Um, oh god. HAHAHA. I really don't know why I wrote this, I just know that I'm obsessed with Ace Attorney and I had this crazy idea about an hour ago that was something along the lines of, "What if young Phoenix, Larry, and Edgeworth all went to summer camp together?"

Sometimes, my spontaneous ideas are my best work. Tell me what you think of this story, I hope you enjoy it!

Obviously, this story is told from Phoenix's POV.

I could tell Maya was about to do something horrible. When she doesn't get her way, I usually get blackmailed.

"You know, Nick, I have so much dirt on you, it isn't even funny! I'll get you to take Pearly and me out for hamburgers, even if I have to reveal your darkest secret!"

"You wouldn't!" I choked.

Oh, but she would.

As I looked at her, I could feel her trying to think of the worst possible story she could tell to Pearl. Oh, God. She was going to tell the story. The story I specifically told her never to tell.

"So, Pearls! This one time at lawyer camp, Mr. Nick--"

I had to stop Maya there. The last thing I wanted was a long, horrifying, drawn-out flashback...

Too late.

...

It wasn't lawyer camp, to be exact. It was a plain old summer camp-- complete with bad food, spiders in the showers, and a curfew that nobody obeys. I had gone with my two best friends, Miles Edgeworth and Larry Butz.

Speaking of staying out past curfew... it was 2:00 in the morning. Larry, Miles, and I were trudging through the woods with nothing on us but a flickering flashlight. Larry was leading us to some bonfire a bunch of kids were sneaking out of their cabins to go to. The whole way there, I was petrified that a wild animal would pop out and attack me, or worse-- that we'd get caught by a camp counselor.

"Come on, Nick! You're not going to head back now, are you?" Larry nagged, tugging me along by the neck of my shirt. "I always knew you were kind of a wimp, but you're a flat-out wet blanket!"

"It's not my fault... you're the one who forced me to come out here! And I'm not a ... wet blanket ... I'm a careful person, that's all." Some sort of animal flew by my head, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "It's not too late to go back to the cabin!"

"Leave it to Phoenix Wright to ruin other people's fun," Miles grumbled. He held the flashlight steadily, scanning the ground for some sort of path. He couldn't find one. "Guys... have you been paying attention to where we are?"

Larry laughed out loud, "Yeah, right! I put you in charge of that for a reason. For all I know, we could be walking in circles. And Nick here has been too worried about getting caught to pay attention to the trail."

"... Oh." Suddenly, Miles didn't sound so relaxed. "Well, that could be a problem."

"What do you mean, that could be a problem?" I asked tentatively.

"If I'm right, well.. for the past half hour, we've just been getting ourselves more and more lost."

I screamed. Loudly. I was only slightly nervous before, but when I found out that we were lost, I pretty much expected death at any moment.

As usual, Larry made a joke out of our unfortunate situation. "Wait until the bonfire kids hear about this... that is, if we make it out of here alive! Hah, Nick, have you heard the ghost story behind these woods?! One time, a disgruntled camper came out here with two of his cabin mates... and killed them!"

Disgruntled camper? I nervously glanced around in the darkness. Come to think of it, Miles was mad earlier that day...

"That's not even the scariest part. According to what I've heard, the killer's ghost controls the mind of one camper every summer, and that camper-zombie-thing leads his friends deep into the woods..."

All of a sudden, the darkness seemed to be a lot more terrifying.

Larry's voice took on the tone of a seasoned teller-of-ghost-stories; "And the hypnotized kid KILLS his friends!"

I yelled so loud that I'm pretty sure it even made Larry jump. I shrieked frantically, "MILES! MILES IS HYPNOTIZED! He's leading us into the deepest, darkest part of the woods, so he can--"

"Wright!" Miles yelled louder than I did, as he pointed the flashlight directly in my face. The light flickered in my eyes, and I could get a glimpse of Miles's hypnotized face. "If I were really hypnotized, don't you think I'd...!... heh..." He laughed evilly to himself and mumbled something to Larry. "I'm not hypnotized. Nope. Let's just keep going."

Miles started walking, and Larry followed. I had no choice but to keep going along with them.

"But there is a way to stop the kid from killing you," Larry began. "Strip down and start screaming like a madman."

"WHAT?!" I yelled. "What does running around naked have to do with not getting killed?"

"Uh, well... the sight of a pasty, gangly child without pants on scares the ghost away," Larry explained. Miles snickered.

"...Really?" I thought about that for a moment. I was pretty pasty... I had to make a decision, and quick-- sacrifice my dignity, or my life?

"Heh, it's so quiet out here, we must be miles away from anybody else," Miles's voice was almost demonic. "Far enough away that no one would hear... the screaming of two boys being murdered!"

At that moment, I went crazy. The next few moments are a blur.

"RUN, NICK!" Larry wailed. I screamed like a little girl. In less than five seconds, I was completely naked, and sprinting faster than I ever had before. I didn't even know where I was going, but one thought was racing through my mind over and over again:

Scream bloody murder, and DON'T stop running.

I heard Miles laughing maniacally in the distance, and Larry was making some noise I had never even heard before-- it was a mixture of laughing and screaming and howling all at the same time. I was too scared to run back and save Larry from his impending death. I did the cross over my bare chest as I kept running.

My friends' laughter/screaming fits had softened, and I thought I was safe... I saw a light in the distance! I sprinted faster until the only thing keeping me from freedom was a few pine trees. I rushed through them, and I was safe! I stopped screaming, opened my eyes, and realized...

DAMMIT.

Sitting in front of me was a group of 20-or-so kids, all huddled around a massive bonfire, staring straight at my naked body. I froze, not even thinking clearly enough to cover anything up.

Honestly, being killed by a hypnotized Miles would've been a better fate than what I had just gotten myself into.

A few kids began chuckling, followed by a few others, and suddenly, the whole group just burst into hysterical laughter.

About a minute later, Miles and Larry magically appeared through the trees. At that point, I was furious that Larry had even made it out of the woods alive. Miles was holding something. He came over to me, tears of laughter streaming down his face, and said, "These... are yours."

I was shaking with embarrassment as I grabbed my boxer-briefs and shoved them on.

"Show's over, kids," Miles said grandly, "If you want to see anything else, Phoenix Wright gladly accepts cash."

...

"Nick, are you all right?" Maya asked loudly, waving her hand in front of my face.

"Huh? OH! Uh..." I looked down at Pearl. "You didn't tell her, did you?"

Maya grinned mischeviously. "Did I? I don't know. Are you taking us out for burgers?"