Zana:(sniffs the air) Ah, there's nothing like posting up a new story in a different fandom! I've arrived! (smiles and waves) Hi Naruto Cast!

Naruto Cast: (all hold onto each other and starts screaming with widen eyes of fear)

Zana: I'm not that bad…in fact, I think you'll all learn to love and respect me!

Naruto Cast: … (More screaming. Naruto runs around in circles before crashing into a telephone pole.)

Sasuke: (sighs) They honestly don't pay me enough to do this…

Zana: Meh, you're all babies, including you Sasu-kun (Chidori starts forming in the background)…anyway, time for author notes! (nervous laughter)

Genres: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

Rating: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-13-ish

Warnings: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages (around 16.) And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original right? Believe it or not, this ficcage is.

Pairings: NARU/Sasu plus many others explored, hinted at and so forth.

Sasuke: CHIDORI!!! (explodes Zana's home)

Zana: (wibbles) Not again… (sighs) Anyway, onto the story, hope you all enjoy! (starts wandering the streets with a lone laptop in hand)

Special thanks to my amazing, wonderful beta Miss shy7cat (aka Cat-sama) because she just rocks and helps in my journey to make my writing not completely crap! So THANK YOU MISS CAT! (glomps)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything else. I wished I owned Sai however…this applies throughout all chapters.

Edited: 8/1/07

Naruto Uzumaki arrived eagerly to Spokespane Academy only to be greeted with an empty room.

He sighed softly and began to drag in his personal belongings one by one, setting them on the bed that was obviously his; the one that had yet to be touched. He glanced over to his roommate's side of the room.

Must be a neat freak, the blond thought, for there wasn't a single object out of place. "He didn't even bother to stop in and say hi! Didn't he know he has a new roommate?It's pretty late…aren't all the students supposed to be in their rooms…?" he murmured to himself, falling onto his bare mattress and closing his eyes.

Naruto wasn't expecting a welcome party or anything extravagant like that, but it still would have been nice to have been greeted by a (hopefully) kind roommate. Something to prove that taking advantage of the scholarship offered to him was a good move.

At first he was hesitant; going to school with a bunch of wealthy kids and their crappy uniforms sounded highly unappealing. However, the idea of getting moved to yet another foster home was even worse.

I'm going to have to "apply" myself in my classes from now on if I want to keep staying here. Who knew that stupid exam could really do so much? And here I thought I did poorly on it…

His flow of thought was interrupted when he felt the presence of another standing above him. He opened his eyes, only to be met with three other pairs looking back at himNaruto screamed and promptly rolled off the bed, hitting the ground head first in the process.

"Who the fuck are you guys?! Who do you think you are sneaking up on someone like that? I oughta…!"

"Damn, he's a loud one," one of the three grumbled as he smirked and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. The silver glinted ominously in the florescent lit room. The other two pulled out what seemed to be a blind fold and a mouth gag. Naruto's left eye twitched, "Hey…hey…what the hell are you doing with that shit? Why are you coming so close? HEY….!!!"

Moments later, the blond found that his world has grown dark and he was unable to speak. The cloth shoved into his mouth tasted of sweat drenched socks. The handcuffs chaffed his wrists and felt deathly cold against his flesh. His heartbeat quickened as he tried to struggle free and escape, but to no avail. He could distinctly hear the shuffled footsteps of the bastards who kidnapped him, their footsteps moving quickly as they carried him off to who knew where.

Damn it…damn it...what did I do to deserve this? Are these guys serious? What are they planning to do with me? Holy shit, what if it's like that story where those teens buried the new kid alive?! I need to get out of here! I swear I'm going to beat these assholes good if I make it out of this…

The feel of the cold night air brushing against his skin gave away the fact that they were now outside. Naruto made a panicked sound in the back of his throat.

"We're almost there," he heard one of their voices say, followed by chuckling. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, someone fuckin' save me, I've been abducted by fucking lunatics who are planning to off me! And then they won't find my body until it's been devoured by fucking worms…shit…shit...SHIT!!!

The blond felt his entire body drop to the ground. "…Get his clothes off," a voice ordered. Naruto made a guttural growl in the back of his throat once again; he moved his legs and felt his foot connect with someone's stomach, kicking them away; capable hands then held his legs down. His breath hitched as he heard the zipper of his jeans come undone, the rustle of his shirt being pulled off.

Are they going to…no, they can't…guys don't get…oh God…they're going to rape me and THEN bury me alive!!! This is…this is so fucking embarrassing…its not fair…the damned world's never been fair in the first place…I-

Naruto's boxers were kept on and a surge of relief went through his body, but the brief moment of calm ended as he was lifted up once again.

"Three…two…one…THROW!"

The blond felt himself soar through the air before gravity took hold of him, pulling him down so that his body slammed into what he could tell was water. The liquid rushed into his nasalcavity, filling his lungs. His blindfold floated off of his face and all he could see above him was pure darkness and the occasional air bubble.

He shook his wrists, kicking his legs, trying to swim back up to the surface. The harder he tried, the faster he sunk and the darker it seemed to grow around him. He choked and trembled, his rapid heartbeat and rushing blood flow added to his growing terror.

Am I going to die now…no…I can't…I can't…I've got a promise to keep…a promise I said…I'd keep…I can't…I can't…I can't-

XXX

"Alright, I guess it's time for me to go down there and get 'im," Kiba Inuzuka said as he removed the appropriate clothing.

Shikamaru Nara sighed, staring into the depths of the water, "Man, he's going to be pissed at us; might even rat us out to the headmistress…how troublesome." Chouji Akimichi shrugged as he munched on an apple, "We've done this to every newbie in our dorm, we even went through it. You get over it in about a few days."

Kiba had dived into the lake and disappeared underneath a few waves.

Shikamaru looked at Chouji, "And since when did you start eating anything even remotely healthy?" The big boned teenager huffed, "For your information, I'm on a diet," he stated proudly, tilting his head upward. "…That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. And pigs are flying out of my ass as well…"

The surface of the lake moved and waves were created as Kiba's head came above water, holding the blond close to him as he swam to shore.

"…You guys…I don't think he's breathing," Kiba stated as he removed the gag as well as unlocked the handcuffs. The blond's skin was pale and his body the temperature of ice. Quickly, Shikamaru pressed both hands on his chest and began to repeatedly press down on it.

"Do you think we left him down there for too long?" Choji asked with worry as he started to pace around in circles, "We can't be murderers, no one's ever died from this before!" Kiba grabbed the front of the chubbier teen's shirt, "Will you shut up? He's not fucking dead alright?! We just have to keep calm about this…act cool."

"Damn it…breathe," Shikamaru murmured, pinching their victim's nose closed before giving him mouth to mouth. He'd rather fake kiss a guy than get charged with murder. Going to jail would be such a drag on his part. He pulled away as the blonde started making deep, heaving sounds; coughing as he turned to his side and water mixed with saliva gushed out of his lips.

"…He's going to be fine," Shikamaru announced wiping his mouth in distaste, "…There goes my kissing virginity," he mumbled sarcastically.

XXX

Naruto's eyes fluttered open as sound and color returned to him. Fat droplets of water clung to his hair and rolled down his body in rivulets; a towel was placed over his head.

"You almost had us scared there for a second, welcome back to the surface buddy," One of the three said, reaching a hand out.

Naruto stood up and before the guy could see it, punched him straight in the face. Warm droplets of blood covered his fist as he shook violently, "…You…you…you motherfucking bastards! You thought that stunt you pulled was funny? I almost DIED because of you! If almost DYING is a joke to you, then you shitheads need more damn help than I thought!" His face grew warm as he looked down.

"I hope you bastards had your fun," he ended lowly before running off. All he wanted now was to just go back to his room and be greeted with deep slumber. He would deal with those people more thoroughly when he wasn't feeling so much like shit.

Not like this feeling is anything new to me…

XXX

Somewhere far away, but not quite, somewhere parallel to this world, but not quite, somewhere hidden, but not quite, was a curtain. A vividly decorated piece of cloth integrated with colors of deep emerald, electrifying blue, royal purple, every color imaginable (even a few undiscovered, such as plunka),it was sewn together and brought into existence by The Dark Artist.

This piece of cloth was translucentand behind it was where two shadow people lived, known as The Shadow Boys. The two dark figures took human form; they spoke with human voices, and conveyed human affairs with biting wit and refreshing spunk. The two shadow people had knowledge on everything, everyplace, and more importantly, everyone.

OOO

The audience settled in their seats as the play began. Their eyes were first greeted by the shadow of a young man behind the great curtain.

"I am Ka-Kun." He bowed as another male silhouette joined him, "And I am Ge-Kun, welcome to our grand show! Get ready to chortle, to sob, to be revolted and bewildered."

A final click was heard as the audience looked toward the doors. They were welded shut. They were locked inside with no means of escape.

Ge-Kun began to twirl around and around until he was face to face with Ka-Kun, "Did you hear? Have you seen? Have you, have you, have you…?"

"Have I what?"

Ge-Kun whispered, "Naruto Uzumaki has arrived." He began to move his shadow fingers with grace, as long and as thin as a spider's leg, "Poor Naruto. Do you know what happened to his entire family? Do you know what happened to his parents? Do you; do you, Ka-Kun?"

The other shadow opened his fingers as the dark figure of a moth fluttered out, "Poor Naruto Uzumaki…he is like an insect, a fragile little insect…oblivious to…"

Ge-Kun laughed and took Ka-Kun's hand into his own, suddenly donning on a dress, "Will you dance with me, me, me, meeeeeeeeeeee?" Ge-Kun's voice broke someone's glasses in the audience. "Ah, perhaps my opera voice was a tad bit too high?" Soft music flowed through the theater as the two outlines waltzed around.

"Moths are such foolish insects…they allow themselves to be seduced and manipulated, all for a fix of that precious light," Ka-Kun said. The shadow moth flittered around both of their heads, going higher and higher, closer and closer to the lamp Ge-Kun had just turned on. Ka-Kun leaned against a wall and continued, "The foolish moth takes in more than it can ever handle, falls too deep into the waters of unquenchable desire…and then…"

"Extra, extra, read all about it!!!" A newspaper was thrown and landed at their feet. A sharp buzz noise was heard. The moth squeaked pathetically and fell. "…The moth dies," Ge-Kun ended.

Ka-Kun picked up the paper, "Oh my, oh my, my…look at this headline! It reads, 'A Certain Previously Expelled Raven Haired Greek God is Returning.'"

"Hmm. I wonder who that could be? Do you know, do you know, do you know?" Ge-Kun was dressed a newspaper boy from the twenties, "Extra, extra, read all about it! Oh, and you owe me a nickel for the paper, Mister!"

"It can be none other than…" the other responded, but his voice was cut off by clapping from the audience. A person in the front row had purposely started it.

XXX

Oh fuck…

Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, and Hinata Hyuuga all froze as they were faced with the Belleville Dorm Room Advisor, Kakashi Hatake. He was an unpredictable one, known among the students for sometimes letting things slide and other times dishing out the proper punishment. Who knew what this masked stranger was contemplating doing with them now?

"You're a new group of girls…never seen you three sneak into this dorm before. You are aware that it's past ten, which means that you're supposed to be in your own rooms, getting a good night's rest for another day of classes tomorrow, right?" Kakashi drawled, leaning against a wall while reading his (porn) book. It was at times like this that Sakura that she wasn't so boyish and could use her feminine wiles to get her way, like the vixens in the movies do. She had to resort to more unorthodox ways…

"You know why we're here; you have no choice but to let us see Sasuke Uchiha," the bright pink haired tomboy stated bluntly as she poked at Kakashi's chest, "You know as well as I do that you're only standing here because you're waiting to see Sasuke too! You want to know what's going on as much as we do! After all, it's been only three months since he was expelled and magically, the strict as hell, bitchy headmistress lets him back in? C'mon Kakashi, don't leave us hanging like that…!"

Ino nodded enthusiastically, "We'll just say hello to Sasuke when he arrives and then go back to our dorms and…ah, study really, really hard! So…please?"

At this point, Hinata coughed lightly and pointed out, "I don't really care for Sasuke, I just need to give my cousin an important message."

"Yeah! Hinata has to see Neji for family things! Therefore, you cannot be so cruel and cold hearted as to not let us see Sasuke…and Hinata's cousin," Sakura finished off lamely, as Sasuke Uchiha casually walked passed the four of them, his baggage being carried by someone else.

"SASUKE!" Ino shouted out as she ran over next to him, flipping her blonde hair out of the way and smiling prettily. Sakura joined his other side, stopping the Uchiha in the middle of the hallway. Hinata had been long gone and Kakashi shook his head, "So it is true; Tsunade did let him back in. Interesting."

He then proceeded to head off to bed where Iruka Umino from the Rossford Dorm lay, waiting.

XoXoXo

"I'm so thirsty," Sasuke said announced. His tongue slipped out and glided along the surface of his lips, wetting them and making them gleam in the hallway light of the building. He moved a little closer to her, the knuckles of his hand brushing along the small of her back in a feather light caress, "Can you get me a drink, Yamanaka?"

Ino felt her heart slam into her ribcage as she blushed, "Yeah, yeah, I'll be right back, just wait for me Sasuke…and you'd better not try anything, forehead girl." She turned around and started to run down the opposite end of the hall, ponytail bouncing with each foot fall. The two remaining began walking again.

Sasuke snorted and Sakura gave him a bitter smile, "Still a bastard I see." Dark eyes scanned her up and down before replying, "And now you're a dyke, I see. Did I hurt you so badly that you decided to change gender preference?"

Sakura laughed, fluffing the back of her hair, "Long hair was bothersome…and girl clothes were getting too slutty for my tastes. I've grown up and realized that you're nothing special. Others will soon say the same."

The corner of Sasuke's lips twitched up into a smirk. Sakura sighed and looked away, "So how did you do it, how did you get back in? Did you fuck the headmistress or something?"

"Or something. As if I'd tell you." Sasuke stopped in his tracks, "…You're still as annoying as ever, Haruno."

He pulled out the keys to what would be is room. Sakura noticed that it was his old one, the one he shared with Neji Hyuuga. Sasuke directed the person carrying his belonging of where to place them.

"I don't care what you do or think Sasuke, just stay the hell away from my friends and go fuck with the bimbos you're better suited for. Or else I swear I'll kick your…"

The door opened by itself. Hinata stepped out, a slight smile decorating her face, "We should be on our way now, Sakura, or we could get in trouble; goodnight Sasuke." She bowed her head before walking off. Sakura stared after her friend; Hinata can be so strange sometimes…

A door slamming shut brought her back out of her thoughts. She shook her head, Not like this kind of shit is anything new for me…or unexpected of Sasuke. Let me find Ino so we can get the hell out of here...I'm not through with this guy just yet…

XoXoXo

Naruto rummaged through his things, looking for a dry shirt to wear. He sighed in triumph as he found the perfect one, his favorite bright orange T-shirt. The blonde slipped it over his head and flattened it down his body before running a hand through his still moist hair. Those damned assholes, I'll get them good, just they wait…!

"Are you my new roommate?" whispered a hot voice in his ear. Naruto screamed as he turned around, ready to attack the person if need be. Who knew what kind of psycho his supposed 'roommate' could be?

"Why the hell are you sneaking up on me like that? When did you get in here?!"

The dark haired teenager jabbed a thumb toward the open window near his the bed, "Through there. Now answer my question; are you my new roommate?"

"Yeah I am…and are you planning to do something, because I'm prepared now to take anyone on y'know…!"

"Ah. That's good to know," the other replied, nodding his head slowly. He then stuck out his hand and smiled, "My name is Sai." He squinted his eyes and looked closely at Naruto, to the point where the blonde felt uncomfortable.

"What are you staring at, you freak?"

"Your crotch. It looks like you have no penis whatsoever."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

XXX End Act XXX

Bonus Act One: Rain

XXX

Resigned blue eye stared vacantly at the traffic that whizzed by on the busy city streets. When the rain first began, seven year old Naruto did not notice. He did not notice until the wetness had soaked his entire being and numbed his flesh.

"You're a stupid, worthless CHILD! Not even a child…it's obvious you're below being human…yes, you're just a vicious little animal, dirty…rancid…get OUT, get OUT RIGHT NOW!"

"…Not human…" His lips moved but no sound came out. It's cold. It's cold out here tonight.

He lifted his head up to the sky and allowed himself to be burned by the rain. In school, he remembered how his teacher had once told him that acid rain from pollution was destroying forests. Maybe if he stayed out in the storm long enough, he would be devoured by the acid too.

Rotten to the core.

The nice thing about rain was that no one could tell the difference between raindrops and tears.

XX END BONUS ACT XX

Zana:That's all for now, I hope it wasn't too bad…

Naruto: What's up with the random shadow things?

Sasuke: They took up some of my screen time…that is UNFORGIVABLE!

Zana: You destroyed my home…that's unforgivable as well. Anyway, the authoress would just LOVE it if everyone who takes a gander at this fic REVIEWS! Because I WILL hunt you down if you add me to a story alert list/author alert list without reviewing. R&R is the way to go! Constructive Crit will be praised, and flames will be laughed at. Until next time!

Ja ne!