Lilith-dono is NOT DEAD!
It seems that I have managed to put out yet another one-shot and I haven't worked much on the sequel Love in a Library. Whoopsie! But you can understand that I have to get an idea out once it's come to me: so why not put a regular Kag/Sess plot from another person's view? Or maybe a dragon?
You may or may not enjoy this one-shot. All that I know is that this idea is simply...unique. I haven't seen a Kag/Sess exactly like it so far. Different is good, right? I can't claim that this is my original idea: hell, maybe someone else thought of it a long time ago! But I hope you like it.
A Friend is all it Takes...
My Lord has always been alone, even among family. I've watched him grow from a pup to a young man and, even now, he seems as lost as ever. As a servant to his family, generations before him even, I must watch him. I must look after him. Inu no Taisho asked me personally to watch his son and help him whenever I could. As a dragon I can't do much. But as a family friend I hope to do everything I can for this boy.
I watch him as he sits underneath a tree for tonight's rest. The little girl he had found so long ago is resting against me, her breathing steady. He stares at us for a moment before looking off into another direction. I know what he thinks of. He thinks of her every night. He's thought of her for the past two years.
I pity him. Love is such a fickle thing: he knows not how to open his heart enough. He is uncomfortable with emotion. He doesn't understand how to express emotion properly…I can be blamed partly for this. I should have kept a better eye on him growing up. I have failed you, Inu no Taisho. I truly say I have failed.
He stares at the moon for a long time. He compares it's beauty to the one he thinks about: her skin that glows like a moon goddess, her midnight blue black hair as beautiful as night's sky. He dreams about touching her, holding her, loving her. He knows he cannot do any of those things and it depresses him.
I can only guess his mind is set on the beauty that travels with his half-brother: the girl in the short, indecent kimono with the love-sparkling eyes. But my Lord knows that the love she holds isn't sent in his direction…they are to another.
He grieves over his lost beauty alone. She is the only one he has ever wanted to be with, the only woman he's ever wanted to touch. Not even little Rin can pick him up when he truly gets lost in his depressing thoughts. It's those times when he leaves our group on his own, ready to grieve his lost-cause love. Usually at those times he also goes to visit his brother, blow off some steam, and see the reason for his sudden depression and anger.
He shifts slightly against the tree. He looks from the moon to where I rest. His eyes are glazed and if I didn't know him well I'd believe he is about to cry.
"Why her?" He asks softly, coldly.
"Why not her?" I ask him, quietly as to not wake either retainer or child. I rarely speak. When I do so I only speak of important matters.
"This Sesshomaru wishes not to think of a human in such ways," he says with lacing bitterness in his voice. I sigh.
"Why not think of a human in such ways? If she is able to make you feel what you haven't felt in so long, perhaps she shouldn't be tossed aside so easily?" I ask. He sighs after me.
"She longs for another," he murmurs.
"Allow her to long for another," I tell him. "If you truly care about her as much as you do, be by her side. Allow her friendship. Give her companionship. For she is just as lost as you, My Lord. She is just as lost as you."
"How so?" He asks, turning to look in my direction. He has been looking at the tree in front of his vision, and now that I have entered the conversation he wishes it to be eye to eye. He will not participate unless he is looking directly at his speaking partner. Not just anyone can say they are given the chance to have a lengthy conversation with the cold silent demon lord of the West. This will be only a second time for me and I'm not even sure how much he will speak.
"You have not analyzed her as well as you should have, My Lord. Pardon me saying this, but you know nothing about the girl at all," I say. His eyes flash a dangerous amber gold signifying his anger, but his handsome face remains impassive.
"True, I know nothing," he admits moments later after the sudden anger subsides.
"She wishes for one to understand her. Your hanyou brother does not understand the woman-child's thoughts and never shall. He is too involved with the dead priestess to notice her. It kills her inside each time, My Lord. Do you know anything of a woman's heart?" I ask. He frowns a bit and barely shakes his head.
"No, I do not," he admits again. "But I wish…" For a brief moment I can see his feelings, fears, and wishes in his eyes. I can read every little thought in his mind, every little emotion in his heart. But he realizes he has spoken too much to me. He wishes to remain aloof from such realizations. He doesn't want to understand the abundant love he has for her. He doesn't want to do anything with that love.
Seeing him hesitate I bow my head, close my eyes and say, "Good night, My Lord. You have thoughts to ponder. Perhaps we will speak another night at another time."
He is surprised with my sudden decision to end our discussion, but I can see he understands why I have as well. His thoughts are not clear, and need to be revised. Perhaps a few more cool brisk nights is what he needs to clear his head…
Or so I hoped. My hopes, sadly, were in vain.
He does nothing the next day, and nothing the next. He does not approach me and I do not approach him. It is weeks later until he decides to speak to me again.
"I saw her again," he announces calmly, sitting beside the small fire the small green retainer had built. Said retainer is off by a tree, snoring loudly with flowers on his baldhead. The little girl is once again curled beside me, looking to me for warmth. Never has she looked to Sesshomaru for warmth during the night—perhaps this is his first test. The test to win over a little child's heart before the woman he wants most.
When I decide to say nothing, he continues, "She agreed to meet me. Last night."
"I see, My Lord. How did you manage this, if this retainer may ask?"
"I…" he fumbles, an odd mannerism that I am not accustom to. He is silent again until he finally speaks, "This Sesshomaru knows not of how he managed to get the miko to meet him."
"When did you meet her?" I ask.
"About this time yesterday," he says, closing his eyes. "I am a way to get back at her hanyou."
"Ahh." I whisper in understanding. "Why do you allow yourself to be used, My Lord?"
"Because…" He began. "Because she is my weakness and my strength. I allow her to control me because of my weakness; I allow her near me because she is my strength."
"Very well put," I tell him. "Your father would be proud."
"I follow his same path," he agrees. "Somewhat, I assume."
"No, My Lord. You follow your own path. Your father has not influenced your decisions," I say. "And your father would be proud."
I swear I can see a faint, wistful smile on his lips. As soon as it comes it goes, however. A smile is never kept on Lord Sesshomaru's face.
"Kagome…" I hear him whisper. He is hoping I have not heard him, but I have. So she is the little vixen to make my Lord rethink his actions and morals. That is her name?
"Use her name when she asks you to. That will please her greatly," I say. He freezes for a moment at my advice before slowly nodding his head. He then closes his eyes and thinks about her. He thinks about the joys they could have if he only would approach her. He dreams of the beautiful memories he could make with the little priestess. But dreams are only dreams. Thoughts are only thoughts. Reality is reality. Only if he decides with his body and soul to make a dream reality will he intercross the two. He can make his dream reality if he really puts his mind to it.
His meetings continue and I silently watch each individual night as he returns. His face seems the same as any other day, but clearly his eyes hold a brilliant sparkle I never thought would return. He once had this spark in his eyes, but only when he was a child. That spark was always directed towards his mother before she departed from the castle, abandoning both mate and pup. But she made her decision through her heartbreak of Inu no Taisho's newest mate. She hadn't thought about her pup and how he would be affected. What if she could see him now at the age of 2,300 years of age? Would she be angered with herself over her son's emotionless outcome? Would she feel shame? Guilt? Guilt that she had made him this way and after so many years he is finally finding the happiness he deserves?
I shouldn't dwell on those matters. What matters now is the little human girl picking flowers near my side, twirling the green stems into messy chains. She attempts to make a long chain, but yellow daffodils fall limp onto the ground. She's near tears now and I nudge her cheek with my nose to bring her spirits up. She smiles at me, pets my two heads, and sits down to try and create another chain.
"I can do this, Ah Aun," she says. "I can do it and give it to Sesshomaru-sama when he returns. How about that?"
I reply with nothing. The little girl understands my silence and takes it as a yes. Her precious Sesshomaru-sama, our lord, has gone off again to meet the little priestess that has captured his heart.
"Should I make one for Kagome-chan too?" She asks. She looks for a moment, those lively brown eyes staring at me with a knowledge I did not know she possessed. So she has known about her lord and the miko?
I itch forward to ask her how, and she decides to tell me, "Sesshomaru-sama sure has been acting strange, hasn't he?" She pauses and giggles. "I'm happy that my Sesshomaru-sama is happy."
And so am I.
"You have given her the attention she deserves?" I ask him later in the evening once he returns from his meeting with the miko. He nods as he looks to see if Rin is truly asleep. Once he confirms that both retainer and child are dreaming peaceful dreams, he decides to speak to me.
"Yes," he says. "She told me tonight I have her full trust."
"You smell of her," I observe. "How did she touch you this time?"
He doesn't respond and I don't expect him to. What he wishes to keep to himself is his own business.
"She's joining us tomorrow," he mumbles, resting his chin on a clawed hand. "My half-brother has betrayed her once more."
"How so?" I ask.
"The undead bitch," he growls. His eyes flash dangerously as his nails glow a dull green (a habit he's picked up whenever he grows immensely agitated).
"Such filthy language, My Lord," I tease. "When shall she be joining us?"
"Tomorrow morning," he announces, shifting in his place. I sigh.
"The hanyou knows nothing of her plans?" I ask. He shakes his head in reply.
"No. Nothing," he mumbles, tilting his head up towards the night sky. The stars reflect in his eyes and I can see new amber in his eyes. A new gold. His love for her is abundant. I know this woman, no matter how human she might be, is lucky. To have his devotion, to have his strengths, and to share his weaknesses is a wonderful honor. She will be protected for the rest of her life. She will be spoiled with his love for the rest of her life.
"I will enjoy the pleasure in meeting the one who has taken my Lord's mind, body and soul," I say, receiving a cold glare at my comment. He doesn't like being teased on this issue.
"Hn," he mumbles. "Will you, Ah Aun, speak to her as you do to your Lord?"
"If she is my future Lady, then I shall," I tell him. I cannot see through the dark shadows of the night, but I can assume he is blushing.
"You know nothing of which you speak," he sternly replies. "She may or may not become this Lord's Lady."
"But you wish her to?" I ask. He remains silent and I take it as my turn to become silent as well. The girl shifts beside me and I try to make her more comfortable. Once she is warm and happy I find my eyes shutting.
"Yes," he whispers. And we leave it at that: he needs not say anymore and I need not know anymore. Because whatever my Lord wishes, he gets. If he desperately needs this woman then he shall have her. And he does have her. He has her love now as he thinks of her. My Lord always has what he seeks, and it will take a determined answer from either person to see if they want to make the love they have greater. At that time they will become mates. Otherwise now…
…Now he just has to be a good friend.
How did you like it? Pop me a reivew, ducky.
Lilith-dono