Disclaimer(Luffy): RubberLotusShipper does not own One Piece. Now, where's my meat?!

Nami: You baka! Get back in here!(Pulls Luffy into fanfiction)We've got a show to do!

It was a morning like any other on the Thousand Sunny. Nami was drawing maps and beating the crap out of her crewmates for goofing around, Sanji was cooking breakfast and beating the crap out of Luffy for watching and drooling through the window, Zoro was lifting weights that looked like 200 boulders on top of a mountain on top of a stick, Franky was below deck, making sure that the Soldier Dock system worked perfectly, and Chopper and Usopp were running around, goofing off with Luffy. Brook was in the laundry room, looking for Nami's underwear.

That left one crew member: Robin. She was reading a book as usual on a lawn chair, until a scroll was dropped onto her lap from a bird flying in the sky.

"Robin-chwan!" hollered Sanji, who had just finished cooking. "What does it say?"

Robin unrolled the scroll, reading with increasing confusion.

"You are hereby invited to a party/awards ceremony that will be held in honor of the dreaded 4Kids dub". At this, everybody shuddered.

"What moron in their right mind would throw a party in honor of those bastards?!" roared Zoro with anger.

"Be quiet, marimo!" shouted Sanji, kicking Zoro in the head for interrupting a lady. "Robin-chwan isn't finished talking" His visible eye then became a heart as he fell prey to his hormones once again. "Please continue, Robin-chwan!"

Robin continued reading, ignoring the Zoro/Sanji brawl that had just started and was quickly stopped by the fiery-headed navigator. "That has been hereby cancelled, and the property released by the evil 4Kids empire". At this, everybody sighed in relief. Nobody was happy about how 4Kids gave Luffy a voice like a girl with a sore throat, or about how Usopp sounded like a clown on crack getting kicked in the balls every other word, or about how the Little Garden arc was skipped, but Nami got sick anyhow and Mr.3 "had been pursuing them since they left Rougetown".

"And so, we will be throwing a three-day celebration with lots of free food, games, and concerts, along with an awards ceremony for the most popular, coolest, most cold-hearted, and most annoying pirates, marines, and anything in-between!"

"WOOHOO!!!!" shouted Luffy, obviously interested in the "free food" part. "We're going to that party thing!"

"Hold it, Luffy!" demanded Nami, obviously annoyed at her child-minded captain. "It doesn't even say how we get there!"

"Oi!" shouted Franky, who was inspecting the crow's nest. "Whirlpool off the starboard side!"

This was no ordinary whirlpool, as a golden light glowed from inside, and it seemed to expand before the Thousand Sunny, becoming large enough to swallow the entire ship. Franky attempted to activate every feature on the enormous ship to escape the whirlpool, but the ship was hopelessly sucked inside, with everybody screaming, except Luffy, who was laughing like a madman all the time.

The Thousand Sunny landed in an ocean far away from the Grand Line, in an area close to the coast of an island much like a parking lot, except it was in the water and the spaces were marked with crossing tape instead of paint. The ship landed inside an extra-large space marked "FOR RESERVED VIP'S ONLY".

"Where are we?" mumbled Nami, shaken up from being sucked into the whirlpool.

"Hey!" remarked Luffy. "There's a party on that island! And parties mean meat!"

"Could this be the celebration that the scroll spoke of?" wondered Robin aloud.

"Hey, what's going on?" asked a dizzy Brook, who had a pair of Robin's underwear wrapped around his top hat. A swift beating from Nami was more than enough to convince him to put the panties back, though Robin didn't seem to mind.

"Alright, I'm still not sure about this, but I guess that we can go ashore…" started Nami, until she noticed that Luffy had already taken a small rowboat and was furiously rowing toward the island.

"That idiot!" roared Nami. Since the island had no dock, the others took three more rowboats to get to the island.

Despite the tables filled with food, the balloons, and the games, the party had the air of a funeral… and that was probably because there was one being held right now.

A little over a thousand seats were arranged in front of a podium, most of them filled with people that the Straw Hats had met over their journey. The infamous Shichibukai Bartholomew Kuma was standing at the podium, his trademark bible resting on the podium.

"Hey!" shouted Luffy. "There's that weird knight ossan! And that curly-haired guy! And those giant-ossans! And those… OWWWW!!!"

"Will you shut up?!" screamed Nami. "There are Shichibukai, marines, and really powerful pirates here! We need to lay low!"

"Oi! Anchor!" shouted Shanks from a raised seat in the crowd. "Where have you been for the last ten years?!"

"Being a pirate!" shouted Luffy back. He then jumped into a seat right next to Shanks'.

"Nice work taking down Enies Lobby!" commented Shanks. "Never thought that you had it in ya!" . The red-haired emperor of the sea then gave Luffy a slight noogie and laughed as the rubber boy (more accurately, a rubber man) attempted to hit Shanks and prove that he was tough.

"Wait.." breathed Usopp. "If Shanks is here... then could my father be here as well?"

"Oi! Usopp!" called a voice that Usopp had not heard for the last ten years of his life... but he knew instantly who it belonged to.

"Dad!" shouted the pencil-nosed sharpshooter.

"How's my boy doing?" asked Yasopp, the sniper of the Red-Hair pirate crew.

"I... I'm a man! A brave warrior of the sea!" announced Usopp.

"I knew that you'd become a brave warrior!" congragulated Yasopp proudly. "The spirit of a pirate is in our blood!"

"Quiet up there!" hollered Bartholomew from the podium. "I'm not done talking!"

"Oh, yes you are!" shouted Donquixote Doflamingo, another Shichibukai.

Doflamingo shoved Bartholomew out of the way. Then assumed Bartholomew's position of the podium and stated:

"Alright, so blah blah blah, the evil 4Kids empire is defeated, we get a better dub, and we also get uncut DVD's" announced Doflamingo. "Now, can we at least get to the party and the awards ceremony? I'm hungry as hell!"

Before any of the Straw Hats had even managed to sit down, Doflamingo finished the funeral speech for the 4Kids dub in 10 seconds by talking far too fast for any of them to understand. After the incredibly short speech, Doflamingo ordered an enormous coffin to be carried over to its final resting place - a large grave with "4Piece, 2005-2007 written on it and "We will not miss thee nor thy edits" written beneath that.

The coffin was placed into the hole dug, and a layer of earth was put over it. Everybody remained silent - and those that had and hats or headwear took it off as a curtsey - for three seconds, at least. After the three second period, Nami immediately ran over to the grave and put up a booth, complete with a sign stating "IF YOU DESPERATELY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW, YOU CAN PAY 500 BELI TO PISS RIGHT HERE" and sporting a large arrow pointing to the 4Piece grave.

"Typical" mumbled Zoro, rolling his eyes. Nami had obviously planned this from the moment that they saw the funeral. She must have guessed that it would be effective as well, as people and animals were stampeding toward the grave, handing Nami loads of beli.

After the long-awaited death and funeral of the 4Kids dub, the party began, with all the promised food, games, and all-around fun. Usopp was telling his father about his adventures as a brave sea warrior (75 percent of which were lies). Meanwhile, Luffy was helping himself to the all-you-can-eat buffet, which, for some reason, never seemed to run out. Wapol was challenging the Straw Hat captain to an eating contest, while Foxy was challenging random people to either 1-coin, 2-coin, or 3-coin games of the Davy Back Fight, half of which he lost. Buggy was running around, trying to find either Shanks or Luffy, but he had gotten hopelessly lost in the hedge maze present at the party.

Speaking of Shanks, the red-haired captain was participating in a drinking contest with the Straw Hats' green-haired first mate, whom he barely beat. Both men were in a slump over a table, red-faced, hiccuping, and mumbling bits of speech while being surrounded by numerous bottles/cups of grog.

"What carefree fools!" snorted Mihawk in disgust. Since every other pirate on the Grand Line was going to the party, the hawk-eyed swordsman felt that if he didn't go as well, he would be pursued the next few days by a fate worse that death - boredom. Childish as his reason seemed, Mihawk simply couldn't bring himself to admit that even he wasn't as emotionless as to deny that a little fun now and then couldn't hurt.

Over at another corner of the party, Chopper had met up with Ben Beckman of the Red-Hair pirate crew by accident, and the man, knowing the half-human doctor was part of Luffy's crew from the Enies Lobby wanted posters, had decided to use this opportunity to find out how his captain's favorite rubber boy had changed in the last ten years. During their conversation, Ben also revealed to Chopper that they had aquired an elixir on the last island that they visited which supposedly had the power to cure any disease with one sip. Chopper's eyes sparkled, obviously believing this and bowled over that such an artifact could exist.

"Problem is, we're not sure if it's genuine or not" Ben told the young Zoan user. "The guy who sold it to us ran away in less than a second, and our captain insisted that we keep it". Ben placed a hand on his forehead, obviously annoyed with his captain's decision. "He said that if it wasn't real, at least we would have a good flavoring for all the alcohol onboard. Even worse, there's nobody onboard to try it out on".

"Can I study it?" asked Chopper, obviously jumping at the chance to discover true panacea.

"You'll have to ask the captain first" responded Ben. "Though not even the doctor of our ship could identify what the elixir contained. I don't mean to criticize your skill, but I doubt that you'll find anything that you can understand".

"We'll see" was Chopper's response. Shanks had eagerly agreed to the young doctor's proposal, though at the time, he appeared so drunk that he couldn't tell the difference between an orange and a large gorilla.

Along with Ben, Chopper took one of the boats that were supplied at the coast of the island that they were on to get to Shanks' ship. Chopper was amazed at the sheer size of Shanks' ship, as it appeared to be the same size as the Thousand Sunny.

"Just look for a vial of pink stuff" said Ben when he and Chopper had entered the lab belonging to Shanks' doctor.

Meanwhile, Foxy had picked the worst possible time to play a game of Davy Back Fight with Luffy(who had stopped eating because Sanji was kicking the crap out of him for eating so noisily and sloppily) as revenge for humilitaing him before. This time around, Luffy's participants (which included Vivi, Usopp, and Gan Fall in the first round) had managed to win the Donut Race due to Sanji kicking the crap out of Foxy whenever he tried to interfere. Foxy was currently playing Groggy Ring with him this time, and Luffy's participants included himself, Franky, and Zoro.

"Gomu Gomu no... Bazooka!" screamed Luffy. The attack pushed Pickles of the Groggy Monsters right out of the ring and straight into the ship parking lot, where he crashed through the side of Shanks' ship like a cannonball and smashed right into the lab where Chopper and Ben were.

Chopper, who had just found the vial, was startled by Pickles' sudden entry and dropped the vial (which, thankfully, didn't break). The large pirate's sudden entry also rocked the medium-sized room, causing several bottles & vials to drop onto the floor. Ben held his head again as he lit a cigarette. This was going to be a long day...

"It's okay" said Chopper as he reached under a desk for what he thought was the elixir. He put the vial inside his backpack without looking at it, in his hurry to get inside his own little lab as soon as possible.

Once he stepped onto the Thousand Sunny, he met up with Sanji in the kitchen.

"Oi, Chopper" Sanji called to the young doctor. "Nami-san wanted a plate of my cinnamon rolls at the same time that Robin-chan wanted a pot of coffee. I have to constantly watch the oven's temperature to make them just right, so can you pour the sugar into the coffee after about 2 minutes?"

"Sure, Sanji" responded Chopper.

Why Sanji kept the special sugar for his Robin-chan's coffee in a vial similar to the one that the supposed elixir, we'll never know. However, just as Chopper was unloading the elixir from his backpack and walking toward his little lab, Luffy(who was currently participating in KO combat with Foxy) made the idiotic decision of using another Gomu Gomu no Bazooka that Foxy had failed to block or dodge. Since Foxy had rigged the cannon to fire at his ship yet again, and his ship was quite close to the Thousand Sunny in the parking lot, Foxy was sent flying off his own ship and into the open kitchen door on the Sunny, resulting in him crashing inside the kitchen and right into Chopper. The vial went flying out of Chopper's hooves and landed on the counter where the coffee was brewing, knocking the vial of sugar off of it and taking its place.

"Chopper!" shouted Sanji, who was just carrying a plate of cinnamon rolls to a boat by the Sunny. "What was that noise?"

"N-nothing" replied Chopper. Foxy appeared to be out cold, and Chopper did not want him to be harmed by Sanji any further for wrecking his kitchen. He was after all, a doctor. After doing his usual panic routine, Chopper decided to treat the large bump on Foxy's head while pouring the sugar into the pot of coffee at the same time. Not noticing the real vial of sugar beneath the counter, Chopper poured in the "elixir" instead.

However, the salesman that had sold Shanks' crew the supposed elixir had only been half-telling the truth. He had really discovered the vial in an ancient temple, but he had not idead what it really did, so, having once been a doctor, he decided to sell it off as a miracle medicine. Unbeknownst to anybody, the elixir was really a potion that caused anyone who drank it to fall madly in love with the first person that they saw, regardless of what it was mixed with. In fact, its effects were amplified by three times when it was mixed with coffee beans.

A couple of minutes later, Sanji returned after getting poked in the eye for flirting with Nami. He got the pot of coffee and rowed back to the island in the boat that he had gotten to the Sunny with in the first place. Walking past the Usopp Pirates(along with Chimney and Gonbe) playing "Pin the Tail on the Jackass" with a poster of Al Kahn on all fours, with the ears of a donkey and a target on his ass, which was facing the players(thank god Kahn actually had clothes on) and Dr. Kureha hitting Crocus for hitting on her, Sanji instantly went into love-cook mode as he set the pot of coffee on the tiny table right next to the lawn chair where Robin was sitting.

"Robin-chwan!" shouted the blonde chef. "I made this pot of coffee for you and your goddess-like beauty!"

"Thank you, Kokku-san" said Robin, which turned Sanji's visible eye into a heart.

As Sanji skipped away like a little girl to adore the other girls on the island, Robin drank her coffee. It tasted strange, and not like her usual flavor at all.

"Something wrong, Robin?" asked Nami. Thankfully, the potion only worked when the drinked saw a person of the opposite sex, so Robin did not fall in love with the fiery-headed navigator.

"Not at all, Kokaishi-san" responded Robin

"Oi! Robin!" shouted Luffy, getting right into Robin's face. "I found this thing!" the child-minded captain shouted annoyingly, holding up what appeared to be the "armored squid" that he showed to Vivi in Little Garden.

"That's nice, Luffy-k..." Robin started, but was interrupted by a fuzzy feeling in her head. She suddenly felt as if electricity were entering her body, but this was far from what she had experienced on Skypeia when Eneru had quite literally shocked her with his Goro Goro powers. It felt kind of good actually, as vivid fantasies suddenly entered her head about making out with the childish rubber captain and taking long romantic walks on the beach. Robin closed her eyes, trying to cancel out those thoughts. A pirate captain, after all, could not have these relationships with his crew, or he would become a weak link to the rest of the crew, but the raven-haired archaeologist failed miserably in shutting out her fantasies, and slowly succumbed to them.

"Oi! Robin! You all right?" the voice of her crush boomed.

"Baka! Leave her alone!" came the voice of the quick-to-anger navigator, followed by a dull THUD.

When Robin opened her eyes, she found the object of her affections to have a rather large bump on his head.

"Luffy-kun, I need to pick something up from the Thousand Sunny" Robin barely managed to get out. "Will you accompany me?"

"Eh? Sure" said Luffy, completely forgetting about the "armored squid" and tossing it aside.

Once inside the Sunny, Robin lead Luffy inside her room and to her bed. Next, she sprouted a hand by the door with her Hana Hana powers and locked the door. Even though she was infatuated with her captain, didn't mean that she had lost her common sense.

"It's on the roof" the archaeologist lied. "Get on the bed and see if you can see it."

"Like this? - oof!"

Robin had sprouted several hands around Luffy's hands and feet, restraining him to the bed. Robin knew that the D bloodline granted Luffy inhuman strength and that he could easily break free, so she would have to act fast.

"You know, you're even more handsome when you're tied down" said the historian huskily. not waiting for a response, Robin crawled onto the bed, grabbed Luffy's head, and pulled the rubberman toward her, placing a rough kiss onto her captain. Not bothering to see whether or not he was hurt, Robin sprouted a dozen more hands onto Luffy's lean yet muscular form and began to rapidly strip off his clothes, as well as her own.

Nobody saw either one of them for the rest of the day...

Getting back to everybody else, Kokoro was discussing with the recovered Shanks which kind of alcohol was the most delicious, while Zoro was trying to challenge Mihawk to a drinking contest since he decided that he had not trained enough to challenge Takanome to a rematch duel. Mihawk rolled his eyes and ignored the former pirate hunter, knowing that he could defeat Zoro in a drinking contest if Zoro was drinking water and he was drinking 20 cups of sake at once.

Mohji, Cabaji, and Alvida had finally began to miss Buggy a little, so they embarked on a search-and-rescue mission for the clown pirate, if one's definition of "search-and-rescue" meant cutting down every inch of the hedge maze with a saber until they found the pirate captain. Meanwhile, Yasopp and Van Auger were participating in a sniping contest, since the celebration called for everybody to call a truce. The contest featured posters of Al Kahn pinned to trees various distances from the two marksmen, and Usopp sat on a raised chair, calling ot from a megaphone which of Kahn's body parts the sharpshooters were supposed to shoot next.

Nami was beating the living daylights out of Brook for wanting to see her panties, Porche was looking for her precious "Choppy", Cindry was tied to a tree by Zeff so that she wouldn't break any more of the good china, Dorry and Broggy were fighting once again, since Nojiko had promised to ring a large bell every hour(she didn't approve of their feud, but they had promised to pay her), and various pirates were placing bets on who would win.

Several of Zoro's old enemies had come to challenge him to a rematch, whom he beat all at once without any effort. The Usopp pirates were trying to play a prank on Sanji by switching his cigarettes with lollipops, which didn't work and earned them some swift beatings from the blonde-haired chef.

Since all of the marines were officialy declared off-duty, Smoker temper rose, since he was surrounded by pirates and he couldn't arrest them. Tashigi insisted that she would only have a little 'friendly spar' with Roronoa, which lead to the green-haired swordsman to constantly stay on his guard, lest she would find him unexpectedly and challenge him to a duel.

Gan Fall, Conis, and other citizens of Sky Island were showing how dials worked to various blue-sea dwellers. However, this didn't go so well, as Carue somehow found himself trapped on a runaway waver. Meanwhile, Genzo was accidentally burning himself with a flame dial.

At last, night fell, and everybody helped themselves to the night buffet. Kodama from Fireworks Island prepared a special 207 ball, creating the largest and brightest fireworks that anyone has ever seen.

"Attention, everybody" called a voice that came from a mysterious figure at the far end of the banquet table, tapping a wine glass with a fork. The figure stood up, revealing himself to be dressed in a flat-top hat, a black judge's robe, and black polished shoes. The figure had most of his face wrapped up with bandages, only his eyes showing, and he also carried a cane that bore a grinning skull on top.

"I would like to thank everybody for coming to celebrate the demise of the $Kids empire" continued the figure. "Now, everybody eat, drink, smoke, and play games as much as you like, and the awards ceremony will be held tomorrow. All winners get trophies of various sizes made of solid gold. That is all".

"Hey, where do you suppose Luffy is?" asked Usopp. "He hasn't missed a meal since we left Water 7!"

"How should I know?" asked Sanji, lighting a cigarette. "Maybe he's eating somewhere else".

"If he's still not back by the end of dinner, some of us will go looking for that baka" said Zoro, putting a full bottle of beer to his lips. "But for now, let's just enjoy a meal where we don't have our food stolen by him".

"Yeah, you're right" said Nami, before downing a glass of mikan juice. "Besides, we still have that ceremony to worry about. One of you guys better win at least one trophy!" she shouted with sudden rage.

"Oh brother!" mumbled Zoro, who was eating onigiri, while Sanji yelled "Hai, Nami-swan!" and enjoyed the lobster.

Meanwhile...on the Sunny...

Luffy woke up groggily. Was it morning already? Hey... this wasn't his room! The rubberman rolled over to get a better look, only to find the ship's beautiful historian holding his arm oh so enticingly.

Luffy yelped and jumped about ten feet into the air, only stopping because he had hit his head on the ceiling of Robin's room. However, Robin still hadn't let go of his arm, and it had stretched all the way over to the ceiling. The yelp, however, had woken Robin up, and the nude historian opened her eyes slowly, seeing the shocked rubber captain on the ceiling of her room.

"Oh, Luffy-kun" the supposed demon of Ohara said huskily."You're up already. Want to go get some dinner?"

The events that had happened before they had went to sleep came flooding back to Luffy, causing him to blush furiously. However, now that he thought about it, it actually felt kind of good kissing the gorgeous 28-year old. Even though their enormous age gap lead this relationship to be somewhat awkward, Luffy had to admit that Robin did have a good figure. However, just because he was somewhat in love as well didn't mean that his love for food had disappeared, and the rubber man began slobbering.

"FOOD!" Luffy shouted. "Come on, Robin!" he grabbed the historian and launched himself and Robin to the buffet table with a "Gomu Gomu no Rocket" , obviously failing to remember that neither he nor Robin had any clothes on, bar Luffy's hat, which he went to sleep with.

This attempt at high-speed travel, by pure luck, ended up a lot less disasterous than most of Luffy's other attempts, only causing the two Straw Hats to crash onto the table and land in a sitting position.

"Hi everybody, sorry we're late!" shouted Luffy obnoxiously, obviously unaware of either him or Robin being nude.

Everybody at the night banquet dropped any utensils that they were holding. Anyone who had food or drink in their mouths spat it out, and one guy who sounded suspiciously like Blackbeard was snickering.

Then, a full blown riot broke out as the current situation dropped onto the crowd like a bomb. Sanji began crying and fainted soon after, mumbling something about heading down a warm tunnel and seeing a bright light, Chopper was yelling for a doctor before realizing that he was one, all the Baratie cooks, marines, and basically anyone male that was present had geysers of blood spewing out their noses and fainted as well, and Nojiko was putting blindfolds on any children that were present, yelling that they were at least 10 years too young to see this. Ace and Shanks were cheering Luffy on, while Mihawk acted like nothing had happened and couldn't care less.

"My eyes!" shouted one person. "I'm blind!"

"Has Robin lost it?!" yelled Nami.

"Everybody, please calm down!" shouted the figure hosting the banquet. "We've got everything under control!"

This was obviously not true, as people started to panic, Luffy was completely ignorant to these shouts, and began stuffing himself, while Robin cuddled him and Sanji, who had just woken up, fainted again. This, of course, lead Chopper to panic even more.

"Shit, it's not working!" mumbled the figure. He then pulled a small control box from his sleeve and pressed a button, causing streams of knock-out gas to spray from hidden nozzles all over the island.

"If this happens again..." mumbled the figure, holding his head.

End of Chapter 1

Okay, I know that there wasn't much 4Shit bashing in this chapter, but I promise that more will come in the later chapters.