"Sirius, I-" Harry began, talking as he pushed open the kitchen door, expecting to see his Godfather on the other side. Instead he was meet by- nobody. But he had seen Sirius enter earlier and he was sure he hadn't come out since,

"Sirius?"

He asked the empty room, feeling foolish. He turned to leave again,

"Harry! I thought you and Ron had headed off to The Burrow already! What can I do for you kiddo?"

Sirius replied casually, climbing up the cellar steps. He'd been in the cellar, of course! Harry blushed slightly at his own idiocy,

"Ron wasn't quite ready yet." He paused; "Sirius, I was wondering if, maybe, you know the attic?" he spoke slowly, suddenly becoming very interested in the hole at the toe of his sock.

"Yes," Sirius asked, not seeing where this was going in the slightest, and hoping to any God that would listen that Harry did not notice the odd buttoning of his shirt or that he was utterly out of breath,

"Well, I was wondering if-maybe, only if it's ok with you, of course! But if, um, well - could Ron, Hermione and I use it as a study-den-sort-of-thing? No, sorry I shouldn't have said anything! Sugar, forget I said anything ok? Sorry, sorry, so-"

He gushed, backing out of the room as he spoke, but Sirius stepped forward and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, cutting him off,

"'Course you can. I'll help you clear it out once you're back from the Weasley's, if you like. It'll need painted and that, but it'll be no problem. Hey, we could even get you some of that Muggle furniture from that new store, what do you call it, Ikea or something? It'd make my dear old mum's day,"

Harry's worried, almost fearful, expression immediately brightened and Sirius, not for the first time, cursed the muggle scum, who had dragged him up,

"Really? Thanks!"

Harry exclaimed elatedly.

"Go on now, Ron's probably ready to go by now, and remember there is no need to thank me, now go!" Sirius grinned and ruffled Harry's hair fondly. Harry smiled and walked away. As he placed his hand on the doorknob he turned and spoke in a voice that could barely be heard,

"You're the best Sirius," He blushed again and left, leaving Sirius feeling not just a little guilty for so hurriedly ending the conversation.

"You can't say that wasn't too close," Remus commented evenly from behind Sirius, climbing up the same steps Sirius had moments before, with a somewhat more composed attitude. Sirius sighed,

"You're telling me!"

"You do realise that we are going to have to explain to him about us sooner rather than later," Remus spoke gently, picking one of his own hairs from Sirius' robe, "too many people have kept secrets from him in the past." He smoothed out the collar of Sirius shirt and leaned into him, stealing a quick kiss over Sirius' shoulder.

"Hmm," Sirius muttered distractedly, shrugging away the butterfly kisses Remus was placing up and down his tensed shoulder. Remus sighed and stopped, moving away and busying himself with making tea, "he will understand, won't he?" Sirius asked worriedly settling himself into a worn hearth chair. He asked the same question every time they had this conversation; this was the millionth time the subject had come up that week alone.

Remus took a few minutes to reflect on his prior answers to the question and find an original way to word what he had been saying the whole time. Hopefully, this time it would be in a way that would get through Sirius's abnormally thick skull.

"Sirius, Harry loves you. You are the only family he has ever had," Remus said gently, setting the kettle on a hob ring, resting his head upon an upturned palm at the kitchen table opposite Sirius,

"-He had the Dursleys," Sirius interjected miserably, tracing the wood grain markings on the tabletop,

"-Sirius, they kept him in a cupboard until he was twelve and pretended he didn't exist- the thing about relations is you have to 'relate', or at least accept the reality of the other person. No, you are the first adult who he has truly connected with. No matter how much he likes the Weasleys, or me you are the one he feels capable of trusting most. If you don't tell him soon, he'll find out some other way and it'll break his heart to know the person he trusts couldn't place the same amount of confidence in him." Remus stilled Sirius' desperately tracing hands with his own – pretending he didn't notice the shake.

Sirius looked up, finally meeting Remus' gaze – searching his gentle grey eyes for confirmation. He got it. Wearing a sort of half smile Sirius shook his head lightly,

"Of course, I'm just being daft right?"

Remus laughed, "Of course! But that's why I love you," he took complete pleasure in the way Sirius' eyes lit up as he said that.

"And to think, I thought it was all about the sex," Sirius grinned. Remus feigned shock,

"You know how to think?" He gasped and Sirius slapped him playfully on the arm. Remus couldn't help but retaliate and one thing led to another. Soon Sirius had Remus pressed against the tabletop holding Remus' arms above his head, their faces almost touching,

"You know," Remus said softly, basking in the delicious warmth of Sirius in such close proximity, "were it closer to full moon, I could have totally kicked your butt."

"Well, there is that…But, there are also the facts that a) I am too cute to hit and b) you fight like a girl." He seized the few seconds when Remus tried to think of a good comeback, Remus was just to damn irresistible…

Sirius bridged the tiny gap separating their bodies and pressed his lips gently against Remus', savouring the delicious taste he could only associate with warmth and summer time, and Remus, of course.

A small choking noise came from behind them and Sirius broke away from the kiss, whipping round to see Harry standing in the doorway a look of shock on his young face.

"You…" He began but it trailed away into nothingness.

"Harry, I've been meaning to tell you-" Sirius started toward Harry, his words outstretched along with his arm like a peace offering. Harry didn't want it and stepped out of Sirius' reach,

"You're gay." He said and Sirius was horrified to hear a clearly repulsed tone beneath his words.

"Harry-" He tried again but Harry shrank back even further,

"Don't touch me! Oh my God, Both of you? You're sick! There has got to be something wrong with you! You'll go to hell! You stupid…fags!" Harry spat the last word darted away down the hall. Sirius didn't follow him.

Harry was homophobic. His Harry. Sweet, gentle, caring Harry was a bigot. Sirius thought he might throw up himself.

"Oh Sirius," Remus said, the remorse clear in his voice, "I never thought he would-" he attempted to wrap his arms around Sirius' waist but Sirius' stepped away from him,

"Don't. Just…don't." Sirius' voice was barely more than a whisper. Without another word he turned and left through the back door. Remus didn't follow him. Slightly numb with the shock he sat down in Sirius' still warm seat and helplessly folded his arms down, resting his head upon them- guilt washing over him. If only he had controlled himself. Harry wouldn't have known and Sirius…poor, Sirius…

Harry meanwhile, was trying to stop the bile, which was rising in his throat. Sirius was gay. His Sirius, Strong, funny, brilliant Sirius was queer. Remus too. God, they had been fooling him the whole time. But why would they want to kiss other men, it was so…wrong.

Harry knew very well the terrible price they would pay in the next life for what they were doing – although the Dursleys had usually pretended Harry wasn't there, they did force him into one of Dudley's unpleasant, scratchy old suits every Sunday for Sunday school. He didn't want that for Sirius and Remus. He didn't want them to burn in eternal damnation forever more, did he?

How much he wished to turn back the clocks by just those few minutes, so Ron didn't have to rush home alone, leaving him, Harry, behind. But he couldn't he had to face the situation he was presented with. No matter which way he looked at it he loved them like the guardians he had never truly had, he didn't want that fate for them. He had only just been saved from it himself, or so the Dursleys had beaten into him. That he should be grateful for God's removal of Nathan from his life, that the Lord had been kind, merciful…

Thinking about Nathan made the gorge rise in the back of his oesophagus again and this time he couldn't stop it. He hurled himself from his seat upon the top stair and dashed along the landing – making it to the bathroom without a second to spare. He retched miserably into the toilet bowl, hot tears streaming down his cheeks as memories he had tried to forget for so long dashed back into his mind…

"They don't like you either, huh?" A clumsy hand out of the blur the world had become pushed the distorted shape of his glasses back onto Harry's nose. Although the lenses were half-caked in mud, Harry could still make out the form of Nathan Semple.

"Thanks," Harry said as Nathan helped him up out of the mud into which Dudley and his gang had pushed him not moments before. Nathan was a thin, incredibly quiet boy in Harry's class at Stonewall primary school. Harry had just been transferred from his first primary school – things hadn't gone well there and the Dursleys had no option other than to let Harry attend the same primary as Dudley.

Dudley had not taken it well. He had managed in approxiamately one week to turn the entire primary three year against Harry- some feat for a seven year old. Everyone hated Harry – they all thought he was weird, scary even, except Nathan it would appear.

Harry knew Nathan was not well liked. He knew Nathan had been the subject of Dudley's bullying prior to Harry's arrival. He knew that Nathan was probably only being kind because Harry was now the one used as a live punching bag. He knew he should hate Nathan for getting away from Dudley's cruelty – leaving him to receive the torture. He knew he couldn't do that.

After that incident and small act of kindness, Harry and Nathan became friends – good friends. They walked home as far as the street before Privet Drive together, they ate lunch together, Nathan hid up the tree in the Dursleys back garden when Harry had to do his gruelling chores, Nathan cleaned Harry up after Dudley messed him up, Harry comforted Nathan when his alcoholic mother had another one of her 'episodes'; they took care of each other. They understood each other perfectly, never pushing each other to talk about the problems in their lives yet both were always there when the other needed them. Due to their various issues, both boys grew up faster than they should have – both seeing things no child their age should see, dealing with stuff no kid should ever have to deal with.

Although they were the same age Harry always looked up to Nathan like an older brother- family.

At the age of nine, the Dursleys started to physically harm Harry – Nathan was furious when he found out.

"Honest – Nate, it isn't as bad as it looks!" Harry cried, attempting futilely to stop the other boys angry ranting,

"I'll kill him– I swear to God, I'll do it!" Nathan was practically hysterical as he paced the length of his bedroom; walking so hard he was going to wear down the floorboards, "Punching a nine year old? How the hell is that man's brain wired? He has a sodding screw lose! How long has this been going on for?" He span on his heel and crouched down in front of Harry, who was still considerably shorter than Nathan due to the lack of stability or maintenance of his diet – what little there was to it.

"Not that long…" Harry trailed away, refusing to meet Nathan's steady gaze,

"Harry," Nathan's tone was gentler as he took Harry's chin in his hand and turned his head slightly so Harry was looking directly into his eyes, "how long?"

Harry took one look into Nathan's serious brown eyes and his face crumpled. His tears stung as they fell from his swollen shut left eye but he had given up on trying to hold them in, "Months." He whispered hoarsely and Nathan's jaw dropped slightly. He gathered Harry's smaller, malnourished body into his arms and hugged him tightly. Harry clung to him desperately, as though the other boy was the only thing keeping him anchored in this world, sobbing his heart out.

Nathan sat down on the bed beside Harry and pulled him in close to his side, Harry nestled into the crook of Nathan's neck, urgently seeking comfort from Nathan's reassuring warmth.

"One day," Nathan promised passionately, "one day, I will take you away from all this. I'll save you – I promise. Some day, we can get on a train and go some where no one knows us. Some day…some day, soon." He leaned his head gently on top of Harry's and listened to the other boy's heartbeat and breathing, the latter of which slowed and evened out as he went to sleep. Soon Nathan followed him into peacefully dreams of freedom and brighter days…

To Be Continued...