Sousuke's Intent

This is TiamatV's Secondary Intent as told from Sousuke's point of view. I really enjoyed this story as told from Kaname's point of view. I don't have any experience with a woman's point of view, but I do have a lot with a man's, and I can understand Sousuke rather well. I thought it might be fun to see the events through his eyes.

As always, I own none of this, but I like taking the characters out to play.

He, Sousuke, hesitated in front of the door. Spectre, now Kaname's long-time security detail chief, and, from frequent contact, Sousuke's good friend, had assured him she was home. In fact, she'd informed him that, since he was now on the job, she was going to take the rest of the afternoon off, in spite of his protests that he probably wouldn't be staying long. As easy as this should be, he found it easier to assault a heavily fortified enemy base than to face this young woman. He took a deep breath and knocked.

After a short wait, the door opened. You almost growl at her. After all the effort spent to protect her, she doesn't even bother to check who's at the door. Does she care that little for what's been done for her? You immediately share your displeasure. "Chidori. You did not check to see who was at the door."

To you, it seems as if she handles your abrupt reappearance in her life well enough. "Nice to see you, too, Sousuke," she says. It seems her tongue hasn't lost its edge, either. You wait and watch.

It's been about four years now, and they look very good on her. The only really obvious change is her hair, which now only lies about 10cm down her back and is bound up in a pony tail. You figure it must be a concession for her job. Beyond that she just looks, well, more mature. You like it---a lot.

She finally speaks again. "You might as well come in," she says. "It's hot outside, and you're wasting the air-conditioning. Electricity's expensive, you know." You can't yet tell whether she wants you there or not. She opens the door and lets you in.

You take note as she walks the door open instead of just standing there as she does so. Wordlessly, your approval touches your eyes. It also confirms that she chose not to check the door before opening it earlier. It would seem she still retains her spirit. Somehow, that dulls your distaste for that action somewhat. After all, if she lost her spirit, she wouldn't be the woman you came to see.

"I will not bother you for long," you say as you enter. You hope it will put her at ease, but you want her to convince you otherwise. You put up token resistance as she 'convinces' you to remove your boots and to accept some welcome iced tea. You have an image and a reputation as a man to uphold, and it just wouldn't do to give in too easily. There was never any doubt in your mind, though, that you'd do any even somewhat reasonable thing she asked.

You drink part of the tea and prepare yourself. You do need to go through with why you came, and you hope… Actually, you're not sure what to hope for. You look up. "The Captain sends her regards. And the crew of the Danaan… they say congratulations on your graduation."

She pauses before she answers. "Thank you," she says in what sounds like her professional voice. "Are you staying in Tokyo long?"

The first part you were expecting. Actually, while stalling for some time before drumming up the courage to knock on her door, you had thought of the question, and you don't like the answer you decided on. Still, you don't have the courage to deal with anything else. Well, at least right now you don't. You look down at your glass as you answer; anything more is just too difficult. "No. I fly out tonight. Arbalest sustained extensive damage in the last mission, and until it is fixed, Mithril is assigning me to the new base." Technically, the answer is true. In fact, Sgt. Major Mao, who knew why you were in Tokyo, had asked if you wanted a few days off since you didn't have anything important to do, anyway.

You hear…nothing. You look up carefully, and Chidori appears more than a little disappointed. It seems like you'll need a little more to smooth things over. "Tokyo was on the way. It is just… coincidence," you say. Even to you it sounds pathetic, and, fortunately, she notices right away. You most certainly did not need a depressed Chidori on your hands at the moment, and she seems to brighten a little.

"Coincidence. Of course. Well, if the base is as nice as Melida, that'll be good. At least you'll get to stay in one place for awhile," she says, trying to cover a smile.

You relax for the moment. As you finish your drink, you notice her arm. It's been four years since the injury, yet she still seems to be favouring it.

"Sousuke? Do you want another drink?" she offers, smiling.

"No. You are favouring your left arm," you note. "Is something wrong?"

She immediately turns sober. You wait. In a moment, she slowly extends the arm, resting the elbow on the table. She looks, well, vulnerable. Carefully, you reach out to feel it, drawing back as she reacts. You're immediately upset: she was supposed to get better care than this! "It should not still pain you after the surgery." He frowns. "You should have contacted us. Mithril has several medical specialists on retainer—"

"It's a scar, Sousuke," she snaps, yanking her arm back to her side. "It's a freaking big scar. God! How blind are you, anyway?"

Now you really are getting upset. Why is she so touchy about something that should be healed by now? She must not have understood what you were trying to say the first time. Your expression hardens, and you try again. "I am aware that it is a scar. Regardless, it should not hurt. I was told that you would have the best follow-up care at Tokyo Central, but…"

She seems to back down and try another, quieter approach. You begin to think that you just didn't understand what she was saying. "No, Sousuke. It healed just fine. I just… I just don't like having any scars, that's all."

You blink for a moment, a little puzzled. That's all she's worried about? "Everyone has scars, Chidori," you reply. "They are simply a part of life."

You get the feeling that, if she wasn't so serious at the moment, she'd have rolled her eyes. "That's what I'm trying to say, Sousuke. Not everyone has scars. Maybe in your… in your line of work, they do. Of course you have scars. You've almost been killed more times than I can count."

As serious as she sounds, it almost lightens the mood for you. Besides, her last statement is silly. You respond in kind. "I doubt that. I'm certain you can count fairly high."

For whatever reason, that really does get to her, and she nearly loses her rather short temper. "That's what I mean," She says, shaking her head. "I didn't… I didn't ask for… for all this. Not the way you do. You know?"

You finally start to understand what she's upset about. You turn to give her a good look at the scar on your face. For some reason, she looks disturbed as you do so. You press on, using your thumb to highlight the crossed lines on your chin. "I was eleven when a man and his brothers held me down and cut me with his belt-knife," you start. "Two cuts, for my two eyes. He thought I was looking at his daughter. People do not ask for scars, Chidori. Knife cuts… they don't scar, though. Not normally. Not if the knife is sharp, and the cuts are shallow…" By now, you can barely see her rubbing her arm, as if in sympathy; her attitude has totally changed. You finish evenly. "They do if gravel is rubbed into them, and you do not have clean water, or bandages."

She's quiet for a moment, just rubbing her arm. She sounds pained as she answers. "Oh, Sousuke. I'm sorry."

You shrug and move on. Those scars are about the past, anyway. "It was many years ago." You cock your head and give her a questioning look. "What is wrong with scars? Kurz says that women find them… attractive."

Her expression clouds and you feel as if the room got a few degrees colder. "Men don't," is all she says.

You sense her anger isn't directed at you, though. So, you just give your opinion. "I do not see why women would find them attractive, either. Kurz says many things about women that I do not understand."

For some reason, this seems to cause a break in her clouds, and she begins to smile. "That's 'cause you're fun to tease. How is he? Is he still perverted?"

That certainly wasn't what you were expecting, but it's easy to handle. "I do not think that Mao would allow it," you say in your soldier's voice. "She once gave him a very, um, explicit description of what she would do to him if she ever found him cheating." You pause to think. Mao says things you don't quite understand, either. "I do not think it was anatomically possible, though."

She screeches, and you bang your knee, quite painfully, you note later, against her table as you stand, spin, and ready your weapon to deal with…nothing. All you note is Chidori laughing at you. She quickly reclaims control of the situation. "Sit down, Sousuke. I was just surprised, that's all. Melissa and Kurz… well!" You rather melt back onto your cushion, feeling a little silly. Already you know you should have been able to tell she wasn't startled out of fear. She continues. "You don't like that they're dating? I think it's great—and kind of sweet."

Like the grunt you are, you give a stock answer when faced with such a question: "It is none of my business."

She clearly is having none of that answer, and rolls her eyes more than a little dramatically. "I asked you what you thought, doofus."

You don't like to really answer the question, but you decide that, at least this time, it's harmless enough. "She is his commanding officer. It is very unprofessional. In addition, it makes sharing quarters during missions… very difficult." Difficult seems like an appropriately neutral word.

Chidori seems to find great humor in your statement, and starts laughing uncontrollably. You don't see what was so funny. You can't think of anything more useful, so you just say, "Chidori?"

In a moment, she recovers from her fit of laughter. She ponders very briefly before saying, "Keep a spritz bottle of cold water around? That's what folk do when cats get out of hand…"

"Hmmm." You stop to ponder, tapping your finger on the table as you think. She can be usefully devious at times. You nod and answer. "I had considered a stun grenade, but it seemed inadvisable against my commanding officer. I will take that under consideration. Thank you, Chidori."

You don't want to talk about such things any more, so you focus on her arm again. "But that is not important. What is wrong with your arm, if it does not hurt?" You glance at her again and can see she's going to need a little coaxing. "Here. Let me see."

You watch as she slow extends her arm onto the table. At that moment, she looks scared and vulnerable. Then, almost violently, she clenches her fist as she finally spits out what truly bothers her. It sounds as if she barely has the courage to say it. "It's just… it's knowing that the bastard who gave this to me could still be alive, and out there…"

You take your time as you move your hand out to examine the scar. You'd much rather do this with her wrapped in your arms so you could make her feel safe, but, as it's not what she needs at the moment, you content yourself with feeling it as you are. You finally realize that it wasn't the flesh that needed healing, but her heart, her spirit. She saved yours one morning years ago in Hong Kong. Now, perhaps, you could begin to return the favor.

You take your time, slowly, gently moving your fingers down her arm and scar. It had taken four years, but you finally put an end to the man who'd done this to her. You hadn't done so for revenge, but fear: the fear of what he would do if he wasn't stopped---permanently.

As the operations commander of Amalgam's Asian theatre, the man had been tough, smart, deeply dug in, and not one to lead by example. In the end, you'd had to abandon a badly damaged Arbalest so you could assault the innermost regions of the former British, then American, and, now, also former Amalgam naval base. It had been dicey at best, and, when you finally found the man, you had simply terminated him with extreme prejudice. You'd pumped three rounds into his chest and three more into his head, just to be sure. Then, in an effort to end the battle, you simply shoved corpse in front of a security camera and used the fallen commander's comm to simply state, "Your commander is dead. Surrender or die."

Later, you were amazed that it'd worked. You found the knife that had so shredded Chidori's arm on a belt opposite an old US .45 auto service pistol. You liberated those items, along with several clips of ammo. While the .45 wasn't your sidearm of choice, it made a nice, functional trophy. You blink and came back to the present, where your thumb now rests in the crook of her arm. "No. He's not."

It looks as if she wants to ask for details, but then thinks the better of it. Finally, she acts mildly upset and says, "Oh. Well, then. You could have told me, you know."

"That is why I am here," you want to reply. And it's true, too. You would have much rather it could have been much sooner, too. After all, you've missed her badly, and if he'd just been cooperative and died sooner, you would have come, whatever she thought. Instead, you hesitate.

In a moment, she continues. "You didn't need an excuse to come see me, you know."

Now, you're more than a little confused. Could it have been that she didn't really want you to leave in the first place, in spite all she'd said? "Chidori, you requested that I leave you be. I did so. I believed it to be against your best interests, but I acceded to it, on the condition that you agreed to a security detail." You conveniently leave out any mention of what your interests might have been, but that isn't the point right now. You also conveniently neglect to mention your demand for regular, direct contact with said security.

Chidori, the lawyer, is quick to respond. "And, you notice, no-one's hurt, maimed, kidnapped, or blown me up in the past four years. So either your security detail's done their job, or no-one's out to get me any longer. Besides, that still doesn't explain exactly what you're doing here, Sousuke."

Well, she always was one with a quick response. You don't want to have to fully answer why there have been no problems, so you change the subject. You look at her arm again, this time with a soldier's eye. "It was a bad injury, but it seems to have healed well. Grip my hand," you say with almost professional detachment, threading your fingers through hers, a place you'd like to find them regularly.

She does so, and you're more than a little impressed. Still, it wouldn't do to let her become too conceited about it. "Well, your grip is… passable."

She grunts in response, a little smug and, obviously, not completely believing your answer. Then, more quietly, she adds, "It's just so ugly."

You look at her, intent as usual. "Yes, but it did not break you. You are normal, Chidori." And that, for you, is the biggest reason you're here. Certainly she's beautiful, smart, strong, but it's her spirit that you love, and that hasn't been broken.

Later, you don't remember what you talked about after that. Then, when it comes time to leave, you turn and pull out her gift. The antique enameled box with gold and mother of pearl and matching bangle are for her. The phone number is for you. The knife---even you doubt she'll look at it---is for her heart, her spirit. You're really not quite sure why you decided to wrap it in plain paper as you did, but you hope she won't mind. You want to be bold, but, as usual around this woman, your courage deserts you. "This is… a graduation gift, from… from all of us." Pathetically, it's all you can choke out, and you barely handle that. She doesn't realize it, but she holds your heart in your hands.

She says nothing, and you turn to leave. Just as you're about ready to assume that you've failed, she pokes at your boot with her foot. "Hey. Sousuke. Don't wait four years to come see me again, you hear?"

You immediately whip your head around and look at her, surprised. An invitation to return! So, she hasn't rejected you after all. You decide it's as close to an apology for her rejection four years earlier as you'll get, so you let pass. In fact, it's better than you expected, and you don't know what to do with the success. Lamely, you say, "If you like, Chidori."

Moments later, as you round the corner of the building, you get a call. You glance at the number: Spectre. Figures. You really don't want to deal with her right now, but you decide to answer, anyway. Punching the button, "Sagara here," you growl.

"Hi, lover boy," the sentinel purrs. "I was just about ready to call the pilot and tell him you'd made other plans for the night. So, did it go as well as I assume it did?"

If anyone else had pulled this stunt right now, you wouldn't have taken it well. As it is, you're just rather put out that she's broken you out of your emotional high. "Is that all you called for?"

"Pretty much. So, how'd it go?"

You shoot a glare somewhere in her general direction; the woman can be persistent. You shrug mentally. You might as well throw her a bone, or she'll keep hounding you. Besides, she's one of you and Chidori's few mutual friends, and she really does want it to go well. "OK. She did invite me to come back at some unspecified future date."

She squeals, a little like Chidori had earlier. "Sweet! Make sure you let me know when you're coming, then. I know all her favorite places, and I'll make sure you have some killer reservations. Gotta go…" And, just as you're trying to figure out what happened, you get a call: Chidori. As always, you assume the worst.

"Sagara here. Chidori, what is wrong?"

"Did you leave me this number just for emergencies, Sousuke?" she asks. You've heard this voice before, and the results can be painful. Immediately, you start to sweat.

"Um," you stall. In truth, you want to talk to her---a lot, frequently, and regularly. You didn't figure she'd go for it, though, so you aren't ready for this. She wasn't supposed to call this soon, and Spectre had you distracted. "No?" you say tentatively.

"Then I just called to thank you for coming. And to say good night," she replies, pleasantly. "Good night, Sousuke!"

"…oh." You're stunned, as much as anything. By now, you know why Spectre was in such a hurry to get off the line. You also don't know what to say. Finally, you simply say, "Good night, Chidori." It had been a very good day, indeed.