captain!"

I look across the compound where the helicopter used to land and there she is.

Margaret. Looking as beautiful as ever. We both run towards each other and meet halfway

and kiss for what feels like forever. I break the kiss and tell her how sorry I am. Only to

here her say how sorry she is. Then she tells me:

"We have to go."

"Why? Where are we going?"

"Home."

"Heaven?"

"Yes."

"I've been there you know?"

"In my dreams. Every time I'm with you."

I sat in the on call room with a million things on my mind. Mostly Hawkeye's last words to me: Don't let her go. I was startled out of my day dream by Elliot.

"There's something I have to tell you. My Dad has offered me a better job at his hospital back home. I told him that I'd take it. I just thought you would want to know.

She turned around to walk away one last time. I could hear Hawkeye's voice in my head: Don't let her go!

"Elliot wait!"

To be continued