To Hell and Back

Summary: "It is easy to go down into Hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air - there's the rub, the task." - Virgil, from Aenid. BB, Angst, Boothcentric. Rated T to be safe. I don't own these characters. I'm just borrowing them for a while. Please don't sue.

A/N: So I've become so Bones deprived that I've decided to start another fic. For those of you that have read my other work in this fandom (Remember When and If Only), I've haven't abandoned the third installment in that series. It's just taking a little more to get it written with this idea warring with that story in my head. I hope that by writing this, I will make room for that again. In the mean time, I hope you will enjoy my latest foray into the Bones universe. Please read and review - all comments are welcome. Scarlet.

Chapter One -

Seeley Booth hesitated before finally knocking on his partner's door. Belatedly, he realized that he should've called before stopping by, but he knew that he would have come regardless of whether it was a good time or not. He was running out of time and he couldn't put this conversation off for much longer.

He knocked again, wondering if he might be waking her and again wishing that he had summoned up the courage to call her before he had come. He hadn't because he had been putting this off for as long as he could - avoiding facing this reality for as long as possible. Now, the day - or the night - had come for him to share his reality with Bones and he couldn't help but feel the trepidation build within him as he anticipated their upcoming conversation. She wasn't going to be happy - especially because he had kept this from her for so long. He wasn't even sure if she would understand or ever forgive him.

Finally, he heard the scrape of metal and the door opened. Bones filled the opening, clad in a simple t-shirt and jeans and he caught himself drinking in the vision of her, storing it away for another time. His eyes lingered on her breasts, admiring how they pushed up against the soft cotton of her white shirt, finally traveling to her waist and out to the slight flare of her hips. Mentally, he shook himself and tried not to think about what he had just caught himself doing. He wasn't overly superstitious, but he didn't like the feeling that settled in his stomach when he realized that he was unconsciously filing all of these little moments away. There was clearly something about this mission that didn't sit well with his subconscious and he hoped it was only the prolonged absence he was about to experience that was filling his gut with dread.

"Booth, what are you doing here?" Her question focused his attention back to her face.

"You know, Bones, I think I will come in. Thanks for asking," he smiled as he reminded her of her chronic lack of social skills.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and turned aside, leaving him a pathway into her home. He surveyed the room as he entered, noticing the glow of her laptop on the desk and the soft music that filled the quiet room.

"You were writing, Bones? Sorry for interrupting."

"It's okay. I was at an impasse anyway. Is there a case?"

He was reminded of all the other times that he had tried to distract her and had failed to do so for very long - if at all. His time had come and he couldn't put it off any longer.

"No, Bones, we don't have a case," he began. "I need to talk to you."

"We're talking," she answered and he found her literalness frustrating.

"Bones, I need to talk to you about something important. That's why I'm here at ten o'clock at night."

"Oh, well, what do you want to want to talk to me about," she asked, shifting her weight and crossing her arms across her chest.

His nerves and the weight of what he was about to discuss caused his frustration to surge within him. He took a couple of steps further into her living room and ran his fingers through his dark hair.

"Geez, Bones, this isn't how it works. How about 'Come in, Booth Want a beer or a glass of wine?' This isn't exactly easy."

She walked up behind him and he turned to face her. Her hand fell on his arm and he took a deep breath. There was no more time for delay.

"A few weeks ago, I accepted an assignment…"

"So there is a case," she interrupted him before he could continue.

"Bones, please, just let me finish." He ran his hand through his hair again. "I was, uh, recruited because of my background and my particular skill set, so I took it." He paused for a beat before continuing. "It's an undercover assignment and I have to leave the day after tomorrow."

"What? You're leaving to work undercover? For how long?"

"Well, that's just it. I don't know. Undercover doesn't usually work that way."

"Am I going, too? I'm going to kill Dr. Goodman if he authorized this without talking to me first."

He laughed half-heartedly. "Bones, there is no way you could ever pull off an undercover assignment. I mean, forget about your notoriety as an author - I've never seen you convincingly lie, even if it's about something small." He sobered slightly. "Besides, I would never sign you up for something like this without talking to you about it first."

He dropped his hand to her shoulder and then walked past her and sat on the couch. "I want you to keep an eye on Parker for me. I'm going to tell Rebecca that I'm being transferred to the Michigan bureau. I don't want her to worry. I need you to back me up on that and then in a couple of months, tell her that I've been assigned a case overseas - something related to Homeland security or something like that."

She dropped to the couch beside him. "You're going to be gone for a while, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he answered, clasping his hands together in front of him and hanging his head. "It's more of a deep cover assignment."

"But, what about Parker and… what is it that's so important that it could take you away from him?"

"Bones, I can't tell you about any of that. I just came to… well, I would feel better if I knew that you were keeping an eye on Parker, too. Rebecca's a good mom, but I'm not going to be here to help her and I trust you."

"Of course, Booth."

Her hand covered the ball of his hands and he opened them, sliding hers between his and then squeezed gently. The warmth of her hand and the heat of her body next to him soothed him and he tried not to think that this would be the last time that he would sit and share her warmth.

Who am I kidding? I haven't even begun to feel her warmth and now I might never have the chance.

He shook his head, chasing the negative thought from his mind. He couldn't begin an undercover assignment - any assignment, really - thinking that he wasn't going to make it to see it completed. He lived with danger every day and this wasn't going to be any different. Well, except that he would be facing these next challenges alone. He had gotten kind of used to having his Bones at his side.

"So, you can't tell me anything? How do I know if you're okay or when you're coming back or…"

"Well, you don't, but I might be able to call or send you an email or something like that, but not very often. Don't change any of your numbers, okay?"

"Of course. Booth?" she paused and he waited patiently for her to continue, the silence stretching between them. "Are you scared?"

Yes.

"What? No, of course not." He sat up straighter and then eased back against the couch cushions, trying to evoke an air of ease that he hadn't felt for several days now.

"So," she drew the word out as she so often did, "I don't have to worry then. Right?"

He nodded his head and she sat back as well. Her shoulder and arm rested against his and they sat quietly, with nothing between them and the music floating around them. A few songs played and then he felt her head drop to his shoulder. Time stretched longer still and he began to think that she might have fallen asleep. Twisting slightly, he peered at her face and was surprised to find her bright eyes staring back at him.

"Booth," her voice was husky when she spoke and it reminded him of the few times in the past that he had had the pleasure of waking her. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too."

His own voice rasped with emotion as he answered and for the life of him he couldn't remember why he had kept those emotions tucked away. He shifted again until he was sitting sideways on the couch, facing her. She sat up and the movement caused her hair to fall across her face. He tucked it behind her ear. His finger lingered and traced the line of her jaw. He watched her throat muscles work as she swallowed noticeably. Cupping the curve of her cheek, he tipped his head until his lips were just a breath away from hers. He longed to taste her like a dying man thirsted for a life-saving taste of water.

"We shouldn't do this."

Why did I just say that?

"We shouldn't?"

If circumstances were different, he might find it amusing that she still found a way to argue with him, even now.

"No, we shouldn't. I'm leaving and that's the only reason why we want to."

His lips were still almost touching hers and he was surprised that he had managed to speak as much as he had without completing the act that he had stopped for some insane reason.

"It is?"

"Isn't it?"

"No, it isn't. That's just the reason why we can't wait any longer."

He didn't need any further encouragement or arguments. After all, all of her arguments were only trying to convince him of doing exactly what he wanted to do. Slowly, he closed the space that remained between them - space that he had let linger between them for far too long.

A/N: A start... please let me know what you think so far? Scarlet.