Title: The Keeper of Lady Elizabeth's Honor (and Virtue and Knees)
Author: Evelyn Benton
Rating: Young Adults
Date: 07/31/06
Genre: Humor, Romance
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis (Sheppard/Weir)
Archive: Stellar Phenomena, Command Dynamics, and fan fiction dot net; all others, please ask.
Disclaimer: The Sci-Fi Channel and MGM own Stargate: Atlantis; I own this not-for-profit fan fiction; no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note 1: An enormous thanks to Shannon for beta reading. Thank you!
Author's Note 2: Because I don't have cable, I have only seen the complete first season of Stargate: Atlantis on DVD. If any details in this season three story seem inaccurate, please let me know.
Summary: Sheppard has always been protective of those close to him, but now he finds himself becoming a little too protective of Weir.

Fiddling with the USB drive in his hand, John Sheppard quickly navigated the halls of Atlantis and headed for Dr. Weir's office. He nodded politely at his fellow men, and added a charming boyish smile to that nod every time he encountered a woman.

He was shocked to find Elizabeth's office empty during the middle of the day. In the back of his mind, curiosity awoke and began to ask his rational mind where Elizabeth could have gone.

When he placed the USB drive he had borrowed back on Elizabeth's desk, he noticed that she had left her laptop computer running. John casually turned around and, upon seeing no one else near the office, slowly strolled behind the desk. John turned his head to the left. With innocent raised eyebrows, he glanced to see if anyone outside of Elizabeth's office had caught sight of him in there alone.

John mentally reminded himself that he was a rather respectable Air Force officer. No one would question what he was doing in his civilian supervisor's office alone, unguarded, around top secret information that everyone was conspiring to keep secret from him…

"You're being ridiculous," he whispered to himself, nervously scratching the back of his head. "A quick little looksie never hurt anyone, or so said the cat before he was gobbled up by the Curiosity Monster," John rambled. He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced around the empty office. He looked toward the door one last time before sitting in Elizabeth's chair.

"Hmm," he mumbled when he sat down. The chair was more comfortable than he had imagined, which was odd considering it was exactly the same as almost every other chair in Atlantis.

When John looked at the screen, he was surprised to see that Elizabeth had left her office in the middle of reading her e-mail.

"My God!"

It seemed almost as if certain words jumped off of the screen for the sole purpose of being seen by John's eyes.

...just hearing about it makes mine stiff. Carter occasionally teases me for not being able to keep up with her, but it's not that bad. I don't know what's worse: getting stiffer in cold, wet weather, or the aches and hard swelling that come with hot weather. Sometimes a good massage helps it, but most of the time, I don't want to touch it… "That sick, perverted son of a bitch!" John swore louder than intended. He glanced up again to verify that he was indeed alone before he quickly returned his gaze to the screen.

Because John was too disgusted to read anything else in the message, he frantically scrolled down to the bottom of the e-mail to find that it had been signed by General Jack O'Neill. John thought O'Neill had seemed like a reasonably nice guy, but he was only around him for a day or so. O'Neill was older, acted like an immature idiot from time to time, and had an obsessive fixation with The Simpsons and Mary Steenburgen. Were these the traits of a crazy old man who liked to prey on beautiful, smart, and strong women? Why in the world was he sending this perversion to Elizabeth?

"I'll show you, you sick bastard. That'll teach you to sexually harass—" John continued muttering a long line of complaints and curses toward O'Neill for taking advantage of Elizabeth simply because she, as leader of the Atlantis expedition, was somewhere in his chain of command. If O'Neill thought he could simply get away with it, he had another thing coming.

John remembered the name "Carter" from many of McKay's rambling stories about the beautiful and brilliant Air Force scientist he had worked with at the SGC. Was Samantha Carter, like Elizabeth, a victim to General O'Neill's disgusting ways? John was a flirt and a shameless ladies man, but he would never, ever take advantage of any woman, especially those with whom he worked.

While John was muttering to himself, he started composing a new message.

General O'Neill,

I am neither a stickler for the rules nor a tattletale, but your actions have gone unnoticed long enough. I am reporting you to your superiors, Stargate Command, the Air Force, and whoever else I can find in order to put a stop to your crude behavior—

"John, what are you doing?"

John stopped typing and quickly jumped to his feet as Elizabeth walked into her office. "Hey, Elizabeth!" He mentally reprimanded himself for sounding so incredibly obvious. He was the perfect incarnation of the little boy who insisted that he had not eaten any treats, despite the chocolate smeared across his face that suggested the contrary.

Without thinking, a lie quickly came to his lips. "My computer is broken. I needed to borrow one. I figured you wouldn't mind," he said, stealthily meeting Elizabeth at the front of her desk. John leaned against her desk and crossed his arms.

"What's wrong with it? Maybe I can help—"

"Blue screen of death. I have the nerd herd working on it," John said, cocking his head to the side to reference the scientists who were busying themselves in other parts of the city. It didn't matter that his computer was not broken and that they were not fixing it. He told the truth—somewhere in Atlantis, nerds were working on "nerd things," including computers.

Elizabeth noticed that John was forcing himself not to blink his eyes often and there was a thin layer of sweat on his blushed skin. He was biting down on his tightly held lower lip. Elizabeth started moving toward the back of her desk. "I'll let you get back to your work, but give me a sec to save some stuff I'm working on."

John beat her to the computer and reached for the sensor pad, but he was too late.

"John," she patiently said, stepping back and looking directly at him. "What's going on?"

John stood up straight and returned Elizabeth's direct stare. He put his hands on his hips. "Nothing," he answered awkwardly. He crossed his arms, and under her intense scrutiny, he dropped his hands back to his hips again.

Not taking her eyes off of John, Elizabeth sat down in her chair. She then read aloud the message John was writing. John suddenly had even more trouble standing still. When she was finished reading, she looked up at him for an explanation.

After a few awkward moments of silence, John finally spoke. "No one is going to talk to you like that, Elizabeth, and they're not going to take advantage of you. Not when I can help it. I'm going to make that—"

"Take advantage of me?" At Elizabeth's confused, and slightly amused, tone of voice, John shamefully looked around at everything but Elizabeth. "What makes you think General O'Neill is taking advantage of me?"

John sighed in defeat. "Look, I came by to drop off the USB drive I borrowed. I saw your computer running…by itself…unguarded, and I wondered if Dr. Elizabeth Weir plays solitaire all day in her office like any other self-respecting political leader."

Elizabeth couldn't stop the smile that was easing its way onto her face. "You were snooping," she stated, forcing herself to be serious.

"I wasn't snooping," he indignantly replied. "Okay, so maybe I was, a little, and I'm sorry about it. But I'm not sorry about seeing one of the e-mails that sick bas—"

"You read my e-mail?" She already knew the answer to her question. It was cruel, but Elizabeth wanted to hear him actually admit it.

"It was sorta on there when I kinda looked at the screen," John smoothly responded.

Elizabeth tucked her hair back behind her right ear. "John, I've been exchanging the occasional e-mail with General O'Neill since we first left Earth." Elizabeth could have sworn a look of jealousy crossed John's face.

"I'd only known Jack for a few days when I was in charge of the SGC. He was frozen at the Ancient outpost in Antarctica for most of my command at Cheyenne Mountain. During that time, Colonel Carter told me a lot about him, including the fact that Jack has knee problems due to repeated injuries over the years. She told me he picks on his friends because they never ask about his knee. So, because I have a knee that deals me some occasional misery, I asked him about his knee in one of my first e-mails to Earth. It became a running gag between us—we share knee stories every now and then, such as the one you read. That's it," Elizabeth said with a shrug and an empty hand gesture. "What did you think we were talking about?"

John's flushed cheeks seem to pale for a moment before returning to their previous shade of blushed humiliation. "Nothing. I knew it was about knees."

"Of course," Elizabeth concurred. "Oh, and that thing between General O'Neill and Colonel Carter mentioned in the e-mail is something that qualifies as 'don't ask, don't tell.' You know how the line can sometimes blur between people who work together in dangerous situations," she said in a lower voice, as if their superiors would jump out from behind a chair or a potted plant and inflict discipline on all parties guilty of ever-so-slightly bending the fraternization regulations.

John, whose hands had once again been on his hips, stood with his arms crossed yet again. His face was still a warm shade of red. He would never admit it, but he was almost entertaining the theory that there was maybe a little bit of jealousy behind his initial reaction.

The knowledge that there was something "unofficial" between General O'Neill and Colonel Carter made him think about the fraternization regulations in a new way. Over time, things happen and relationships evolve. Why should individuals have to censor their feelings under the threat of punishment? Why should unknown names and unseen faces have the right to punish those who break these rules because of simple human emotions?

"You've never talked much about your knee. What happened?" John asked, abruptly taking Elizabeth's focus off of his snooping and taking his own focus off of thoughts best left alone.

Elizabeth laughed once. "Ah, so you want to know about my moment of heroic glory. I was attending a UN conference when a man opened fire on the crowd. The security guard accompanying me took me down and out of the direct line of fire. When we went down, I banged my knee on a rock. I've had a few small problems with it over the years, but nothing to write home about. So to speak," she quickly added, recalling that she did, literally, write home about it from time to time.

John nodded and started to walk away when Elizabeth stood and caught his arm. When he didn't turn around to face her, she walked around in front of him, taking hold of his other arm as well.

"Thank you, John." He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"For snooping?" he asked with a goofy grin to match his equally goofy behavior.

Elizabeth smiled. "For being so protective of me. I'm honored that you think so highly of me." John shifted his weight and looked away from her direct gaze. "Then again, you're protective of all of 'your people,'" she quickly added, sensing that perhaps she was off in her interpretation of his actions. Like John, she suddenly had trouble making direct eye contact.

John felt horrible watching Elizabeth, the suave diplomat, sheepishly try to cover her tracks. John looked deeply into her eyes. He removed her hands from his arms and held them in his firm grasp. "I know I can be overprotective of people close to me, but they're worth it," he admitted, adding "unconditionally, one hundred percent. I'll always be there for them if they need my help, whether they ask for it or not…though I will try to respect their privacy a little more in the future."

Elizabeth nodded slowly. One thing was crystal clear to her: the line she had referenced only a few moments prior was starting to blur. "They appreciate it, and they would do the same for you," she told him.

John's eyes twinkled. "Well, I'm glad they appreciate it and would do the same for me."

"You should go see how the repairs on your computer are coming along," Elizabeth suggested, giving John an out before things turned awkward again. Confusion washed over his features. She resisted the urge to laugh at his inability to remember his own lame lie. "Your broken computer…"

"Yeah, with the blue screen of death!" John exclaimed, remembering his lie from earlier. "Right. See ya later." With that, he headed for the door.

Elizabeth started walking to the back of her desk. "John Sheppard," she said loudly. John stopped at the sound of his name, but he didn't look back. "Keeper of Lady Elizabeth's honor and virtue…"

"And knees," he added, his voice oozing with charm. In the second it took for Elizabeth to turn toward the doorway, John was out of sight.

END