CHAPTER 1
I daresay that the dusk, for all its loveliness, would have evoked no such feelings of happiness in Emily a few days ago. Indeed, Emily remembered little now, of all those months and years of despair, when she felt to be existing more in death than in life. Yet, there had been something which had perked her up, which had aided her through those torturous days. Something which kept her smiling even as she was in the depths of misery. She had managed to brave through hose days with the outlook of a Murray, a pride which seemed to be part of her blood now. Indeed, she was, she felt, better prepared for the remainder of the travel on the Alpine Path that lay before her. Yes, the Alpine Path was still clear in her mind and perhaps, it was this clarity that had rescued Emily from the mental torture that romantics fall into.
Emily's Alpine Path was the seek of Rainbow Gold - she had been in search of it from her earliest days. The ambition to write, a love for words - a feel for words had been her gift. She had added to it the mystic of nature, of magic, of love.. no, those were not God-given talents. She had picked them up during those nights under the stars , whence she used to gaze at them and wonder the may, beautiful things that they represented to her mind, from those friendly childhood pranks, plans and squabbles, from the first pangs of mysterious love, from the despair and pleasure it afforded. Each had further nurtured her inborn feel for words - in a way that she could put on paper her feelings with enviable ease. And it was her joy to find words gushing out through the pen her very thoughts and feelings. Yes, that is indeed a very enviable gift - as all writers would testify.
She felt Teddy's hand take her palm lightly in his. With a smile, she pulled her hand away saying "I thought you were into dreamland, Sir."
"I was Emily - but rather call it Paradise." He looked at her, as she loved him to look at her. She could see herself in his eyes, as she could not see herself elsewhere. There was a purity there which had always attracted her and placed in her a firm belief in her love for him. It had seemed years and years when she finally learnt of his reciprocal. "We derive all our resources from it Emily. All the paintings which I do - I see them in my dreams, or my Paradise first. Oh, there is so much more that my hands itch to do. So many colours to paint - so many thoughts to draw. Isn't it a glorious feeling to know that you can actually DO what you can imagine ? It is a lovely feeling Emily - a really gratifying feeling."
"That is a joy. I think of a magic tale in the middle of the night - and the pleasure which you get as you see the whole new world of fantasy unfold almost right before you and you seem to have every word to describe the whole thing. Yes, it is a delightful feeling, Teddy."
Teddy smiled, and looked at the fast darkening sky. "We would have a lovely life wouldn't we Emily ?"
"Yes , yes we would." she replied, looking at him with her eyes flowing with tenderness.
Frederick Kent, known in and around Blair Water as Teddy Kent, was an artist - a painter he was one by birth, by soul. That he had found a kindred soul in Emily gladdened his heart during his childhood, which had otherwise been repressed by the jealous love of his mother. It was only with Emily and with their teacher and mentor Mr. Carpenter's encouragement that he had begun to flower his talents. And finally, his mother had been made to allow him to display his talents to the world. It was when he had matured and saw ahead a period of separation from Emily when he realized her significance in his life - so it but natural that she gradated from becoming "the sweetest girl" to his precious love. Unattainable love, he had once thought it to b. For, he was only too aware of his position in life when compared with the Murrays and with no encouragements forthcoming her, he had decided his to be a love-in-thought. Misunderstandings had been galore. But today, as the first starts began to appear on the sky, they seemed to matter not a thing. All that mattered was she was beside him - as a lover. He looked at her fondly - as she seemed to be staring at nothing. And in a whisper said, "Come, let us walk back now. Its much too late."
She nodded - and brought herself up. She was sure that a few words would be forthcoming from Aunt Elizabeth regarding this late arrival . But she knew Aunt Elizabeth fairly well by now - and knew how to spare words with her.
*
She walked into New Moon, to see Cousin Jimmy giving a final look at his garden. He seemed to know every grass that grew in that patch of land, as he knew his own hand. Not a weed escaped his sight - and he was fiercely proud of his garden. Emily had shared many a happy summer days here, helping him to remove the weeds, to plant the new roses. The bushes at the corner seemed to be garnering his attention, for it was there that he was staring fixedly when Emily laid her hand on his shoulder. He came to with start. "Why dear Puss, you brought me back to earth."
"Everyone seems to be dreaming today. Teddy was deep into his dreams when I left him."
"Was he now !" and with a chuckle, Cousin Jimmy continued "Well, my girl, there is a difference between us. That boy dreams and then works, while I first work and then dream. I always said that boy would go far - because he could see his dreams as clearly as I have seen no one else." He turned around looked at her closely, "And you are happy, aren't you pussy ?"
"Oh Cousin Jimmy", she said putting her arms around him and her head on his shoulder, "I am. As much as I could possibly be."
"Well now - that I can guess. The way you have been making yourself miserable the last year and more. I knew you were not fully here. Never asked you why though - never like to ask that of anyone. Everyone has their grief in this world - there is no person who has experience only happiness. And every soul must learn to pick their grief themselves. I daresay that had you told me your heart a couple of years ago, you would have been an old main and a mother of two by now. But then, you didn't - and we had you longer. And you have written your first great book - you are growing up in the world. Ae - as I always like to think, its all for the best."
"Yes. I know what you mean Cousin Jimmy.".
As the final cries of the birds died down and the sky was alight with the twinkle of the stars, the moon a faded thing behind a think bunch of clouds, Emily felt a wholesome peace within herself. The sky never ceased to haunt her 0 what mysteries, what unknown lands existed there amidst all the darkness. The beauty o f the night sky is unparalleled in nature. It creates such an aura of beauty and seems to wash away the impurities of the soul leaving you clean and pure. Emily always closed her eyes after a while - it was much too dazzling. A few minutes later the two walked into the house.
*
Dinner was quiet that night at New Moon. Aunt Elizabeth did not bother to reprimand Emily on her late arrival and Aunt Laura had always been a spectator at the table. After dinner, as she was on her way up to her room, Aunt Elizabeth called her into her room.
"Here is some well-meant advice coming my way." thought Emily as she made her way to her Aunt's room. As ever, the room was dark - and with no fire to warm up the night. She found her Aunt knitting furiously. She was asked to take her seat by the window. This was conveyed with a nod of the head rather than words.
"Well - so are you happy at last ?"
"Good heavens, the whole world seems to think me temperamental all over" she thought as she replied "Yes I am Aunt Elizabeth."
"So I gather. Haven't heard you laugh as well for the past months."
"No indeed, Aunt Elizabeth. And well you know that I never plummeted to the depths of despair. I confess that I was not always happy, yet I was always apparently happy."
"Ha - when happiness abounds, the past smiles too."
"Perhaps it does, Aunt Elizabeth. But the past certainly has much greater smiles of mine than tears, over the past that you refer to."
"Never knew a pig-headed one like you - but perhaps I do. Which is what I wanted you here for Emily. Have you ever heard of a Felicity Murray ?"
"Murray ? No - I have never heard of her, Aunt Elizabeth. Was she one of us?"
"She was for a while. For a while. She lived in New Moon during her younger days. She was a good deal younger than me - she was one of the daughters of my GreatUncle Jonathan Murray. You wouldn't have heard of him - he was an outcast. But he was well liked by my Great Grandfather - and she was made to join us. It was a good time we spent together- she was a bit like you. Proud - always lost in dreams. And my word, she could get into scrapes. Anyway, it was in her twenty second year that Charles Goldwin arrived out of nowhere in Blair Water. Till then, she had remained completely unaffected by anything. There was John Lawrence out towards Shrewsbury who had always lurked after her. And made her any number of proposals - but she was never interested in any of them. Then came this Goldwin - and seemed to have swept her off her feet. And lo, by the end of the summer, they were married and she had left Blair Water for good. We received letter for a while from her - and after a few months, they stopped. We heard that she had born a son - little more. It was a good four years later that one of father's city friends let us know that the Goldwin had deserted his house and family and had gone to Far East for business. And when there was no letter from him for a good year, she was broken hearted. Her pride did not allow her to return to us - and she could not live there. She suffered - and by the end of that year, died. What happened to her son, noone know. Anyway - I hope you see why I say this to you Emily."
Emily was silent for a while. She could not really know why Aunt Elizabeth had poured out this tale for her. "Are you saying - warning me to be not too happy ?"
Aunt Elizabeth looked at her from over her spectacles. "Might be. But I know you have sufficient sense in you to keep your head in place. The heart is well and good. You like that boy above healf - and from what I have seen that boy, he likes you more than he thinks he does. Make sure that whatever you do, there is a good mix of the head and the heart in it. You have had your affairs - but you were never there fully in any on them. You are here - and he is too - and I feel a sort of overflow somewhere. Make sure that it doesn't go over board."
Emily smiled at her Aunt and replied, "Oh Aunt Elizabeth, I am not a young girl any more. I am almost an old maid - I know my mind well enough. We do love each other as much as anybody can. But its not passion as you think it, Aunt Elizabeth. We do not see our marriage as an end of this love we share. There are other dreams we pursue. There are so many beautiful tales that want to be written - and he is always dreaming up ideas for his painting. We are both travelers on an Alpine Path - in search of Rainbow Gold. We knew always that we needed each other in that travel. But the travel alone has made us the stronger for the path that lies ahead of us - which we shall travel together. There is as much of mind here as there is heart, Aunt Elizabeth."
Her Aunt grunted before saying, "The way you carry on. I don't know what you speak most of the time. And Emily, I hope that marriage would serve to take you off your scribbles a bit."
"No indeed Aunt Elizabeth. I mean to write more - and more. I can never stop that. It runs in my very blood."
"Always the same. Anyway, there is another reason why I told u about Felicity." She again looked at Emily, who could almost see the eyes getting softer and softer, "Never make your pride stop you from home. This is your home Emily - and whatever happens in life, wherever you might be, always remember that this is a place that is always open to you." Were there tears in her eyes ? wondered Emily ,"I know I have some in mine". "There - I have said what I wanted to say. You may go to you room now. Good night."
Emily would have dearly loved to hug her Aunt for once - but with Aunt Elizabeth, there seemed to be a wall that covered her. This was impenetrable.
"Good Night, Aunt Elizabeth" whispered Emily walking away to her room. As she seated herself by the window there and stared at the sky, she could feel the magic of Nature working on her again.
"Oh Lovely World" she whispered to herself, "whatever may I be - wherever I go - you are always with me. I shall never lose you."