As you have been told many times, DBZ is © Akira Toriyama and Bird Studios

Which means I own nothing except my own characters

Anyway, on with the show!

"Oh my God…"

Selena stared out at the mass of abandoned clothes lying in the street. She reached behind her, and clutched her bo staff in uneasiness. All of the clothes belonged to men, women, and children of every size, age, and race. Some of the clothes, mostly the shirts, had holes in them. Some guns and weapons were lying next to the clothes, indicating that the wearers were trying to defend themselves.

Selena, not to be overwhelmed so easily, jumped back on her hovering swoop bike and cruised down the street. The air beneath her small hovercraft disturbed some of the clothes and items. Selena cautiously looked around as she continued down the street for any sign of the attacker. She couldn't see anything suspicious, and she especially couldn't feel any ki signatures. She noticed that many of the doors were kicked in and some of the windows were shattered almost completely. In a telephone booth lay a green shirt of a man, and a phone hanging off of its hook.

She also noticed several cars that had crashed into buildings or telephone polls, and slumped on the wheels were stabbed shirts. Selena parked her swoop next to one, and looked through the broken windows.

She shivered at the thought. It was just like in the horror movies. Deciding that she didn't feel safe in the ghost town Sancho City had become, she jumped back on her swoop and pulled her staff from the sheathe on her back. The staff was a wooden staff with a large, diamond shaped jewel at the very top. It was a ki crystal, ki energy turned into a solid gem. She could concentrate her ki into the crystal and form an energy blast strong enough to wipe out a whole forest. It was her deadliest weapon, the ki staff.

She took the swoop off park, and motored away from the crashed cars. She switched the hover gears to a higher setting, forcing the bike to propel upward, further off the ground. She wanted to stay off the streets and be in the air. She felt safer that way. Still she looked around the streets and buildings as she cruised at a lofty ten feet off the ground. She still didn't feel safe, even though she couldn't feel any ki readings at all.

Suddenly, she felt a huge burst of ki right in front of her, and looked to see a ki blast headed her way. The energy burst hit her swoop, and it exploded, causing Selena to fall from it and straight to the ground on her back.

"Ow…" she moaned. Then she noted she was alive, and immediately jumped to her feet and took off running. "AAAA! Luck of the Irish! I can't believe that I didn't just die!" Something jumped in front of her, and palm punched her sixteen feet away. Selena skidded on her shoulder and side to a stop, then quickly stood up with her staff in her hands. She didn't even feel that hit coming. Before she could even take a defensive position, something ran at her. A horrible monster she had never seen before was rushing to her at cheetah speed. The only thing she could do in her fear and panic was scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

^

Cell lunged for the girl with his tail posed for the kill. Her life energy and soul were his for the taking, and he so desperately needed it. Piccolo and Tien were on to him, and he needed a huge power boost for his quick getaway. The girl on the swoop was just what he was praying for. She was more than enough according to his sensors.

A power level of 20. Not bad for an average human off the street… He had previously thought as she had entered the town to see his bodyless carnage. He stalked her the rest of the way through town until she tried to fly up higher in the air. He had to stop her before the Namek or the triclops could see her. Now, he had her right where he wanted her. A power level of 20 to his 5,000,000 was not a problem at all.

She screamed and he prepared to lunge and pin her to the ground with his tail. Suddenly, she vanished, and Cell skidded to a halt, causing his body to turn sideways in the swerve.

Too late… he groaned to himself, looking up at the air. He saved her. He could see Piccolo holding the girl in one arm, and firing a Makono Blast with his free hand. Cell quickly jumped out of the way, letting the harmful energy decimate the spot where he was standing. He hid behind an unharmed, parked car and waited for the right moment to strike again.

Piccolo landed on the ground, and set the girl down.

"Get out of here." He ordered her. She looked back at him with fear in her eyes.

"What?"

"I said get out of here!" he barked, pushing her shoulder as a signal to leave immediately. "Don't stay here! Go!" Not to be ordered for a third time, Selena ran as fast as she could while Piccolo scanned the area for his prey. Cell was an android, so he could hide his power level among his mechanized bones and muscles. That frustrated the hell out of Piccolo, because he couldn't find Cell unless the monster attacked someone.

"Look out!" Tien called from the air. Then Piccolo spotted Cell making a mad dash for the leaving girl. Piccolo flew right behind him.

"Oh no you don't!" Piccolo called after Cell. The android ignored him, and set his sights on the girl.

Selena quickened her pace, hearing the monster's running steps smash loudly behind her. She could hear him get so close to her that he could reach out and stab her then and there. Cell closed in on her, and swiped the back of her head with a hand. She fell sideways to the ground and out of the monster's path. She dropped her staff, so she tried to shield herself by curling up in a tight ball and hiding her face under her arms. She heard the monster's loud steps running towards her, determined to kill her like he did the people of Sancho City.

She dared to peak behind her barrier to see the monster charging towards her, and then her rescuer tackling the beast to the ground, and proceeding to punch its lights out. The monster defended with its arms, and tried to strike the man with its tail. Selena took a closer look at the tail, and noticed the syringe on the very end of it. Long, sharp, and deadly enough to kill a man.

Someone landed next to her, and helped her up.

"Are you alright?" a man's voice asked. She quickly grabbed her staff before fully standing up.

"Yeah." She answered, looking at her second rescuer. Unlike the first one, who had green skin, pointed ears, and overall looked like he came from outer space, the second one looked more human, but he just had one extra eye in the middle of his forehead. Today was just getting too weird for her. "Who are you?"

"No time now." The man shook his head. "C'mon, I gotta get you outta here." He grabbed her wrist and began leading her down a nearby alley.

"Tenshinhan!" Cell roared in the triclops's direction. "Get back here with my prey!" Cell would have run after him if he wasn't locked in desperate combat with the Namek warrior.

"Tenshinhan?" Selena wondered, looking at the back of the man's head.

"Call me Tien." He requested over his shoulder. He kept running and dragging her with him until they reached the other side of the alley, and onto a separate street. "Okay, we're just about out of here…this way!"

"Wait!" Selena stopped, holding her ground firmly. She glared at him, still trying to recover from her encounter. "Listen, Mr. Tien, I wanna know what's going on here! What was that thing?!"

"I'll explain everything later." He assured, tugging on her wrist. "Let's get you out of here." He couldn't get her to budge. She stayed where she was, feet firmly planted on the ground.

"You tell me what's going on now!" she suggested. "What was that thing?"

"A man-eating monster, alright?! Now c'mon!"

"And you're just going to abandon your friend back there?!"

"Hey, he's fought that thing before. He knows what he's doing. He'll be fine, now let's go…"

"No." Selena firmly stated. "I want to help kill it."

"What?! You've got to be kidding…"

"I don't kid about this kind of stuff. I don't want a monster like that running around and killing people. Take me to it. I want to help kill it."

"You talk like you're a guardian, kid. Are you sure you can…"

"Let's just say that I hung around a guardian for too long." Selena insisted, clutching her staff. "Please, Mr. Tien, trust me. Take me back to it. I'm not afraid."

"You were plenty afraid of it back there." Tien pointed out. That earned him an angrier look from Selena.

"It took me by surprise, alright?! Now take me to it! NOW!!!"

Well, Tien was left with no choice…

^

Cell and Piccolo's fight rocketed into the air. Cell launched the fastest punches he could pull while Piccolo blocked every single one of them with his forearms and hands. When Piccolo tried to pull a punch of his own, Cell caught it in his clawed hand and both were locked in a push for power. They both pitched in their free hands for more strength, but both were very evenly matched. One and the other wouldn't budge.

Then, Cell caught something out of the corner of his eye. He kept his concentration on Piccolo, and slightly turned his head to look down at the ground. He saw the girl rushing to the scene of the fight, then aim the jeweled end of her staff at the two fighters. Cell smiled to himself, and turned back to Piccolo.

"Who's the girl?"

"Eh?" Piccolo blinked, trying not to loose his concentration.

"You know her. Who is she, Piccolo?"

"Keep her out of this." Piccolo growled through his clenched teeth. "Her life is mine."

"I'm sure she'll make a lovely wife for you." Cell laughed, slowly arching his back, leaning his head away. Without warning, Cell straightened his back again, and smashed his head into Piccolo's forehead. The Namek lost his concentration, and Cell threw his opponent to the ground. Piccolo was smashed into the cement street, but he slowly began to raise himself to his knees. Cell dove down to the Namek, tail arched and ready to rid himself of his persistent hunter. Suddenly, the girl ran in front of Piccolo to protect him, and raised the jewel end of her staff at Cell. The jewel began to glow as ki began to gather at a massive rate.

"What the…" Piccolo blinked in surprise.

"Tamashii no Ya!" Selena called, then an energy blast shot from the jewel and headed in Cell's direction. Sensing nothing that would threaten his life, Cell stopped his plummet in mid air, and crossed his arms in a X for the block. The blast pounded into him, causing a mid air explosion and billowing black smoke. Selena turned to Piccolo, and freed one hand from her staff to help him up. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." He growled, getting back to his feet. "But I told you to get out of here. Why aren't you gone yet?"

"Because I want to help you." She explained. "My name is Shikimi Lawless, but my friends call me Selena, and I'm a member of the Four Guardians. Since you helped me get away from that monster, I'll help you."

"Well, now we're even!" Piccolo snapped, now get out of here!" Suddenly, he flung a blast just above her head, trying to hit the unhurt Cell that was charging towards them. Cell used a Sansoken to quickly disappear from the blast, then reappear back in his path towards the two warriors.

"I can't believe he survived that!" Selena growled, then jumped at him for the charge.

"Lawless!" Piccolo shouted after the girl. "Stay away from him! You don't stand a chance!"

"Check this out." She mumbled as she headed towards the creature. Cell just smiled, and prepared a fist to swing. Selena arched her arms, and swung her staff at the monster. Cell grabbed the staff with one hand, and flung his fist towards her face. Selena ducked her head out of the way and only felt his thumb graze her cheek. She swiftly kicked a foot up from underneath her staff, and the ball of her foot came in contact with Cell's chin. Taken by surprise, Cell faltered backward, but not before flinging a punch with his other hand and hitting Selena's nose. They both fell to the ground, but Cell backfliped once to land on his feet, but Selena wasn't that prepared. She fell to the street on her back.

Piccolo watched as Cell allowed the girl to stand up. Selena kept her grip on the staff and glared at the monster.

"Who are you?" Selena demanded. "Why are you killing these innocent people?"

"Feh." Cell spat to the side. "I have already explained myself once to the Namek, so I won't bother doing so again. Why don't you ask him?"

"Namek?" Selena glanced for a split second out of the corner of her eye. Piccolo still stood where he had fallen, hands balled into fists, teeth clenched in frustration, watching on to strike at the right moment. He was a true warrior. She felt as though she had met him before. He looked kinda like…

"But what about you, my dear?" Cell gently questioned the girl. "You are very strong for someone your age. I would like to learn your name."

"Let's get one thing straight first." Selena growled, pointing the ki jewel at Cell. "I'm not 'your dear' or anyone else's 'dear' for that matter, so don't call me that again." Cell chuckled.

"Charming." He commented. "Now I really want to know more about you."

"Just call me Selena for now. How about you, what's your name?"

"I once again refer you to the Namek." Cell smiled. "But I am asking the questions here. Now then, tell me how you got so strong. There aren't very many like you."

"Ever since I was six, I was trained to be the perfect warrior. That's all I'm going to say."

"Oh really?" Cell flashed her a challenging grin of four sharp fangs. "Perfect, you say? Well, if you're putting it that way…" He charged towards her. "…then this planet isn't big enough for the two of us!" He punched her with all the strength his arm could gather in a split second. Selena was sent flying through a glass window, and into an empty building. Cell ran in after her, laughing.

"NO!" Piccolo cried rushing in after him. Cell thought quickly, and fired a Kienzan disk at the Namekian warrior. Piccolo quickly flew up into the air from it, and the energy disk sliced through a building before exploding. Piccolo gathered his hands above his head to blow up the building with a Masenko, but he suddenly stopped as Selena's face popped into his mind.

He dropped his hands, and stared at the rooftop of the building below him.

He came up with a better idea, and he lowered himself to the ground and lowered his ki as well.

^

Selena had been knocked through a brick wall, and into an air vent built close to the floor. She slowly rolled from her side to her stomach. Her head hurt a lot, and she assumed that her nose was broken. She crawled as far from the hole she made as she could. Her current instinct was to hide, and not fight.

KT-CH! KT-CH! KT-CH!…

The monster's footsteps began stepping closer to the wall. Selena backed up a little more from the hole. She began to feel very scared, but she was still confident that she could survive. But she had dropped her staff when she crashed through the window, so she couldn't blast the thing. And besides, it was too strong for her Spirit Arrow. Even though she had no clue what to do, she kept confident that she could get away from the monster alive.

Suddenly, his tail shot through the hole and slammed into the wall of the metal vent. Selena screamed in surprise, and backed away. Big mistake, she just gave away her hiding place. The tail retracted, and one of Cell's arms reached out for her. She backed away further still, and Cell only managed to grab some of her hair. He started to drag her out, but Selena tugged harder, causing her hair to be ripped off. She yelped in pain and continued to back away. Cell dropped the lock of hair in his fist, and kept reaching.

"You know this is futile, Selena." Cell reasoned, sounding very amused. "Now, be a good girl and come here."

"So that you could kill me like you did these innocent people?!" Selena barked. "Dream on!" Cell laughed at her.

"It is useless to resist. I could just pull out this whole wall and expose your hiding place, but this is more fun."

Fun? He thought that torturing and killing people like this was fun?! Selena clenched her teeth in anger.

"You sick, twisted weirdo!" she screamed at him. "I can't allow you to live!"

"And what will you do?" Cell dared. "Swing your stick at me? Use those pathetic attacks. Don't get me wrong Selena, you are impressive for a human, but I have faced much more powerful foes than you." Selena growled in frustration. Cell couldn't reach her since she had backed up as far as her stitched side would allow, but she wasn't sure if he would get bored and rip the wall apart like he said he would. She was all out of ideas, but she was still determined to live.

She put a little more strength into her arms, and shuffled backward away from Cell's reach one last time, and then something tapped her foot. She bent her head down to see what it was. It was a baited mousetrap. Then she remembered that the Namek was still outside. Maybe she could buy him some time. She carefully reached behind her and grabbed the mousetrap by the sides and lifted it to her view. The trap was set and ready to spring once the bait was taken off the pressure plate. She tapped the small pint of cheese off the pressure plate, then used a corner of the wooden trap to tap on the ground for Cell to hear. He made another reach for her, and she handed him the trap.

^

SNAP!

"OW!" Cell yelped, pulling his hand back. He narrowed his eyes at the mousetrap that had caught four of his fingers under the painful metal wire. From inside the vent, Selena laughed at him. Cell frowned and sighed. "Very resourceful, Selena." He congratulated, freeing his hand. "However, I'm not so sure what you're trying to accomplish." He put his hands on the side of the hole, and began go gather enough ki to break apart the brick wall. Suddenly, a hand grabbed the back of his head, and pushed Cell's face through the wall. Then, it flung him out of the building, where Cell crashed into another one on the opposite end of the street.

"PICCOLO!" Cell angrily called as he was smashed through the wall.

"Piccolo?" Selena wondered, crawling back up to the hole. She saw the Namek standing next to the hole, and watching Cell on the other side of the street. Selena smiled at hearing the Namek's name. "So you're Piccolo." Piccolo looked down at Selena angrily.

"Why are you still here?!" he snapped at her. "He could have killed you!"

"But he didn't." Selena groaned as she crawled out of the hole. "So there."

"Why are you so set on fighting him? You don't stand a chance against a power like that."

"Maybe I do and maybe I don't." Selena growled at him. "Besides, he blew up my swoop bike, and I wanna get him for that."

"This is no time to avenge your stupid…" Piccolo began to argue, but a large ki blast interrupted him.

"KIKOHO! HA!" Tien's trademark attack pummeled into Cell and his surroundings. Piccolo and Selena were blown off their feet by the power of the attack, and blinded by the bright light it caused. Cell was blown further down the street, but he used that as his getaway jumpstart. He flipped himself foreword, let the wind and power of Tien's blast catch under his wings, and the android flew away from the city. As the light died down, Tien roared. "Dammit! He got away!"

"What?!" Piccolo demanded, running out of the building to the street. He tried to feel out Cell's ki, but he felt nothing. "No…"

"Huh?" Selena wondered, stepping out of the building, holding her stinging side with one hand. She looked around, and saw a huge square-shaped crater in the middle of the street. Then she looked over at Tien as he landed by Piccolo's side.

"I think I saw him head that way." Tien said to the Namek, pointing further down the street. "I'll bet he didn't get too far."

"Right." Piccolo nodded. "You search from the air, and I'll walk around on foot."

"Okay."

"What about me?" Selena butted in. Tien and Piccolo looked at her as she picked up her staff from the ground.

"You get out of here." Piccolo ordered. "I don't care how strong you think you are, this is dangerous."

"So tell me something I don't know." Selena snapped at him.

"I'm not getting you involved in this just because of your stupid bicycle."

"It's not a bicycle, it's a swoop. And I'm not fighting just because of that. You've probably never heard of me, but I'm a member of the Four Guardians. We protect mankind from threats like that monster, and we do so with the best of our ability."

"I know who you are." Piccolo nodded. "And I know about the Guardians. I thought your original job was to protect the Spring of Sacred Water on the Irish plains."

"Huh?" Tien blinked, scratching his bald head in confusion. "Piccolo, you know this girl?"

"No, but Kami does."

"I knew it!" Selena happily cried. "I took one look at your skin, and I thought you might have been related to Kami-sama! I haven't seen him in ages! How's he doing?!"

"Not now." Piccolo shook his head stubbornly. "Just leave, and get as far away from that monster as you can."

"Can you at least tell me its name?" Selena asked, taking out a Capsule case.

"Its name is Cell. Satisfied?"

"For now, yes." Selena nodded, picking out a Capsule, and flung it away from her. In a puff of smoke, another swoop bike appeared, and Selena began walking towards it. Tien and Piccolo's jaws dropped.

"You had another bike?" Tien outbursted. "But you were really upset about the first…"

"That was the Reckless 1 Cell blew up. This is Reckless 2."

"…wait a minute, how many bikes do you have?"

"Five." Selena answered happily.

Piccolo and Tien face vaulted.

"Well, I'm off." Selena announced, starting up her swoop. "Thanks for saving me guys. Oh, and Piccolo, tell Kami-sama I said hi, alright?"

"…" The Namek didn't answer as he stood back up on his feet. Selena hit the gas pedal and drove down the street. Piccolo watched after her in worry. "Why do I get the strangest feeling that we're going to run into her again?"

"I dunno." Tien admitted, shrugging. "C'mon, let's go find Cell. He should still be around."

^

Cell watched Selena leave on another swoop bike, and he didn't take his eyes off of her until she was outside the city limit. He stood on the roof of a skyscraper, and watched his two hunters search for him. As Tien began to rise in the air, Cell climbed down the other side of the building, and into a window on the top floor. He then leaned against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest, closed his eyes and felt out Piccolo and Tien's ki as they searched for him.

Selena: Hey guys, I got a great idea! Let's be Sorcerer Hunter characters!

Tien: Hey, cool idea! I love that show!

Cell: **smiles** And what gave you this idea?

Selena: Oh, it's just for fun. I'll be Tira! **snaps her fingers, and is instantly wearing the huge glasses and long red coat** How do I look?

Cell and Tien: **applauds** Alright!

Piccolo: …

Selena/Tira: So, who do you guys wanna be?

Tien: Piccolo is the perfect Gateo.

Piccolo: **vein pop** Leave me outta this…

Selena/Tira: **looks Piccolo over** Nah. He'd make a better Marron.

Tien: Hey, you're right! Even better!

Cell: **lol** I can't quite picture Piccolo with long, black hair.

Piccolo: **sweatdrop** …

Piccolo/Marron: **lip quivers in helplessness**

Selena: **lol** Wow, Piccolo, you look really cool in that.

Piccolo/Marron: Oh shut up.

Tien: **thinks** Well, now I'm with the choices of Carrot and Gateo…

Selena: …and Chocolate!

Cell: **pictures Tien in Chocolate's outfit, and laughs even harder**

Tien: **sweatdrop** I'll be Gateo. Now, how does this work… **snaps his fingers and is wearing Gateo clothes** Yes!

Selena/Tira: **looks over at Cell** And last but not least…now who could Cell be?

Piccolo/Marron: **snaps his fingers, and Cell is dressed as Big Momma**

Cell/Big Momma: **stops laughing and becomes mortified** AAAAAAAAA! I'M IN A DRESS! WHO PUT ME IN A DRESS?! AAAAAAA!

Tien/Gateo: **lol**

Selena/Tira: **glares at Piccolo** That was mean!

Piccolo/Marron: No, that was for laughing at me. **snaps his fingers and Cell's outfit changes into Dota's clothes** Now that's mean.

Cell/Dota: **panicking** AAAAAAA! I'M IN A SKIMY DRESS NOW! MY BUTT'S SHOWING! HELLLLP!

Tien/Gateo: **rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off, and doing an anime take**

Selena/Tira: **snaps her fingers, and Cell's outfit changes to Carrot's tanktop and pants** Much better.

Cell/Carrot: **calms down** Thank…you…Selena!

Selena/Tira: **kawai smile** No problem.

Tien/Gateo: Well, that's all of us…but what about Chocolate? Who's going to be her?

Selena/Tira: Well, there'll be another female cast member in Unholy Crusade coming in chapter two, but she's not here yet. Darn, **a little bummed** it would be great if she was here.

Cell/Carrot: Actually, I'm kinda happy there's no Chocolate. The last thing a guy like me needs is two psychopathic bitches in skimpy clothes chasing me around with whips.

Selena/Tira: **glares** What was that?

Cell/Carrot: **sweatdrop** Huh?

Selena/Tira: You called me the "b" word…you must pay…

Piccolo and Tien: Uh oh! **runs and hides**

Selena/Tira: **steps out of her shoes, takes off her glasses, then flings off her red coat and reveals her true form** **laughs** Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Cell/Carrot: **more sweatdrops** I'm in trouble, right? Oh well, at least Chocolate isn't here…

Masquerade/Chocolate: **flings off her blue coat, a long, thin string cuts through the screen and reveals Masquerade, the fanfic's author, dressed as Chocolate's true form** **chuckles through her lips**

Cell/Carrot: **freaks** OH [CENSORED!]

Masq/Chocolate: **in a sexy voice** Most women take offense at such language, Seru… **bites down on her string** …or shall I call you darling?

Cell/Carrot: **backs away in fear** Eeeeeeek…

Masq/Chocolate: **turns to Selena** Sister, dear, shall we teach Darling a valuable lesson?

Selena/Tira: **in a sexy voice** Yes, we shall.

Cell/Carrot: **crying and screaming as he's getting whipped** AAAAAA! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! PRINCESS!…

Piccolo and Tien: **laugh and point at Cell as he's chased into the distance**

Piccolo: I'll admit that it was entertaining…

Tien: **snaps his fingers, and is back in his regular clothes** Yeah. And Masquerade showing up was a pretty big surprise. I wouldn't mind doing this again sometime…

Piccolo: **walks away** I probably wouldn't mind either. It depends on who Selena dresses me up as…

Tien: Yeah, that's the only part any of us have to worry about…