Cat Obsession
-Skyefinal
Set after 'Indirect Helper' chapters

He didn't know what he did to deserve this.

This referring to Yoruichi, in cat form, laying on his head and sleeping while a quiet Soifon, looking on the verge of fainting from sheer happiness, gently petting Yoruichi near the ears.

"Oh. You again." Hitsugaya said as he carried a stack of papers into his office.

A black cat stretched lazily on his desk. "You got the most comfortable napping spot here."

"I would think all captain offices are furnished with the same materials." Hitsugaya said as he placed the papers on his desk. He didn't twitch as the feline jumped down onto his lap so he would have room to work. While one hand held his quill, the other absentmindedly stroking the cat.

"But they don't have the right angle of sunlight." The car purred. "Nor your lap, HitsuTou."

Hitsugaya let out an annoyed sigh. "Choose one or the other Yoruichi. Preferably Hitsugaya."

"Too long. Personally, I think HitsuTou fits you quite well."

He grunted in response. It was the same conversation over and over so it had lost its original bite and painful as it may be to admit, Hitsugaya actually enjoyed their banter. Despite in the beginning Hitsugaya was almost framed for stealing the Kuchiki family's famous (and expensive) heirloom by the older shinigami, Yoruichi wasn't bad company on days where Hitsugaya had nothing to do but paperwork.

"Whatever."

"I got it the nickname idea from this popular singing group back in the human world. The singer kind of reminds me of you."

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow. "You listen to that crap?"

"You, shorty, don't appreciate music."

"I appreciate music, just not that kind of music."

"Such a deprived life you have." Yoruichi said with a sniff.

"If it means I don't have to listen to that 'music', I'll gladly continue this deprived life." Hitsugaya replied, amusement lacing his voice. He tilted his head. "Does that singer also have white hair?"

The cat laughed. "No, but he acts serious and is very work-driven." A small teasing smile emerged on Yoruichi's face. "He also fails to hide the inner-child within him though."

Yoruichi knew Hitsugaya hated being compared to a child hence why she always tried to rile him up because honestly, keeping all that anger in can't be good. She was disappointed when Hitsugaya barely twitched.

Hitsugaya looked down at the cat, voice deadpanned. "Well, compared to you anyone is considered a child."

Yoruichi hissed and reached for the 'child's' face with a paw, claws out. She was compensated with a slight scratch near her ears. Yoruichi instantly purred, a pile of mush. "Curse you for finding out my weak spots." Hitsugaya smirked, he continued exploiting the older captain's weak spot while working on his paperwork.

A comfortable silence passed, broken only by the small sounds of shuffling papers and purrs. Furry ears twitched, angling towards the entrance.

"Taichou!" The doors slammed open. "I need help!"

Hitsugaya merely took a sip from his tea. He knew better to try getting a word in when his lieutenant was this worked up.

"This week's Shinigami Women's Association task is so difficult! I mean seriously, how on earth do you sneak up on the fastest shinigami? Its-It's unreal! This is unethical! Misuse of us! We should get paid or something for this task! How can Soifon-taichou expect us lieutenants to do this!?"

"I would think after your association's first attempt to get pictures of Kuchiki-taichou would deter you from trying again…"

Matsumoto shook her head. "No, it's not Kuchiki-taichou. It's Shihouin Yoruichi-san."

Hitsugaya choked on his tea as claws sank into his thigh. He waved off Matsumoto's concern and once he regained his voice he spoke. "Why does Soifon-taichou want Shihouin's pictures?"

He ignored how the cat on his lap glared at him in offense. He knew sometimes how vain Yoruichi could be.

"She said Shihouin-san's other form is really, really magnificent and rare since no one knows what her other form is. So if one of us were to take a photo it would sell for quite a bit. Nanao and I are having a race to see who could get the photo first. Whoever does gets a year supply of sake!" Matsumoto ended her sentence with glee, eyes sparkling. "Therefore taichou, please help me!"

She handed Hitsugaya a second camera. "The more people the better chances of finding her!"

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow. "Really? Despite you not knowing her second form?"

His lieutenant deflated. "Er. Well…since you're a captain and all, maybe you have better senses? She was a captain of the Gotei 13 before."

Yoruichi snorted. Hitsugaya wanted to face palm but resisted the urge. "I don't know where you got that idea, but captains are not telepathic."

"But you always know what I'm about to do!"

"That's because you are predictable."

"No I'm not!" Matsumoto huffed. "But putting that aside, will you help me out taichou?"

"Even if I say no you'll still force me to do this."

"Yay!" Matsumoto cheered. "I'm counting on you taichou!" Hitsugaya stared blankly as his second-in-command left his office.

"What an interesting fukutaichou you have, HitsuTou…"

Hitsugaya sighed. "One or the other Yoruichi."

"You think she would've noticed me though." The cat lazily yawned. "Come on, let's go."

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow. "To where? If you haven't noticed I still have paperwork to do."

"You should get some exercise." Yoruichi hopped onto the younger's shoulder. "Let's go visit Byakuya-boy. I'm sure he's in need of company, he's the type to die if he's not talking to someone."

"Really…" Hitsugaya drawled out as he stood up. "I wouldn't have imagined."

"Why are you here?"

Byakuya did not move his eyes away from reading his novel. Despite the numerous white bandages wrapped around his body, he still carried a noble area. To Hitsugaya, the older captain's aura was screaming at him to leave and get the hellcat away from this room.

"Yo! How've you been Byakuya-boy?" Yoruichi jumped onto Byakuya's lap and knocked the book out of his hands. The noble made a nose of disapproval and picked Yoruichi up by the neck. It was a comical sight, the normally stoic captain holding a cat at eye level and having a conversation with said cat.

"Well before you arrived, Shihouin Yoruichi."

"Don't say that! You strive for social interactions!"

Byakuya held Yoruichi towards Hitsugaya. "Take this away from me, or else I will not be held responsible for any actions in the near future."

Yoruichi jumped into Hitsugaya's arms and cried into his neck. "How cruel! I was only doing it all for your sake Byakuya-boy!"

"Leave."

Before Yoruichi could reply, all three captains heard a small click followed by footsteps running away from Byakuya's room.

Hitsugaya stared at the door before turning back to face the noble. "Why did your sister run away?"

"Rukia has acquired a habit of carrying around a camera." Byakuya explained. "I suspect Soifon-taichou has something to do with this."

"I see…"Hitsugaya looked thoughtful. "I guess this means your cover is blown Yoruichi. Kurosaki probably told her about your other form."

"I don't particularly mind." Yoruichi yawned. "The attacks will go to you."

"…Attacks?"

"Soifon-taichou is quite protective of her former owner." Byakuya spoke up, a hint of amusement lit up his eyes. "The last person to casually lay a hand on Shihouin was taken out of duty for a month."

Hitsugaya stilled as he considered what picture Rukia took before she fled. He was pretty sure it was him holding Yoruichi nuzzling his neck. He looked down at the cat, "I hate you."

When Hitsugaya and Yoruichi arrived to Hitsugaya's office they weren't surprised to see a visitor tapping their foot and waiting for the both of them.

"Finally!" Soifon shouted. "How dare you keep me waiting!"

"We did not arrange for a meeting." Hitsugaya calmly replied. "So technically I didn't keep you waiting."

"That's not the point!" Soifon slammed her hand on his desk, knocking a teacup over and soaking a few papers. "What are your intentions to Yoruichi-sama!?"

Hitsugaya's eyebrows twitched in annoyance. "For your sake, those papers better not have been important."

"Answer the question!"

Yoruichi gave a lazy yawn and Soifon nearly collapsed from the cuteness but glared at Hitsugaya when Yoruichi nuzzled into his neck. He sighed, "If you must know, I have no intentions to Yoruichi, she just barged into my office and uses me as a personal pillow."

"What?!"

"HitsuTou is so comfy." Yoruichi said in a singsong voice. "I don't think there's anything comfier than his lap!"

As Hitsugaya hissed out a 'you're not helping' to Yoruichi, Soifon turned red and tried to convince the cat that she is much more comfortable than a male. Yoruichi disagreed and maneuvered onto Hitsugaya's head, claiming it as the number one spot of comfort. The younger captain calmly sat down and tried to recover the soaked papers. I'm not even going to bother anymore. This is ridiculous.

The fight continued as Hitsugaya sorted and signed his paperwork.

"Why does he have a nickname but not me!?"

"Soifon is Soifon and Hitsugaya is HitsuTou."

"Yoruichi-sama, that doesn't explain anything!"

Yoruichi yawned again. "I'm going to take a nap."

"Then please sleep on me!"

"No way."

"Feel free to move to a new location Yoruichi. Preferably somewhere far away from me."

"No way HitsuTou. You're a great pillow to sleep on. If only you'll pet me then it'll be perfect."

"Can't help you there if you're on my head."

"Then I shall pet you Yoruichi-sama as you sleep!"

"…That's a little disturbing."

"A-anything so Yoruichi-sama can sleep peacefully!"

"Right."

"Do as you please, just as long as I can sleep peacefully."

"Yes! You can sleep without any worries!"

"Ugh. I don't care anymore. Just keep quiet so I can finish my paperwork that you ruined."

And that's how Matsumoto found all three of them. A cat sleeping peacefully on her captain's head and Soifon-taichou looking ecstatic while petting said cat. She wisely decided to collect all the finished paperwork and quietly leave.

Maybe later she'll try to sneak in a few photos.

A/N: Oh hello...I update sporadically haha...