Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto; genius Kishimoto does.

There is a brutal assault in the air, which, needless to even mention, is contaminating the otherwise peaceful morning. As protests threaten to induce ear-bleed, she realizes she's had enough.

"You two are bitter! Your accusations are no truer than it is effective to shoot blanks in the air. Give it a rest already!" Sakura exclaims indignantly, rolling her eyes to assume the smug look that she has perfected long before she became the opposing side of this long-running debate.

"Bitter, you say? Why would we wanna be like that non-practicing homosexual?!" Naruto asks.

"I don't know; go ask yourself why you want to be one. And where did you even get this term?"

Naruto elbows Sai to speak in their defense.

"He doesn't have a girlfriend. He's not looking forward to having one either." Sai says with much blankness. He may have been saying anything of less interest and no importance at all.

"Yes. Exactly the same way you are." Sakura hisses at her new teammate. Sai now stares at Naruto expressionlessly, perhaps asking for something between backup and payback.

The blond boy scrambles about.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, don't change the subject. Sai here is a special case while sensei, well, sensei's gay. Why don't you just admit it?" To Naruto's credit, his reasoning sounds a little above of that of a three-year old.

"Maybe sensei is the one who's entitled to clarifying his sexual orientation, just maybe." Sakura says, "Really, that's some serious accusation, Naruto. Perhaps you two should also consider the reality that it's nearly impossible to squeeze in other things in between leading me and baby-sitting two immature kids on missions and reading his por—I mean—novels."

This shuts the two boys up. Naruto, however, remains reluctant to abandon their attempts to make Sakura share their opinions, even granted that the only arsenal they have in possession is the hazy knowledge (or lack thereof) of Kakashi's civil status. Is he complicated? Forever single? Alone 'til death? Asexual? Queer? What exactly?

Now the two of them are standing seemingly defeated, and Naruto the Genin is opening and closing his mouth, emitting mysterious bouts of indiscernible sounds, which, upon inspection, are actually nothing more than stunted attempts to utter 'buts' and other futile protests.

"I expected better from you, like NOT subscribing to the cock and bull you two are so fond of inventing." She continues to snap at them as if she hasn't come any closer to turning the tables.

"Are you in love with sensei, Sakura?" Sai asks calmly as he always does, not knowing the weight he brings in with the query. He could've blurted it out with much abruptness and would surely receive the same response.

They freeze, instantly knowing that the silence is only momentary, perhaps even shorter. Indeed, the pink-haired ninja is to erupt in a violent fit of anger any minute now.

Instead, she casts them an I-give-up-reasoning-with-you-morons look, and sighs. Then she shoots them a deliberate disgusted glare, looking away in frustration.

"Okay. I'll do you a huge favor. I'll give the proper attention which your ignorance desperately requires. Give me five days. And I'll present to you the most solid evidences that Kakashi-sensei is as straight as you two are twisted. Five days. Then you'll gonna have to stop stuffing bull in my ears. Deal?" The words escape her mouth faster than what's good for her. As such, this offer of uncertain origin leaves her surprised at her own audacity.

"Deal." Naruto and Sai say in unison.

...

Being a prisoner of her own words, Sakura is now delving deep in her own thoughts, formulating strategies on how to figure Hatake Kakashi out. Secretly trailing him sounds ridiculous; a skilled ninja of his level can easily sense stealthy stalkers from a mile away. Now she buries her face in lecture books and manuscripts. As the documents pile to a mountainous curve, she finally concludes she is in dire need of assistance. What she needs exactly is to find a way to observe every movement Kakashi should make...UNDETECTED. Yes, she can suppress her charka to a negligibly minuscule amount, but there's still the task of following him around with the required soundless carefulness, not to mention the trouble of keeping her presence hidden altogether. To top it off, she will have to perform all these at the same time. Impossibility is thick on this one, she thinks.

Frustrated and drained, she sits herself on the bench along the sidewalk where Genma and Raido happen to be passing by.

"Yosh."

"Yosh, Raido-san, Genma-san."

As if her mind has strayed off somewhere, needing to be recalled, she calls out to the two shinobi,

"Excuse me," she starts, considering second thoughts, and upon realizing there's no harm in seeking advice, continues, "Er, can I ask you guys something, something along the lines of your expertise?" She finishes in an unfailingly flattering manner.

Genma takes a quick peek at his wristwatch before saying "Okay."

"Uhm, I'm on a mission. I need to follow someone and go by completely unnoticed. How do I do that?"

"Hmmm. I would've thought Kakashi-san had done a good job on his students," Genma mutters meditatively. He continues, "You do know how to reduce your chakra to avoid detection, right?"

"Yes, but I'm talking about a very skilled ninja here, a Jounin." She answers slowly, the last word notably emphasized.

"It takes practice. You can do a copy-no-jutsu, though I must warn you; it takes considerable amount of charka to perform, so you'd have to balance your efforts on the jutsu itself and suppressing chakra. It is not easy, but that doesn't render it impossible. If you are, however, talking about someone who uses Byakugan or Sharingan, you can forget about it." Genma says informingly, obviously glad about distributing his knowledge. Sakura, on the other hand is on the verge of asking further as to the case of someone who uses half a Sharingan... but then that would give her away right off the bat.

They remain quiet for a while until Raido, who has been silent from the moment of the encounter, speaks,

"I don't know about suppressing charka and copy-no-jutsu working all the time, but, hey, old school stuff does work when you least expect them to."

"Huh?" Sakura and Genma look up at him.

"Well," Raido starts sheepishly, "If you know exactly where this Jounin is going, you can head straight to his destination before he does, so you wouldn't have to follow him and worry about being found out. From there, wait for him and observe. Anyone can hide and, if you did it adeptly, there wouldn't be any need of any jutsus. Thus little effort is required to conceal your default chakra since you only use a scarce amount of it to start with." He recites mechanically as if he were reading some basic procedure.

Genma stares at him disbelievingly, "That's so un-ninja-like." He comments indignantly. He continues to criticize the other's suggestion with an air of authority while Sakura silently dissolves what she has just heard.

It seems rather absurd to depend on one's mundane abilities in handling a delicate task; it's too simple, too lacking in ingenuity, creativity, and intricacy, and yet…

"Thanks!" She exclaims, bowing with a grateful grin, making her way to the park's exit.

It might work, given the elusive fact that Raido has tried and succeeded countless times with its help in spying on Genma hitting the bath. It also appears that Genma doesn't have the smallest inkling that Raido's eyes are the most frequent or perhaps the only customers of his magnificent countenance and visage and, if it even needs mentioning, nakedness. Such un-ninja-like tactic is indeed effective against the non-suspecting victims.

Now here is Sakura in the process of commencing the most heinous crime she has yet to commit; trespassing, stalking, not to mention possible slander once she witnesses what she terribly must not!

She clambers up her sensei's apartment window and throws herself inside with so feline a slyness that not a single soul is disturbed when she hits the wood-paneled floor. She surveys the room, which, to her surprise, isn't as untidy as Kakashi's questionable repute in punctuality leads her to believe.

The bed though, stands quite apart from the rest. It looks as though three wrestlers have used it for a boxing mat. The mystery of the state of the bed will be unraveled later. For now, Sakura waits, patiently, though nervously, hidden behind a shabby armoire and a bookshelf perpendicular to the former. The gap between the two pieces of furniture permits her a clear view of the entry door and the bed.

She waits still, her vigilance unwavering, her determination to stay put unfaltering, while her patience wears thin with each passing second. But just before her ardent anticipation gets the better of her, she hears hurried footsteps and muffled voices beyond the door. She recognizes the voices at once. No sooner than her assumptions are confirmed, Hatake Kakashi enters his apartment accompanied by…Iruka Umino?

And all starts happening faster than what Sakura used to think her senseis are capable of. This is where she sees how skillful Kakashi is, how he stands out among other Jounins. For what she conceives as four seconds, her gray-haired sensei has managed to undress himself and her other sensei and is now pinning the Chuunin on his untidy bed. She hardly has the time to let her jaw drop and the concentration to gather coherent thinking, if she so happens to still possess something like that after what she has witnessed so far. And now she wonders what offense has Iruka inflicted against Kakashi to be treated with such fervent viciousness and violence. But as moans and restrained groans stab the night, the nature of the suspected offense becomes clear to her. It is Iruka Umino's utter hotness, what with his sculpted biceps and six-pack figure, that's pushing the Jounin to behave like a savage animal. There on top of the equally misbehaving Chuunin, who fares nothing less than a beast celebrating his recently acquired freedom, the Jounin is causing the miserable bed to creak, sway, and tremble like it can collapse any time soon.

Sakura watches in immense disbelief as she finds herself not suppressing her chakra but her gasps. Never in her wildest dreams has she dreamed herself being robbed of her innocence in an overt and most inelegant and ungraceful fashion. The extremity of what she's seeing may very well be capable of pushing a pervert like Jiraiya to close his eyes and cover his ears. As things are, she deems herself lucky for having earlier thought against settling herself under the bed, for had she not she would probably be sporting a flattened face by now.

It is the first time in the entirety of her sixteen years of existence that she is exposed to the art of love-making, and an extraordinarily slanted one at that. For now, censoring her senses presents itself as an utter impossibility. She knows it's wrong and obscene to spy on such private and adult activity, the kind of which should forever reside in infinite secrecy yet…She can't get her eyes to shut and her ears to block the sounds which she is forbidden to hear. Her mind is in utter disarray; the only clearing it provides is the fact that the better part of her urges her to stop watching... but the bigger part screams the true pleasure in evilness, or is it something less serious like naughtiness or curiosity? One thing is certain, she cannot reveal her presence. She has to stay put until all is over and the two have gone. She feels a warm tingling sensation trickling on her upper lip. She chooses to ignore it, only to taste something that strongly suggests iron. Apparently, she's enduring a moderate case of nosebleed. Oh shit. She thinks in panic. It's like bailing out of a sinking ship only to realize she's been pumping water in all this time. Yes, Sakura Haruno likes what she's seeing. In fact, she can hardly take her eyes off the spectacle. A slight disappointment creeps its way in when the two ninja are finished, but not without guilt. Guilt that's only temporary, that is.

...

"So, found something out?" Naruto asks Sakura on their way to the noodle shop.

"Huh?" Sakura mutters, her attention veering out of focus.

"We're right, right?" Sai asks in the style he's famous for: blankness meets monotony.

"Er, actually no—I mean, I neither confirm nor deny. I haven't found out anything. I really tried; I followed him everywhere, all to no avail." She lies.

And the three tread their way to the restaurant to fill their stomachs as Sakura meanders off to a long winding reminiscence. She's gotten rid of her guilt by not sharing her knowledge to anyone; it is, after all, morally less objectionable to lie about it than to spread the unlovely—or lovely—truth.

She hastily finishes her meal and dashes away, leaving the two without as much as an explanation or waiting to be called back. She reaches the familiar apartment building and checks her watch. It's 7:25 pm, five minutes before Iruka's dismissal time. It leaves her enough time to reach Kakashi's apartment and, well, savor half an hour of the lovely spectacle that is her senseis' lovemaking. She will engage herself in this covertly operated activity again and again until it becomes a routine, a hard habit to break.

It's not like anyone can blame her for her actions and choice of acutely perverted amusement. It's not like she can do much about her already de-virginized eyes. It's not like the outright theft of her innocence can be reversed. It's not like she can go back to being the bright and sunny girl devoid of stain and malice that she once was. Can she still be salvaged from this new outlook? Perhaps. Though the possibility appears to be sealed up and frozen solid. And the fact that right now, she's very much enjoying the scene…But who knows really?

But then again, it's not like it's not hot to watch two sexy ninjas devour each other with utmost passion.

END

Note: Sakura fans, don't kill me.