Dare Emmett to go striping in the mall.

Double dog dare him with a Scooby snack on top when he says "no."

Actually let him eat the Scooby snacks. (Vampire vomit is like toxic… well to me because I just really hate to clean.)

Throw a dance party with the Twilight characters invited.

Let Alice give you an extreme make over. (Can you say "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!" because I know I can.)

Cut holes in Jasper's clothes where is shouldn't be so when he goes out he will notice the whole female (and some of the male) population lusting after him.

Let Rosalie ride shot gun. (She'll bitch about why she should get it until she get you drive.)

Doubt Edward's love for Bella.

Whoa! What the hell?! EDWARD!!! I TOLD YOU TO STAY OFF MY COMPUTER WHILE I WAS GONE!

Let Edward get a hold of you computer while you're gone. Bastard…

Call Edward a bastard…

Secretly video tape Emmett playing with dolls while singing "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.

Upload that tape on to you tube.

Watch him cry (or dry sob) for a week while the whole Forks town laughs.

Video tape Emmett (dry) sobbing.

Switch all Alice's cute pants and skirts with a Scottish kilt.

Plan a two day trip for Carlisle and Esme. Lock Bella in a room filled with blood; knowing the Cullens would probably loose control if they go in. And treatment if they called Carlisle to help them, you would unleash the embracing stories that Emmett told them.

Shave Mike's head, dye his scalp green, give him purple contacts, eyeliner and dye his warobe pink.

Write a part three on "What not to do after reading Twilight.