Sorry for the delay all. I have taken on a higher position at work which is a bit more draining and leaves less time for writing. :(

This has not been beta read so please forgive my errors.

Unexpected feelings…

The weeks continued to pass in a comfortable routine. That was until the Christmas holiday began to approach. Severus disliked that Hermione began leaving straight after her work for the apothecary was done to buy gifts for her family and friends.

When they were able to spend time brewing for the apothecary, they continued to ask each other silly, trival questions. Favorite colors, favorite books. Favorite authors. The sorts of things that people shared as they deepened their friendship.

Christmas arrived and Severus expected to spend it alone. He had spent the last twenty years alone, why should this holiday be any different? It still put him in a sour mood.

Hermione had parties and family gatherings to attend all week. Part of him loathed the idea of her having to spend time with the Weasley's. Between Molly's interfering and Ronald's mood swings, it was bound to be a trying time.

It was a complete surprise when Hermione arrived late on Christmas day at Spinners End with a package under her arm.

"What are you doing here?" Severus asked, incredulous at seeing her hanging her coat up on the coat rack by the door.

"That happy to see me?" she grinned.

Yes.

"How has your holiday been? Would you like some tea?" He asked, trying to keep the sudden nervousness he felt at bay.

"Tea would be lovely."

Severus did not have to summon Winky. The House Elf was there instantly wishing a Happy Christmas to her two human companions before moving to the kitchen.

"My holiday has been… tolerable."

Severus flashed Hermione a smirk.

"Stop that," she laughed. 'It's been as tolerable as an ex husband and mother in law can make it. It's been difficult on Rose and Hugo. Their first Christmas not waking up with mom and dad there, but they are adjusting. They are with their father and his family right now. I managed to slip away because my Christmas wouldn't be complete if I didn't deliver my last gift."

Hermione stepped forward and handed the dark haired wizard a long thin package wrapped in cliche red paper and a green ribbon. "Happy Christmas, Severus."

Severus' fingers came into contact with Hermione's as she passed him the gift. He let out the breath he had not realized he was holding and smiled. He opened the gift carefully and revealed a lovely black leather bound journal. It looked expensive and Severus realized Hermione must have gone without so that she could purchase it for him. He was both touched and angered by this.

"Do you like it? I thought perhaps you could record all the new potions and improvements you have worked on. Maybe you can even publish it someday."

Severus didn't miss the hope in her voice. She still wished he would rejoin the wizarding world. " It is lovely. I will record our potions in here in the hope that someday we can publish it together."

She flashed him that warm smile again and Severus found himself smiling back at her. Her reaction was different this time. She smiled shyly, glancing at the floor.

"I was going to give your gift to you on Monday. I must warn you that I do not normally celebrate Christmas, but since my brewing partner saw fit to abandon me for shopping, I thought I might try to do a little of my own." The wicked grin tugged at his lips. "Follow me to the lab."

She did as he asked, hardly unable to contain the excitement and surprise that he had bought her a Christmas gift. He asked her to step in front of him and close her eyes at the top of the stairway. She felt his warm hands cover her eyes.

"You don't trust me?" she laughed.

"I do, but I will be able to help steady you this way. We would not want you to take a tumble down the stairs."

They took each step at a time and felt as if the journey took ages. Hermione was all too aware of Severus behind her and of how warm his hands were. One on over her eyes and the other at her waist to help steady her . He in turn was quite aware of her body moving so close to his own.

When they reached the floor, Severus quickly removed his hands. "Lumos!" he called. "Open your eyes."

Hermione gasped. Her normal work area in the lab had been restocked with tools and vials, all of them brand new.

"Severus, you shouldn't have…." She moved to the work station and picked up the set of knives he had bought for her. Putting them down, she shook her head and backed away from the table. "Severus, I couldn't possibly accept these. They must have cost a fortune." The journal she bought him paled in comparison.

"You will accept them or you will offend me. If you dislike the scroll design carved into the handles, I can return them for a different design. I have the owl order catalog upstairs."

"No…no. They are perfect…" Her eyes brimmed with tears.

Severus watched her hold one of the knives up to examine the craftsmanship. Did she not understand the gift she had given him? While he loved the journal, because it was from her, the friendship she gave him was a greater gift than anything she could have purchased. Did she not know how he looked forward to every moment spent in her presence? That those six to twelve hours were never enough? Did she not realize that since her return he was no longer just breathing and existing, but now living?

"Let's see about that tea."

After the holiday, Hermione spent more time with Severus again. The sour attitude as quickly as it had arrived. The months passed so fast that it was with great surprise that winter changed to spring. March arrived marking a full year that Hermione and Severus had been reunited. Severus was slowly filling the journal with new potions and improvements to old ones that he and Hermione perfected.

The time spent together made Severus feel content for the first time in decades, but like all good things the happiness was disrupted.

By the first week of June, Hermione's demeanor changed. Severus thought it might have to do with family related issues, but noticed things were different this time around compared to past experiences.

Severus could tell that Hermione was keeping something from him. She refused to make eye contact with him and she was too quiet; her mind preoccupied with her thoughts rather than the work she was doing. When the questioning stopped and she began to work like a Muggle robot, he knew something was wrong with her.

It was getting to him. He wondered if her ex-husband or his mother had done something truly awful this time, and Hermione was too upset or embarrassed to speak of it. As curious as he was to ask, Severus refrained. She would tell him if or when she was ready.

Near the end of a Monday the following week, Hermione finally decided to tell Severus what was on her mind .

"I have a date on Friday," she blurted.

It could have been her imagination, but she could have sworn she saw Severus stiffen beside her.

Her admission affected Severus in a way he would not have expected. He was suddenly envious of a man whose name he did not even know.

"A date?" he forced himself to say neutrally.

She nodded. "I was delivering our potions to the Apothecary and Jeremy Briston asked me out for dinner. I don't know what made me say yes. Maybe because it was so unexpected and I was on the spot."

"Indeed," Severus said, unable to keep a hint of disdain out of his tone.

Hermione sighed. "I don't know what I have gotten myself into, Severus."

"You could always cancel the arrangement, if you are not feeling up to keeping it." He closed the book he was using a little harder than he meant to.

She shook her head. "I couldn't. Besides, he's one of our bosses. Oh, bollocks! I'd not even thought of that! What if the date goes horribly and he fires me?"

"If he knows what is good for his business, such a thought will never even cross his mind. You cannot go on this outing acting as someone you are not. Especially to try and win the favor of this man in the hopes that he will not fire you.

"You're right of course. It's just now I'm even more nervous and worried than I was before." She bit her lower lip.

Severus reached for her hand, and tried to understand why he had been finding excuses to touch her more often. "Are you certain you are ready for this?"

"I'll never know if I don't at least try."

He swallowed hard. "You have your answer then," he nearly whispered.

Severus withdrew his hand, and moved to the other side of the room to finish cleaning up the books they had scattered across his kitchen table.

Hermione felt that Severus was quiet over the next several days. He only seemed to ask questions pertaining to their work, and he gave her short concise answers to her own questions. She was not sure what was wrong with him, but she was too preoccupied with thoughts of her upcoming date to linger on it.

When Friday arrived, Severus tried to keep his morose mood from showing, but it did no good. He snapped at Hermione, he took his temper out on the lab furniture. He hated himself for it, but he could not stop. He was angry, he was jealous and he was afraid. What if the date went well and Hermione and Mr. Briston went on another? And then another? What if this man took Hermione away from him? Was that why he was jealous? Or was it for an entirely different reason?

Hermione was used to Severus' occasional temper tantrums, although he had not had one in a very long time. She surprised him and herself when she was leaving. She reached up and placed a kiss on one sallow cheek.

"Try to have a good weekend and wish me luck."

Severus was too shocked to say anything, and watched as she smiled sadly.

"I'll see you on Monday," she told him and then she was gone. Disapparating from his living room with a sharp echoing crack.

After she had left, Severus touched his cheek with his fingers. It was a long time before he vacated the living room to dive back into his potions.

He worked tirelessly in his lab, and was surprised to hear footfall on the stairs leading down to the lab some ten minutes later. Looking up, he saw Hermione dressed in a very slimming navy blue skirt and white blouse. Her hair was down and curly, but not frizzy.

Uncharacterically frazzled, he dropped the knife he was using and heard it clatter and spin on the cutting board. "What are you doing here? What about your date?"

"What point was there in going if the person I care about is here?"

Severus' eyes widened. Hermione walked to him and reached for his hand. She squeezed it gently. "You do realize I care for you, Severus, don't you?"

He knew she cared about him as a friend, but she seemed to be insinuating she felt more than that. He wanted to ask if she was well or if she had bumped her head, but he couldn't open his mouth.

She smiled at him and Severus found himself staring at her lips as she licked them in an effort to wet them. He felt his breathing quicken. Did she realize how lovely she looked when she did something like that? Severus felt blood rushing through his veins and he hardened in response to the desire in her brown eyes.

She leaned closer to him and he felt drawn to her like a magnet to metal. Their lips met, their tongues explored and their hands were everywhere at once. Hermione pressed herself against him and Severus groaned, his eyes closing at the feeling she evoked in him.

Breathing heavily, Severus' eyes shot open, and he found himself not with Hermione in the lab, but alone staring at his bedroom ceiling. That wasn't all he found. Glancing down the bed at himself, he noticed his trousers tented away from his lower body. His body hummed with pleasure, and for the first time in as long as he could remember he had an erection for a purely sexual reason.

Part of him was disgusted, guilty and disappointed in himself for dreaming about such things that included Hermione.

Another part of him was thrilled, excited and very aroused. The dream made him realize how attractive Hermione was in body. He already found her mind and personality attractive.

He sighed heavily, wondering just what he should do. He very much wanted to reach down and stroke himself, but he was afraid he might feel disgusted when the act was over. He rolled to his side, trying to ignore the electricity that seemed to pulse through his body. For a few moments he managed to.

His eyes fell upon the half opened black potions journal on his bedside table, an unused new Quill between its ivory pages. He had been day dreaming and had fallen asleep before he had picked up the book to jot his ideas down. He had been thinking about Hermione and how she had kissed him on the cheek. He remembered how warm and soft her mouth had been, how shy she appeared after stepping away. Then he remembered the Hermione in his dream. He vividly remembered the taste of her lips, the feel of her against him. Pressed tight against his body.

Involuntarily, one hand slipped beneath the waistband of his trousers and underwear. It closed around the rigid flesh, that strained against the fabric. Severus' eyes closed and he swallowed hard. His hand began to move as images danced beneath his eyelids. As he pumped up and down, his breathing became harsh and his heart thumped wildly in his chest. He attempted to hold back the feeling that was building, but he also wanted it too badly. On the next upstroke he used his thumb to pin his glans against his hand. The motion caused his finger to touch that glorious place.

His body arched off the bed. "Hermione…" he gasped. A powerful release caught him off guard and he fell hard onto the mattress as the evidence of his desire spurted onto his hand and underwear.

He panted for a long time in the dark, basking in the afterglow. A quick spell cleared away all evidence of what he had done.

He felt his rapidly beating heart slam into his ribcage as a realization struck him. No…not again… He was feeling things for Hermione that he should not. Look what had happened with Lily…Yet could he blame her for walking away after what he had done? Why Potter? Why had she gone to Potter..and Hermione…Hermione was not here with him tonight. She was on a date with another man.

Jealousy reared its ugly head. Severus realized he cared for Hermione a great deal. He was then distraught by such knowledge. How could he betray Lily by feeling something for Hermione? And exactly what did he feel for Hermione? He was not so naïve to believe it to be love, but he knew he felt more than just friendship.

He gazed down at himself and the wrinkled bed linens surrounding him. He had just…while thinking about her…

How was he to face her on Monday morning?