Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki and I will not say I wish I did because it's rather obvious already that I do. I did invent Fruity-O's, but I will not be held responsible for any physical or mental distortions, dicolorings, ailments, or anything of the sort.

It was a dumb idea. Just dumb.

They were a criminal organization.

For them to be living together seemed just wrong.

Secret base? Cliché.

Curfew? Childish.

Bunk beds? Now that's just ridiculous.

But then again, so was his partner.

"I WANT THE TOP BUUUUNK un."

"Keep your cloak on, your acting like a little kid." Came the response of the least enthusiastic of the pair, Sasori.

He wondered what he'd done to deserve such a partner - Deidara was always late and ill-prepared, it seemed.

And stupid. Sasori recalled the day they first met, when they recruited Deidara...

-ZOMGFLASHBACK-

"Leave me alone, I'm trying to take in the art here, un!"

"Yeah, he'll definitely die on us."

"My art lives, my art breathes! My art explodes!" boom

"I challenge you! If you lose, you will join Akatsuki!"

boomboomboom

"FWASHAHH! SHARINGAN!"

"Eep!"

-ENDFLASHBACKNESS-

Or something like that.

Sasori didn't like having partners. First there had been Orochimaru, who quit just because Itachi stole his hair curler. Wimp.

Now there was Deidara. Screaming, dumb, childish blondie Deidara. Sasori finally understood all those old jokes...

"BREAKFAAAAAAST! GET DOWN HERE!"

"Oh, food, un! C'mon Danna, let's go!"

Hungry from all that hardcore top-bunk-claiming action, Deidara eagerly swept down the staircase to breakfast.

Sasori rolled his eyes and followed, slowly meandering downstairs…

When he finally arrived and took his place at the table, he decided to dare to ask, "Why do we have to eat together, anyway?"

Dear Sir Leader replied, "Sasori, don't you realize? In pairs we operate efficiently, but we don't act as an entire team yet. That's why I've arranged for us to be living, eating, and working together until we can."

Oh hell no.

HEEEEEEEEELL no.

This couldn't be allowed to continue.

Sasori slammed his fist down on the table defiantly and shouted, "WHAT THE HELL?!"

He continued, "I will not be forced to live here with all of you imbeciles! What kind of criminal organization had 'bonding time'?! We'll be the laughing stock of the ninja-verse if this goes on!

THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE FANS!!"

Then came a reply from Itachi. "Didn't he just penetrate the fourth wall?"

"Just sit down and eat your Fruity-O's, Sasori."

"Yes, sir…"

Author's Note: What kind of gay cereal name is Fruity-O's?