Here's a very random story I though of after watching 'One of Our Own' So, enjoy…
Slight EDeN (Eric/Natalia)
Summary: Natalia reflects on what choices she made in her life.
My name is Natalia Boa Vista. I work at the Miami-Dade County Crime Lab. I came to the lab as the FBI mole. I also slept with Eric Delko.
I know what he thought. But, it wasn't that. I didn't sleep with him to get information. How low did he think I am? Sure, I guess you have to be pretty low to spy on everyone that you call your friends, but I did nothing but give them positive news on the lab. It's not like I spilled anything bad.
Sure, I guess I did know him for a year. I called myself his friend and at one point even his lover. But, really, would I have been so upset with him when he gave Ryan permission to ask me out if it was just for information. Nope. I absolutely would not.
I can be cold. I could have slept with him for information and then been just fine when he told Ryan that I was 'clear for landing,' but I didn't. I didn't even really have a good time with Ryan. Why? Well, because I was thinking about Eric.
So, can you tell me? Do you actually think I was sleeping with him for information? That still stings. Even now, a year later, after he forgave me and even he protected me from my abusive ex-husband, it still stings. Though, since he forgave me for what I have done, I should be about able to forgive. Right? I suppose. And, in reality, I have. But, that doesn't change the fact that it hurts that he thought of me like that.
Does that make me selfish? That I think of how bad his accusation hurt me, when what he found out about me probably hurt him just as bad. I feel selfish. I feel selfish and hurt. And, you know what, that makes me feel even more selfish. But, I suppose both of these are things that I must live with now. When I was little people would always say 'you chose your own fate, so you must live with it.' I also ways hated it. I hate it even more now. Because, now I have to live with the punishments of what I did.
Though, I suppose, if I hadn't done the whole mole thing, I would be here right now. I wouldn't be a CSI. I wouldn't have met these peoples I have. I wouldn't have met Eric. So, I suppose, that in making my life five times harder, I found the life I always wanted. I found Eric. Now let's see if I can fix what I have done. It's time to re-do my fate.
Yeah, it's pretty random… Started out going to be a small little random something… And then, well, I just don't know. Lol. Tell me what you think.