What Was
By:
Adalene Dubois
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tragedy, Romance
Summary: Rory remembers what was…. Lit Oneshot
Rory Gilmore watched as the rain fell hard from the grey over cast skies. It made loud pitter-patter noises against the top of her red umbrella, the raindrops easily slid to the edge of the water resistant material, and then fell to the wet grass beneath her.
The weather was poetically just; as the time called for the melancholy atmosphere that the rain brought along with it.
Rory's ice blue eyes scanned the grave markers as she walked by them; at last she finally came to it. She hadn't been here since the funeral... It had been a year since the tragedy had taken place, leaving her feeling empty inside, as though she had gone with her best friend…her beloved.
Despite the wetness of the ground, she sat down and closed her umbrella, her legs folded beneath her as she stared at the words etched into stone.
'Jess Mariano, forever in our hearts and memories'. She took a shaky breath as she let one finger trace over the letters that spelled out his name.
"Hey," She breathed her voice barely above a whisper. "It's me. I…I've missed you so much…
You know, what I can't understand? Is how you always were so invincible, so impervious, how you ended up here..." She felt tears fall from her eyes, blending with the cold rain.
Memories of when they first met and further on into their future unfolded in her mind's eye. The smell of his cologne, the feeling of his warm breath against her neck, of when he would wrap his arms around her waist and pull her close to his side.
A sob escaped her mouth; "I didn't want it to end this way." She cried, her voice thick. "I don't know what to do… You were…you brought out the part of me I was too afraid to show on my own. You were the One, Jess. I loved you." She sobbed out; her breath coming in short gasps.
"Why couldn't you have just stayed in that night? Why couldn't you have just stayed with me?" She said to the cold, unresponsive marble.
"I miss you, I want you back." Rory's eyes were red, and her voice hoarse. She glanced down at the wedding band on her left hand. "It not fair, you love someone so much, and in a blink of an eye they are gone; just like that." She whispered, still starring at the golden band. "If that's the case, what's the point in feeling anything for anyone?" She asked the sky, "What's the point?!" She asked a little louder.
She lay down on top of the grave. Closing her eyes, wishing she would just sink down into the ground herself… But then she remembered her Mom, and Luke and her family and friends, and her baby daughter. Her daughter was the one thing that kept Rory sane.
Her name was Rose, her eyes were ice blue, and her hair was black and curly. Rory smiled at the thought of her baby. Sitting up, she looked at the tombstone, she ran a hand across the black marble, his face appeared in her mind's eye and she couldn't help but smile as the familiar smirk formed on his lips.
"Jess, Rose misses you… Sometimes she asks where's Daddy? And I can't answer her, because I don't know myself. Are you just in the ground, or are you here with me?" She paused, closing her eyes a moment.
"She's growing up to be like you, you can already see this mischievous glint her eyes that is just like you. She's already addicted to coffee, preferably Luke's coffee, just like me.
"The other night, she asked if I would read Hemmingway, it figures doesn't it? I remember you used to read her Hemmingway when she was only a few months old; see you're already so much apart of our little girl. And your not here to see that she is so much like you, only at the age of three too." Rory said through a watery smile, a sad laugh escaping her lips at the thought of the three year old who liked Hemmingway?
"I will always love you Jess, you have to know that…" She said, closing her eyes as tears fell down her cheeks.
The rain had stopped falling, and now it was just overcast, she opened her eyes and looked at the tombstone in front of her. "I should probably go, my mom's going to wonder where I am… Bye, Jess." She said, picking up her umbrella, and leaving a red rose on top of the marble tombstone.
She started to walk away, back to her car, when she felt like there was someone next to her. She felt a cool breath on the wet skin of her neck. She felt a smirk form on her lips that looked remarkably like the one Jess always wore. "Thank you." She whispered to the air, and the unseen ghost.
Finis