I was actually running low on my imagination crack so

I was actually running low on my imagination crack so... heh heh… I'M SORRY, I REALLY AM. And it doesn't help that I'm sick as hell and I might die from my contagious disease,

A Picture is a Thousand Words

Picture Five: Insanity with Zexion

If you shake the book from its spine, dozens of pictures will fly out because they were messily glued down by a certain bubbly organization member.

But only one will stick out – because it's the one with a streak of red on it.

Zexion running amok with a chainsaw.

Yes. That's right. A chainsaw. And yes. Your eyes are not fooling you. That is a true genuine crazy eyed expression on Zexion's face. And yes he is running around with his tongue lolling out of the corner of his drooling jaw.

And no the world has not ended yet.

And if you flip the photo over you'll read the caption:

Zexion Gone Wild

XxXxX

"Okay – how old are you now Zexy?" Demyx bubbled around, jumping around like a bird on crack.

"Don't call me that – And I lost count." Zexion, not paying attention to Demyx, as he fingered through a well read book. "Why? You want to give me… these… 'Birthday beats'?"

"No – Marly came up with this new thing – Instead of 'Birthday Beats' he made up 'Birthday Humps'!"

…At this Zexion closed his book with a loud snap and just walked away.

XxXxX

At that very same moment in the kitchens of the castle, Marluxia was busy trying to sneak past Xaldin to get to the cake mix.

… He planned on dumping a whole lot of alcohol into the batter – Zexion was so uptight so how would it hurt if he loosened up a tad?

Marluxia never really thought about the consequences as he yelled out "OH MY GAWD – THERE'S A COCKROACH IN THE CUPCAKES!" and ran for the batter, a bottle of Luxord's strongest ale clutched in his hands like a life line.

He'll regret this – believe me, he will.

XxXxX

And now we find Zexion running away from Axel, Luxord and Xigbar; swearing his ass off. "NO – I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY OF THESE 'BIRTHDAY HUMPS'. I DON'T CARE WHAT SEXUAL PREFERENCE YOU IDIOTS ARE – I REFUSE TO BE ASSUALTED IN SUCH AN INDIGNIFIED MANNER."

But they don't care – They never care. They never think about the consequences.

But they will – oh yes, they will…

XxXxX

"HAH-PEE BIRD-DAY TOOOOOOOOO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…"

Zexion gave the group an exhausted deadpan stare. He had managed to avoid the three and apparently somebody had coaxed Xemnas into one of those cone shaped dunce party caps. And now he had to endure the rabidly horrible singing of his coworkers.

At least there was cake. That was probably the only thing Zexion looked forward to.

But soon no one else would support that fact.

Because no one would want to.

XxXxX

…Everybody stared at Zexion as he civilly ate his slice of cake. His rather large slice of cake.

Large as in half the cake. Which he had scarfed down at a balanced pace. Well balanced as in under five minutes.

'Crap' Marluxia is kind of trying to take back his actions of dumping three tankards of booze into the cake.

XxXxX

And now everyone was running away to escape the result of Zexion's pent up stress related wrath and Demyx's stupidity.

You see – Zexion became quite drunk – as in, insane straight down to my boots drunk.

And Demyx gave him a chainsaw for his birthday. Yes as in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Saw chainsaw.

And Zexion was having the time of his life with it.

XxXxX

That day everybody learned a lesson. First – never give Zexion birthday humps. Second – don't get Zexion drunk. Third – Don't give him a chainsaw for his birthday – you're not helping the situation.

XXxxXXxxXX

XD – The follow up to this is in Rubber Palm Tree. You've got to love Zexion's birthday parties – and birthday humps? Stay away from them Shadoom