Location: Ouran High School, Class 1-A
"What an exchange student?" gasps the entire class at once. Only Haruhi, and the chairman, seem to not be shocked.
"One you might call a commoner," says Haruhi. "From America."
"Haruhi-kun! How'd you know?"
"She's staying at my house."
"But... Haruhi-kun, you're a boy!"
"And she's sleeping in her own room," Haruhi says, exasperated.
"But what if she--?"
"She's also Mormon," Hikaru and Kaoru say, stealing the chairman's papers and shuffling through them. "That won't be a problem."
"But why couldn't she stay with one of the girls?" asked Kuragano-san worriedly.
"Because the exchange student is a commoner-" says Hikaru,
"-- She wouldn't be comfortable in one of our houses" Kaoru finishes.
The girls all seemed to accept this and started chatting, wondering what this person was like.
high power motor
"Oh ho ho ho ho!"
The Moving Platform of Doom rising, bringing one Hoshakugi Renge up with it. She's wearing her school uniform, because cosplay is for club hours only, but on her head are two suspiciously Sailor-Moon-Esque buns.
"The exchange student is from America!" says Renge dramatically. "So, she will be full of razor-sharp comebacks, understand? She will also be very rude in a cool way, like Billy from Alice Nineteenth!"
"Umm, Renge? The student is Mormon. She's not going to go around flipping people off like Billy," says the Superintendent, shuffling through the papers.
"Hmm... in that case, expect someone like Osaka from Azumanga Daioh!"
Haruhi sweatdrops. "I don't know who that is, but she's probably not like him or her either..."
"Chairman! What is the name of the Foreign Exchange student?" Kuragano-san asks politely.
The Chairman blushes. "Archer Shashuko."
"So... Archer-san? Wonder what her parents were thinking," says one girl.
"No, Archer is her last name," the Chairman explains.
"Then why'd you put it first? Americans put it the other way around!" retorts another girl.
"Yes, but WE don't," Haruhi says. "We're Japanese."
The bell rings.
"Class dismissed," says the teacher.
Location: Ouran High School, Music Room 3
"Haruhi? Is it true?"
"Is what true, Tamaki-sempai?"
"Did you take a foreign exchange student without Daddy's permission? Oh, Haruhi, you're such a rebellious daughter!"
"It's true. Archer Shashuko-san."
"A GIRL? Won't that give you away?"
"Tamaki, they didn't seem to care in Homeroom. I don't think anyone else would care," Haruhi says, clearly annoyed.
"What will she do while you're in host Club?" Hunny asks. "Since the whole school knows she's a girl, she can't really be a host..."
"And since she's a commoner, she won't be able to afford to sit with any of us," Kyouya notes.
"I know!" says Tamaki. "We'll have her work as a hostess! ... And... Haruhi, too!"
"No," says Haruhi. "It took too long to figure out being a host."
"Besides, who'd sit with Haruhi?" the twins ask tamaki, wearing identically evil smiles.
"I would!" Tamaki points out.
"Because only perverts go to hostess bars," the twins taunt.
"Pervert..." says Haruhi. glaring at Tamaki.
"When's she coming?" Hunny questions curiously.
"Tomorrow."
Tamaki falls over.
Location: America, Archer Family Residence
"Shashuko! Are you all packed?" yells a blonde woman in her late forties.
"Hai, Okaasama! I've got everything I'll need!" the answerer is a blonde girl of the Freshman age.
"Did you pack your toothbrush?"
"Dangit!"