Kelaiah the ferret grinned at the reader (though not quite as cheerfully as in the last chapter). "Whew! We're finally back! . . . Again. Heh, sorry folks, for the long wait, but I did say that all following updates would take longer than before, didn't I? Hhhmmmrrrfff!"

Just like in the previous chapter, Kel's mouth was suddenly covered by a tall, skinny fox.

"And once again," the fox said in a perky manner. "I would like to apologize for my fellow alter-ego's laziness concerning this poor fic-"

Kel slapped the fox's paw away. "Would you quit doing that! Besides, this is MY show!"

"Oh you're think you're so important, don't you, ferret?!" the fox shouted. "You and your little lazer and your fans and clumsiness and your ability to stretch like Elastigirl - well guess what, buddy?! Someday I'll be the celebrity around here, and I'll have my own show, and I'll be the one with all the gorgeous girlfriends!"

Kel furrowed his brow, spreading his paws. "What girlfriends?"

"You know! Like Nonny and Kalyn and-"

"EEEWWW! EW! EW EW EW EW EEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!! Gross! How can you think such a thing?!"

The fox blinked. "You mean you're not . . . ALRIGHT! That means I've gotta chance!" And with that, he ran off.

Kel sighed and facepalmed. "Ugh, they are not going to thank me for that."

Meanwhile, outside, the twelve contestants were voting on which two maidens would be the abbess for each team.

Mariel, who was sitting a little apart from the others (whether this was because of her . . . outburst during the previous chapter, it was hard to tell), fiddled with her quill, going over all the possible candidates for abbess-ship.

She naturally already thought of Mhera to be one of the abbesses: the otter already was an abbess, after all! But who else could be an abbess?

Well, certainly not herself. Mariel knew that she was far better suited as an Abbey Champion than anything. The same went for Dotti as well.

The mousemaid then decided to figure out who definately couldn't be abbess.

Immediately she knew Celandine and Bluefen wouldn't be right at all as abbesses, neither one had leadership tendencies. And Armel and Pasque were more healers than leaders. The same went for Treerose and Fwirl, so. . . .

So that left Cornflower, Trimp, and Rose.

After a moment or two of thinking, Mariel put down Rose for the second abbess. It seemed fitting that the love of the first Champion should be an abbess.

"The votes are in," Kelaiah announced. He rummaged around in the large wooden bowel and pulled out twenty-four slips of paper. After a bit of counting, the male ferret looked up.

"The first team's abbess is. . . .

"Mhera."

The ottermaid went and stood up next to Kel amid general clapping; there was no surprise there.

"The second team's abbess is. . . .

"Rose."

The mousemaid went and stood on the other side of Kel while her fellow contestants clapped for her as well.

"Alright then, Abbesses. Now its time for each of you to pick your team members.

"Mhera, who do you chose as your team's Abbey Champion?"

The otter considered for a moment before saying, "Dotti."

The haremaid grinned and galloped over to her fellow mole-speaking pal.

"Rose, who do you chose as your team's Abbey Champion?"

"Mariel, of course."

Mariel grinned and marched over to Rose's side.

Kel nodded and went on. "Mhera, who do you choose as your Squirrelqueen?"

Mhera smiled. "Fwirl. The best tree-whiffler I know."

The red-gold squirrelmaid hid her face with her tail and scurried to her friend's side.

"Rose, who do you choose as your Squirrelqueen?"

The mousemaid took a little bit more time in answering before saying, "Treerose. She's a very fast squirrel."

The squirrelmaid beamed and went and stood by Mariel.

"Now then," said Kel. "I let Mhera choose her teammates first, but now I'm going to let Rose pick out the next two. Rose, who is your Head Cook?"

"Cornflower."

"I should've known," the mousewife sighed with a smile. She went and stood with her team.

"Mhera, who is your Head Cook?"

"Hm," the ottermaid said as she considered her choices. Finally she chose Trimp.

"Rose, who is your Infirmary Sister?"

"I choose Pasque."

The pretty harewife beamed and stood with her team.

"Mhera, who-"

"Armel."

"Alright then," the male ferret laughed as the squirrelwife hurried to her team's side. "Okay, the last remaining contestants have to be Spys, so I'll be choosing which team they'll be going to."

Silence.

"Team One . . . you guys get . . . Celandine."

Since none of them looked disappointed, the pretty squirrelmaid skipped smilingly over to their side.

Kel smiled at Bluefen. "I think you know which team you're going on now."

The ferretwife returned the smile and stood by Treerose.

Kel then stood before the two teams. "Alright then, now that you've all been divided up, you have this night to get prepared for the three-day seige tomorrow. You'll receive further instruction in the morning, but for now, I suggest you get things . . . spruced up, eh? Y'know, get all the necessary items and such? . . . Yeah. Well, until next time!"

And with that, the male ferret disappeared in a mysterious whirlwind. . . .

. . . and the fox from earlier jumped out.

"Hi there ladies! Any of you wanna skip the seige tomorrow and have a date with your's truly?"

Kel's angry head and arm suddenly shot out of a plot-hole and seized the fox, pulling him away from the startled contestants.

"Arrggg, hey! Aw, c'mon, Kel! You never let me have any fun!" the fox whined, jerking himself free from the irate ferret.

"What have I told you?!" Kelaiah shouted. "No flirting with the contestants! Arrgg, first Cheek, now you, ugh." He turned to the reader. "Oh yeah, and in case any of you were wondering, this fox here is my . . . understudy, so to speak, though lately he's become a bit restless and keeps on popping up when he shouldn't be," the ferret added in a growl to the fox.

"Humph! You can repress me all you want, Kel! But some day, I'll be the handsome star of the show, and you'll be the one scrounging for scraps of pity and love!"

Kel blinked. "You scrounge for scraps of pity and love? I had no idea!"

The fox then also blinked, scratching his head. "Well, actually, that's a bit of a dramatization, but . . . you get my point."

". . . you mean you just made me feel sorry for you when I didn't have to?!"

The fox grinned. "Yeah, pretty much."

"AARRGG! . . . anyway, dear reader, as I was saying, this fox is my understudy, and goes by the name 'Fox-Kel'. Or you can call him 'Fox-Kelaiah', except that's too big a mouthful."

"You can also call me 'Kelly'," Fox-Kel put in perkily. "I don't mind being called that, unlike some creatures around here."

"Yeah, call him 'Kelly'," Ferret-Kel said pointedly. "But don't call me 'Kelly'! Hmph!"

Fox-Kel snickered.

"Well anyway," Ferret-Kel went on. "I hope you all aren't too disappointed with this chapter, and I hope to have the next one up sooner than this one.

"Also, I wish give a few announcements concerning Brian Jacques' newest Redwall book, The Sable Quean. Its release date (so far) is February the twenty-third of two-thousand and ten. A bit of a ways off, but I think we can tough it out until then.

"I have a few spoilers for it, though I will try not to give away too much:

"There were rumors and speculation that The Sable Quean is just a repeat of Mattimeo. Well, as it turns out, its not. Also, there aren't as many riddles and puzzles, and there is a warrior-mole (if you wish to find out more about him, go to the Redwall Wiki).

"Also, there is supposed to be a 'gray character', though that could mean anything. In the previous books, when I found out there were 'gray characters', I was disappointed to find that didn't mean 'good vermin'. So don't get your hopes up, vermin-lovers.

"And finally, on Redwall Wiki, there is a description of the book's main antagonist, Vilaya, who is a female sable."

Suddenly Ublaz Mad-Eyes appeared, reading the description of Vilaya off a piece of parchment.

"Oh my Pearls of Lutra! She's beautiful! My match! My . . . my . . . she's everything I want in a female! I CAN FINALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!"

Atunra, the female pine marten from High Rhulain, just so happened to be standing behind Ublaz. She crossed her arms and snorted angrily.

Ferret-Kel blinked. "Er . . . yeah."

Fox-Kel snickered.

"Well anyway . . . also, I would like to request to you all that you read my new fic Vile. If you like Broadway Musicals (such as Wicked) or if you like Outcast of Redwall, then that's the fic for you.

"And . . . yeah. That's all I have to say. Welp, good-bye, folks."

"G'byyyyyeeeee!!" Fox-Kel sang, give a wave and a dance.

Ferret-Kel sighed. "I'd say 'I need more coffee' except I don't like coffee."

A/N: Just to be clear, I do like the smell of coffee. I just don't care to drink it. ;)

Sable Quean Release Date: Feb 23 2010

Team 1
Abbess: Mhera
Warrior: Dotti
Squirrelqueen: Fwirl
Head Cook: Trimp
Infirmary Sister: Armel
Spy: Celandine

Team 2
Abbess: Rose
Warrior: Mariel
Squirrelqueen: Treerose
Head Cook: Cornflower
Infirmary Sister: Pasque
Spy: Bluefen