Roy Mustang is a playa. Which is why he's so desirable. That is all.

Basic Information:

Name: Roy Mustang (also responds as Roy, Colonel, Mustang, Taisa, Flame Alchemist, Flamey, Hot Tamale(don't ask), Colonel Bastard/Colonel Shit (by Ed) and Hey you, give me back my girlfriend!)

Age: 29 (but 30 in the manga!)

Born: Uh...

Height: 173 cm (hahaha, convert it on your own)

Weight: This information is classified military information and can be viewed in Roy Mustang's personal file with permission.

Likes: Girls and all the things you can do to them -sweatdrop-, miniskirts, fire, the idea of being Fuhrer, his friends, making fun of people, namely Ed, being lazy...

Dislikes: Water, being called useless, war, working

Family: ...unknown except proven that he has 3 older sisters that used to put him in dresses when he was young...okay...that's just weird...

Fangirls claimed by: Kiyoko, Eli(fullmetal'sgirl92), silver candle, Vannessa Hillstead, Drifting Wolf, Mortis Royale, Riza Hawkeye -although she won't admit it- (contact Full Metal Ayumi to claim a bishi! It's never too late to pick someone already chosen!)

Current Status: Escaped as of July 3rd. Currently slaving away on paperwork as Hawkeye watches him with a loaded gun.

Knowing Roy Mustang:

Things you need to know about Roy Mustang before you go to kidnap him:

The pimp/lady's man of Fullmetal Alchemist, Roy Mustang is the perverted military official of Edward Elric. His current goal is to become the Fuhrer to 'reshape the country' as he claims, though it is known that he will make all female personal wear tiny miniskirts as part as their uniform. (Oh, the horror...)

It also should be noticed that Roy Mustang is extremely lazy and usually has to be threatened to get to work. He also hates rain/water before they render his flame alchemy useless, which he hates being, even though it is.

Roy Mustang also secretly has his own personal army which is known as the MiniSkirt Army, or MSA for short. Not much is known about this army except that most of the members are girls and they wear miniskirts. If more information comes up about the MSA, please let us know.

Preparation:

As said before, Roy is a pervert. So prepare to wow him with something kinky. Find your skimpiest outfit and make it even skimpier, use scissors to cut the size in half. Miniskirts especially gain Roy's attention. There's no need to not go overboard; Roy's too stupid to be cautious and basically throws himself at a Mary Sue.

And make sure that Riza Hawkeye is nowhere near Roy while attempting capture. Even though she's not seen, remember her code name 'the Hawk's Eye', plus her excellent shooting skills will take you out in less then a second. The easiest way is by drugging her; slipping some sleeping pills into her afternoon coffee will suffice.

Always make sure you have the Full Metal Ayumi patented Roy Mustang Fangirl Kit with you.

Using bait:

This isn't completely needed, since Roy Mustang is indeed a fool, but it helps anyway.

After making sure Riza Hawkeye is out of the picture, proceed to lure Roy out of the office and outside. This can be used by either sending a loveletter through one of the military officers you bribe, or hanging a miniskirt on a string. After Roy spots it, tug on the string and pull it towards your location. Roy's sure to follow it.

Also, there's always the option of using the FullMetal Alchemist VoiceChanger to either make your voice sound like Riza's to bring outside, make it into Hughes to chase outside while ranting about Hughes' daughter and wife (Note: To be used if your aiming to capture the Roy of episodes 1-26 for spoiler reasons), or you can sound like Major Armstrong and shout about your family's generations.

Capturing Roy Mustang:

To be perfectly honest, capturing Roy is way too easy. So easy, there's really no reason for this chapter. As long as your female, and you have boobs, all you really need to do is knock him out and tie him up.

Now, if the case is that you're flat...

Be creative and combine knowledge from other chapters.

Waking up Roy

Because no fangirl kidnapping is complete without knocking out your bishi. Here's some way to wake him up!

If you happen to have a gun ready, which then you'll have to admit that you're completely psychotic, set it off and yell at him for not doing his paperwork. This will wake him up instantly. Make sure to have some cleaver flirt about paperwork handy.

Another can be splashing him with water. That will not only wake him up, but will also make him useless with his flame alchemy, preventing escape.

Or, you can cheerfully shout "Fuhrer, the miniskirt law has been established!". Be sure that you're wearing some sort of military uniform complete with miniskirt, and after he wakes up, you can start your steamy romance worthy of all the Full Metal Alchemist lemons in the world.

And another option is to do something completely sexy and/or kinky. We fail to describe these actions for this is rated T.

There are many more ways to wake him up, be creative!

Coping with Roy after he's been captured:

It will take a couple of moments for the fact of his kidnapping to register in Roy's small girl obsessed mind, so to keep him distracted before he realizes this, be a fangirl if you want and snog the hell out of him if you need to. Make sure while he's distracted with kissing you, you get rid of his gloves. Hide them well, because he's bound to find them.

Also make sure all matches, sticks, rocks that can make sparks and anything else that can make fire is not present in the household.

Remember that Riza swore to protect Roy, and will come after you when she's found you. Prepare for a fight.

Taking care of Roy

Roy enjoys the fact that he won't have to do anything for himself anymore so here's some proper instructions to take care of him.

Feeding: Roy'll eat practically anything if he's hungry enough, and even if you've chosen to keep his hands untied, he's too lazy to eat by himself and will probably choose to starve then to do anything himself. To avoid that, feed him yourself. It's bound to spark some romance.

Sleeping: Roy doesn't particularly sleep very long during the night, since he spends most of his time during the day sleeping. He won't mind if you use him as a pillow and/or teddy bear as long as you give him something in return. And what he wants is bound to be something perverted.

Leisure: Sleeping and making out (and other things) is basically all Roy wants to do to keep him happy. Make sure to give it to him, otherwise he'll become cranky and might try to escape.

Cleaning: After the first couple of days, Roy will probably get so lazy he'll want you to bathe with him. If that's the case, feel free to dunk him into a tub full of bubbles and jump in with him, or stuff him into a shower with you. This will also spark some romance.

Fangirling:

You're in luck! With Roy being a pervert and all, feel free to go all the way with him! But the more you do, the harder Riza's wrath shall fall upon you. You have been warned.

REMEMBER, ALLOWING THIS FOREVER LABELS ROY AS A PEDOPHILE!

...but who gives a damn?

Escaping:

Roy will probably realized that while he's being 'captured against his will', he wouldn't have to work and will probably stay with you for as long as possible. Mind you, if Riza doesn't show up for a month, he'll get bored and will wander off somehow.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: I took away Roy's gloves so he wouldn't burn any of my flammable stuff, but now he keeps moping around and won't let me take care of him! What should I do?

A: Give him a pair of cosplayer's gloves, the kind not made of ignition cloth. This way, he won't feel as lonely and useless and will cuddle up to you more.

Q: I've managed to hide Roy's gloves...yet again. How the hell does he keep finding them if his hands are tied up?!

A: Somehow, Roy seems to have established some sort of 'Glove Radar' and keeps locating them...try tying him to a chair. He'll be distracted by how kinky that is.

Q: I want Roy to engage in hot and steamy man smex with Ed! How do I get the two of them to cooperate between the sheets?

A: WTF STOP USING THIS GUIDE FOR YAOI

Look under the Edward Elric section for your answer.

Q: Riza's here!!!! HELP!

A: Hahahahahahahahahaha. You're screwed. Nice knowing you, and thank you for purchasing the Fangirl Guide!

Q: Um... Roy doesn't do anything, ALL day. He just sits in one place all day, ignoring me. I kidnapped him for a personal slave, here!

A: You kidnapped the wrong person then. Roy's straight up lazy.

Q: I accidentally let Roy watch some gory war movie and he ran away! When I found him, he was locked up in a dark room, with all these transmutation circles everywhere! What happened???

A: Uh...bad idea. Don't let Roy watch war movies. He'll be reminded of the Ishbalan Massacre and go all emo on you. Don't let him do any human transmutations. In case you didn't know, Human Transmutation equals BAD! Get some apple pie quick, and get ready for some extreme cuddling.

Q: Why is Roy paying more attention to the puppy then me!?

A: Relax, he's just admiring the puppy's loyalty. An easy way to say this is to dress yourself up as a playboy puppy (i.e. playboy bunny outfit but pointy white dog ears like Inuyasha, mini-tail, and leash and collar), and play a nice simple game of Master and Slave. Guess who the slave will be?

(contact to add ur own)

Final Note:

This catch is so simple; it's surprising that Roy hasn't been captured more often. Happy fangirling!