I, as the author, would like to inform everyone that at this point in time, Bellatrix and Sirius have adopted their own ideas of themselves as they are soon heading to school. I invite all my readers to let me know if they enjoy the banter the two partake in on a weekly basis when not together. Hah. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Just so you know.
Chapter four. A Few Years Later. A Summer of Letters and Correspondences.
In shaky, large and blocked-out print:
May Twenty-Eighth
My dearest cousin Bellatrix,
I can hardly believe we're going to Hogwarts this year. Can you believe it, Bella? Is it real? Tell me it's real. Is it some horrible joke they've been playing on us since our birth? I'm a nervous wreck, y'know. 'Course, you'd know that if you'd had bothered to show up at my birthday party this year. But no, despite letters and letter of invitations and owls arriving every day with more you chose to ignore them. And I didn't even get a letter explaining why? There is only one explanation that seems even possibly feasible. You are off on Holiday in Greece without me. I want you to know that you are an awful cousin, going away like that. Don't you know how desperately I want to go to Greece? Didn't we promise a while back that we'd only ever go to Greece together? Because y'know, then we could go to the Coliseum. But I suppose that's in Rome, yeah? So scratch that last. Hah.
Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that if I don't get a letter in return to this I am most certainly not speaking to you on the Hogwarts Express and you can expect no Christmas Gift from me either. So there.
Your dearest and most favorite cousin ever,
----Sirius Orion Black
In elegant, loopy script:
June Fourth
Unfortunately lovely cousin of mine, one Sirius Orion Black:
I find it fitting to inform you, oh impatient one, that your letters have not gone unread as you apparently assume. You jump to conclusions much too quickly, Sirius, and this I regret to inform you will be the bane of our cousinship. You see, it is much unfair for you to abruptly acknowledge things that are not true, especially in the case of Greece and I—as I would never even imagine adventuring to such a place without you.
And I most certainly hope within the depths of my heart that you truly do not believe that Hogwarts is not real and that it is some magnificently performed prank. If you do, Sirius, you are much dafter than I ever could have hoped to believe and thus must never speak to you again. Now, that being said I am going to pretend you were joking for my amusement, which I might add, I am very amused at.
I am much looking forward to the Christmas Gift I shall now receive. In fact, you can purchase it for me in two weeks time. Have Aunt Walburga Floo you over to my little haven of a home. Mother is taking us shopping for school. And no, you do not have a choice in this matter.
Hoping to see you soon,
Your Lovely Cousin,
Bellatrix
In rushed, blocked out lettering:
June Ninth
Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella:
What if I don't want to go, eh? What if I refuse? What if I suddenly decide that I like spending time with Regulus (the prat.) more than I like spending time with you? Eh eh? What would you do?
And. I apologize a lot for assuming such awful things of you. How dare I ever think you would adventure to Greece without me! I am an awful cousin, Bellatrix. I don't know how you can put up with it. D'you know my mum gave me a dirty look when I asked if she'd Floo me to your place? I think she wanted to take me shopping for my first year at Hogwarts. After all, I'd want to take myself shopping. 'Course, she probably just wants to buy me something ridiculous and expensive emblazed with Slytherin's emblem, which I think is stupid because definitely haven't even been sorted yet. What if by some awful twist of luck I get Hufflepuff? Merlin. I think I'd jump off the clock tower. So, Bella, if I get Hufflepuff you should probably kill me at once. Hah.
I feel like such a disappointment right now, Bella. Though I have no idea what I'm expected to buy you for Christmas. So you'll have to let me know when you see it, yeah?
Oh. And so you know. Decidedly, I am going to make up words. Like Decidedly. And assumptuous. Just so you know.
Your most assumptuous cousin,
Sirius
In slow, calligraphic hand:
June Thirteenth
Sirius Orion Black,
You shall not refuse to come with me and my mother, because you have none such choice as of now. Mother went to Number Twelve today for the sole purpose of speaking to Aunt Walburga, who apparently immediately "grant[ed permission for [you to go". That was taken as a quote from your mother; you can ask her yourself, cousin, though I believe mother said she may come as well if she so desires. And if you preferred the company of Regulus to me, then I am most assured that you would spend endless hours writing him letters instead of me. Yes, I am ignoring the blatant fact that he does live within five feet of you and has lived in said close range for the majority if not the entirety of his life. I care not, Sirius. In any case, if you did prefer him then I would in fact talk father into kidnapping you, which he would certainly do for me. Assuming I could catch him when he wasn't drowning in Firewhiskey. Also, I dutifully accept your apology for being a horrible cousin. I am just increasingly glad that you have noticed said fact.
Sirius, I am one hundred percent positive you will not be placed into the disgraceful house of Hufflepuff. You are not book-smart enough to be in Ravenclaw, nor are you to be placed in Gryffindor as our entire family (give or take a few blood traitors, the filthy ones) have been placed in the house of Salazar Slytherin. Because you are a direct descendant of the ancient and most noble house of Black, you shall be sorted accordingly, Sirius. That being said, I absolutely forbid you, in the rare occasion that the sorting hat sorts you incorrectly, to jump off the clock tower as that would have dire consequences to my own well-being. And you are no disappointment in any way, shape or form, Sirius. Therefore, stop complaining at once or I shant buy you a Christmas present either. As for mine, you shall find a spectacular array of items at Flourish and Blotts, or perhaps something silken and lovely from Madame Malkins. Unless, dear Sirius, you are thinking of something more high-end, in which case you can always appeal to my feminine side and purchase something spectacular in the gemstone department.
As an advocate of proper grammar and word usage, I dislike strongly your word-creating. Stop it.
Actually will see you soon,
Bellatrix
In heavy, dark-inked words:
June Seventeenth
Dear Cousin-of-mine,
Fine. I didn't really not want to go anyways. Maybe I'll tell mum that you're really just dragging me to Romania where you will feed me to a dragon. Which you would do. I know. And I don't want to be fed to a dragon if I can help it; I'm barely eleven years old. So then she'll let me stay home and not be forcibly taken to Diagon Alley. And mum apparently wants me to tell you that she plans on coming with us unless something comes up. I don't know what that means, but we should try to ditch her, she's so smothering. Ugh.
Kidnap me, Bella. I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Yep. You've been dared. Ha. Now you have to kidnap me. So do it. Because Regulus is being a ruddy git. All the time. Just suddenly. I have no idea why, but he does the git-thing a lot. Basically he runs around Grimmauld Place screaming at me telling me I'm going to be in Hufflepuff. And mum got really angry and flustered and told him to shut his bloody mouth. Hah. She can actually be okay randomly.
I hope Regulus gets bloody Hufflepuff. He's so daft. Hah. But thank you loads for reassuring me. With your word I can rest easy knowing I won't get Hufflepuff…
Also. Erm. I don't have billions of galleons as you apparently think, Bella. Mum does though. Badger her for presents. Hah. And the only thing you have to get me is a summer in Greece.
By the way, it will take me a bit to reply to your next letter, Bella. Why, you ask? Well. I am not telling. Hah.
But I'm telling you, I shall continue to make up words simply to annoy you, Bella. Bellagon. There. A dragon crossed with you. Now THAT is frightening.
Much love,
Sirius
In beautiful, carefully written print:
June Twentieth
Siri,
I assure you I shall never feed you to a dragon, Sirius, unless it is a proper dragon such as the Ukrainian Ironbelly and not a tiny pseudo dragon like the Vipertooth. I suppose, however, I would be a proper dragon. I hope this 'Bellagon' is as exquisite and elegant as your cousin, yes Sirius? I am going to assume your response is a positive one. Also, I shall quite like to breathe fire in a way that awes all who look upon it, for your reference.
I only wish I could truly kidnap you, dearest Sirius, because I am mentally strained as I am at the moment stuck in this house with Narcissa and Andromeda. Andromeda's been shunned, of course, for apparently associating with mudbloods at school. I cannot confirm this but only know that she is indeed not seeing the light of day. Tragic, really, but she does get on my nerves with that. Father is quite drunken now so even if I could kidnap you, he would be unable to do so in his heavily inebriated state.
I shall simply have to hope that you will indeed purchase said gift for me from Madame Malkins Shoppe, as she just recently made a spectacular set of blood-red and silver robes that would look spectacular for formal dress. Remember the ones I pointed out? Those were it. They were simply gorgeous, Sirius, I simply cannot see how you did not desire them as much as I. Nevertheless, your mother is a bit frightening on occasion, as she was in Flourish and Blotts, trying to charm quills that people were buying. That was amusing.
Annoy me all you wish, Sirius, I shant pay any mind to your random word concoctions. Take as long as you wish to on writing me back, after all I'm only your cousin and I don't mean a thing, Sirius.
Love,
Bellatrix
In heavy, large lettering:
August First
Bella I am So Sorry I Didn't Write Sooner,
Did you just address me as Siri in your last letter? Y'know, I think you did. That amuses me a lot. D'you know why? Because you haven't called me Siri in ages, Miss I Care About Gramar More Than Fun. I am aware that I spelled Gramar wrong. I did it on purpose, just to annoy you. Hah. I win. And just so you know I would much rather be eaten by a Bellagon than any other dragon, mostly because you wouldn't torture me first. Or, maybe you would and in that case, feed me to the Vipertooth. Hah.
Kay, so, I didn't write for an entire ten days because dear old mum decided we should all go flying through France which was very, very odd Bella, and I never want to go again. I had to ride on a broom with Orion and Regulus got to be babied by mum. And the wizarding community was really weird there. They kept pinching my cheeks. Later, mum told me we were distantly related to a lot of them. How amusing. There was one very nice looking bird. She was pretty I suppose for a thirteen year old. And before you say anything, you vain girl, she was not nearly as pretty as you. She was blonde. Like Cissa, only more horsy looking. If that's possible. Hah.
Er, your mum and dad sent Andromeda into exile for talking to a muggle born? Isn't that just a bit harsh? Y'know, I think it is. I think to annoy them I'll talk to all of them. Then. I'll dare you to do it too. Hah.
I am not buying you expensive dress robes. Hah. Keep dreaming.
Sirius
In washed out, curly script:
August Twelfth
I did not call you Siri,
I have decided quite frankly that this shall be my last letter to you this summer, regardless of how many you write back. This is because I'm attempting to read through my schoolbooks, as Mother has assigned, and therefore I do not wish to experience such a distraction as you, and you are a distraction, Sirius.
I do not like your spelling of grammar, Sirius, and must insist that you halt this irate annoyance at once.
France, Sirius? We have French relations? I never would have guessed, especially since the family motto is "Toujours Pur" which is quite certainly not French. And if you have not realized by now, that was blatant sarcasm and you should probably check into St. Mungo's for not being able to tell the difference.
Is it so hard to believe that Andromeda speaks to mudbloods? I shall never understand why she associates with such filth. It's unnatural and she deserves every bit of exile she receives, Sirius. And you shall not speak to them at school incessantly. I exclusively forbid it, and if you ever dare me to do such things I shall hex you.
Deeply missing you,
Bellatrix
Bellatrix Lestrange sat back in the silver-lined sofa in her little decrepit and dark haven, deep in thought. She rubbed her gaunt and exhausted silver eyes gently, and at once tossed the ancient letters into the still-burning fireplace of the abandoned house in Little Hangleton.