Disclaimer: Owning Naruto is something I don't take part in

A/N: Dude. Been ages. But I'm back. And with a brand new PIPE CLEANER THEATRE chapter!
Again, many more "MEANWHILE"s. I'm guessing you managed with the first chapter (since you came back) so you can deal with it this chapter too. Or perhaps you are still stuck in the maze of "MEANWHILE"s in chapter one, I'm and just imagining your presence? Either way, enjoy!

Two

"Uuuuuhhhhh."

"You are welcome!" Rock Lee answered Shino's groan.

"Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh."

But Lee was gone, sprinting back across Konoha to Sakura. Shino sighed inwardly. The first thing he couldn't understand is why this hospital wasn't swarming with medic-nin. The second thing he couldn't understand was…why was he in a crevice?

MEANWHILE

SHOCK! "Sakura-chan!"

Sakura and Naruto froze and looked over at Lee, who had reappeared from his trip to the hospital.

"What are you doing with him?"

Sakura looked around as if searching for an answer to why she was in this position with Naruto.

"I mean, everyone knows Naruto can't waltz!"

Sakura roughly dropped Naruto, who crumpled, pouting, "I can too waltz."

"Well, you were taking too long," Sakura shrugged. "We needed some way to pass the time. So we started waltzing!"

Lee glanced around, and with another SHOCK realized there was a body at their feet.

"Is that…Sasuke??" he asked, staring, surprised, at the body that was Sasuke.

"Oh, he was meditating and rolled down the hill unconscious," Sakura explained calmly. She paused. "I-I mean…SASUKE-KUN!"

"Sakura-chan," Naruto whined, completely ignoring the Sasuke at their feet. "We need to finish our dance!"

Suddenly, Lee turned to Naruto. "I challenge you to a dance-off for Sakura-chan's love!"

Naruto blinked at him.

Lee took this as an "okay" and began dancing to some music that somehow started up, though there was no boom box around.

When he finished his dance, Naruto blinked again.

"It is your turn!" Lee told him.

Naruto shrugged, figuring, "What harm could this do?" (or something along those lines, anyway) and began dancing to more, different music.

When he finished, Lee scathingly considered him before—

PUNT! Naruto went flying across Konoha.

"Lee!" Sakura chided angrily. "What did you do that for?"

"Naruto cannot dance!"

MEANWHILE

"Ow…my ribs…" Tenten muttered, even though no one was around to hear her. "Ooh…why does this always happen to me?"

THUD!

Tenten lifted her head to see what had landed across from her. She saw the bright day-glo orange outfit that could only belong to one person in all of Konoha.

"Naruto?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

Naruto had landed on his back, and was staring up at the sky. Apparently, he hadn't heard Tenten. "COOL!" he said. "LOOK! A BIRD!"

Tenten gave a strangled sort of sigh, letting her head once again hit the ground.

MEANWHILE

Ino smiled happily to herself. She had bought a brand new purse, two new pairs of shoes, and a really cute blouse and skirt. She paused for a second, as if she forgot something. After a minute of considering, she decided she hadn't and continued walking happily away from the mall, carrying her purchases in a couple bright pink bags.

Humming happily to herself, she began walking down a hill. I wonder what Sasuke's doing, she thought absentmindedly.

No sooner had the thought been completed had she reached the bottom of the hill, an arguing Lee and Sakura, and a Sasuke body at her feet.

She dropped her bags and fell to her knees next to the Sasuke who was lying motionless at her feet. "SASUKE-KUN!"

This attracted the arguing pair's attention. They turned towards her.

"Ino! What are you doing here?" Sakura demanded.

"I was shopping, but—" she motioned to the body. "WHAT IS HE DOING HERE, UNCONSCIOUS?"

"He was meditating and rolled down the hill!"

"Why isn't he at the hospital?"

"I was just going to take him there," Sakura said as if ending the matter.

"I'll take him, since you two haven't accomplished anything," Ino said, lifting Sasuke's limp form into her arms and standing up.

Sakura opened her mouth to protest at why Ino got to carry him, but Lee cut her off.

"Great idea! I will travel at top speed to assure we get there quickly!" Lee said, grabbing Sakura's hand. "Off we go!"

Ino blinked, and they were gone, flying across Konoha. She blinked again. After a slight hesitation, she sighed and started walking, albeit a much slower pace than normal, as the Sasuke body was weighing her down.

AT THE HOSPITAL

"Lee, you idiot!" Sakura shouted, smacking him. "Sure, we got here quickly, but what about Ino and Sasuke? Wasn't the whole point to get him here quickly?"

Lee thought about this, but before he could respond, Sakura was going at it again.

"I demand that you go back there and bring Sasuke here."

"But he is my rival," Lee said simply.

"Then bring Ino here, who happens to be carrying Sasuke," Sakura said slowly and clearly.

"But she is your rival," Lee pointed out. "That would be betraying you, Sakura-chan!"

"AGH! NEVERMIND!" Sakura shouted in defeat, sitting on the ground and crossing her arms stubbornly. "We'll wait here!"

"Uuuuuhhhhh."

MEANWHILE

"Hello? Anyone? Please?"

Neji exhaled slowly, calming himself. "Why is it that this always seems to happen to me?" he asked himself. "First I get stuck on a team with Lee…. Now I'm stuck in a ditch caused by Lee…. What next?"

MEANWHILE

Zzzzzz…. Shikamaru yawned widely and blinked tiredly up at the trees. Then, deciding that it would be much too troublesome to get up, he rolled over and fell back asleep.

MEANWHILE

Ino sighed in a frustrated manner, once again adjusting Sasuke in her arms. He was heavier than she had thought he would be. He was hampering her progress more than one could begin to fathom.

She straightened up and silently berated herself. Don't think that about Sasuke, she thought.

She saw the hospital in the distance. Something about it wasn't quite right, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

As the hospital came closer – er, as she walked closer to the hospital, she came upon team 8 (well, three-fourths of team 8). Hinata was in a spinning hot tub, and Kiba was unconscious. And Akamaru was drowning.

"Hinata?" Ino questioned, coming to a stop near her fellow kunoichi.

"Ino…san…!" Hinata was saying as she passed Ino at high speeds.

"What's going on?" Ino asked.

"Kiba…is…uncon…scious…and…I'm…getting…dizzy!" Hinata explained, each time she passed Ino.

"Um…" Ino thought for a while. "I'd love to help," she decided eventually, "but I'm bringing Sasuke to the hospital."

"Kiba…kun…can…you…wake…him?" Hinata asked.

Ino thought that this was a pretty good idea, so she walked over to Kiba. "Hey, Kiba?" she tried, but to no avail. "KIBA!" she shouted. Still no response.

"Agh, wake up!" Ino yelled, frustrated. She kicked out at him.

PUNT! Kiba went flying.

There was silence.

"Oops," Ino said eventually, rather unbothered. "Guess I don't know my own strength." And she continued on, impassive, towards the hospital.

Hinata was left getting dizzy. And Akamaru was drowning.

MEANWHILE

"…So that's why I've decided to write an autobiography," Kankuro finished.

"Well, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard," Temari said, polishing her fan. "Why would you want to write an autobiography?"

"Weren't you listening?" Kankuro sighed. "First, I'm doing it because—"

THUD!

Temari jumped a little, surprised, as a rather heavy something landed next to her. Upon closer inspection, the "something" was in fact, a Konoha shinobi.

"What's that?" Gaara asked, randomly appearing.

"Konoha," Temari said, pointing to the boy's headband.

They all stared at him for a while.

"Well," Temari said after a while, standing up. "I guess I'm taking him back to Konoha."

"Why?" Kankuro asked.

"Because you, Kankuro, will just get distracted. And Gaara…just, no."

"But I wanna go!" Gaara whined.

"You know what, Gaara?" Temari said, looking at him happily. "There are some cookies inside. Why don't you—?"

"COOKIES!" Gaara shouted, cutting Temari off and rushing inside.

She sighed. "Watch him, will you?" she asked Kankuro, who ignored her, as he was getting himself distracted.

After a last look at her home in Suna, she lifted the Konoha shinobi over her shoulder and began walking towards Konoha.

End of chapter two

Why is Neji still in the ditch? Is Ino really so strong that she can punt Kiba all the way to Suna? What is Kankuro distracted with? Can Shikamaru really sleep through all of this? What are Sakura and Lee doing? Why is Shino in a crevice? Will Hinata and Akamaru be saved from their spinning, watery fate? Answers to (not) all of these questions and (not) more, coming next chapter!

(Review, as always. Next chapter coming soon! ...Enough.)