Valentine's Day.

The... Valentine's day.

I had a theory last year... A theory that only a lonely eighth grader could create.

Valentine's Day... Was created by robots.

Evil robots, bent on distracting the world completely.

One half of the population would be giggling and leaping across the world with their boxes of chocolates and the hands of their lovers. And the rest of their lovers, of course, but they'd be holding hands. They're not crazy enough to amputate their significant others and put everything but their hands into a blender.

I hope.

And the other half would wallow in their own self pity, wondering what it was that was so wrong with them that they couldn't have a hand and some chocolate to skip with. Well, a hand that wasn't their own and chocolate that they didn't buy for themselves out of depression.

And that's when the robots would attack!

Years into the future, the other depressed half would eventually off themselves out of loneliness! And then the first half would be too distracted and blinded by the bouquets of roses and chocolate that they wouldn't notice that every... single... chocolate is lined with poison!

We would all die, and the robots would rejoice!

But when I warned Warren about it before school, just in case any of those silly teenage girls working for the robots surrounding him got any funny ideas, he laughed!

Well, he snorted.

But it still hurt! And then he called me a lunatic and a shoved a burnt up chocolate kiss in my hands and walked off to Homeroom.

I don't want no burnt chocolate!

And of course, being as stupid and cheesy as I am, I put the burnt up chocolate wrapped in equally burnt aluminum foil in my pocket. Because even though it's a pitiful little thing, I can't part with something that Warren the Great has given me.

In fact, I don't think he's ever given me anything in the months that we've known each other. It's always me that's feeding him. I am done being a giver today! I'll just feed him the chocolate cake I made him yesterday and that'll be it.

... Did I honestly just say that?

The robots are not going to have any pity on me this year.

Author's Note: What is this? Another chapter yet the story is complete? Tis an advertisement of the new story, who's name is not yet thought of. For those who were disappointed that Warren didn't become a man and get with Emily, rejoice! For I'm sure it'll happen eventually in the sequel.

So. This is officially ended. No more unexpected chapters. Stop reading already!