So…I'm sorry that this took a while…I'm working on another story at the same time on my account and it took me some time for that to come out as I wanted. And then it took time for THIS to come out as I wanted...
ANYWAY…I hope you like this chapter. We are now slightly outside of J.K. Rowling's timeline in the book, so for a couple chapters I get to do things my way:)
Muwahahahahaha…..
Severus sighed deeply and went to get his coat off the ground. It hurt him deeply that Lily was angry with him, and he didn't understand why. He hated to see her upset, or sad, or anything other than happy, really. He yanked his old coat off the ground forcefully.
Something fluttered softly out of one of the pockets. Something of a light purplish color. Severus picked it up. It was the flower that Lily had done magic on, the one she threw on the ground. He held it carefully, inspecting it to see if any of the petals had fallen off.
But it seemed fine, just the same as he'd found it originally. He put it in his pocket carefully, and walked home in the setting sun.
Spinner's End was not a pleasant place to grow up. Dilapidated, dark, and overgrown, the usual inhabitants were those who were not so well off: grouchy old people, convicts, and crazy, possessive hobos.
He had never seen any children on his street.
The nearby river flowed by sluggishly, and the smell of dead fish and garbage was ingrained into everything. Severus was used to it, however.
He walked down the street a little faster than was strictly necessary, and kept his eyes lowered to the ground and refusing to make contact with anyone.
Like anyone would want to speak to him anyways.
He reached the little house he shared with his family. The raised voices of his parents echoed down the stairs, and he sighed. So his parents were home. Oh goody.
Grabbing the half empty box of cereal in the pantry, he raced upstairs to his room.
"…you tricked me, Eileen. I don't want to be around freaks…I've half a mind to…"
"…Freaks? Is that what…"
Severus shut the door quickly before he could here anymore, digging a hand into the box of cereal and munching on the flakes pensively. Then, as if remembering something, he set the box down and reached into his coat, and pulled out Lily's flower. He unearthed a shoebox out from under his bed and blew the dust off it. Lifting the cover, and setting it aside, he looked his greatest treasures. A Galleon he had gotten for his sixth birthday, a picture of his family right after he was born-one of the only ones where they're all smiling.
When they all looked like a normal family.
He carefully set the flower on top of the picture and closed the box, pushing back under his bed.
"…don't you give me that shit, woman…"
"…talk to me like that, I'm not…"
Severus's door had swung open a little, and he got up and closed it again, pushing a chair up against it so it didn't open again. But he wasn't fast enough to block out the sound of his father slapping his mother across the face. Severus blinked back tears as he took off his coat and slipped under his blanket. He didn't care that it was still pretty early in the evening. The sooner he got to sleep, the sooner he could get up and leave the house again. He hated that his parents were always fighting. He hated that they hardly ever talked to him anymore. He wished that his mother would come and tuck him in at night, just once, so he could know that she still cared about him.
As he was fading into the welcome dark of sleep, Severus was sure he felt a hand caress his cheek and someone kiss his forehead.
The sun stung his eyes as it pierced relentlessly through his curtains. Another day, Severus thought.
But not with the blissful innocence of the annoyingly optimistic, no: It was just another day, just like yesterday, and probably the same as tomorrow. That was his outlook on life. He did not go through his nine-almost-ten semi-miserable years thinking that things were going to be better.
But that was before he met Lily.
Lily had unknowingly opened a door for him, had shown him what life could be like when you had someone to share things with, to talk to.
Jumping out of bed, he pulled on a different shirt and threw on his coat. It was Sunday, and maybe Lily and her sister would be out playing in the park again today.
It was this idea that took him out of the house.
Severus went to the little park and waited in the bushes. She had to come back, she just had to.
But she didn't. He didn't see anyone at the park all day.
Or the next afternoon, or at all that week.
Severus sat on his bed that next Sunday morning, as the exact same ray of sunshine that had woken him with such hope last weekend shot through the curtains again. But this time, he didn't jump out of bed. He had all but given up hope that he would see Lily again. He contemplated briefly on not going to the park, but thought better of it. What if she was there? What if she comes today? Besides, it wasn't like he didn't have anything better to do.
Getting dressed softly, he made his way downstairs and grabbed something out of the pantry, heading out the door in the slow way of one who's developed a habit and is just following the motions for no particular reason. His footsteps, naturally, led him to the playground. As he neared it, he could hear laughing voices, and Severus stepped back.
Peeking around the corner, he could see the slim figures of Lily and her sister.
It took a moment for that to sink in. Lily and her sister…
He had been seeing nothing at the park all week, and now the sight of people on the swings caught him off guard. Now that Lily was close, all the things he had held in his mind, everything he wanted to say, flew out of his head within an almost audible whooshing sound.
Lily was here…what should I do? What should I say? What about her awful sister… Severus crouched behind a tree and weighed his options.
Option one: Go up to Lily and say hi, and pretend nothing happened before. Option two: Go up to Lily and beg for forgiveness. Option three: Run as fast as he can back to his room and hope to god she didn't see him. Option four: Wait in plain sight for her to come up to him.
He didn't much like options two and three, and he was scared that she would burn him to ashes if he did option one.
So he settled himself with option four. Not very brave or ideal (she might walk right past) but it was safer and less painful than being murdered by a ten-year-old.
So he strategically placed himself in the shade of a small tree, one that she would have to walk by when she went home, and waited.
Lily was hyper aware of Severus sitting by the tree. She wanted to go over to him, to tell him that everything was alright, that she forgave him…but not while Petunia was around.
But she didn't want to hurt him again by avoiding him more. She had seen him coming to the park every day, looking for her, but she always stayed hidden. Obviously he still wanted to be friends, and she still wanted to know more about Hogwarts. Because he said they would probably be going next September.
Petunia didn't seem to see him, however. But perhaps she was pretending not to notice, like her. Petunia would not have forgotten hers and Sev's last meeting. They had both hurt each other deeply, and neither seemed about ready to forget it.
Lily sighed. Petunia was just going to have to deal with it. She had to talk to Severus. She could help not talking to him. She jumped off the swing, her long red hair blowing in her face and walked over to his post by the tree.
"Are you mad at me?" she asked when she was near enough.
Severus looked up, a wary look in his eyes. "Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because I…well…"
"You're not mad at me, or anything? Cause I'm sorry, about your sister." The words seemed to stick in his throat. But at least he said them.
"I know. I know. But she's not going to forget." Lily took a deep breath and calmed herself, then sat down next to him.
"Lily!" Petunia's voice screeched. "What are you doing?"
"Talking to my friend!" Lily screamed back. "What does it look like?"
Petunia opened her mouth to say something, but shut it, turning to sit sulkily on the swing.
"I missed you," Severus said quietly. "I came and looked for you everyday."
"I..I know. And I'm sorry. From now on, I won't run away from you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
They sat there in silence.
Severus stared at the sun shining through Lily's hair. When it hit the natural highlights, the refraction was like fireworks, and it dazzled him. It was so much more exciting than Petunia's lackluster brown.
They talked under the tree all day, about life, Hogwarts, and magic. Lily seemed to hang on his every word, and he enjoyed that. For once in his short life, someone cared enough about him to actually be interested in what he had to say. When he was with Lily he was in a spotlight, he had center stage, for however short a time. He was the one unique person in her life, someone who was different from everyone else.
Severus loved the feeling.
Cool, yes? REVIEW...cause you get imaginary cookies that way. :) I'll update soon, I promise. I'm trying to get as far as I can before i go back to school (senior year!) and I get less time to write.