Adventures of Harry and Pansy

by Lylian

Three

Out in the Courtyard

The courtyard was by no means empty. There were students chatting on the other side of where Harry sat. He watched as the fifth years laughed and sat down in the shade of a tree. From there he lost sight of the two.

Then Harry turned his attention to the top of the tree. A small winged animal swept through the leaves, causing shadows to move along the ground. It stopped at the highest branch and sang to its heart's content.

A quaffle shot past the bird, and it flew in the opposite direction of the rambunctious boys. They didn't care that they were disturbing the peace. They were comfortable with throwing a quaffle back and fourth, laughing when it slipped through one boy's fingers and landed on the ground.

Harry was distracting himself from the projects that he had to continue. Wizarding school had much more writing than was given credit. He had an essay assigned in both Transfiguration and Charms, and he needed to read his text in Divination and answer questions.

At times, Harry really did wish to be completely normal. Schoolwork was completely normal, but this was pushing it. When it came to lessons, he wanted to be anywhere but there.

This bench in the courtyard would consistently provide distractions. There was always movement and a constant flow of nature. He didn't realize how, although riddled with disturbances, it could also provide an atmosphere of ease, of ordinariness.

It was the first time Harry decided to take his work outdoors. The library was a stuffy place, which smelled of murky books and antiquity. It was so silent that it was hard to think without wondering if everyone in your proximity could hear your thoughts.

The common room was always alive with excitement. It was difficult to continue work when every person who passed the portrait greeted you or challenged you to a game of gobstones.

There was no study hall today, so that ruled out another option.

Harry's shared dormitory would have made perfect sense if it was not for Ron and Hermione's bickering about Ron's lack of organization. Ron had apparently lost one of the assignments that Hermione lent him to "check on his answers." He left them without either one noticing.

The sunlight gleamed on the parchment Harry had on his lap, so he shifted to face in a different direction. He didn't expect to be bothering anyone but himself, but as Harry turned he noticed that his bench was occupied by another student.

Startled by her nearness and stealth, Harry searched his mind to say something equally biting and uninviting. He didn't ask for company, but he didn't want to sound appallingly rude as well. But she spoke before he did.

"Did you know we're related?" said Pansy Parkinson, out of the blue.

It took a moment for Harry to register a response. "Really?"

"Yes." Pansy lifted her parchment to eyelevel. "I figured it out just now. My grandmother's sister on my father's side was the second wife of your grandfather's cousin, on your father's side."

"And that makes us?"

"Relatives. Not blood related. It's complicated."

"I see," said Harry. "…Do you know who my grandfather's…cousin's…first wife is?"

Pansy shuffled her notes. "She was a Dora Potter, nee Longbottom."

"I'm related to Neville?"

"Only distantly."

"Hmm. Can I ask why you're telling me all this?" Harry questioned.

"Well, I figured, coz, that we could help each other out. As family, of course."

Pansy smiled widely, so that her teeth shown.

Harry groaned. "I knew you wanted something."

"I don't want anything!" Pansy replied, affronted. "I just thought that family would be there for each other! But, if you're going to be a stiff about it…"

"What is this about, Pansy?" said Harry.

"As newly discovered family and as being related and all, could you, perhaps, do me a favor?"

"No."

"What?" cried Pansy. "But we're family!"

"Not by blood."

"You're terrible. I disown you!"

"That was quick."

"But, but…." She struggled for the right words. "Please?"

"This must be big for you to resort to begging," said Harry as he pushed aside his work. "Alright. Humor me."

"I was told by a…certain someone that I get jealous too easily. And I know for a fact that he'll be walking by in roughly five minutes." She paused to check on her watch and her eyes widened with panic. "Take it back. He'll be passing by sooner than that."

"I don't like where this is going. What do you want me to do?"

"To just let me use you as a prop to make him jealous."

"That's funny. You're openly admitting that you want to use me. Touched, really cousin."

Pansy winced as he spit out the last word. "Please?"

Harry gathered his belongings quickly, deciding never to be seen at this spot of the courtyard ever again. "No. I'm not going to be part of your little games."

He stood quickly and Pansy 'accidentally' knocked over his books.

"Oops, silly me," she said innocently.

Nearly growling, Harry got on to his hands and knees to collect everything. It took him a moment to notice that Pansy was standing in front of him, smiling down.

"What?" Harry said.

"This works perfectly for me."

Just as Harry was about to pick up his last book, Pansy, who was standing, kicked the book two meters away.

"Oh, let me get that Harry!" Pansy said loudly.

Pansy Parkinson had never in her life called Harry by his first name. It was always Potter or Scarface or some other derogatory and demeaning name. Knowing that saccharine voice as farce, Harry looked to the other side of the courtyard to see Draco Malfoy and his two goons walking past. They stopped abruptly at the sound of Pansy's voice.

After retrieving the battered book, Pansy bent down to where Harry was, leaned in, and handed him the book.

"Here you go Harry," said Pansy in a syrupy sweet tone. "You know that I'd do anything for you."

Then all of a sudden she kissed him on the cheek. As Harry's eyes widened at the realization of what was happening, Pansy had the nerve to wink.

The thundering of footfalls behind him did not erase any of the shock he was feeling; it only increased it. But it was great that he was so stunned that he couldn't move, because that way Draco Malfoy's aim was better and spot on. Harry didn't know what hit him.

Much later, Harry woke up in the hospital wing with a throbbing eye and pained jaw. At the bottom of his bed were a Chocolate Frog and a note saying this:

Thanks cousin.

Harry decided that he was never going to study in the courtyard again, if he wanted to say safe. The common room, the library, his dormitory were all fine. So long as he wasn't around Pansy Parkinson again. She was one crazy relative (grandfather's cousin's second wife's sister's granddaughter) that he never wanted to deal with.

March 26, 2008