Final Chapter: No Harm In Watching
Hours ticked by and the servants on the lower floors began to worry. The chambers of their mistress had gone eerily quiet. No more arguing or sounds of glass breaking came from her rooms. One would have thought this to be a relief –surely she had calmed down- but in a household where silence was feared above all else the servants dared not disturb their female lord. It was the calm before a storm and now more than ever they feared what might happen if they ventured to the second floor. The consensus among the staff was if she was hurt and dying let Walter find her dead when he returned.
The reason for the sudden peace was much more simple than they would have believed. The silence was merely due to the fact Integra was no longer in her rooms.
Stretching her arms over her head and taking a deep breath, she relaxed in her father's favorite chair. It had been years since she entered his chambers. After that night with Alucard she just hadn't found the courage to come back in. The atmosphere had changed; the room never felt the same. Walter had even tried convincing her to move into the master suite but somehow it had seemed wrong; almost sacrilegious. To her these where still her father's rooms.
Tonight though she could over look the unease she felt entering the foreign chambers because after the events with the counsel she needed her father's strength and guidance. Her once childhood sanctuary was the only place she knew she'd find it.
Rubbing the temple where she felt a headache coming on Integra wondered what she was going to do with all the men in her life. - A bunch of twats if you asked her- They were suffocating with their melodrama and childish fits. It took every ounce of control not to scream and rip her hair out in their presence.
Thinking of childish fits Alucard's most recent outburst had been exceptionally nasty. The objective it seemed of showing her those vulgar images was to upset her. Too bad for him and his plans she was above those things.
'God', she thought, 'was he really that insecure? To think I would betray him?'
After all they had been through for him to not trust her. She had thought he knew her better than that.
Integra considered how her father would handle a juvenile vampire but quelled the idea. Alucard had probably believed he knew her father also and look where that got him. Tossed aside like some forgotten relic. Maybe even at the counsels wishes. Even tortured Integra vowed to never reveal this but she understood the hurt he must have felt. Alucard always talked about her father and Walter as friends, yet what kind of friend locks you away? Alucard had ever right to be mad. To the vampire history was repeating itself.
That did not excuse him from being a jerk though.
Lazily Integra stroked the worn leather surface of the arm rest. Inhaling deeply, Arthur's pleasant smoky sent wafted to her nose incasing her in a blanket of warmth. So many years and it still smelled exactly the same as if he had just been sitting there. The aroma was reassuring.
Next to the chair sat a brandy glass and empty canter. Young Hellsing smiled remembering how he would sit here at times, glass in hand lecturing his daughter, listening to how her day went. Integra nuzzled the leather, the spicy undertones of alcohol tickling her nose. In front of the glass sat the box which gave her father his exotically rich ashen scent. A silver box, a gift from her mother, which housed the imported Italian cigarillo's he sometimes smoked or would offer to company. Playfully her fingers found the latch and lifted the lid. Taking one out she twirled it in her fingers before tucking it under her nose to breathe in its stench. Tucking her legs to her chest Integra curled into herself all the scents combined creating an illusion that her father held her in the warmth of the chair.
Comforted by these thoughts Integra's eyes dropped until she was nestled peacefully in sleep.
That's how Alucard found his master a few hours later when he decided she had enough time to cool down. He wasn't there to apologize, before coming he had determined his anger had been just. How dare Integra stand there acting like nothing had happened? Granted nothing had, Alucard was unable to ask his question before resentment took over; still she should have known. Seeing her, a fury of emotions, that stubborn set in her jaw… The creature knew the little girl would take her chance at power; it was what he would have done after all.
Alucard slowly opened his eyes as he walked out of the shadows. Arthur's room was dim with only a solitary lamp to chase the night into the corners. Yet his young master sat sleeping by the window as far away as possible from the protecting light. A devilish sneer graced his impassive features as he took the site in. She seemed so serene, so tranquil. It made him sick. Why did she get to sleep peacefully? The vampire wanted so badly to shake her awake and demand an answer to the question he had yet to voice. Apprehension of the young girl's response however stayed his actions and instead Alucard chose to wait for her to wake up on her own.
Integra stretched letting out a big yawn as she unfolded her body from the chair. The nap left her invigorated and refreshed, just what she had needed to clear her mind and regain control of her mental faculties.
Almost skipping to her father's closet and fingering the brass latch, young Hellsing felt like a new woman. Nothing, man or monster would stop her now. Upon awaking she had determined her new course of action.
'Let those bastards try and hold me.'
With the slightest touch the closet door fell open and squeaked just a hair. Although it had been a few years since the armoire had last been unlocked it still smelled like Arthur just like everything else in the room. Giddy Integra flung it open and grabbed the first object her hand touched. A white dress shirt starched at the collar with silver buttons. She fingered the material feeling the weave as she rubbed her thumb repeatedly over the soft cloth, endanger of leaving a bald spot when she was done. It was a simple shirt really, a fine cotton with an obviously high thread count. Just the thing her father would wear. She buried her face in the shirt hoping to extract the last bit of comfort. It was almost time for her to stop reminiscing and get back to work.
"Having a nice night?" Came the refined purr of her servant. Integra winced while mentally scolding herself for having been caught flitting about like some home sick adolescent. Slowly she turned in the direction of the voice; firmly placing the scowl she had been perfecting to mask her embarrassment. The creases deepened though when she saw where Alucard was. At some point he had settled himself on her father's bed propping his back up with the head board. On his lap was some random book he had been flipping through prior to her awakening.
"I came to see how you were doing but I seem to have interrupted something. I guess I'll leave." He sneered.
"It's alright Alucard, you can stay. You've already ruined the moment." The dress shirt slipped through her fingers like sand and pooled on the floor. Taking care to step over it she took a few paces closer to the bed.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked bluntly, wanting to get this conversation over with.
Lacing his fingers behind his head Alucard shrugged as if the discussion was already boring him. "You said you'd think about it."
-A few hours ago at the Convention of Twelve-
"Sir Integra I fear you do not understand the gravity of the situation." The Knight before Integra was yelling at her now as if by raising his voice and slamming his fist on the table in a display of dominance would change her mind.
She raised a weary hand at the speaker tired of having the same conversation. From the moment the young member took her chair the topic of the night was her abdicating as Leader of the Hellsing organization. Each member of the Convention of Twelve took turns making her feel worse than she already was. Some yelled in distain, cheeks puffed out with faces turning tomato red. Others tried a more comforting approach trying to convince her this option was for her benefit. A few, like Sir Islands only told her what a horrible job she had done.
"I'm sorry to give you cause to believe I do not grasp the seriousness of your accusations, but I refuse to let the recent nights activities sway my decision No one but the Queen can order me down."
"Damnit you stubborn woman! Your actions have humiliated this institute. How can you sit there so-so cold… you're unfit to lead the Hellsing organization."
"You lack experience." Others piped in while a few nodded in consent.
"Well I cannot gain experience with you all ordering me to the side lines.As bad as the situation was the enemy was contained and we have learned from our mistakes. Last night's events will not be repeated."
"Of course Sir Integra, but perhaps it would be better if someone were to help you." Sir Penwood interjected. Integra thought he was an ok chap, a little too passive and tolerant for her taste. Still she was grateful he was on her side.
"I do have help."
"The help you speak of is an abomination, a mockery to all your family has stood for."
"I never knew you felt that way about Walter Sir Hedgebrook."
"You know whom I speak of! Without that thing you'd be nothing." He hissed.
"I think we all need a moment to calm ourselves." Sir Islands sharp tenor comments broke the fight up. "However speaking about your pet monster, we would like to ask why you haven't sealed the vampire away again like your father. It is an unstable weapon that should not be used so frivolously. "
Sir Islands waited for a response but when it was clear the young Knight was not in the mood to provide an answer he continued.
"Your father knew what unleashing the monster could do to the world. He had the foresight to contain him, lock him away before he could cause serious damage. We want you to consider the same Integra. Locking away the creature now would also be a good way of showing your willingness to amend your earlier mistakesa good gesture on your part."
Integra lowered her eyes unwilling to make contact with these vultures"Of course I'll think on these matters you have brought up gentlemen. I will carefully consider all that has been said today and give each judgment the careful consideration it deserves."
"Your right and I gave that thought the full two seconds it deserved."
"What did you decide?" Alucard pulled his hat down to shield his eyes then defensively crossed his arms to his chest. He wanted to believe she'd never turn on him like her father, but he had made the mistake before. He needed to hear it from her mouth. Somehow hearing the words would make it more tangible.
"Cowards, to fear an insignificant vampire such as yourself." Beneath the brim of his hat Alucard's eyes shown at her attempt to mock him and together they shared a silent laugh. "Don't worry, if you ever betrayed us, or I thought you getting out of control I'd kill you myself."
"I'll hold you to that promise."
Then Integra's mouth turned downward and her eyes lost their mirth.
"Why aren't you mad? My family locked you away, discarded you."
"Your father was a smart man; he had the wisdom to know he could not contain me forever. That, if given the chance I'd turn on him. He made the right choice."
"You must hate me…"
Tilting his head with a cocky grin Alucard looked upon her curious at her choice of words. She had not referred to her family but was instead concerned about how he viewed her. It was almost touching to have her concerned about his feelings. That she valued his opinion of her. "No" He curtly said already tired of the topic but decided further explanation was in order when he saw her disbelief.
"Because you're mine, my master, my commander, my sweet, sweet little girl."
"Please I'm practically an adult. I even now carry the official title of Sir."
"Have I taught you nothing?" Alucard's tone was placid but saturated in venom. For added emphasis he swung his legs over the side of the bed tossing the book aside and shook his head in disgust at her juvenile ideas of authority. "If you want power take it. No title, no piece of paper or act of God will change a man's heart."
He'd never tell her, it was something she would have to figure out alone but Integra was already worth a thousand of those so called men she compared herself too, worth more to him even than Abraham. "It's disgusting begging for their respect."
Pinching the bridge of her nose the young girl let out an exasperated sigh. He sure knew how to get worked up over nothing. "Father how'd you do it?" She asked the empty room.
Arthur had always been so stoic, so commanding. How did he not snap?
Integra was not so foolish as to believe she knew everything about her father. The man she knew was quite and dignified but there were times when he laughed or she caught him wistfully glancing at a woman passing by that Integra knew her father had been so much more. That whatever he had been in his past he had given it all up, not for her sake but for the sake of the country, for Queen and duty.
History was littered with men and women like her father; people who surrendered one thing to obtain another. Now it seemed the new Hellsing leader was faced with the same dilemma. She had to become stronger, worthy of the power granted her in name and title. Integra had a choice to make, what would she give up? She had no friends or family so no sacrifice was needed there. She considered herself rational and mature for her age and she had no vices to speak of. Sure she could win the conventions favor by locking Alucard away but that was already out of the equation. What was left to give? What had others given up before her?
"Can I ask you something Alucard?"
He didn't move so she took his silence as consent.
"I don't understand, you were human once." She took a step closer, scrutinizing him with her hard azure eyes as if the answer could be found on his person.
There was a pause. Alucard could not help thinking this was more of a statement than a question – and almost told her so - but decided to relent and confirm her accusations.
"Yes."
"You loved once." Another step.
"Yes."
"What happened? What turned your heart to ash? Did you forget how it felt?"
"No."
"Did you forget her?" This step had Integra leaning down so both where eye level with each other. A sense of unease at her proximity was quickly tossed aside as Alucard recognized it as a useless sensation. It did not help though that the monster felt trapped watching vulnerable cherry lips purse in a meditated frown.
"Never." Alucard blamed the crack in his voice on account of his mouth being dry.
Quickly Integra shot up, resting a fist under her chin deep in contemplation; letting his answer roll around her head, testing it, seeing if it made sense. If he remembered everything, how it felt –most importantly how he once loved- the pain, agony, immense joy and immeasurable sorrows of life, how could he do the things he had done?
"I became a monster." He smiled like a Cheshire cat as his master jumped startled she had received an answer.
"You were also a man."
"Maybe I wasn't that good of a man." Slyly he slipped his hands back behind his head, a toothy grin sweeping his mouth, as he lay back on the bed.
Slowly Integra put the puzzle together reconstructing his sacrifice for supremacy. In his own lecture Alucard admitted no act of God could change his heart. God must have cursed him only with immortality to give him time to realize his crimes. It was his own convictions that made him a demon. He chose to drink the blood of the fallen. It was his own choice to feel no guilt for the lives he took. He gave up his humanity to obtain a chance at ultimate power.
In the back of her mind she heard a gruff voice say, 'does it scare you?'
'No.'
They stayed in companionable silence for awhile until Integra decided to begin a new topic.
"I love my father…But I meant it when I said I hated him for leaving. Sometimes I wonder if he knew he was leaving me in a pit of jackals."
"One word and I can kill them for you. No one would have to know."
"Everything's so simple for you."
"Humans over complicate everything. If some ones standing in your way; move them."
"At least my father did something right." Integra spun around her skirt billowing with the force of the movement and plopped down on an unoccupied section of the bed.
"Oh and what might that be?"
Jabbing a finger into his ribs for his snobbish tone Integra observed the vampire, wondering how to convey what she felt. She wanted to say thank you for all he had done. In his own sick twisted way Alucard watched over her. He pushed her to the limit but never gave her more than she could handle. He taught her to be sane in a world of madness. So many little things, like how he'd lurk in a corner just so she'd know she was not alone. Or say some vulgar comment to get her mind off some worry. Dutifully he had picked up her training where her father had left off. Part of who she was today was thanks to the monster before her. However thank you just didn't seem to cut it.
Impishly she flicked the wide brim of his hat then carelessly tossed it off. "I told you not to wear it inside." She grinned as he began growling his annoyance at her actions. Alucard started to shift ready to get up and grab his poor abused hat, yet a strong hand on his chest where his heart should be kept him firmly in place. He looked up to see Integra with a serious expression on her face. Brushing loose strands of hair from his eyes the creature was caught off guard when his little girl bent down and placed a chastised kiss at the corner of his mouth.
It was brief, hardly passionate or intimate. More like a child kissing their parents good night but to a monster the kiss spoke volumes. She might as well have declared war on her Queen. For what Integra just did went beyond blasphemy.
As quickly as it happened Integra was back to her original position looking at him with all the innocence and wide eyed glee she possessed.
"He left me with you." She finally replied to his earlier question.
Looking at her servant the young Hellsing leader came to her decision. If all she had to sacrifice was herself, than that's what she would do. Mind, body and soul. She'd give it all until nothing was left as long as she could stand beside her monster.
"Alucard I…" She choked on her sorrow at the realization of what this meant. Unable to finish her thought.
'To hell with it he knows.'
At first Alucard was in shock, he just laid there emotionless wondering if what happened had been real. Replaying the moment in his mind he concluded yes, this was no hoax, the leader of the Hellsing organization, a protestant knight had kissed him. Now it seemed she was about to cry. Unable to think of an appropriate explanation for her irrational behavior Alucard tentatively brought a gloved hand up to her forehead to check for a fever.
The kind gesture made Integra blush and strengthened the resolve for what she planned on doing next. Placing a knee to rest against the bed she slid her body closer to his. This would be her last opportunity to do something rash before she gave it all up. So the young teenage girl decided she might as well make it memorable.
In a graceful motion Integra swung her other leg around so she was now straddling his hips. Leaning over him her soft straw colored hair tumbled loosely against his neck veiling the two in their own private world. Tenderly she placed her burning forehead against his own cool milky skin while her fingers delicately played across his cheeks. It was now or never. Integra had never kissed a man before…she hoped it was worth it.
Alucard waited in anticipation for what he knew was to come. Already the blood had rushed to her face igniting her like white heat from within, causing the soft tint of her lips to darken with passion. He was a little disappointed he'd be unable to look into her eyes -seeing how her eyes were shut tight- but this way suited him better since his master would be unable to see the smile her actions brought to him. It was unexpected moments like these that made damnation worth it.
Hesitantly Integra leaned in further and this time kissed him on the lips. The contact between them was soft at first; she did not know what to expect kissing a No Life King. The initial shock of coming into contact with a freezing mouth had her gasping for air like one would after stepping into an icy stream. However she had felt a subtleness to his lips she decided she liked and deepened the kiss, offering to warm his lips with hers.
Accepting the offer Alucard returned the favor by brushing a canine against her bottom lip. Integra squirmed but a quick hand placed at the base of her neck kept her from breaking away. He nipped at the sensitive flesh earning a faint moan from his master's throat. He felt her lips part in a shy smile and he knew without a doubt what an evil being he was. With her tender lips pressed against his, he'd never stop to say this was wrong or that she was too young. If he was a better man, a real man he'd pull away. Lucky for him he was neither of those things; He was a monster so he held on.
When Integra finally broke away and their mouths separated Alucard frowned at the sudden loss of contact. He wasn't done yet, he did not want her to leave because he knew when she left this would never happen again and there was more to do. Taking the opportunity their current positions presented him Alucard quickly sat up and pulled her back to the bed. This time it would be Integra against the sheets on the receiving end of a kiss.
Unlike his master Alucard was not nervous about what he was doing. Where she had been gentle and inexperienced Alucard showed her what it was to be passionate and fierce. His kiss was made to leave bruises; after all if this was his one chance the vampire refused to hold back.
So he pushed into her mouth until her lips parted with the force of the kiss allowing his tongue to advance further in. Together they explored their new findings taking in the others taste while reveling in the coarse actions. It was a sensation that had them both groping for more.
For Alucard the excitement did not end there. All around him he could hear her intake of air, the rush of blood quickening the pulse. The sounds of the night, which the vampire took the most satisfaction in, were being pummeled by the hurried breaths and throaty pants of an adolescent girl. The slamming of her heart beat became his, her breath began to fill his lungs. He felt her all around him, teasing him with the slightest graze of her tongue or the faintest sweeps of her fingers through his hair.
Alucard wanted her to moan louder for him, to fill the room with her screams, so he brushed his fangs across the line of her jaw until his teeth where resting next to her ear. Eagerly he bit down on the exposed flesh, hard enough to be rewarded with a rasping yelp but not enough to draw blood. He placed his lips at the newest mark he had given her feeling the roar of her pulse beat against him. It was a strong rhythm, giving him pleasure knowing he had been the one to create it, not out of fear but from some form of intimacy. With her lithe form writhing beneath him Alucard realized her had forgotten how it felt.
This time when he captured her mouth again it was not as rough. It was almost tender except for the claws gripping desperately at Integra's back.
Integra felt the hunger and need behind the force of his menstruations and pulled Alucard further down by the collar of his coat. She found herself just as greedy as him, hungrily seeking his fleeting caress. Having him above her was sending the little Hellsing into a tail spin. It was all too much, he was too much. She swore she felt every touch, every fiber of cloth, every pin prick of light. The sheets beneath her scratched at her exposed legs while his kisses fell like jack hammers across her responsive flesh.
This she concluded had been worth it and she wanted to experience more.
Reaching behind her back she pried a gloved hand from where he had been holding her. Bringing his hand to rest against her cheek she nestled against the palm before nipping at his wrist.
Intrigued by her actions Alucard momentarily stopped the onslaught of her mouth to see what Integra planned next. Looking up he saw she no longer kept her eyes closed revealing to him burning mirrors of blue. Through her eyes he saw himself, what she was seeing through the haze of lust. A devil among men, a murderer of innocence, an untamed beast; Integra had no delusions of what he was. Yet she still loved him, even forgave him, not despite of what he was but because of that.
Although he knew this would never go past tonight he would admit just this once he had loved her from the moment he heard her cry.
Alucard noticed while he had been reflecting on the situation a slender leg began to slide between them, up his outer thigh, stopping after finding its place at the base of his waist. He followed Integra's direction as she took his hand and deposited it on the underside of her leg. Slowly she guided his hand past the folds of her skirt, along the curve of her thigh, until it rested against her rear. After making sure he was not going anywhere she let his hand go and wrapped both arms around his neck entangling her fingers in his hair. In a fluid movement she pushed forward, arching back, rolling her hips along his groin.
It was a lingering migration causing Alucard to throw his head back in a guttural snarl.
Not one to be out matched, he reciprocated the motion by pulling her pelvis back against him with one hand firmly clutching her rear and drove his covered member between her quivering thighs. At first the movement was deep but with each pant from her now swollen mouth he felt the ache in his loins grow and began grinding into her harder splaying random kisses across her face, down her neck, even her forehead.
The monster could not help thinking how supple she was against his hard body, as if she was made to fit in his arms. With that thought Alucard rammed his elongated shaft further against her heated center. She was made for him. His mouth traveled further down her body until the rapid rise of her chest brought her breast brushing against his lips. He bit down on the offered flesh and tugged at the firm mound between layers of cloth leaving tiny slits where his teeth had been.
Integra dug her nails into his scalp, rocking into his thrust as a husky whimper racked her throat. Then the sensation of his teeth digging into sensitive skin knocked the wind from her lungs. She inhaled choking for air never able to get enough.
Realizing this was about to cross a line that should have never been touched she relented and knew this had to end before her plans went to waste. Integra raked her fingers down to the base of his neck and sunk her nails in further. Hooking a leg behind his knee she pushed into his next thrust while rolling to the side. Once again she had him pinned to the bed her body shaking above his.
The monster watched mesmerized as her chest heaved with the rhythmic intake of breath, her knuckles turning white where she gripped the collar of his shirt. Sensual lips parted trying to find the ability to speak but only breathy pants would form.
In his life Alucard had feared one thing, God. Now undead he had nothing to fear because God had already abandoned him. At least that's what had been his understanding until now. This one scrawny little girl, a tangle of limbs and hair above him made him tremble like no god could; for God was merciful while she held the capacity for immeasurable cruelty. So he feared to hear what she had to say, what losing contact would mean for the two. Somehow this felt like a good bye and Alucard did not like the way their brief encounter was ending.
Tracing his thumb over the battered part of her lower lip he tried to sit back up but she twisted his collar with such force it would have choked a normal man, slamming him back down by the throat.
Softly Integra smiled and bit the tip of his finger at the entrance to her mouth. "This is the only part of me they cannot have."
With that said she swiftly rose from the bed and pulled her blouse up over her head. Tossing it on the floor with her father's shirt she reached into the armoire and pulled a crisp replacement out.
Bewildered Alucard turned to watch her change; wistfully remembering every curve of her body, counting every scar on her back. Until the new shirt was pulled into place signifying the end.
Knowing their informal time together was over Alucard took up his former visual by lacing his fingers behind his head. The indifferent mask he commonly wore slipped back on as if nothing had happened.
Taking note of the rest of the display he noticed Integra's skirt came next which was carelessly flung with no concern to where it landed. Against her thigh he saw a hand sized bruise where he must have squeezed a bit too hard and he smirked inwardly. It stroked his ego to know he had left evidence of their tryst speckled across her body. At least for the next few days there would be no denying what they had done.
Once the skirt was gone Integra opted for a pair of green slacks and jacket to match. It was a hideous color concealing her thin frame in an outfit three sizes too big, hiding all traces of femininity making her appear androgynous. If it wasn't for her long hair one might mistake her for Arthur's son instead of daughter.
Quietly ignoring the glares from the monster still on the bed Integra walked over to the table with the cigar box and picked out a cigarillo for herself. Snatching the lighter kept in the container Integra prepared for a new day of work. It was her hope that with these mementos from her father's room she would remind the other members of who she was and the authority being the child of Arthur Hellsing held.
'Oh yes, how cruel my little girl can be', Alucard reflected closing his churning red eyes on her retreating form. Why couldn't she have stayed his little girl forever?
"Let me turn you." He said, nothing in his tone betrayed the panic gripping his blackened heart.
Integra stopped at the door twirling the cigar between her fingers. Her mouth twitched with the slightest of smiles. Leisurely as if contemplating a response she placed the thin cigar between trembling lips.
"No…" Finally came her languid reply as she lit the cigarillo. "You wouldn't love me if I changed."
With nothing left to say she walked away unable to bear turning around and facing him. One look and she knew the frail wall holding back her heart would crack. This would be her sacrifice, Integra told herself, to give up the affection and comfort of another person - or in her case monster -, to forgo her femininity, to abandon her dreams. Soon he'd understand, they all would, what she was willing to sacrifice. She'd steal her heart against the scrutiny of the world and gladly become what they called her behind her back The Iron Maiden.
They called her cold now she scoffed…she was about to show them Antarctica. She'd become untouchable, a woman to fear. Her name, her family's name, would send the hearts of men and monsters quacking.
With a new attitude learned from her servant, a new suit given by her dad, Integra could not wait to tell the Convention of her decision.
The End. No more. Fin.
I am done with this one people! You tell me how I did. Cause damned if I know.