Two weeks had gone by since he'd returned from the hospital. He had longed to be home every single day at the hospital, when he had lain awake in the hospital bed staring at the white ceiling, and hearing the depressing beep of his monitor. Every day felt like almost like a year, thus to him, it felt like a century since he had been home.

He loved sleeping in his own bed -that didn't have handles on the side, and was bigger than a single bed sized mattress like his hospital bed had been. He loved eating food that wasn't tasteless, like what the hospital provided. In fact, he had known the hospitals food schedule like the back of his hand. He loved waking up whenever he wanted, and not when he'd hear a nurse walk into his room early in the morning with breakfast. He knew they left it there for precisely an hour and a half before they would come back to collect the dishes. And many times he'd end up skipping breakfast just to sleep in a little later, which he'd end up regretting when lunch was some unmentionable product that they falsely claimed to be edible. He loved seeing his parents and brother around the clock, and not just during the visiting hours that the hospital would provide.

And lastly, he loved the distraction. He could watch TV, he could go on his computer, he could go out with his friends (even though he rarely did that, no matter how much they tried)… he wasn't stuck in a white room with nothing but his thoughts.

… his thoughts of her, his pain, his heartache… his anger.

He wasn't forced to think of her every hour of the day, now he was able to consciously push her out of his mind. Of course pushing her out of his sub conscious wasn't possible for him, and she haunted him in his dreams. Yet that ache in his chest was always present. He could feel her loss at all times, even if he didn't necessarily think of her.

Sometimes he'd angrily question himself as to what was really so special about her that he cared so much. He'd convince himself that she wasn't some princess or goddess, she was a common girl, and common girls were replaceable. There were many pretty girls out there.

But then he always knew that Lil was not a common girl to him, to him she was his princess; there were many pretty girls out there, but he could never find a heart like hers. He could never find a girl that made him willing to do anything to protect her from pain. He could never find a girl that could make his heart flutter and ache like it has never before.

And Tommy knew, he would never love another girl, it just wasn't possible for him.

Two weeks had gone by that they lived in houses right beside each other, and she never once came to see him, or rang, or even email him… nothing. Two weeks since he never tried to communicate with her either. But he knew in his heart that she wouldn't come see him, even in a month's time it would be the exact same.

He also knew there was a reason.

He wasn't stupid enough to think she did it to hurt him, or that she didn't care. Even though he spent a lot of time hating her, in the last two weeks he was finally honest with himself. He would be delusional to think that Lil did not care, his love wasn't that weak, and his faith in her wasn't that weak.

He just needed to know why.

Luckily for him, today would be the day he'd finally see her. It was Kimi birthday, and her parents were throwing a huge party for her in a hall they rented for the night. Tommy knew that no matter what, Lil would not be able to miss this event. They were best friends that grew up together, Kimi was dating Phil, and their parents were good friends as well. There was no way Lil would be able to get out of it… or at least he hoped. He had been looking forward to this night for a few days now, ever since he found out. This felt like his only hope to see her, and he would definitely not let it slip.

He needed to find out what was so big that Lil did what she did this last year. That she deserted him. What could have caused her to do that?

The party slowly neared and Tommy was dressed up and ready to go in his black dress pants and white dress shirt. He hadn't needed to dress up in so long, that this all felt very foreign to him. Dil had taken one look at him before deciding to grab his gel for Tommy's hair.

Tommy took a deep breath as he walked into the hall hoping and praying to lay eyes on Lil. They greeted Kimi's parents and Tommy went over to hug Kimi and shake hands with Chuckie.

He didn't bother to ask them about Lil, he would find her himself.

Half an hour went by, and Tommy felt like he was suffocating. As every minute passed, his hopes of seeing her seemed more and more impossible. Maybe she really wouldn't come.

But before he could be too disappointed he saw the Devilles walk in and sure enough behind her brother he saw the girl he longed for. But she looked very different from what he remembered of her. She was thinner, and looked very restless; she seemed even a tad paler. But oddly she still looked breathtaking to him.

He felt himself involuntary gulp, a huge knot forming in his throat. She looked up and he could tell that she had seen him too but before he could make eye contact, she had looked away. Very timidly she said her hellos but stayed far away from him. She stuck to her brother like glue. Almost scared to be alone or too close to Tommy.

He frowned; there was definitely something wrong here.

Without thinking he found himself walking up to the Devilles table, saying his hellos to the parents and bumping fists with Phil. His eyes trailed on her but she seemed to shrink into her seat further and her eyes remained on her clasped hands, which rested on her laps. The longer Tommy stood there, he could see her knuckles turn white and her face redden.

"Hey Lil," he heard himself whisper, almost painfully.

She nodded her head in response, without looking up.

Tommy shook his head as Phil shot him an apologetic smile, before walking back to his own table. As the night went on he watched Lil from the side of his eye, she did not move from her spot on the table all night.

Was he never going to get to talk to her at all tonight?

But finally he saw his opportunity when Phil was up on the dance floor dancing with Kimi, and Lil got up. He watched her make her way to the lady's room and without a second thought Tommy found himself following her.

He knew there was no way he'd be able to speak to her if he just waited outside the lady's room. She'd just get past him without a word. So Tommy had to take other measures to get time with Lil…

Lil stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, pleading herself not to cry. She didn't want to be here, Phil had convinced her to at least show face, in fact he made her feel guilty for refusing to go at first. She just waited for them to announce dinner, and then she could quietly sneak out, just as Phil promised her.

Seeing Tommy had been too much to bear, she almost broke down, and had he stood at her table a second longer earlier, she definitely wouldn't have been able to keep the tears away.

Lil took a deep breath, just a little longer Lil, then you'll be back safe in your room.

Lil took a step out, her eyes scanning the foyer to see if it was safe for her to make her way back to her table. She couldn't afford to run into Tommy, she didn't think she'd be able to deal with that.

Luckily the foyer was empty, so Lil quickly slipped out of the bathroom and tried to hurriedly walk towards the party hall but before she knew what was happening she felt a hand grip around her upper arm and before she could scream she felt herself being pulled into the dark coat closet and another hand sealed her mouth closed. Her back was pressed against the door to push it closed.

The hand left her mouth and she didn't even need the light to know who it was. She could recognize his touch, his smell… anywhere.

"Tommy," She whispered remorsefully.

He turned on the light to confirm her guess and his eyes stared into hers for the first time since that dreadful day more than a year ago… more than three hundred and sixty five days ago.

It felt like years before he spoke, her heart thumping almost unbearably in her chest with every second, "I need to know," He whispered.

Needed to know why she deserted him, need to know why she won't see him, need to know what happened… so much he needed to know.

Lil felt like she couldn't breathe, she needed to get out of there, she quickly turned to open the door but Tommy held it closed with a strong hand and his other hand grabbed her arm again firmly.

"Lil, you can't leave without telling me,"

"Stop it," She said between her teeth, praying to god that she could hold herself together.

"Lil, why have I not seen you this last year? I need to know why, damn it!"

"I need to get out of here," She almost pleaded, not turning around to face him, still struggling with the door handle, but with no luck. He didn't let it budge.

"Lil, please look at me," He demanded firmly, "Why are you being like this, I'm asking a pretty simple question, not to fucking invent a time machine here,"

Lil took a deep breath, biting her lower lip from trembling, trying to compose herself, "Tommy," She began, her voice shaky, "You can't force me to stay here,"

Tommy felt a pang in his chest as he stared at the back of her head, "Why can't you just turn around?"

Lil didn't say anything, she couldn't manage to say another word without him noticing how broken she was.

Tommy waited, and it felt like a decade for both of them, the silence cut into Tommy as sharp as a blade and it was taking its toll on him.

"Lil, please," He begged.

Lil clenched her fist tighter around the door handle, and tried to open it again and that's when Tommy lost it.

"What the FUCK," he cursed, slamming the door closed again before forcefully turning her to face him, "TELL ME LIL," He yelled, trapping her between the door and his frame.

A knock could be heard on the door, "Is everything okay in there, open the door!" They heard Phil's voice.

Tommy ignored it, locking the door behind her, both his hands planted on the wall on both sides of her completely entrapping her, "I'M DONE, I'm fucking done being the only one that doesn't know what the fuck is going on, and I want answers!"

"Tommy, stop it, let me out!" Lil whimpered, and Phil began pulling at the door handle.

"Tommy, open the fucking door," Phil demanded, "Let her out!"

"LIL, look me in the fucking eyes right now," He demanded angrily, causing Lil to look up. He could see the tears pooled in her eyes, and the pain… he couldn't handle it, he needed to know, he needed to take that pain away.

"LIL, if you have ever loved me like you claimed you did, please, please just tell me what is it that's kept you from me, what was it that left me watching my fucking door day after day this past year, hoping, and fucking pleading with god that you would walk through my door." He yelled, his eyes tearing up as well, "You've driven me fucking insane, I've wanted to see you, to talk to you, so much that it fucking hurt inside. There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought of you. If you're mad at me for what I did when I came back, if you don't want to see me again, if you are fucking disgusted with me for how I acted with you and treated you, I swear to god I would never hold that against you. But please, please Lil, either give me a chance to explain myself, or tell me to my face that you're completely done with me... But I feel like it's something else, I feel like it has to be something pretty fucking huge that you haven't even come to see me in the hospital, that every day that passes it gets harder and harder to fucking function." He growled hoarsely, a cm away from her left ear, "And I know Lil, this is exactly what I did to you, I left you wondering for three fucking years, and I know it completely destroyed you… no matter what my reasoning behind it was, I can never ever apologize enough, and I would understand if you never wanted to talk to me again, but Lil, please, just tell me."

Lil felt her whole body tremble with anguish, and she wanted nothing more than a whole in the ground to just swallow her up. The pain she heard in Tommy's voice was one of great anguish. She could still hear Phil knocking persistently and struggling with the door on the other side. But Tommy didn't move an inch, as if there was no one else in the world but him and Lil. And in that very moment, it was true. Slowly the gathering noise of the other side of door, where she knew more and more people had begun to gather, was drowned out from her senses. It was just her and the guy in front of her.

Tommy had her trapped against the door, and Lil knew there was no way she could leave without giving him his answers. No matter if they broke the door open on the other side, there was no way she could leave without giving him an answer. He had her completely paralyzed with his eyes. She was completely and utterly drained.

She couldn't hide this anymore.

Lil gulped trying to diminish the massive knot in her throat, before her hand slowly trailed to his, and her fingers closed around his hand. His eyes never left hers, as she slowly led his hand to her body and slid his hand up her blouse slowly to rest on the left side slightly above her waist, "This is why."

She could see the confusion in his eyes for a few seconds, before slowly they grew wider in fear. She could almost feel his heart beating loudly against his chest as his eyes lowered, and with his other hand he pulled up her shirt to see where his hand was resting.

He took a deep breath;

Please don't let it be what I think it is.

Before slowly letting his hand uncover her side and he saw it… he saw a scar.

And suddenly… it was like he had been hit by a speeding bus.

Moments went by, their bodies cm's away from each other, she could almost hear his heart thumping loudly against his chest, his face almost white as his hand fell from her body as if he had been burned. Her eyes stayed on his, almost fearful at his reaction. She could see his heart shatter through his pain stricken eyes.

"No," he managed to whisper between his teeth.

Before she could say anything he pulled her away from the door and opened it to reveal a crowd of her family and friends, all wearing the same huge eyes of worry, and Phil rushed forward towards his teary eyed sister, but Tommy ignored everyone as he pushed through the crowd. Dil tried to grab his arm to stop him but Tommy shrugged it off roughly, rushing out of the hall.

"We heard everything," Kimi said as she neared Lil, "Are you okay?"

Lil shook her head, "I need to go after him."

"No Lil-…" Phil began to protest but he knew she wouldn't listen and before he knew it she was rushing towards the door as well.

Phil began to follow her, "Lil, wait for me-…"

But Lil turned around quickly, "Phil no, I need to explain this to Tommy by myself, please keep everyone here, please," She insisted sternly, stopping Phil in his tracks.

Phil turned to their family and friends, including a very worried Didi and Betty, "They need to do this alone," he claimed strongly, even though he wanted nothing more than to follow his sister. He knew he had to respect her wish; she deserved to choose how to tell him.

"Tommy wait!" Lil yelled, as he was reaching for his car door, he stopped when he heard her voice but didn't say anything.

"Let me explain, Tommy,"

Tommy walked a few steps towards her, "Tell me Lil, tell why the fuck you would do this to yourself!"

Lil looked away from him but Tommy held her chin and forced her to look him in the eye, "TELL ME!"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Lil screamed finally, "I would do anything to protect you," Tears spilled from her eyes but she didn't bother wiping them away, she cupped his face in her hands trying to making him calm down.

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND LIL, don't you understand how many complications that can come from losing a kidney, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? Why do you think I disappeared on you, why do you think I never told you? I knew you would do anything to help me, to save me… I knew that. And I never ever wanted you to go this extreme, I never wanted you to screw up your health for me. This changes your life completely, what if you ever have any issue, you need your second kidney as a back up, why would you do this! I would rather fucking die than live by taking a kidney from you!"

"I would rather live with one kidney than let you die! Don't you fucking see that! Why are you so selfish? Why is it all about what you want and about your love and about how much you care for me? I love you, I want you to live your life, I fucking refuse to lose you!"

"Then why didn't you come visit me? WHY! Is it because you regretted making this mistake, because even I know it is a mistake Lil," he whispered remorsefully.

Lil's eyes widened, "NO, that is not why, Tommy,"

"Then why Lil, why didn't you come see me?"

Lil sighed, this is the part she hated worst, this is the part that would hurt him most…

, "That day… you were barely alive," She began painfully, "They were able to do an emergency test of all of us in the room to see if there were any matches, because they knew you didn't have any more time… and I was a match," Lil whispered with a tearful smile, "And I thank God for that every single day, he gave me the greatest gift that day, because I was able to help you." She insisted, her hand cupping his face affectionately, "But… because of your state we knew we had to perform the transplant right away, and there wouldn't be enough time to take all the safety precautions required for my surgery to ensure we get the kidney to you immediately."

Tommy's eyes widened, "Lil…" He almost chocked out, "What happened?"

"I got an infection," She said gently, "My body didn't react well to the urgent surgery, but I knew it wouldn't, they had told me it wouldn't."

"Why the fuck would the hospital let you do this surgery… why would my parents… your parents, let you do the surgery when it was risking your health!" Tommy growled angrily, his eyes blazing with anger.

"I signed consent saying that I knew of the likely outcomes of the procedure so the hospital couldn't really say much else… and as for anyone else… Tommy, there was no one in this fucking world that could've stopped, I wouldn't have even stopped for you, I swear to god." Lil stated seriously.

Tommy felt the tears begin to burn at his eyes, "What happened to you?"

"After the procedure, I didn't find out if the transplant saved you for two whole months because I was in very critical condition myself," Lil admitted, cringing when she saw Tommy's hand curl into a fist painfully, "When I was finally stable they told me that you had reacted to the kidney and had survived," She continued tearfully, "It was a miracle, it literally breathed life into me." Lil whispered, reaching for his fist and closing her hands over it gently, "I came out of the hospital about another two months after that, they kept to treat me and keep my other kidney strong, and fight the terrible infection that wouldn't go away."

She saw the tear roll down his cheek treacherously, and before she knew it he had turned around and punched the brick wall painfully, Lil screamed as she rushed forward and held his bleeding knuckle in her hand, "Tommy, stop!"

Tears streamed down his face as he sat at the edge of the curb holding his head in his hands, "Please tell me I'm having a nightmare right now, please,"

Lil kneeled beside him, "Please Tommy, don't be upset, everything's fine now, this is what I was worried about. At the beginning I wasn't able to get out of my hospital bed but over the months I got much better and would even come see you from the door. They told me you were barely holding on and I knew that seeing me and knowing what I did would have been too much for you with how weak you were. I knew that seeing how sick I was and how weak I was you wouldn't be able to take it, you wouldn't be able to be strong enough to fight! And there was no way I was going to lose you, even if it meant I had to cry outside your room because of how much I wanted to hold your hand, to tell you I was there. And even when I got out of the hospital, I looked very skinny and pale and I knew with one look at me you'd know something was wrong, and I didn't want you to find out while you still weren't well. I didn't want to risk anything; I didn't want to hurt you." Lil sobbed, "I love you Tommy, I do, and I don't regret my decision, this is one of the best things that could've happened to me that we matched, because I was able to save you, I was able to bring you back!" She insisted wrapping her arms around him tightly, "I knew how much it hurt to leave you waiting for me, to leave you wondering… but I wasn't strong enough to come see you, and there was no way I'd risk letting you find out while you were still at the hospital… I didn't want to hinder your recovery like that, I knew how you would've felt if you found out about what I did. I knew seeing me like that would break you, because your crazy enough to think its your fault-…"

"Lil it is!"

"It's not, it's a blessing for me, having you here, having you well, I would give up both my kidneys if it meant you would be okay," Lil promised, tears streaming from her eyes.

"Lil… I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you, I'm so sorry you had to do this for me," Tommy whispered tearfully.

"Shhh," She whispered, leaning forward to shush him with her lips against his. Both of their tears still wet on their cheeks as they held each other's faces affectionately, their kiss filling with the passion of their love.

When they broke from the kiss their foreheads remained resting against each others, "I'm so glad we got to have a love like ours, I never thought something could feel like this…" She whispered vulnerably.

Tommy brought her hand to his lips, before looking up at her honestly, "I love you."

Lil smiled before pecking his lips softly, "To the power of two."

A/n: its been over a year since I've updated this story, since I've done anything on fanfiction as a matter of fact. I reread this story myself in the last two days and had written most of this update a long while ago, I just didn't get to editing and finishing it. I don't know if I did justice to the story, it's hard to get back into the feel of things after being away from it all for so long. I hope I did, and I hope readers of this story get to read this last chapter, if they haven't forgotten about this story yet!

This was a very interesting story, with many ups and downs and frustrating bits and Tommy treated Lil very poorly, when I read the chapter where he slept with her, I was a little erked by it myself and the chapter that followed with him leaving her was hard to read as well. And overall, this was a very intense love story to say the least, that's what I loved about fanfiction, the things you can create and write about. I don't know if a love like this actually exists, I'm sure it must but rereading it I wondered if fans thought it was a 'bit much' and 'over the top'. Wow this story was published in 2007… WOW. How life has changed and how long its been… crazy.

Well this is the conclusion of this story that I've completed slowly over about 4 and a half years… wow still cant get over that, and I thank all the readers for putting up with me and the long update periods, and wish you all the best!

(now lets see if I still know how to upload this thing)

oh wow a lot of things have changed on the site!