Woot. One shot? No idea. We'll see, but this has been in my head for a while and I just need to get it done… so here it is.

Summary: We always here stories were Naruto is the clueless little adorable blonde that everyone is (basically) lusting over. Well, now the roles are reversed. Sort of.

Unintentional NaruSasu XD

3 New Messages

First Message: Hey, Naruto! This is Tsunade speaking if you haven't guess yet. Your rents are due again, and since you didn't pay last months I expect to see double- -

MESSAGE DELETED (Make that triple- - next month)

Second Message: Hey Naruto. Kakashi is really riding me--not in THAT way, wipe that grin off of your face, young man--about getting you to consider teaching his martial arts class a lesson or two about why brute force does not always when against brain power. We've invited Sasuke as well. See ya! -Iruka

MESSAGE DELETED (That was mood lifting)

Third Message: Ku… Naruto, we got some new Yaoi manga coming in today. I'll save you a few but you better hurry before the fan girls get here. Or boys, for that matter. –Sai

MESSAGE DELETED (Yes I'm bloody- - NO! WAIT! I LIEEEEE!)

MESSAGE FOUND

Ha! Thank old technology for that! Screw radiation, those new cell phones can't do this!

Now, what did he say again?

Today. Damn today. The one day I DON'T have a car.

And everyone else seems to be gone!

Neji and Gaara on a date.

Kiba off at the farm.

And Lee? Well, I actually value my life so… He is out of the question.

And then there was Sasuke-Bastard.

Was he even an option?

If you had a choice in your own death, then maybe.

But really…

Yaoi… in all of its yaoi-y goodness…

Death… in all of its bastard-y goodness…

The world may never know.

I lie again.

Yaoi it is!

Look, its not like I have anything against death… its just… Yaoi! Even the death god would scum to its juiciness! That by no means makes me a fan (boy). I'm just what you would call gay. I mean extreme.

Well, what? You can't be surprised. I read Yaoi… I'm a guy… It all adds up.

But back to what I was talking about… Which was… Sasuke-Bastard… right.

He'll have to want to take me. I mean, he IS my best friend… And he is always telling me to read.

Real books.

And how he never gets out anymore.

Don't you mean how he 'will never go to the mall anymore for fear of major glompage'?

And SAI is going to be there!

Sasuke HATES Sai… every since the skirt incident.

Well, aren't YOU just a pessimistic ball of sunshine?

I'm your conscious—we are made to be logical

If logical means throwing away ones hopes and dreams. And why do you sound so much like Sasuke-bastard, Gaara, and Neji when they get along?

We.

Oh. Gah, you're making me lose track of what I am saying.

For whatever strange reason…

.:POV CHANGE:.

…He had said yes.

Sasuke hated the mall. He generally disliked most people, particularly with those who had hearts for eyes and drool sliding down there skin. But most of all, he had a rather passionate hate for Sai. And skirts.

It was interchangeable.

It didn't seem to matter of course because once Naruto opened those eyes of his, it was like Sasuke became some kind of mindless drone—would you like fries with that?

Sasuke took a quick peek to his right before setting his eyes to the road. Naruto was singing along to some random band on the radio. Weird how he could match his pitch to exactly what the lead singer was. He would have been a better singer if he wasn't so shy.

Ha! That was funny. Naruto and shy in the same sentence.

He looks like he needed a haircut, Sasuke mused to himself. It's a bit too long. Prolly should cut it to just at the chin. As long as it doesn't look like back when he was twelve. Now THERE was a doozy. Like highlighter grass on someone's head. Sasuke couldn't bring himself to tell Naruto that, unfortunately. He had, however, given some subtle hints.

If subtle meant 'Naruto your hair looks like a dead monkey trimmed it'.

Oh, shut up Naruto.

What? A twenty-two year old man wasn't allowed to poke fun at his conscious? It sounded exactly like him. It was also the reason Sasuke had done some of his most stupidest stunts.

Come on Sasuke, jumping off the roof is cool!

Come on Sasuke! Streaking isn't that bad!

It was safe to say that listening to his conscious was not something Sasuke did often.

"Maa… Maa… Hurry up Sasuke!" How does he do that? It was like the energizer bunny. On steroids.

Before Sasuke could fully comprehend what was going on, he was suddenly in front of the book store, watching Naruto run inside and grab a stack of about eight books.

Watch it all be that junk he read. Manga. What a waste of time and money. Try to get Naruto to read a real book? It was a reenactment of Moses and the Red Sea.

The things I do for blonde idiots.

.:POV CHANGE:.

Eight new YAOI!

It's like a hot Christmas!

Nothing can stop me from reading my Manga!

Well, maybe car sickness.

I can practically hear Bastard rolling his eyes.

"Dobe, you've known you get motion sickness since you where eleven. You're twenty-one."

"Manga…" I offer piteously, trying to curl up and fix everything at the same time. It doesn't work so well, considering I'm in the front seat and the seatbelt is inflexible. Joy!

TIME SKIP: Later that afternoon

I sat gleefully holding up one of my new Manga. I was about half way through it and I'm pretty sure we were going to get somewhere steamy realll soon.

And of course they make me go wide-eyed!

"WHAT! NO WAY HE'S UKE! NU-UH! TOO BAD!" I'm so caught up into my manga that I barely notice Sasuke asking me a question.

Barely.

"What's a uke?"

Woah. Hold up. Did that just seriously come out of his mouth? A grin like the Cheshire cat formed in my mind as I just look at him with what I hoped was mild surprise. Sasuke, Mr. EveryStraighandHomoSexGodonLegs didn't know what a Uke was!

This could be good.

"A uke is like a person's… best friend. So you would be my Uke." Simple and easy to remember. Oh, shush. I can have my fun too!

"Oh, so I'm your Uke? Naruto's Uke." I wish I could laugh right now, but that would just ruin everything. "Would Kiba and all the rest be your Uke too?" Unable to help it, I snigger in my book, earning a look from Sasuke.

"You could say that." He stares at me for a moment as if trying to see if something is wrong (he's an Uchiha, paranoia is worked into there system). The moment passes and Sasuke shrugs.

Who needs acting school when you can come to me?

.:POV CHANGE:.

"No, Itachi, nothing big is happening here. Its basically the same." Sasuke nodded into the phone as he listened to the squeak that was his older brother. "But listen to this. The other day Naruto and me went to the book store because Naruto needed to get this pile of that junk he reads, manga (1) or whatever. When we got to my house, he sat there and started to read through it. Then suddenly he jumps up and yells "'What! There is no WAY he's Uke.'"

Weird. Was his brother having some kind of cough attack?

"I asked him what a Uke was." Yes, that was coughing. "Weird, right? Who would have thought I would ask Naruto for something? Anyway, when I asked him he said a Uke is a person best friend. So does that make me Naruto's Uke?"

Sasuke waited in silence for his brother's answer. "Itachi…?" Suddenly, something erupted from the other end that Sasuke was near surprised to hear.

"You—" Peals of laughter. "Are—" Volcano's of giggles. "Naruto's" Breathless. "UKE!" Sasuke looked suspiciously at the phone, still hearing his brother laugh breathlessly. Frowning, he hung up the phone.

"Must be the caffeine."

(1) Manga-Imagine it said like "MAAAAN Gaaa!" Then you would get why this makes me laugh. Lmao, I think I say it this way XD

FIN.

There it ends, my dear fellows! This has been in my head for a while. XD So I finally wrote it down. –nods- What do ya think people! Review, please? n.n Um… Yep. This MIGHT (big might) become a two shot.