Tsume-n-carnet: ok, so I wrote this fic for a very good friend of mine, Dragonelf 8, if y'all haven't figured out that we're buds yet. The idea for this fic came from the manga series Absolute Boyfriend (hence the title) and the fact that Dragonelf has loved Link since she was seven. Anyway, I know Mary-Sue/OC characters are not all that popular and trust me, I'm not fond of them either... but I'm hoping you'll give this fic a chance. Thank you so much for at least reading this ;).

oh yeah... and Dragonelf... I LOVE YOU! (hugs comic) This is my present for you... since I don't have near your patience, skill, or discipline to actually draw it out and I don't want you waiting forever for yours. But since you did give me an amazing comic... I'll make a deal with you. For each chapter, pic a scene that you want drawn out and I'll draw it for you. If there isn't one just suggest a picture you want of Link or something. Let me know in your reviews and I'll get those pics for you :).

Disclaimer: I do not own the wonderful characters or storylines from Fullmetal Alchemist, Absolute Boyfriend, or Legend of Zelda and I am not making any money from this. So take those lawsuites and shove it! XP

Quest for a plushie

Mya sighed as she walked around the dealer's room, again. Three days... Three days of looking and nothing. She hadn't realized how big the dealer's room was. She blew her dark bangs out of her face as she passed yet another stand. They were selling plushies too... but they still didn't have the one she needed! Mya had been hoping there would be at least one at Anime Expo, but unfortunately, her quest went on. She had found Roy on the first day and he was currently linked to her belt loop, but the other one still eluded her.

Mya had abandoned her Vincent Valentine costume today as the arm was falling apart, again... and she was forced to walk around in normal clothes.

Mya had promised one of her best friends, Lui, that she would find a Link plushie... or at least, she would try. Lui loved Link... had ever since she was seven, and Mya desperately wanted to get a plushie of her friend's dreamboat for her. She sighed again and tugged thoughtfully on her dark brown pony-tail.

'Maybe Lui would settle for a wall-hanging...' she thought, solemnly looking at another stand that was also sadly bereft of Link plushies. She KNEW they existed... she had seen one before. But like many random situations in her life... the second she was actually seeking something, it was near impossible to find.

Mya sighed once more as she turned down the last row of booths. She was just about to give up, when she spotted a booth at the end of the row she hadn't noticed before. The sign above it was baby blue with white wings skirting the words 'Fantasy Hearts' and a big red heart seperated the two words. Mya's eyebrow shot up at the name. What in the world was that supposed to mean?

Curiousity peaked now, Mya made her way over to the large booth. There were several order sheets and booklets cast across a long table and various pens scattered about. Mya scanned the titles on some of the rather thick booklets.

'Anime Boys' and 'Anime Girls' were the first two she saw. Mya tilted her head... just what was this booth selling? Next was a booklet that read 'Manga Boys' next to 'Manga Girls' and then there were two booklets for 'Game Girls and Guys.'

Still a little confused as to what it was they were selling, Mya picked up the 'Game Guys' book to flip through as she started fiddling with her FMA pendant. Maybe they had something with Link that Lui would like. Just then, a blonde saleswoman wearing what looked like a schoolgirl outfit, popped up.

"Hello there!" She piped happily, causing Mya to nearly drop the booklet. "Can I help you find anything?"

Mya blinked a few times. Ok... a little too happy to be working... and where the heck had this girl come from! Mya smiled slightly once her heart rate dropped.

"Actually, I was wondering just what exactly it is you sell here..." she started, not sure what to ask. The blonde smiled just a little too brightly.

"Oh! We sell life-sized figures of your favorite characters from Games, Anime, or Manga," she piped up.

"Life-sized figures?" Mya repeated. The blonde nodded offering no further explanation. Mya looked back at the booklet in her hands.

"Any figure in particular you're looking for?" the blonde smiled.

"Oh, actually, if you had a Link from the Legend of..."

"Zelda... right?" the saleswoman finished. With Mya's nod, the blonde took the book from her and opened it to a spacific page. "Actually... I believe... AH! Yes, here he is."

Mya looked down at the picture and gasped. It was Link, but he looked so real that Mya couldn't believe. Dang, he was hot! Lui would love that! Mya looked down at the price and supressed a cringe. It was alot... not impossible... but alot... she wouldn't be eating at all for close to a month, but for Lui... it was worth it.

"This is perfect," she informed the hyper-active saleswoman.

"Fantastic!" the woman piped. "Just give your name and address you want it sent to on the list here... and then we'll take care of payment."

Mya smiled at the woman as she signed the closest list to her, putting down her address after Lui's in case anything went wrong with delivery. Once she had payed for the pricey figure the saleswoman was smiling like a lunatic.

"Now! What will there be for you miss?" she asked sweetly, looking Mya over. Her eyes stopped on Mya's FMA pendant for a moment before moving expectantly up to her face. Mya smiled slightly at the woman's eagerness.

"No... that's ok, I don't wan..." she started, thinking about how much she had just spent.

"Are you sure?" the woman pressed in a true saleswoman fashion. Mya was starting to step back when she added. "We have some lovely FMA models."

Mya's foot froze in place.

"As in... Roy?" Mya could only imagine what their Roy model must look like. She practically started drooling at the image in her head... maybe just one more... NO!

Mya quickly wrenched herself away with a hastey 'bye!' and charged off in the opposite direction.

The saleswoman watched her go and looked down at the list she had signed. The woman sighed slightly.

"I suppose we'll have to guess... that shouldn't be hard..." she said to herself as she moved to the next costomer.

'Resist! Resist!' Mya chanted over and over in her head as she walked quickly to the other side of the dealer's room. She had already spent enough money. Once she no longer felt the pull from the vendor, Mya slowed her pace and smiled to herself.

'I hope Lui likes her present,' she thought hopefully as she headed back to the hotel room.

---elsewhere about a week later---

DING DONG!

Lui looked up at the sound of the doorbell going off. Did her brother lock himself out again? Curious, Lui got off her bed and headed to the front door down the hall. She looked out the peephole to see what looked like a delivery man standing on the front porch.

Cautiously, Lui cracked open the door. The man before her smiled sweetly at her as he stood in front of a very large box.

"Is this the Hawthorne residence?" he asked kindly. Lui nodded slowly, opening the door a bit more. "And are you Miss Lui?"

Once again Lui nodded. The man's smile brightened and he held up a pen and a clip board.

"I have a package for you if you wouldn't mind signing here..." he told her, handing her the clip board. Lui signed curiously on the designated line and three men moved the large box into the living room of her parent's house. Then she was left, feeling slightly awkward just looking over a large box.

'I wonder if this is the 'present' Mya said she got for me...' Lui mused to herself as she circled the package. Finally unable to stand it any more she tore into the brown paper wrapping and began working into the box. Whatever the 'something' was that was in it began to wobble as Lui finally got the front flaps of the box open. When she started on the inner wrappings, she accidentally tore through a string, and that 'something' came tumbling right out of the box... landing on top of her.

Lui lay in shock on her carpet, trying to figure out what the dead weight was that currently pinned her to the floor. Finally it registered that there was an arm around her waist, a chest laying beside hers, a leg intertwined with her own, and a blonde head of hair tickling her neck and cheek.

Lui did the only rational thing a girl could do when landed on by a 'dead' body of a man... she screamed bloody murder and bolted for the nearest door.

--- at Mya's house---

Mya lounged in her green chair as she watched T.V. Today was one of her days off this week and Mya was putting it to good use and taking the opportunity to do absolutely nothing! Well, that is if you count watching your favorite anime over and over again as nothing. Whether or not you would... Mya found it a worthy way to spend her day off.

She was just about to grab her microwave lunch from the oven when her doorbell rang. Mya blinked a few times. That was weird. She wasn't expecting anyone... besides, all of her friends just used the back door since it was closer to the parking lot. Shrugging, she strode over to the door, opening it slowly.

There stood a cheery as hell delivery man with a large box behind him. Mya's eyebrows rose at the sheer size of the box.

"Ms. Brown?" the delivery man checked, recapturing Mya's attention.

"Uh... yeah..." she answered slowly. Had she ordered something since getting back in town? No... oh wait! Lui's present! Had something gone wrong with the delivery?

"Splendid... I have the second half of your order for you," the man said smiling. Mya blinked a few times and then tilted her head at him. Second half? But she hadn't ordered anything else. Deciding just to go with it... Mya signed for the package and soon it was in her living room, laying on it's side.

Mya crouched on her blue couch, just looking at the box. What in the world could it be? After nibbling her thumb for a moment, Mya grabbed a knife and cut the tape on the box. She pulled open the flaps and started on the tissue paper. She pulled out a few packages of what looked like clothing and a small piece of paper. She unfolded it and read it through.

'Ms. Brown. We hope you will be happy with your new figure. You ran off before we could confirm which model you wanted to complete your two-in-one order... so I'm afraid a little guess work was done. If you are displeased with this model, please feel free to send it in for a replacement. Thank you.'

Mya stared at it for a moment, then reread it. So that explained why she had gotten a package as well. She put the letter aside and continued to look through the tissue paper.

Next she pulled out a medium-sized booklet which she examined. On the front was the logo for 'Fantasy Hearts' and a name printed in bold.

ROY

Mya nearly dropped the booklet. Roy? As in... Mustang? Well, only one way to find out. Curiousity and excitement coursing through her, Mya tore into the remaining tissue paper with new enthusiasm.

---with Lui---

Heart pounding in her ears, Lui peered cautiously out of her bedroom. Nope, she hadn't been halucinating... there was deffinately a blonde man laying on her living room floor.

What in the world had Mya ordered? A dead body?

Swallowing nervously, Lui crept towards the blonde. No, no... Mya would never have ordered something that sick and twisted... would she? Lui looked down as her hand came in contact with something. Lifting her palm she saw that it was a rather thick booklet. Lui blinked a few times before sucking in a disbelieving breath.

LINK

Link! It couldn't be! Lui studied the blond on the floor with new fascination. Now that she noticed it, his ears were pointed with a silver earing on each lobe. Curiousity peeked now, Lui picked up the book... er... instruction manual apparently... and slowly began to read.

'The Link figure is incredibaly agile and, though mute, is quite charming,' Lui read silently. Her eyebrow went up at the use of the word 'figure.' Was he... like... a doll or something? She continued to read. 'Includes master sword, sheild, clothing and hat,' Lui let out a breath. Well, at least he didn't only have boxers... not that they weren't... nice.

Glancing at the unbelievably fit and handsome blonde... Link, she corrected herself... Lui blushed and continued to the section labeled 'Getting Started.' This part Lui read aloud.

"In order to activate your unit's response systems, you must first exchange a heat signiture to the unit while simultaniously transferring a DNA sample so that you may be designated as your unit's owner. This is achieved by contact through the lips where the most sensative sensors are located."

'As in... I have to kiss him?' Lui's eyes widened as she stared at the object of her affections since she was seven. Were they serious?

'B-but... I've never kissed a guy,' she thought frantically, her face heating to a lovely shade of red. Swallowing, HARD, Lui placed the manual on the ground and crouched beside the blonde. It was just one kiss. And besides, it was an inanimate object... what was the big deal?

Taking a deep breath, Lui leaned down, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips to Link's. She jumped back slightly, startled as something started beeping, and then the whole body vibrated with a whirring noise. Lui's eyes went wide as Link's eyelids fluttered open and he began to sit up.

'Oh... my!... H-how can he be moving?'

Lui stared as the blonde lightly shook his head. Then, her heart all but stopped as his amazingly blue eyes trained on her. Just when she felt her heart begin to beat again, Link smiled at her... and all coherent thought left her head. She found herself unable to react as Link moved closer to her... then he gently cupped her face, running his thumb over her cheek... and brought their lips together once more.

---with Mya---

After managing not to faint when she found that the figure was indeed Roy Mustang and having read through part of the manual... Mya found herself just staring at the impossibly handsome face of the onyx haired alchemist. Oh she knew what she was supposed to do... but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to kiss the figure. It's not that she didn't want to, quite the opposite actually. It was just, according to the manual, Roy would start... moving... after she kissed him... and then what? She wasn't exactly good with men and she was worried about making a complete idiot out of herself.

Finally, Mya sighed heavily and moved down next to Roy. God, he was hot! Deciding just to give it a whirl, Mya closed her eyes and brought her mouth to his.

Tsume-n-carnet: All right... stopping there! I wanted to get this posted for Dragonelf. anyway, hopefully getting updates for other stories soon. Just know that I AM working on it! Thanks y'all!