HOW THE BOSS STOLE CHRISTMAS

*AN ADAPTATION OF THE CLASSIC SEUSS TALE*

By Nichole (Dr. Neko) Johnson

Nov. 19-20^th: 2000 Holiday Season

            Everyone has their own picture of Christmas.  For some it's those tacky lawn ornaments and gigantic red and green lights, for some it's all-out religious.  Well for me, it's traditional.  Friends, family, huge fluffy snowflakes, cocoa, and "The Grinch".  I mean, it's just not Christmas without that grumpy green Santa phony and I always could relate to him.  I've never been much of a fan of the holiday season (damn crowds and slush!), though of course it was cool as a child.  To me, the Who's were always the antagonists and the Grinch was just an innocent victim who knew that revenge is always sweeter.

            Despite that fact, this adaptation follows the traditional view of the Grinch (in this case Giovanni) as the bad guy and the Who's (Rockets) as the, er…good guys.  Of course, it's your choice who's side you choose and I don't blame you if you choose 'the Boss's way' (ha, that's the name of a Pokemon card!) or Team Rockets because, hell, they both kick ass and neither are exactly innocent goodies.

            So Happy Holidays, or good riddance—whatever your style… :P

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Note: The original (but adapted) dialogue and narration is in this font, while additional and added parts are in Times New Roman.

HOW THE BOSS STOLE CHRISTMAS

*AN ADAPTATION OF THE CLASSIC SEUSS TALE*

            Every Team Rocket member liked Christmas a lot…

                "A little to the left!  No the right!  That's too far!"

                James bit his lip in annoyance and struggled to keep his balance on the rickety ladder as the small (but surprisingly heavy) cat Pokémon shifted his weight to accommodate Jesse's instructions.

                Jesse, who was usually scowling in annoyance at their ineffectiveness to meet her demands, was practically glowing with excitement as she continued to bark out orders in a cheerful yet stern tone.

                "It's crooked, Meowth!  It's tipped to one side!"

                "Well I can't fix dat now—I've already tried!"

                James simply listened patiently to their harmless quarreling, hoping he would be able to get down from his position soon.  His back ached and shoulders shook with the weight of that cat.  For someone so little, he was awfully fat.

                Finally, appearing satisfied, Jesse nodded her approval.  "Alright, Meowth!  You can climb down now."

                Her human partner heaved a great sigh of relief, and prepared to step down, but a paw on his head turned his attention back 'round.

                "Just a sec, Jimmy.  I've got one more t'ing ta hang!"

                This time James finally spoke up.  "Meowth, my shoulders are killing me!  Can't we just leave it?"  His voice was a whine, but there was a dangerous tone to it.  Meowth seemed to reconsider a moment, but shook his head firmly.

                "Quit whinin'—it'll only take a sec!"

                By now Jesse had skipped away to work on some other decoration or other, so James had no help there.  He sighed and relented to the cat, scowling angrily to himself as Meowth piddled around with something unknown above his head.

                Finally Meowth made a small sound of triumph and hopped down from James' shoulders.

                "Okay, dat's all, Jimmy.  You can relax now," he remarked sardonically.  Too sore and preoccupied with his own discomfort, James didn't even bother to look up to see what the cat had been working on, and Meowth slipped unnoticed out of the room, not bothering to tell.

                Sore from decorating, James decided to go finish his Christmas baking, but arriving in the kitchen, he found Jesse already there.  It wasn't much of a kitchen, rather a nook of their small apartment back at Rocket headquarters consisting of an old table, a toaster oven, gas stove, and a sink, but it was sufficient for the amount of time they actually spent there.  Scattered around the small table was a mess of baking supplies and unfinished cookie batter, and the smell of burning cookies was coming from the small toaster oven.

                James wrinkled his nose unpleasantly.  "Um, Jesse, did you put those cookies I had sitting out in the oven?"

                "Isn't that what I was suppose to do?"

                James swallowed a snappy reply and hurried to retrieve the tray from the toaster oven, though the cookies were beyond saving.  He had already baked that particular tray earlier and had left them out to cool until he had the chance to frost them.

                Jesse was watching him curiously, somewhat guiltily, as he sighed patiently over the tray of blackened cookies.

                "Maybe I should just…stick to the tree," she muttered sheepishly, rubbing a hand behind her neck in embarrassment.  James groaned and dumped the blackened remains of cookie into the trash.

                Down on nearby main street Viridian City, a pair of Rocket members went about similar holiday preparations as they slowly made their way back to their own apartment, heavily laden with packages.

                "Are you sure we need all this stuff, sis?"

                At least, one of them heavily laden.

                Cassidy turned to her brother and partner with a grin, blinking as she came to the realization that she couldn't see his face amid the mountain of packages.  Her smile returned, however, and she waved Butch's question away cheerfully.

                "Of course we do, Butch!  What better way to butter up the Boss after our failures than a hoard of great Christmas gifts?  You don't want to be stuck in some filthy, run-down kitchen-less apartment without a Christmas bonus, do you?"

                Butch peered carefully around his load at his sister.  "You mean, like Jesse and James?"

                His sister scowled momentarily at the mention of her rival's name but nodded emphatically.  "But let's not dwell on others'…inability's and holiday misfortunes."

                His load wavering precariously, Butch looked up to the sky in curious recollection.  "But sis, I thought you liked dwelling on Jesse and James' misfortunes?"

                Cassidy snorted in amusement at her own momentary lapse of cruelty.  "Of course I do!  Now let's get these home and wrapped so I can go rub my Christmas bonus in Jesse's face!"

            But the Boss,

          Who ran all of Team Rocket,

          Did NOT!

                Giovanni scowled furiously at the brightly colored package on his desk.

                "Not another…"

                Below on the street, a pair of Rockets hastily tried to get out of the way of the fruitcake that suddenly came sailing over their heads from the Boss's office window then splattered unceremoniously on the snow-covered sidewalk.

                Giovanni sighed, somewhat relieved, and stroked his Persian's head broodingly.

                The Boss hated Christmas!  The whole Christmas season!

          Now, please don't ask why.  No one quite knows the reason.

          It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

                "Did you see that?!  It's raining fruitcake!  Let's get out of here!"

                "That guy's crazy!  He's a lunatic!"

                "What's going on here?" wondered Cassidy aloud, just as another fruitcake sailed over their heads.

                Butch peered around his load with a dry expression.

                "Looks like the Boss is getting into the holiday spirit, I suppose."

       It could be, perhaps, that his tie tied too tight.

                Giovanni scowled even further.  "It's a clip-on."

                Sorry I even suggested it.

                But I think that the most likely reason of all

          May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

                "Does the Boss even have a heart, Jesse?" wondered James woefully.

                Jesse didn't answer, for a fruitcake—one of the rather frozen ones—had just sailed through the open window and knocked her into the tree.  With amazing accuracy, the tree then fell on the wide-eyed James.

                If they had known where their assailant had come from, I suppose that would have answered James' question.

                But,

          Whatever the reason,

          His heart or his tie,

          He sat there on Christmas Eve, making frozen fruitcakes fly,

          Staring down from his office with a sour, shadowed frown

          At the warm lighted windows below in the town.

                "Florescent lighting does absolutely nothing for my complexion…"

                Giovanni pulled the shades with a vicious tug, then smiled with pleasure in the resulting darkness.  He leaned back in his chair with ease, preparing for a short nap to calm his frazzled nerves, when a sudden thought caused him to sit up in his seat.

                "Curses!  Just my luck!"

       For he knew every Rocket in their apartments beneath

          Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.

                James crawled out from under the toppled tree, wincing painfully, as Jesse untangled herself from it's branches.

                "Something that strange could only happen to us…" he moaned sadly, helping his partner to her feet, who was gently rubbing the beginnings of a large bump on the back of her head.

Jesse nodded dully, wincing.  Stretching her neck muscles, her eyes suddenly widened in surprise as something hanging from the ceiling caught her eye.

                "James, what's that?" she asked carefully, feeling the beginnings of a warm blush creep into her face.  Her partner looked up in curiosity, his own eyes widening as he spotted what she had been looking at.  His face turned a similar shade of crimson.

                "Um, that must have been what Meowth was hanging earlier…"

                Back in his office, Giovanni made a face of disgust.

                "Mistletoe!!  The worst type!  I thought my dimwitted employees knew kissing and all that other holiday mush was forbidden?!"

                And then another dark thought crossed his mind and he scowled even further.

          "And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.

          "Tomorrow is Christmas!  It's practically here!"

                "Santa Claus is com-ing!  Santa Claus is com-ing!!"

                Cassidy sighed in irritation, sticking a roll of Scotch tape in her overexcited partner's hand and regretting letting him eat an entire bag of candy canes earlier that morning.

                "Butch, quit jumping around like a buffoon and help me wrap these presents for the Boss!"

                And in their nearby apartment…

                "Mistletoe…?"

                The two Rocket members glanced at each other nervously, then to the berries hanging just over their heads, and back to one another.

                "That stupid cat!  I can't believe he tricked us like that!" snarled Jesse, but their was a nervous tone to her voice.  James looked at his feet nervously.

                "So…what do we do now?"

                Jesse huffed up to her full height in anger.  "We take it down and shove it down his throat, of course!" she snarled.

                James sighed softly in disappointment, almost unnoticeably.  Jesse, however, noticed.

                "That is, after we've kissed under it…" she added with a sly grin.  James jerked his head up to look at her in surprise, blushing even brighter as she wound her arms around his neck.

                "J-J-Jesse?!"

                "Now, James," she admonished sternly.  "We can't break a holiday tradition!  Like you said, we're bad, not insensitive!"

                On that last note, she brought her lips dangerously close to his …

                In his darkened office, the Boss sat brooding.  Unlike his happily preparing employees, he was hardly excited over this whole Christmas thing.

       Then he growled, with his fingers nervously drumming,

          "I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

         

For,

          Tomorrow, he knew…

          …All the Rocket guys and gals

          Would wake bright and early to open gifts from their pals!

          And then!  Oh, the noise!  Oh, the Noise!  Noise!  Noise!  Noise!

          That's one thing he hated!

                Giovanni cleared his throat sheepishly.  "The other thing is fruitcake."

                Ahem.  Anyway…

                Then those Team members, young and old, would sit down to a feast.

          Well, maybe not quite a feast.  But they'd eat, that's all that mattered.

            They'd feast!  And they'd feast!

          And they'd FEAST!

                                      FEAST!

                                                FEAST!

                                                          FEAST!

          They would feast on…canned stuffing, and unidentifiable ground meat

                "Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!"

                "NO TURKEY?!!"

                "Don't complain—the Boss wouldn't cough up the extra cash."

                Which was something the Boss could never conceit!

          "You've got that right!" scowled Giovanni sourly.

                Back at Team Rocket's apartment, for those of you hanging in suspense…

                James' heart was going a mile-a-minute as he felt Jesse's lips brush against his softly.  Just as he was about to summon his courage and press his lips against hers with all the passion he had kept bottled up for so long…

                "IN COMING!!!"

                …Another fruit cake sailed in through the window and knocked them both out cold on the floor.

                Aw, talk about ruining the moment!

                Unaware of the fruitcake war still taking place across the street, Butch and Cassidy smiled in relief at their finished wrapping.

                "There!  The Boss can't possibly hate us after all the great gifts we bought him!"

                Butch didn't look quite so sure.

                "I suppose.  At least we didn't get him a fruitcake…"

                Cassidy smiled brightly.  "Of course we did!" she crowed proudly, producing an unmistakably fruitcake-shaped package and holding it up for him to see.

                Butch's eyes went wide with horror as he dove for the package.

                "CASSIDY, GET RID OF THAT THING BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU!!!"

                "I hate fruitcake."

                Giovanni dusted his hands off solemnly, spinning his chair around to face the wall to brood darkly about the upcoming Christmas morning.

               

And THEN

          They'd do something

          He liked least of all!

          Every Rocket in his organization, the tall and the small

                Meowth crossed his arms huffily.  "We prefer 'vertically challenged'."

                A munchkin-like Rocket member waved a fist in irritation from behind him, surrounded by a crowd of a dozen or more other little people.

                "We demand equal rights!"

                "Give us our dignity!"

                Riiiiiigggggggghhhhhtttttt…

                Anyway,

       They would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.

          They'd stand hand-in-hand.  And they would start singing!

          They'd sing!  And they'd sing!

          A couple of unknown Rocket members waved their hands in frantic opposition.

                "Hey, now wait just one darn second, there!" cried one.  "I don't remember agreeing to that!"

                "I'm tone deaf."

                "Couldn't we just, um, hum or something?"

       AND they'd SING!  SING!  SING!  SING!

                "I think we're being ignored, guys."

                "Aw, let's get out of here.  I still have to put the lights on my tree…"

                And the more the Boss thought of this stupid group-sing,

          The more the Boss thought, "I must stop this whole thing!

          "Why, year after year I've put up with it now!

          "I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!

                                                                             …But HOW?"

          Then he got an idea!

          An awful idea!

         

          Giovanni frowned.  "It's not awful, it's great!"

                THE BOSS GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

          "That's better…"

       "I know just what to do!" The Boss laughed in his throat.

          And he had his receptionist buy a Santa hat and coat.

          And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great X-mas trick!

          "With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"

         

"All I need is a reindeer…"

          The Boss looked around.

                Giovanni pounded a fist angrily on his desk.  "Now what kind of moron looks for reindeer in his office, you numbskull of a narrator?!"

       …But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

                "No, really?!  You're kidding!"  Giovanni smacks his forehead in disbelief.

       Did that stop the old Boss…?

          No!  The Boss simply said,

          "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

          So he grabbed his pet, Persian—

               

                "Rroww!?"

                There was a horrified look on the Pokémon's face as Giovanni grabbed it roughly by the neck and dragged it into the secret room behind his desk.

                …Then he took some red thread—

                "Ah, this chicken wire should do…"

                "MROOOWWW!!"

       And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

         

THEN

          He loaded some bags

          And his new reindeer cat

          Into his private helicopter

          On the roof where it sat.

         

Then the Boss said, "Get moving!"

          And the driver took off with the Boss and his kitty

          Toward the apartments where Rockets

          Lay asleep in their city.

          Jesse stared at the ceiling in silent contemplation, listening to the sounds of people fighting in the apartment above and Christmas carols on an old radio in the apartment next door, unable to sleep.  The whole mistletoe incident had frazzled her and she couldn't seem to get over it.  At first she had been furious, then a sudden, strange thought had entered her mind.

                What would it be like to kiss James?

                The prospect strangely excited her.   She was still puzzling over it, a warm thrill going through her at the remembrance of how close she had been to doing so.  Wasn't this how it was suppose to feel when you're in love? She thought.

                There was a rustle from the sleeping bag nearby.

                "Jesse?"

                "Yes?" replied the redhead at the sound of James' voice, just a bit too eagerly.  She propped herself up on her elbow, leaning towards his sleeping bag expectantly.

                James did so as well, propping his chin up in his palms and moving his sleeping bag closer to hers.  Even in the dark, Jesse could feel herself blush slightly at his closeness.  James shifted uncomfortably, as if having trouble with what he was about to say.

                "Well…?" she prompted gently, easing closer despite her nervousness.  James shifted uncomfortably and rubbed his neck nervously, avoiding her eyes.

                "I was…wondering…"

                Jesse was getting impatient.  "Out with it, James!"

                James sighed, as if in defeat and finally returned her gaze.

                "Do you think Santa will bring me something this year?"

                His stunned partner fell out of her sleeping bag with a loud thump.

               

                "Cassidy, do you hear that?!"

                Cassidy sat up drowsily in bed, looking up at her brother through bleary eyes as he stood over her bed with a goofy grin on his face.

                "Butch, what now?"

                Her brother bounced excitedly from foot-to-foot in pent-up energy, staring down at his sister through sleep-depraved and sugar high eyes.

                "I heard them, sis!  Santa's coming!"

                Cassidy gave her brother her driest look of annoyance.

                "No, really, Cass!  Listen!"

                Sighing huffily, Cassidy cocked an ear in compliance.  All she heard was the sound of someone yelling two doors down, far-off Christmas carols, a loud thumping noise like someone dropping a bag of bricks on the floor below, and a helicopter taking off overhead.

                With another irritated sigh, she flopped back in her covers, throwing the comforter over her eyes to block out the noise.

                "Butch, it's just a helicopter!  Would you please go back to bed and stop waking me up already?!"

                Butch pouted pathetically.

                "But Cassidy!  I swear it was Santa!"

                "Go to bed, Butch!"

                Giovanni grinned.  A slow, evil grin that stretched his entire face and caused his Persian to cower back in terror.  Peering out of his darkened helicopter, he gleefully plotted his Santa hoax on the sleeping city of Viridian.

                All their windows were dark.  Quiet snow filled the air.

          All those Rockets were dreaming sweet dreams without care

          When he came to the first apartment lot on the square.

                "Doooonuuuuuuttttss…!"  James bit into his pillow in his sleep and turned over on his other side.  Across the room, Meowth purred happily, and Jesse giggled mischievously in her sleep.

                "James, you devil, you!  Don't stop…!"

                Cassidy smiled, sitting up in bed.  "What?  A raise?  How nice…"  She fell back onto her pillow like a stone, snoring loudly.

                "I want to ride the ponies too, Santa…" came her brother's drowsy murmur from the bunk above.

                Giovanni instructed his driver to land, and hopped out onto the fresh snow of the apartment roof with a childlike spring to his step.

                "This is stop number one," the evil Santa-phony hissed

          And he went to the chimney, empty bags in his fist.

         

          Then he slid down the chimney.  A rather tight fit.

          But, if Santa could do it, the Boss could make it.

                "Like hell!  I'm using the roof entrance."

                With a huff of annoyance, Giovanni hopped out of the ridiculously tiny chimney and walked over to the roof door with a cruelly purposeful stride.

                Okay, then…

                He got stuck only once, for a moment, that is.

          Until he broke down the door, like a true locksmith whiz.

          He peered in the first room, where stockings hung in a row.

          "These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

                Butch woke suddenly, looking around the tiny room in bleary-eyed confusion.

                "Santa…?"

               

                The Boss slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

          Around the whole room, and he took every present!

          The boxes!  The wrapping!  The bags and the bows!

          He looked through their cheap contents and turned up his nose!

          "People actually buy those things?!" sneered Giovanni in disgust, carelessly tossing the ravaged box into his sack.

                And he stuffed them in bags.  Then the Boss, very nimbly,

          Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!

          Giovanni turned from his shoving to regard the narrator skeptically.

                "What on earth is a 'chimbley'?"

                I have no idea.  Just go with the flow.

                Then he slunk to the icebox.  He took their whole feast!

          "Store bought pumpkin pie, canned cranberry sauce, and frozen hydrogenated turkey grounds?!" grumbled Giovanni in disgust, regarding the refrigerator's few contents.  Making a face, he tossed the three items into his sack disdainfully.

                "I think I'm actually doing them a favor by disposing of this filth!"

                He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.

          Why, the Boss even took their last can of ground hash!

          Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

          "And NOW!" grinned the Boss, "I will stuff up the tree!"

          "Uh-uh.  No way," remarked Giovanni firmly, shaking his head in objection.

                But you have to!  It's part of the story!

                Giovanni looked aghast, pointing at the tree and then to the chimney in amazement.  "How on earth am I suppose to get that up there?!"

                Well, I dunno'…

                "If you want that tree up the fireplace, you'd better do it yourself!  I'm out of here!"

                He turned around fast, and he saw a Rocket member!

          Who'd been waiting for Santa since practic'ly September.

          Rubbing his eyes, Butch gazed at the blurry, red-garbed figure before him with bleary eyes.

                "Santa…?"

                Giovanni smacked his forehead in disgust.  "You buffoon, I'm your Boss!  Are you really so dense that you can't recognize me?!"

               

                The Boss had been caught by this slow-witted young man

          Who'd got out of bed to go use the can.

          He stared at his Boss and said, "Santy Claus, why,

          "Why are you taking our Christmas tree?  WHY?"

          Extremely irritated by his density, Giovanni rubbed a hand over his face, groaning loudly.

                "Dear God, he's delusional…!  I need to invest in better minions…"

                But, you know, that old Boss was so smart and so slick

          He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

          "Why, my half-witted fool," the fake Santy Claus lied,

          "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.

          "So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.

          "I'll fix it up there.  Then I'll bring it back here."

          Butch blinked blearily, scratching his head in confusion.

                "It seems perfectly lit to me, though, Santa…"

                With an annoyed grumble, Giovanni kicked the tree over and ripped out the plug from the wall, incidentally shattering several of the lights in the process and singing a few branches.

                "There, you happy, nitwit?!!"

                And his fib fooled the idiot.  Then he patted his head—

          Giovanni gave Butch a hefty blow to the head with a nearby chair.

                And grabbing his ankles, he dragged him to bed.

          And once Butch was disposed of and sufficiently shut up,

          HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

          There was a heavy sigh from the Santa-clad Team Rocket boss.

                "Must I go over this with you once again…?"

                Just do it already because I have the power to drop you off a roof or strike you dead with lightning!

                Giovanni glared at the narrator for a long time.  Then he slung the tree unceremoniously over his shoulder and stomped to the flue.

                "Tell anyone about this and I dump your Team Rocket pals off a turnpike."

                My lips are sealed.

                Then the last thing he took

          Was the log for their fire!

          Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar—

          "Now that I did not agree to," remarked Giovanni firmly, stomping purposefully for the rooftop exit.

                On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

          And the one speck of food

          That he left in the house

          Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

          Then

          He did the same thing

          To the other apartment houses

Leaving crumbs much too small

For the other resident mouses!

"James!  Did you hear something?" hissed Jesse urgently in the dark room.  James groaned sleepily from his sleeping bag and raised his head to look around through bleary green eyes.

"It was probably mice or rats or something, Jesse," he grumbled, turning back over and putting his pillow over his head.  "Go back to sleep…"

Jesse growled angrily at his head, throwing her pillow at him in irritation.

"Get up and go see what it is!"

James whimpered drowsily, reluctantly sitting up in his bedroll.

"Jesse, it's too early…!"

It was quarter past dawn…

          All Rockets, still in bed,

          All Rockets, still a-snooze

When he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their presents!  The ribbons!  The wrappings!

The tags!  And the tinsel!  The trimmings!  The trappings!

Surveying the overflowing helicopter with a thoughtful frown, Giovanni turned to his cat where it sat hunched on the ground.

"Now all we have to do is find somewhere to dump all this junk."

As if on cue, a sudden thought struck his mind, and he took on a malicious gleam in his eyes.

"Driver!  Start it up!  We're blowing this Popsicle stand!"

Three thousand feet up!  Up a mountain named Trumpet,

He flew with his load to the tiptop to dump it!

"It's more dramatic that way," remarked Giovanni proudly, stroking his cat, who was busy attempting to remove the painful contraption of chicken wire and deer horn on it's head.

"That'll teach those sappy fools!" he was gleefully humming.

"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

"They're just waking up!  I know just what they'll do!

"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two

"Then every Rocket in the city will all cry—

"BOO-HOO!!"

"Butch, quit whining already!" snapped Cassidy irritably, surveying the wreckage of their apartment in her robe and slippers.  The room was bare and stark, a dreary Christmas morning sight and Butch had immediately burst into tears upon seeing it, moaning woefully in his harsh voice over their missing decorations and gifts.  His crying was almost more irritating than the fact that they had been robbed.

"SANTA STOLE OUR PRESENTS!!" he wailed, dropping to his knees and banging his head hopelessly on the bare wood floor.

Cassidy rolled her eyes.  "Oh, that's a good solution, Butch.  Just beat yourself up over it…"  Turning about, she shuffled back to her bed and decided to go back to sleep until this whole mess was over.

"That's a noise," grinned the Boss,

"That I simply MUST hear!"

So he paused.  And the Boss put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low.  Then it started to grow…

Jesse, James, and Meowth simply stared in stunned silence at the ravaged empty apartment room, stripped bare of it's meager decorations and belongings.

"I can't…believe we've been robbed," murmured Jesse heavily in amazement, her heart sinking at the prospect of another empty Christmas.

James was frozen with shock, staring at the bare circle of scattered pine needles where their tree use to stand.  His eyes flitted sadly to the empty kitchen, all the cookies and pies he had made the previous morning now gone.

"But we're Team Rocket," he moaned sadly, "Who would steal from us?"

His partners shrugged their shoulders dully, a shadow of misery falling over them in the dismal silence of the bare apartment room.

Suddenly, a bit of bright color across the room caught James' eye.  Going to see what it was, he crouched down in the empty space where the tree had formally stood, picking the tiny beat-up bundle of plastic green leaves and red berries in his hand with the utmost care.

Jesse and Meowth hurried over curiously, peering over his shoulder as he climbed back to his feet.

"What is it?" asked Jesse softly, pulling her thin robe around herself even tighter in the cold room.  James turned to his friends, regarding Jesse with an odd expression.

"It's the mistletoe…"

Outside, fellow Team Rocket members had gathered in the frozen street, milling about in confusion.

"What on earth?!  I've been robbed!"

"Hey, so have we!"

"What's going on?!"

"What kind of loony bin robs people on Christmas Eve?!"

Their confused and angry murmurs soon grew into a cacophony of wild accusations and enraged shouts, and the mob of pajama and robe-clad Rockets were soon embroiled in a minor street brawl.  Fists flew, accusations were let loose at wild.  The situation looked dire.

Until one small Rocket looked up from his quarrel with an older colleague, who quickly turned his attention on another hapless teammate.  The young Rocket was only about fifteen, and new to the organization.  Under a shock of thick brown bangs, his soft brown eyes shown with the as of yet untouched innocence of a child.

"Look, everyone!" he cried loudly from the edge of the broiling mob, brightly shining eyes turned heavenward.  "It's snowing!"

The mob of fighting Rockets seemed to waver for a moment, and then the entire crowd had turned their eyes heavenward, somehow captured by the wide-eyed innocence of the younger Rocket.  Several smiled softly, releasing their hold on fellow Rockets and dropping their quarrels, staring at the softly falling snow as if they had seen nothing like it before in their life.

And then, the young Rocket began to sing.

That Rocket's name was Mondo.

Back on the Mountain Trumpet, Giovanni stood straining his hearing, hand to his ear as he listened eagerly to the soft sound that was slowly wafting over the hills from the city below.

But the sound wasn't sad!

Why, this sound sounded merry!

It couldn't be so!

But it WAS merry!  VERY!

He stared down at Viridian City!

Practically popping his eyes!

Then he shook!

What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Rocket down in Viridian, the tall and the small,

Was singing!  Without any presents at all!

Criminals singing in the streets.  Now that's something you don't see everyday.

"IT MUST BE THE APOCALYPSE!!!" screamed Giovanni in rage and horror, tearing at his hair.

He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!

IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Boss, with his hand-tailored shoes ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling:  "How could it be so?"

"It came without ribbons!  It came without tags!

"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

And he puzzled some more, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Boss thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.

"Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!"

Giovanni sighed sadly, almost wistfully, and looked out at the city as the golden glow of dawn slowly seeped over the horizon.

"I knew I should have added that soul-owning clause to their contracts!"

Then he stomped back to his helicopter, gave the sacks a shove, and dumped them off the summit.

Jesse stared at the mangled strand of mistletoe, the realization of that tiny symbol filling her with an unexplainable warmth.

"We forgot," murmured James in a slightly awe-filled voice, turning the mistletoe over in his hand absent-mindedly.  "We forgot what Christmas is really about…"

Taking the hook between his fingers, he raised it between them, the red berries swinging cheerily between their faces as they regarded one another with apprehension.  James smiled, somewhat uncertainly, the act lighting up his face and inspiring his partners' faces to light up as well.

"We may not have a tree.  Or presents, or cookies.  But there's one thing we'll always have that a burglar could never take away."

Jesse smiled back at him, realization dawning on her.  She looked to Meowth, smiling up at the two of them knowingly, then back at James, and clasped her hand over his on the mistletoe's hook.

"You're right," she replied softly.  "It will always be Christmas.  As long as we have each other."

And what happened then…?

Well…the Rockets all say

That all of their criminal hearts

Changed a bit that day!

And the minute they didn't feel so ill over their sappy mutation,

They hurried inside to enjoy a tasty celebration!

Which didn't include unidentifiable ground meat—

To everyone's great elation!

"Butch, are you just going to sit there crying all day or are you going to come celebrate Christmas?"

The hoarse-voiced Rocket wavered momentarily in his relentless wailing, regarding his sister's proposition thoughtfully.

"Will there be stuffing?"

Cassidy sighed.  "Butch, just get out here and get over the presents!  I'll get you another one next time I get my paycheck!"

She left him staring after her drearily, slamming the door behind her in frustration.

His heart nearly bursting out of his chest, thumping hard as it was, James gazed into his partner's blue eyes with immense happiness.

"Merry Christmas, Jesse."

"Merry Christmas, James," smiled back Jesse, and stepping into his arms, she kissed him tenderly, her hand tightening warmly over his own as they held the mistletoe between them.

And standing in the cold room, the sound of soft singing wafting in through the thin walls as Meowth looked on in contained tenderness and amusement, they held each other for a long time—warmed by each other's embrace.  And in that warmth, they shared in a long Christmas kiss so full of heart, it could only have been a kiss of true love.

Meowth tried to hide his benevolent smile, turning away from the couple and going to the door.

"Dere'll be no livin' wit' dem now…" he murmured to himself wryly, and shaking his head sadly, went down to join the party.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

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