Well, maybe I should take his ignorance to my advantage, like I had done from the moment he bought me at that particular shop which was located at a street named Knockturn Alley. I am still wondering what that far descendant of Merlin was doing at that particular place. Yes, of course, he was still a young boy. But think of it, the descendant of Light doing business along a street devoted to darkness. Oh, the Irony.
Yes, I remember him telling to the shopkeeper that he was well aware of the fact that catching and owning phoenixes were, back then, banned by the Ministry. That is when he came up with that particular piece of nonsense that I had saved his life when he had an unfortunate engagement with dark wizards, that I had healed him with my tears and bonded to him as his familliar to protect him.
Of course, the naive Ministry fell right into his little web of lies and deemed him to be not guilty. Surely the far descendant of Merlin wouldn't even consider to do anything illegal, not to speak of doing any business in a dark shop.
It took me only one burning cycle to discover the man's ignorance. One single cycle in which it occured to me how little he actually knew about my kind. I hadn't yet considered talking to him since I considered it to be better to reserve that for the ones I like and trust. I didn't like the teenager at all, nor did I trust him, and since he seemed to ignorant to know that I would be able to talk, I kept my beak shut to him.
Had the boy not bought me, I would have at least have gotten some proper food. But no, the stupid ignorant fool tried to feed me his dammit muggle sweets, which were obvious his favorite snacks. A gesture of kindness, I am well aware of that, but obvious that isn't the kind of food that keeps me alive. If I hadn't sneaked out of the window to hunt my own, every so often when the boy was asleep, It surely would have been my final burning day.
I took his ignorance and stubbornness to my adventage. When he was not in his room, or later his office, I looked into his pensieve, read the papers on his desk, examined the various silver instruments he possessed and spied on his activities. When he established his pathetic Order of the Phoenix, he made me the Order's official mascot. Damn it! I'm not a stupid mascot, you dense imbecile of a wizard! I'm even more than you would be able to guess...
I was furious. What did that dense imbecile think himself to be, to command me to take part in his every pathetic little move. He was just again into catching innocent wizards into his carefully woven web of lies. I knew it. I had been reading enough of his scribblings and knew exactly what he was planning. Of course no single wizard would suspect the far descendant of Merlin to get into manipulating and ordering people around to increase his very own reputation. Or was there?
Since then I deem it still unbelievable that there seem to be no single wizard who is able to see through the man's own-made mask of goodness, to catch a glimpse of the underlaying man who is up to manipulating and deceiving whoever he can get to gaining his trust.
At least he told me the reasons for establishing his order before he commanded me to be his order's initiatory tool. He still believes in his little myths does he? He still believes I am a resemblant of Light, being able to distinct those who are pure and innocent from those who have ill intentions. He still believes in his made-up lie that I am his familliar.. If he ever knew who I am.. I would giggle to see him off guard, his ignorant eyes swaying to the back of his head. I would smirk to see him choke his stupid muggle sweets, and I would laugh out loud when he falls from his chair due to a heart attack. Yes.. If he ever knew...
He told me that his Order would fight against evil wizards, especially a certain one who's name was Tom Riddle. As if the auror's aren't good enough. But no, the ignorant fool is in need to uphold his reputation of bravery and chivalry, else the wizarding society would perhaps fall from their believe that the far descendant of Merlin was a true, flawless Gryffindor, and they would loose their trust and faith in him.
I do know better. I saw for myself. The memory of his sorting which he left in his pensieve, was certainly remarkable. The Hat almost placed him into Slytherin. But no, the far descendant of Merlin couldn't be in the Snakes Lair, that would ruin the boy's future reputation. So the boy had threatened the Hat to tear him into rags if he refused to put him into Gryffindor. the Hat had complied but not quite so willingly.
Is the Light really worth it? Is the manipulating imbecile really worth my presence? My collaboration? I could betray the Light and flee to the Darkness. Is the Darkness really that bad as the stupid fool makes all his little pawns believe? What difference could there be if both parties are trying to rule over others in the same disgusting way? I could just fly away from him, since I never bonded to the man. I could try to find my home into the Darkness, spilling every of his little secrets to his enemy. I could become a spy. I could...
It is a remarkable fact that a man, having such promising intellectual abilities, has never considered the possibility that I could be an animagus. Of course it is a good cover, since Phoenixes are nearly immortal. I die every so often, keeping my memory intact. And then I reborn again from my ashes. And when the time arrives when I am willing to die for good, my young will be born from my ashes, leaving him all my memories and knowledge as an inheritance. Yes, we phoenixes do know a lot, even if we happen to be animagi.
I remember the time when the Order engaged in a war against the Darkness. Many lives ended due to the actions of one imbecile idiot, which made me doubt him, and the Light side even more. Then a prophecy was told, and of course as good believing as the foolish idiot is, he started immediately to calculate and plan. Oh yes, I have read his little scribblings. He was planning to do just that which has caused so many others who had put their trust and faith in him, to die, namely to manipulate, whoever the prophecy concerned, and shape the person into his own little pawn, so that he could claim the defeat of Tom Riddle for himself, so that he would be able to catch just a bit more of wizarding population into his web of lies.
And so the destined was born, according to the man who claims myself to be his familliar. Not much later, the destined boy's parents were killed by Tom Riddle, but when the wizard shot the killing curse at the boy, it strangely backfired and made Tom Riddle disappear. When the facts came to me, overhearing a conversation in the Headmasters Office, I knew exactly what the man was planning to do, since he had planned it all along. He would make the boy's life like hell, to later rescue him and fill him with lies. He then would give the boy everything in trade for the boy's trust. He would use him as a pawn to reach his own insane fantasies of power. He will totally ruin everything the boy would hold dear.
Is the Light really worth it? Can I stay here any longer keeping up the facade that I am just an innocent bird? An Icon of Light? A mascot of the Order of the Phoenix? Can I stay here any longer without driving myself to insanity? There is nothing left to choose for me. The Darkness has vanished so there is no way to flee to it. The Darkness is vanished, so there is no way to spy for it. The Light has won, or has it?
The newborn boy, doesn't know anything about Light and Dark. The newborn boy doesn't know anything about the wizarding world. The newborn boy is placed with muggles who do obvious not care for him, care for magic, care for his feelings.
And that is exactly where Albus wants to have him, broken and unsure of himself, Waiting there eleven years to be rescued and manipulated by the first person who acts to be nice to him. His fate lays in the most horrible hands where one can lay it. And it is all in the planning of one Albus Dumbledore.
That boy needs my protection. He needs to learn the truth. He needs to know there is someone who cares for him, all be it only me. He needs to know that someone will take care of him, unconditional care without the layered desire to control him. He needs to learn to be strong, to rebel against manipulation, to live a life of his own choice.
I have no choice, I must do it. The idiotic imbecile may call me Fawkes, but I, myself, I know better. I have another name. Let me then stray from the facade of Light, and protect the one boy who's life is in danger.