A Defective's Haven

It was just another ordinary day on a certain planet. Dumb birds singing their songs. Dumb worm-babies walking home from skool, and a common green alien plotting his next brilliant plan to take over the Earth while a big headed boy tries to stop it.

Zim was just on his way home from skool, with a grouchy look on his face and a walk to show his pride and dominance. He was proud to be an Invader. The highest of the high, and the thought of seeing his Almighty Tallest praise him of what a well done job he had done once he had conquered this disgusting rock kept his spirit up. Zim let out a snicker just thinking about it, inspiring him to get home faster so he can start working on his new plan for world conquest. He picked up the pace and was nearly to his house when he heard a rustle in a nearby bush.

He stopped dead in his tracks. Knowing who was behind there he slowly crept in front of the bush and waited for the right moment. Waiting...waiting... until just the right moment...

'BWAAAARHGLARGHGH!' Zim stuffed his head through the bush shaking his head violently with his wormy tongue sticking out awkward.

'AAAH!!!' A boy with scythe like hair fell flat on his back, dropping his camera to the ground with a dreadful cracking sound..

'Hahahaha! Nice try Dib-worm! But you'll never get the amazing ZIM! NEVER!' He shouted with his arms in the air. 'Just what do you think you were trying to do? You can't prove I'm an alien while I'm in my amazing disguise.'

Dib got up and dusted himself off. 'I don't need to explain myself to you space boy! You just wait! I'll get another camera and expose you for the horrible heartless creature you truly are! And then we'll see who's laughing, won't we?!' He said while picking up his broken camera and running off out of site.

Zim yelled after Dib. 'You'll never get me Dib! NEVER! I will destroy your puny planet and all living things that dwell on it's vulgar surface! You will fear-' He immediately stopped himself when he noticed people around him givin an odd look. He slowly lowered his arms. 'Uh... I mean... I LOVE EARTH!' He screamed and ran the rest of the way home.

Zim had finally reached his house and quickly ran inside, zooming past Gir who was joyfully watching the angry monkey show. He swirled down the toilet to his mighty base below the house.

'That horrible Dib will soon feel my mighty wrath once I bring this horrible planet to its doom!' Zim sneered as he took of his disguise while walking to his computer. Zim threw off his wig and began punching the keyboard rapidly. 'COMPUTER! Bring up my latest plan on Earth conquest!'

'None.'

'Heh?' He cocked his head side ways.

'None. There is no latest plan.' The computer repeated with a rather annoyance in his voice.

'No plan? No plan! Didn't I make an amazing plan of creating a device that would latch into the human's brains and turn them all into mindless, zombie slaves?' Zim asked.

'For your information, the so called "device" was nothing but radishes and duck tape which failed miserably last week. All you did was help out world hunger.' The computer replied..

Zim just stared blankly. '...well, what about my brilliant idea of gaining control of a hamster and-'

'Did that also. Failed.' Interrupted the computer. This made one of Zim's antennas twitch.

'But what about the-'

'Did that to. Failed. ...Horribly.' He added with a snicker.

Zim smashed his fists on the dash and snarled. 'Grrr! You mean I have no plans on taking over the humans? None?!'

'Thats the first thing I said! Sheesh! You never listen!' At this point Gir come sliding out of one of the shoot entrances.

'WHOOOOOHOOOO!' He screamed, both hands in the air and a stupid smiled painted on his face. 'Hi!' He waved diototicly to his master. Zim ignored this. By now he was used to his robots annoyance and decided not to care much of what his servant said or did. But he was so frustrated on not having any plans prepared he had to take his anger out on someone, and Gir was the right person (or thing) to fill in that occupation.

'Gir!' Zim shouted. 'What have I told you about interrupting me while I'm working?!'

'But your not doing anything.' Gir said plainly.

'Well...I-...I am... I'm thinking about what I am about to do, yes thats it. And which is doing something but before I do something I need to think first and I can't think if your down here distracting me with your...your head and...and funny nubby arms!' Zim pulled of this excuse badly. Gir sat there staring at his master with a blank expression.

Zim pulled out a plush pig and handed it to Gir. 'Here, take this and go back above and do... something with it.' He snarled while flapping his hand rapidly, telling him signally to go away.

'...Okie dokie!' Gir replied, grabbed the pig and blasted back up the shoot with his rocket feet.

Zim let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed his head with his six fingers clock wise. 'What am I going to do? I need to a plan on taking over this filthy planet and present it to my Tallest.' He discussed out load to himself while walking back and forth. But I can't do that if I don't have a plan to begin with! The Almighty Tallest are probably wondering what is taking so long.' Zim always knew that the Tallest relied on him the most. More than any other Invader. If they hadn't, they would not have givin' him a secret mission. Zim took this job with such pride who could not even imagine what would happen if he disappointed his leaders.

Zim shook his head . 'I must not disappoint them! I shall call them right now and tell them everything is running on schedule and going smoothly.' Zim turned to the keyboard again and began locking in the Massive's codes for communication. 'Besides, they don't need to know every little detail. Yeah, thats what I'll do.'

Meanwhile...somewhere in space.

'In-coming transmission from Earth!' An Irken operator bellowed.

'Uaargh...Zim.' Said two shadowed figures.