Ravishing Summary
Pairings: Not telling. xD That'd ruin the fun.
Warning: Don't read if you're sensitive to any sort of sexual plot devices … this is all for humor, but if you're going to get offended, please don't read. Oh, and major OOC-ness.
This was just a little plot idea that came into my head when I was musing pairings for my current project, and well, I couldn't resist. xD I am not mentally disturbed, though it might seem that way after reading this …
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"I promise, you won't regret it," she smirked, her hair caught in a messy knot atop her head. Who ever knew that Hermione Granger could sound so seductive? Her voice was one husky octave lower than normal, and her eyelashes seemed to flutter sultrily of their own accord as she attempted to cajole the man before her into following her. Of course, he had no idea what she was planning, but at the moment, she didn't care. She would deal with his sure tantrum later.
He pouted, not noticing Hermione's smug expression as he succumbed to her flirtations. "This isn't fair," he said, his heart not really in his defense. Of course he would want to follow her. If he interpreted her words correctly, she wanted to shag him. What sensible, testosterone-induced teenage male wouldn't want to follow their beautiful, female best friend when a shag was almost completely guaranteed?
"Yes, well, it isn't fair of you to deny me what I want," she countered lamely, but as her ever-persuading tone of voice was in use, it didn't matter how senseless the words she spoke were. A large smile appeared between her rosy lips, and she watched triumphantly as his eyes fixated on them. A calloused hand ran wearily through his black hair, and she knew she was close to getting his cooperation.
"Where, exactly, do you intend to take me?" he asked, amazing Hermione with his capability of coherent speech. "You're not going to lock me up in a broom cupboard and ravish me senselessly before Charms, are you?" And, as an afterthought, "Actually, I would hardly mind if that was your clever plan."
She grinned lightly, rolling her eyes at his antics. She had to pause for a moment and remember why she was going through all of this trouble. When, a second later, she remembered, she almost laughed at what his reaction was going to be."Something like that," she admitted, laughing at his gobsmacked expression. She knew he hadn't expected such an answer, but he didn't know that the cupboard part was the only accurate part. She had no intention to ravish him, or her other unmentioned guest, but if it could be used to lure him into cooperation, then she would lie to him right through her teeth.Tugging on his hand with a copious grin, she turned back to face him before dragging him out of the portrait hole.
"Come on, James, we've got to hurry if we're going to make it to Charms within the hour."
And as she lugged him through the hallways, leading him down to the broom cupboard in the Entrance Hall, she couldn't hide her victorious grin as she remembered a similar encounter that had occurred only moments before she confronted James.
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His suspicious eyes narrowed on her face, as she seemed to have difficulty masking her intentions. She, after all, was never a Slytherin, but he was the expert of apathy. While she was his best – and only – friend to date, that didn't mean he wasn't apprehensive about the many schemes she had accumulated over the years. It was unfortunate that she was so brilliant and studious, as well as playful and mischievous. So far, she hadn't betrayed her trust to him, but that didn't mean that he was going to readily accept accompanying her to a broom cupboard.
"Why, may I ask, are we going to an abandoned broom cupboard in the middle of a school day?" he asked, his tone as snarky as he could muster. He was frustrated because he knew that she saw right through him.
"Don't you trust me?" she countered, attacking him with beautiful, amber-coated puppy-dog eyes. If he had been a Gryffindor, he might have just fallen victim to her coaxing. He was not to be agreeable yet, however, and her tactical question had no effect on him.
"This isn't a matter of trust, Hermione. After all, if you trusted me, you would be willing to tell me why you want to go down there." She chewed on her bottom lip, seeing the sense in his statement, and not liking it. She knew that persuading him wouldn't be easy, that tactics such as guilt and seduction would be fruitless on him. So, being his only friend, she had meanly (but not guiltlessly) used the trust approach.
"Well, you should at least trust me enough to know that if you don't go down there with me, I'll hex you into the year 2024!" Threats were always fun.
His cheeks flamed in indignation at her words, but he knew that she would not hesitate in cursing him. This must have been pretty important for her to resort to threats. He sighed resignedly, knowing that any further argument would just cause her to use her wand.He was silent but fuming as he followed her out of the library, shrinking as far away from her as he could without actually falling behind. He wasn't very happy with his best friend.
When they reached the designated broom cupboard, Hermione shoved him inside before following herself. He sputtered in surprise, before turning immediately to face her. Did she intend to shag him? His eyes grew wide at the thought.
"Severus," she said, and his eyes narrowed at the seductive tone of her voice. "I am going to go somewhere, and I will be back within ten minutes, alright?"
He opened his mouth to say that it was, in fact, not alright, but before he could, she had leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips, physically telling him that there was no room for argument. He had never been kissed this way before, but he relished in the feeling. Who knew that his best friend, Hermione Granger, was a seductress and a wicked good kisser and –
Suddenly his lips were cold, and he saw that she had broken apart. Scowling at her, he folded his arms across his chest as he took in her laughing expression. Was she mocking him?
"I swear I'll be back, Sev," she promised, and he forced himself to believe her. As the door closed, he quickly ran toward it, turning the knob only to find that it wouldn't budge. That minx. She had cast anti-escape wards. In both anger and arousal, he sat down, slumped against the wall while he waited for Hermione to return.
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Hermione couldn't believe what she was planning to do. She had succeeding in seducing Hogwarts' most desired wizard and Hogwarts' least desired wizard, otherwise known as her two best friends. It was a tactic she was both ashamed and proud of, but she knew it was necessary in order to accomplish what she planned to do. She wanted to end the enmity between James Potter and Severus Snape, and she wouldn't let either of them leave that broom cupboard until it happened.
Still tugging on the hand of her fellow Gryffindor, she unlocked the cupboard and threw him inside, before closing and locking the door, and adding a Silencing Charm, just in case. Turning to face the two men, she easily spotted the look of hatred on Severus's face, and the look of revulsion on James's.
Before either of them could say a word, she pressed a kiss onto Severus's thin lips, cupping his face in her hands and pressing against him to try and trigger his arousal. It worked, and she felt his wand grind against her. Before James had a chance to vomit, she broke apart from Severus and turned to James before either of them could marvel at what she had just done.
However, her previous action was lost on all three of them as she captured James's lips immediately after leaving Severus's. Both men were too bewildered to do anything other than stand there, curious and shocked, as Hermione proceeded to caress James's chest with lustful hands.After she pulled apart, she looked at the two of them, almost laughing at the looks of confusion on their faces. "What the fuck?" was the first thing she heard, emitting from James's crude mouth.
"I have made it my personal duty to end the enmity between my two best friends," Hermione explained as though she were talking to four year olds. James and Severus glanced between her and then looked at each other. Realizing that they had shared a glance of something other than disgust, they quickly turned back to her angrily, seemingly remembering emotions other than shock.Hermione laughed somewhat nervously. "See, you're agreeing already!" Nevermind that they're agreeing on jinxing me, of course.
Her desperate statement didn't seem to have an effect on either of them, and she realized what she had to do. Sighing, she pointed her wand at Severus, watching as ropes bound him to the wall behind him. James looked gleeful, and hastily she spoke."If you touch Severus with the intention of hurting him, I'll bind you too," she warned quite seriously. Her next statement, however, made her serious tone drop dead. "If, however, you want to lay you lovely calloused hands all over his waiting body, I'd be quite happy to join."
Severus flushed at her implication, and James looked disgusted. "I thought you were going to ravish me!" he declared, glaring at Hermione.
Severus started. "I thought she was going to ravish me!" he retorted, and too directed his angry gaze on her.
She smiled sheepishly. "How about we all ravish each other, eh?" she asked, giggling a bit as she cast another spell to remove all of the clothing in the room. Gasps were heard in the room as both Severus and James, who had been glaring at their female companion, took in the sight of her nudity.
"Now then," she said bossily, "would you please cooperate?"
She released Severus's bonds, and as he was freed he seemed to remember how angry he was for tying him up. Simultaneously, James realized how upset he was for being lured here under the promise of a shag before Charms. The two men exchanged a glance, and with a mutual nod, Hermione realized that this was turning against her by the second.
Severus, taking the initiative, looked at the naked Quidditch player in front of him. "Potter," he said, "shall we teach dear Hermione a lesson for trying to manipulate a Slytherin?"
James grinned at Severus, forgetting for the moment that they were sworn enemies and said, "Only if we can teach her another lesson – not to mess with Hogwarts' most desired Gryffindor."
And as the two exchanged mischievous grins with each other, Hermione shrunk against the wall behind her, caught somewhere in between arousal and fear as the two naked men – and they sure were men – approached her with nothing short of triumph on their faces.
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Lunch the next day would forever be remembered in Hogwarts history, for it was the day when James Potter, Hermione Granger, and Severus Snape were caught in a tangle of limbs as they ravished each other shamelessly in the Entrance Hall broom cupboard.
Erm, yeah. Not really as good as I had hoped, but who cares .. I just wanted to get this idea in writing. Please ignore the utter crappiness and the slightly disturbing mental pictures. xD Review? (: