A/N: I've discovered some really odd abandoned efforts on my hard drive. This one was supposed to get my OC urges out of my system, but I never got that far. So this is all that's coming. And it has Ibiki!

My name is Morino Ibiki.

Yes, that Morino Ibiki. The one in charge of Konoha's torture and interrogation. But despite the fact that my name is used to frighten small children, I rarely do 'hands-on' work. No, there are other, more sadistic, people in the division that are more then happy to take out the knives and thumbscrews. I am in charge. As any leader could tell you, that means I do the paperwork and keep everyone in order.

But there is one time that I do get down and dirty in the dungeons. That day is not a holiday, nor is it any kind of teaching experience for some young up and comers. No, that time is when we capture a shinobi from Kusa. Yes, Yes, we're technically at peace with Kusagakure, but that just means we don't go out of our way to capture them. Even if we were at war with them, Kusa is a small, pathetic excuse for a ninja village that has survived by farming poison. It would take a day, two tops, to utterly crush them.

But when one happens to stumble into our dungeons, I get out of my office. I oil the chains and I pull out 'Ol Reliable', my favorite skinning knife. I prepare, for one more time, to show everyone in my little corner of town that I'm still the top dog in here. And then I set to work.

It was on an occasion such as this that I was asked a strange question. It was actually by one of the recipients of my loving hospitality. I had done an excellent job if I do say so myself. A small piece of flesh had been slowly removed from his arm, and various toxins taken from Kusa itself had been dabbed in the hole with a horsehair brush. Ah, Irony. How I love thee. But as various painful yet non lethal poisons flowed through his veins, the Kusa nin could only look at me as I stopped to catch a breath.

"Why?" was all he asked, looking me straight in the eye. "Why do you do this to me? You haven't asked me any questions, and Kusa has done nothing to your village. So why do you have me and my kind so?"

I looked back at him, not entirely sure how to answer him. In all my years as the head of T&I, I've never been asked that. Most assume I'm some kind of sadist, or that I'm mentally unhinged. But, before I truly think about it, I'm already speaking.

"Because Kusa has taken something of mine, and I want it back."

As I angrily leave the torture room, I wonder what exactly caused me to say that. Destroying every Kusa nin I find won't bring them back to me, nor will it change the past. But I've survived for too long in this cesspool not to know how to trust myself and my gut, and my gut's telling me that that is what I secretly hope.

Shaking my head, I go back up to my office. After all, destroying those from Grass is like a vacation for me. I still have to do all my paperwork for the division. Those new manacles won't order themselves! But as I fill out forms and file papers, one paper practically jumps out at me. No, it's not been tampered with and it's not another explosive note dressed up as a form, but it is addressed to Morino Ibiki. Not Chief of T&I. Not 'That Bastard Who Cuts People Up'. Not 'To Whom it May Concern'. No, Morino Ibiki, sensei of team…

Alright, whoever wrote this better be one of two people, or they are fucking dead! DEAD! No one, and I mean NO ONE, who has any lick of sense calls me that unless they were on that team! No man calls me that who's not seen their favorite son slash brother figure tortured before their eyes. No girl calls me that unless they've been raped while watching the same thing! I grab the paper and flip it open, breaking the seal and praying that it's one of the two. Otherwise, I'll have killing to do.

A sigh of relief escapes as I see the name on it, but my breath stops again when I look at the date. This had been delivered weeks ago, but had just now made an appearance at my table. Either it had some time-delay jutsu on it, or more likely one of the grunts in the Hokage Tower had misfiled it. Looks like I'd have some more killing to do after all. But I scan the contents anyway, just in case there's nothing time-sensitive on them. The sigh of relief starts again, this time continuing uninterrupted. This was barely delivered on time. If it had been one day later…

A few minutes later finds me in front of the Hokage's desk, preparing to do something I don't think I've ever done before. "Hokage-sama… I would like to request a day off."

I think that if I breathed hard enough, Tsunade would have fallen over.