Does Life Simply Go On After?

By Ceridwen

I always loved watching those fantastic fights of Hercules and Iolaus in a village square - when they bravely and fearlessly defeat warlords, monsters and Gods. But what effect does that have on the life of the village afterwards? Is it all a big celebration for our heroes? What happens after everything has quieted down again, our heroes have left the scene and business is running as usual?

Thank you for calling Greece DirectLine Insurance Services.

Please not that for quality and training purposes, you call is being recorded.

"Greece DirectLine, Antica speaking, how may I help?"

"Hi, my home contents and buildings insurance is coming up for renewal and I'd like to get a comparative quote from you please."

"Sure, can I take a few details from you first?"

"Of course"

"Right, what type of property do you wish to insure?"

"It's the "Blue Lion Inn" in Thrace. It's got the inn downstairs with a kitchen and then 7 rooms upstairs."

"And where in Thrace is the inn located?"

"At the centre square."

"Hum. Have you had any quotes before?"

"Apart from my current one, no."

"Right, the best I can do is ... DN2457."

"Whaaaat???? That's outrageous!"

"I'm sorry, but that's the best I can do. You see, you live in a high risk area and own a high risk establishment."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, according to our records, Thrace is frequently visited by both Hercules and Iolaus and the insurance claims after each visit have been increasing steadily over the past several years. And as you're located at the centre square and own an inn, you're right in the middle of what we class as the danger zone."

"But they've only helped the village against bandits and monsters and the Gods!"

"That's all very well, but still damage has been done and claimed for every time. Therefore we had to raise our premiums like all other insurers did and adjusted our rates accordingly. I suspect you don't have a no-claims bonus?"

whisper "No. The last time Hercules and Iolaus stayed at my inn, the wall in the main hall had to be ..."

"Well, our fully comprehensive "GDL Hero" package includes coverage for any damages to your building done by Hercules, Iolaus or any of their friends with complimentary roof and unlimited wall coverage."

"What about windows and doors?"

"Doors are included, but for the windows you'll have to pay an excess of DN20 per window."

"And damages to the contents? Benches, chairs and kitchen equipment like frying pans and wine amphorae?"

"They are covered as well. But you pay the first DN25 on each claim and you're only allowed 5 claims per contract year."

"How about loss of food?"

"Well, it's not part of the policy, but you can add it as an option if you like for an extra ... DN150 p.a. That's excluding VAT and beverages and only covers what's being thrown around inside your main hall as part of a fight involving Hercules, Iolaus or any of their friends or family. Do you wish to have an additional medical insurance as well?"

"No, I've already have one, which actually expires next month ..."

"Oh. Good luck renewing that one! Anyways, I'll be happy to send you the details."

"Yes, please. Thanks."

"You're welcome!"

Was that the way it was, I wonder????