Notes: This fic is still dedicated to Sandman Bubblefish. Hope you enjoy it!

Slither 2

"So, how did sex work for you two, anyway?" Bakura asked casually as the three of them sat around the small campfire, now burning splintered wood from the side of the food stall.

"Work?" Seto asked, not entirely sure what Bakura was getting at. Yami just attempted to ignore the entire conversation and concentrated on trying to get Yugi to open his end of the link and come rescue him from being stuck in a cave with Bakura. The problem with that was that Yugi had the same philosophy towards his end of the link that he had towards his email inbox and the mail – no news is good news. It was always going to be either someone wanting money or someone wanting rescuing. It often made Yami want to threaten his tiny hikari into keeping his end of the link open, but he was the pharaoh and threatening children was unbecoming of royalty. He was slightly envious of Bakura's unstable group of friends, who used their links for everything from 'I'm going down the shops, do you want anything?' to 'Malik is walking around naked again, stay out of the hallway for the next ten minutes.' Bakura could probably get in touch with Ryou easily, but Yami decided he'd have to be a lot more desperate before he asked the tomb robber for help.

"How did sex work for you? Were stepladders involved?" Bakura was asking, sucking on a lollipop he'd pilfered from the snack stand. It was steadily turning his tongue blue, but he didn't seem to mind.

"We did have a slight problem with the height difference," Seto murmured, thinking about it. Yami flushed and glared at them both.

"I cannot believe you're discussing our sex life with this ingrate." The pharaoh hissed at Seto, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"Former sex life," Bakura reminded with a malicious grin. "Alright, tell me something honestly, Pharaoh." The thief said, looking seriously over at the game king. "Do you ever call Yugi 'Mini-Me'?"

Yami would have leapt across the fire and attempted to throttle the smirking thief if he hadn't been so surprised to hear Seto actually snickering.

"I'm glad you find this so amusing, Seto." The pharaoh growled coldly.

"You know, your shadow looks like a bonsai palm tree. Do they make those?" Bakura asked, directing the question at Seto, who shrugged.

"Probably." The CEO replied, quite enjoying watching Yami get angrier and angrier.

"You should be kept in a cage, tomb robber." Yami muttered darkly, unwrapping the peanut butter and jam sandwiches to take his mind off how much he wanted to kill Bakura. The problem was, he always came back.

"Kinky." The thief purred, grinning. "Ok, experiment, because I need something to take my mind off both the throbbing in my back and the fact that you're going to actually eat those blasphemous sandwiches." Bakura decided. "Concentrate really hard on the power of friendship and the heart of the cards and whatever other hippie rubbish you believe in, and let's see if your friends magically turn up and dig us out."

Yami scowled through a bite of his sandwich, not enjoying the fact that his enemy was amusing his ex-boyfriend at his expense.

"Fine, I will. You'll be sorry you doubted the power of friendship when-" Yami began, cut off when Bakura pointed behind him with a shocked look on his face.

"I don't believe it, it actually worked," The thief gasped dramatically.

"Really?" Yami turned, growling when Seto actually laughed. Turning back, he glared murderously at the slightly demented thief who was now licking his lollipop like a cat with a matching wicked feline smile on his face.

"My mistake. I must be delirious, perhaps I'm allergic to you." Bakura said in his accented purr.

"One day, tomb robber-" Yami growled.

"You'll grow taller?" Bakura popped the lollipop back in his mouth and grinned around the stick.

"If this were Egypt I'd have you flogged, thief." Yami threatened. Seto was watching the sniping with interest, sitting back casually against a large, mostly vertical piece of the wall.

"Promises, promises..." Bakura purred again, sucking on the lollipop in the most perverted way Yami had ever seen anyone do anything. Seto's eyes were fixed on the pale lips of the thief, whose demonic eyes were sparkling from the flickering light of the fire. "Have you ever been flogged, Pharaoh?" The Ring spirit asked. "It's magical, you should try it. There's nothing quite like feeling that sharp crack of pain across your back, tied up waiting for the next blow with the blood running down your skin..." The thief licked his lips. "Makes me miss the old days."

"I always knew you were a masochist." The pharaoh commented in a distasteful voice, noticing that Seto's eyes had glazed over slightly. Damn that thief.

"You don't like it rough, Pharaoh?" Bakura smirked, turning and raising an eyebrow at Seto, who shrugged.

"Certainly not, you perverted deviant." Yami scowled, making Bakura laugh.

"That has to be the best thing I've been called all day. What about you, Seto?"

Seto decided he very much enjoyed the way Bakura said his name in that slightly husky voice, and annoying Yami was quite amusing too.

"That's for me to know," The CEO said smoothly, "and for you to find out."

Bakura was about to reply that he would very much like to take Seto up on that offer right there and then, but Yami stood up and threw some more wood viciously into the fire, looking about as pissed off as Bakura had ever seen him.

"We're trapped underground with no way out and that was the last of the firewood. My friends will come and rescue us, but I don't want to spend however many hours I'm stuck here listening to you two flirting!" The pharaoh snarled, not phasing either of his companions in the slightest.

"You're too short to be threatening, give it up." Bakura advised. "Your friends are too stupid to find us, they have the collective IQ of a hairdryer. I already told Ryou to use the Ring to find us anyway, he'll be here with the others as soon as they dig Otogi and Malik out from the Black Crown."

"Do not call my friends stupid, thief! At least none of my friends drink bleach!" Yami hissed.

"Your friends drink bleach?" Seto questioned, watching Bakura finish his lollipop and toss the stick casually into the fire.

"Marik drinks bleach. And only when Ryou fails to buy enough alcohol to sustain him. The rest of the time he sits in our living room, drinks fire water and eats rusks." Bakura explained. "On the plus side, if they put sugar in his vodka again he'll have us dug out of here in no time. And you wondered why his grin kept sliding off his face on the Battleship."

"You call my friends idiots? What about the pack of freaks he hangs around with?" Yami accused. Seto shrugged once again, which was becoming a habit.

"They're more interesting than your cheerleaders. At least they have individual brains instead of hive mentality." Seto said.

"I love it when you use big words." Bakura commented, fangs glinting in the firelight.

"I'll have you know, my friends -" Yami began, cut off by a snort from Bakura.

"Are inferior to my friends. Now shut up about friends, dwarf." The thief leant back, closing his eyes for a few moments. "My back is throbbing." He mentioned, enjoying saying the word 'throbbing'.

"At least I don't look like an 80's hair metal throwback." Yami sneered, completely unaware that Bakura actually took that as a compliment.

"No, you look like either a really bad acid trip or a rainbow exploding on top of a midget." Bakura replied easily, arching up with a slightly obscene groan. "I'm going to ache so much tomorrow."

"Come here," Seto said, allowing Bakura to gladly scoot over and lean with his head on the CEO's lap, both of them smirking evilly at Yami. Seto's long fingers set to work gently massaging the half-healed bruises all over Bakura's back, and the thief moaned happily.

"My hero..." He groaned, discreetly watching the pharaoh glare into the fire like he wanted to kill everything he'd ever seen.

"Don't mention it, I'm sure you can pay me back later." The brunette said, running his fingers down Bakura's spine and trying not to be too turned on by the way the thief arched at the touch.

"They should make suicide capsules for situations like these." Yami muttered bitterly, poking at the fire with a bit of metal.

TBC

I realize how short this is, and that it was only supposed to have two chapters. I decided to split the last chapter in two and post what I have here so far, because things are going to be very hectic for the next few weeks and I have precious little time to write when I'm not totally knackered. I'll start on the next bit when I have my next spare hour or two.