Yay, Joanne's autobiography!!! Some background…takes place in summer 1995, Joanne's 29 and Maureen's 28…okay enjoy!!

Carpe Diem

Prologue

"And tonight's big story involves a major car accident on I-91. The driver of a blue SUV collided with an 18-wheeler carrying a load of bubble bath. No news yet on the how the victims are; more information at 11. Back to you Katie…"

It was an unusually warm July evening as Joanne Jefferson-Johnson sat watching the CBS evening news. The air conditioner wasn't working in the apartment so all Joanne had to cool her down was a small fan. The lawyer sat on the couch sweating bullets; as she listened to the latest story unfold on the screen in front of her. Maureen had been lying down in their bedroom and was now bored. She stepped in front of the television as Joanne watched the evening news. The lawyer sighed at her wife.

"Your father's not a glass maker, you know…"

"Huh?" Maureen asked clearly confused.

"Move," When Maureen didn't move Joanne grabbed her by her arm and sat the diva down next to her. Maureen loved being in Joanne's company, even if it was just watching the news. She scooted closer to her wife and laid her head on her lap. Absentmindedly, Joanne ran her fingers through Maureen's voluminous waves.

"Pookie I'm bored."

"Didn't I just buy you a coloring book or something?" Joanne asked while most of her attention stayed focused to the news anchor talk about sheep herders going on strike. They'd gotten upset because they weren't getting reimbursed for all the times shoes ruined by sheep poo.

The diva's eyes lit up as she remembered that Joanne had in fact just bought her a brand new coloring book. Maureen went into the bedroom and rummaged through her things until she finally found what she was looking for.

"Success!" she exclaimed when she saw the colring book's pink laminated cover underneath a pile of clean underwear. Now all that she had to do was find some crayons…

"Joanne?"

"Yes Honeybear?"

"Do we have any crayons?"

Joanne giggled to herself at how young Maureen sometimes acted, "Maureen we are grown women. How many grown women do you know that have crayons in their house?"

"I dunno…How many grown women buy coloring books and no crayons?"

"Touché… check in my office. I may for some crazy reason have some crayons in my supply box."

Maureen laughed at Joanne, "You have a supply box? What a nerd!!"

"Hey, you married this nerd!" Joanne retorted while laughing.

Maureen mumbled a reply while she pillaged through Joann's supply box. Sure enough, right at the bottom was a box of 24 good old Crayolas. Maureen quickly grabbed the box and was about to head out the door when something caught her eye. Right underneath where the crayons previously were, was a picture of what looked like a much younger Joanne and a friend. Maureen turned over the picture and read the writing:
Joanne & Claire-Marie; circa 1980

Maureen walked out of the office with her crayons and coloring book in one hand and newly found picture in the other hand. She walked into the living room and placed her items in the middle of the floor before lying flat on her stomach to begin coloring.

"Found some crayons I see?" the lawyer asked as the news ended. She plopped down next to Maureen and grabbed a crayon out of the box.

Maureen, who had been concentrating very intently on her picture looked up and smiled at her wife, "Sure!!" she said. Before she forgot to, Maureen grabbed Joanne's picture and showed it to her wife.

"Who's this?" she asked innocently.

Joanne smiled as if reliving a fond memory, "Aw, where'd you find this? This is me with Claire—the French Ambassador's daughter. She was in my dorm at Miss Porter's."

"You went to boarding school?" Maureen asked looking surprised.

"Well only on weekdays since my folks worked in NYC but yeah…you knew that right?"

Maureen slowly shook her head before bursting suddenly into tears. Joanne got up and began shushing Maureen as she laid her head against her breast. Realizing that it was her "time of the month" explained why Maureen was so emotional.

"Honeybear what's wrong?" she asked while stroking Maureen's head.

"I-I don't even know you Joanne! Sure I know that you're hot and you went to H-Harvard and all, but that's it! I didn't even know you went to boarding school!"

"Ssshhh sweetie it's okay…How about I tell you all about me okay? Will that make you feel better?"

Maureen sniffled and wiped her eyes, "Uh huh…"

"Alright, where do you want me to start from?"

Maureen sat up some and got comfortable on Joanne's lap.

"Start from the beginning."

"Well then…I was born in Greenwich, Connecticut…where are you going?" Joanne asked as watched Maureen walk away from her.

"Relax, I'm coming back; I was just craving some chocolate so I'm gong to get some ice cream. Want some?"

"Well since you're up, sure."

"Okay and you better have a hella good story ready for me when I get back."

"I will…"

"Promise?"

"As Scar told Simba in The Lion King 'It's to die for…'"