Summary: RLSB. SLASH. After a meeting of the Order, Sirius notices Remus walking upstairs rather quickly, looking upset. He follows, to comfort an old friend.

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Just like to play with 'em. Also, did I mention this is SLASH?? Just in case you missed it the first time. Heh.

And as always…if you read, PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks and have fun!

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"Remus, are you alright? May I come in?"

Sirius Black pressed his ear up to the door of one of the old dusty bedrooms of Number twelve, Grimmauld Place. Another meeting of the Order of the Phoenix was over, and not surprisingly, there were more questions than there were answers. They had adjourned, each member to their own respective rooms. He could hear Mad Eye and Arthur Weasley murmuring downstairs in the living room, the soft clinking of their tea spoons.

Sirius' head was pounding. He was relieved when the meeting had ended, desiring nothing more than to retire upstairs to his bedroom to lie down to try and sleep this god-awful headache away. He was rubbing his temples painfully when he noticed Remus leaving the room out of the corner of his eye rather quickly, his head down low to cover the expression on his face. Sighing, Sirius had excused himself and followed Remus upstairs to the room adjacent to his own. The door was closed and he knocked softly, making his presence known.

"Remus?" he whispered again. "Are you alright?"

A slight pause before he heard a response. "Come in."

Sirius entered the room, carefully closing the door behind him with a soft click. The curtains had been drawn, the only light coming from the dimly lit chandelier in the center of the room. The candles flickered, but never melted, casting shadows on every corner. He noticed the bed had not been slept in, the sheets still made. He wondered how long it had been since his friend had slept at all.

Remus sat in a large padded chair, with his back to the door. His elbows resting on his thighs, he was doubled over, holding his head in his hands. Sirius crossed slowly to him, noticing countless pages of parchment lying carelessly on the desk in the corner of the room, trickling down onto the floor. He smiled; even when they had been in school together, Remus had always taken the educational and logical approach to problems. Sirius on the other hand had always pounced without thinking. His eyes glanced over a few words he could make out in the dim light: "Recruits", "Special Talents", "Important Contacts", "Secret Meeting Locations". The lists went on and on; Sirius felt his head pound angrily. It was all too much, he knew, but he still had faith that the Order would prevail. He had to have faith. It was all that was left these days.

Placing a gentle hand on Remus' back, Sirius spoke softly, "Is your head pounding like mine?" He sighed. "A cup of tea might do us both some good."

Taking a shaky breath, Remus spoke, his voice breaking, "I'm not sure what will do us any good anymore.

"Oh..." Sirius quickly moved to kneel before him, placing a hand on the back of his neck. "Remus", he breathed. "I know you're feeling hopeless. It does seem...like a dire situation. But we will prevail! The Order will be triumphant! I promise you, old friend. We must have faith."'

Remus lifted his face to meet Sirius'. Tears fell in two perfect tracks down his pale cheeks. His honey colored eyes searched Sirius' face for answers he knew he did not have.

"Sirius...I, I feel so unprepared."

Glancing around the room, Sirius grinned at the copious amounts of parchment covered in furiously written script, "You are many things Remus Lupin; unprepared is not one of them."

His black eyes sparkled teasingly and he held Remus' gaze until finally, a smile spread across Remus' face, and he laughed, this time only tears of relief and joy cascading down his delicate face. Sirius pressed their foreheads together, one hand still gently gripping the back of Remus' neck. His fingers absentmindedly tousled the thick, soft hair there as they laughed together. Sirius pulled away, placing a tender kiss on Remus' forehead, but before he could stand, Remus cupped his face in his hands and returned the gesture with a heartbreaking softness that spoke of a love and a bond deeper than anything either men had ever known.

Sirius searched the deep pools of caramel colored eyes, his gaze drifting down over the rounded nose and then his lips, slightly parted, and breathing softly. Remus' fingers were long and delicate and ice cold. Sirius placed a hand upon one that rested on his cheek and closed his eyes, rubbing gently against the trembling touch. His eyes had only just fluttered open again when he felt Remus' lips brush gently across his own.

"Forgive me."

Remus; beautiful, kind, gentle, shy Remus Lupin, had embraced Sirius and was, without hesitation, kissing him. His lips were softer than rose petals, the taste of his tongue sweeter than the chocolates he so loved to eat. He was trembling, shaking with emotion and yet he held Sirius firmly in his arms, holding onto him as though any moment the world would come crashing down above them, finally extinguishing all light and existence.

Sirius' heart pounded against his chest; every part of his skin burned with electricity. His hands held Remus closely, kneeling directly before him, nestled in between his legs, fitting them together like the last pieces of a puzzle. Sirius returned every kiss, every suck, and every twirl of Remus' tongue with a passion he had never known he could possess. Oh, this was beautiful madness.

Sirius spoke, almost growled underneath his breath, in-between kisses, "I don't. Ever. Want you. To apologize. For this. Ever. Do you. Understand? Do you? Show me. Show me. Show me! My darling. My love. My love. Remus."

Remus' tears fell copiously now and he nodded, sighed, and moaned his answers into Sirius' wanting mouth. His hands flew wildly through Sirius' thick black hair, grasping and pulling him closer, wrapping his legs around his waist, abandoning all logical reason. The only thing that existed, the only thing that mattered was this. This was enough to ignite his faith all over again.

"Sirius", Remus whispered hoarsely. "I cannot lose you. I can never lose you!" he cried, over and over again. "I have loved you for so long. Forgi-..."

"It is I who should beg for your forgiveness", Sirius interrupted. Pulling away, he held Remus' face in his hands and spoke, his voice choking on un-shed tears. "I have adored you, needed you, and loved you for all my life. I've wasted so many years denying it. I was a fool. I pledged myself to you when we were merely boys, yet I never told you. I was so afraid of rejection."

Remus sobbed. The sound was heartbreaking; it tore at Sirius' very soul. Sirius continued speaking, the flood of tears that were held back, now rained down upon his own cheeks, slipping off his chin and landing in tiny puddles on the carpet.

"Remus. My darling, Moony. I love you. And you will never lose me. Never! Even if the Order fails, my love for you will not. I shall always be yours, even in death."

The two men embraced each other, grasping onto whatever their fingers could grip; Sirius' thick black robe, his long hair, Remus' soft sweater, his sunset colored strands. They panted, breathless, until suddenly, Sirius felt Remus' velvet soft lips begin to kiss his neck. Remus' lips were tentative at first, gauging the responses of the body pressed up to him. When he risked a gentle bite, Sirius threw his head back, a soft moan escaping his lips.

"Sirius", Remus whispered faintly. "I want you to show me."

Sirius kissed Remus softly, his eyes clouded with desire, "Show you?" he asked gently.

"Show me how it always should have been. You have always possessed me in mind and spirit. Now take the rest of me."

Sirius felt himself swell with desire. He did not answer Remus; he simply stood up, and carried him to the large four-poster bed, gently laying him down upon his back. Sirius removed his robe, wearing nothing underneath. Remus gasped and sighed, his eyes wide and wanting. Before throwing his robe over the side of the bed, Sirius took out his wand from one of the pockets and murmured a silencing charm at the door behind them. He crawled over Remus' writhing body, and placed one leg on either side of him. For a moment, Sirius merely gazed down into Remus' face; he was testing him, making absolutely sure this was his decision, even though every nerve in Sirius' body was twitching, pounding, screaming for the taste of Remus' mouth. Finally, Remus raised a hand to Sirius' face, gently tracing the lines, memorizing every crease, and with a soft, almost sad sigh, he spoke.

"Sirius", Remus breathed, gazing up into Sirius' eyes, pools of unending blackness. "I am yours."

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