Samantha Richmond lied on a 7,000 dollar couch. Smoking her cigarette leisurely, she watched the other people in the room with little interest. They were passing cocaine around like candy, enjoying it like something sweet. There were 5 in all, 3 boys and 2 girls sitting around the room. Samantha didn't know the girls, but the boys were long time friends of hers, all very rich and amazing in bed. She loved sleeping with men, but sometimes craved a women's touch. She eyed the girls, but didn't feel anything despite their revealing outfits. She looked at Richard, one of the 3 men, and shook her head in disappointment. "Neither of them will do." She took another drag off her cigarette. "Tell them to leave, I can't stand whores." She smirked smugly at the two girls. One of them immediately stood up and walked out of the room, the other sat speechless on the couch, staring at the arrogant blonde. "I'm sorry darling, rejection is a bitch but I can't fuck something disgusting."

"She's really good." Another man, Landon, quipped in. Samantha looked at him, but that didn't stop him from speaking. "Give her a chance, she's the best."

Samantha eyed the girl again. She had an exotic, somewhat Hawaiian, look but Samantha couldn't get past the tube top and slut skirt. She was beautiful, but also a whore, it almost made her gag. "I'll pass, maybe the garbage man can do something with her… she is trash." She sat up and leaned forward, taking a glass of wine, she sat back against the expensive cushions and began drinking the red liquid.

Richard stood up and escorted the whore out of the house. Samantha laughed as he lowered his hand from the small of her back to her ass. Of course the girl allowed it to stay there. "Where did you find that slut?" She looked at Landon with a raised eyebrow, not angry, just curious.

Landon leaned back in his seat, enjoying the drugs in his system. "Just a whore I came across." He shrugged.

Samantha sighed. "I don't like poor bitches. Make sure she's the last person you ever bring me, okay?" He didn't have time to answer, Samantha's attention was elsewhere, on Richard and his friend. "Who is this?" She asked eyeing the woman at his side. She was hot, Hispanic and well dressed. Samantha was very interested in her, wanting more and more to take her to bed and fuck her. "Hello." She greeted kindly, gesturing for Landon to stand up. Landon immediately obeyed and offered his seat to Madison. It was the closest to Samantha.

The rich arrogant blonde looked at the boys. "We'll like our privacy." She said after getting a glimpse of Madison's notebook, the words 'Ashley Davies' captured her attention. "And take your shit, Richard."

The tall brown haired blue eyed man leaned over and grabbed his cocaine, winking at her, he followed the other two men out the room. Green eyes regarded the well dressed woman still standing. She wasn't nervous, Samantha observed, just in awe at her beautiful home. "One hundred thousand dollar painting." She said following Madison's gaze to one of the many paintings on the walls.

Startled, Madison looked at her. "I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Madison Duarte," She offered the blonde her hand, Samantha took it easily. "Samantha Richmond." She replied, gently pulling the reporter to her. "Please have a seat." She purred, patting the space next to her.

Madison took the seat, feeling uncomfortable, the look in Samantha's eyes intimidated her. She could tell the blonde wanted something. "I started writing an article on Ashley Davies not too long ago. Pops wrote me a list of people to interview. You're on the top of it."

Samantha smiled softly, "I know everything about Ashley Davies." She shifted a bit on the couch, eyeing the reporter hungrily. "I can tell you exactly what you want to hear, I just have to know one thing. What's in it for me?"

Madison didn't hesitate answering, "Money, I can give-" She stopped when the blonde started laughing.

"I don't want your money, Madison." She waved her hand, motioning to everything around the room. "I'm good financially, but I could use a hand or two in other areas…"

Feeling a hand on her upper thigh, Madison abruptly stood up and stared disgustingly down at the blonde, feeling more than angry. Was the blonde suggesting she sleep with her? The reporter couldn't believe how cocky she looked staring up at her. She felt insulted and somewhat violated. "I'm sorry for wasting your time Ms. Richmond but I have to go now." Before I kill you.

Samantha still kept her cocky smile as she watched Madison walk away. She finally opened her mouth when the reporter reached the doorway. "Madison I have some news for you." Excitement welled up inside her when the brunette faced her. "About Ashley of course." She took another drag off her shortening cigarette, eyeing Madison again. Her breasts were perfect, hiding beneath a white blouse, nearly see through, her bra clearly visible; it heightened the blonde's arousal. She was close to desperate now, she'd do anything to get Madison in her bed, naked and squirming under her… "Before we get to Ashley, let's turn to Spencer and say… her boyfriend. How do you feel about them?"

Madison folded her arms across her chest, seeing green eyes openly stare at her breasts, and answered, "I met them and their both gorgeous, very kind and loveable. It's no wonder why America loves them so much."

Samantha met her gaze, chuckling. "Yes, they're very good actors." She stood up when Madison's expression changed from curious to disbelief. "They seem happy in all the pictures, smiling and hugging and shit, but I know for a fact they don't fuck." The video camera was on the coffee table, Samantha stared at it, knowing what evidence lied inside. She thought back to Ashley and the new addition to her life. Spencer Carlin. The blonde was no good for her Aly, they were far too different, and Ashley was being confined to a box, not allowed to touch drugs or have sex, it pissed Samantha off. Spencer was controlling Ashley and she followed her orders like a puppy dog.

The arrogant blonde didn't approve of Spencer and she wanted her gone. She was changing Ashley from a rock star to a bitch. The DVD inside the little recorder held the evidence she needed to get rid of Spencer. The world would hate her once they found out the truth. How she and Aiden were no longer together, how Ashley stole Spencer from Aiden, and how she constantly sleeps with the rock star. Ashley would probably panic, runaway, find her, ask questions, demand answers, and be devastated enough to snort cocaine. She would have her Aly back while Spencer went home and became a good little farm girl again, leaving her happy, that's all that mattered. Her happiness, because Samantha Richmond always got what she wanted. And she wanted Spencer out of Ashley's life. "Madison my dear, I have here the evidence that will earn you a promotion. The story of the year. I've grown so sick of Spaiden, the world is obsessed, their all over the teen magazines and I think it's time for a change, something new, something controversial. That's what you reporters look for in a story, right? Controversy, It's what pays the bills since boring stories don't sell as much as dishonorable ones." She opened the recorder and grabbed the small disc. "I have a little something here….would you like to see it?"

Madison stared at the small disc, she was curious, but also highly uncomfortable. She wanted so bad to turn and leave, forget the blonde and go on with her life. But her words were spoken so convincingly that she couldn't stop her head from bobbing up and down, satisfying the blonde. Madison felt sick when Samantha told her to take a seat. She wished the blonde had single chairs and not sofas and love seats. Sitting next to the rich blonde was the last thing she wanted to do.

Samantha walked out of the room while Madison got comfortable on the loveseat. She picked nervously at her skirt, not liking where things were going. The blonde's intentions were clear, she wanted to sleep with her, but Madison didn't feel the same way about Samantha. Sure the blonde was gorgeous, but Madison didn't feel anything toward her. She seemed cocky and arrogant, qualities she hated in men.

Carrying a laptop, Samantha walked back into the room and placed the pricy equipment on the coffee table. "Now the fun begins." She sat next to Madison and leaned forward, pressing the play button, the video started immediately, she leaned back and enjoyed the show.

"Aly, do you really need a bottle?" She giggled, as the rock star staggered over to the couch from the bar, fumbling with the wine cap. "Darling I could pour you a glass, there's an open bottle right here."

Ashley shook her head and collapsed on the couch, her head resting on Samantha's thigh. "This will do." She brought the bottle to her lips and took a drink. Her eyes stared up into the camera's lenses, she was used to the attention, it didn't bother her. It was just another camera in her face. "Sammy…" She took another drink, "I wish I could fuck you."

Samantha kept recording but diverted her eyes from the camera to her friend. She ran her fingers through her hair, gently pulling at the short auburn locks. Ashley kept staring at her, lost in the desire pooling in her green eyes, it was too much, she looked away and took another drink. "Then fuck me Aly, no ones watching." Her hand ran down her neck, her fingers teasing the skin there.

Ashley abruptly sat up when those fingers ran over her breast. "I can't," She said moving to the other end of the couch. "Spencer…"

Samantha eyes flickered over to Madison. She had a look of surprise on her face. The blonde smiled as Ashley's voice filled the room, confessing the true nature of Spashley to the reporter. She moved closer to Madison, her eyes solely on the reporter. "I think you realize what I have here." She lightly touched her knee. "This could be your big break, all you need is the DVD." Her fingers began teasing tanned skin, Madison visibly stiffened. "But I want you, all of you until tomorrow morning." She brought her hand up and placed two fingers under her chin, urging her to look into her eyes. "What do you say?"

Their lips were barely apart, Madison could feel her breath on her face, It digusted her. Staring into anxious green eyes, the word no was on the tip of her tongue. But then she continued to hear the video, Ashley openly stated more than once that her and Spencer were a couple. Big news like that would result in a pretty paycheck, allowing her to shower her daughter with new things. Things she couldn't afford now. That sealed the deal for her. Her daughter meant everything to her, she would do anything to make her happy.

Anything.

Hesitating, Madison closed the distance between them and placed a nervous kiss on her lips. Her eyes snapped shut and she wished she where somewhere else. She felt dirty agreeing to sleep with Samantha, like the cheap whores she saw earlier. The kiss ended, it was short but gave the blonde a clear answer. Their eyes locked once more, Samantha's filled with excitement, Madison's filled with dread. "Shall we continue this in the bedroom?"

Madison nodded numbly, standing, she followed Samantha into her bedroom.

----------

It was dead quiet when Rachael stepped into the RV. They were at the concert venue and Pops wanted everyone inside preparing for the show. Spencer was the first person Rachael came across. She sat in the booth, head resting against the window, eyes closed, it was obvious she was sleeping. The assistant quickly closed the distance between them and laid a gentle hand on her arm, waking her. Gray eyes opened and Spencer quickly jerked away from the window. "Pops wants everyone inside." She said softly to the incoherent teen.

Spencer gradually relaxed, stretched, and then met her gaze. "Where are we?"

"At the venue. We're not getting hotel rooms since we're leaving after the show."

Spencer nodded and slid out of the booth. "Do you want me to get Ashley?"

Rachael shook her head, smiling. "I can handle her." Spencer looked uncomfortable. "I've been waking Ashley for over a year now, I'm experienced." She noticed how tired Spencer looked. "You can go inside and take another nap, or there is food everywhere, get you something to eat. I'll worry about everyone else."

Spencer hesitated, but then easily agreed. She didn't want Rachael to see the damage Ashley caused in their room. But the determination in Rachael's eyes told her she didn't have a choice. "I'll see you later." She said reluctantly, leaving Rachael to do her job. She was still tired and decided to find her dressing room and something to sleep on.

Rachael continued down the bus, intent on waking everyone else. Clay was already awake when she reached him. He was lying in bed watching a DVD. She told him to see Pops and he immediately got up. Glen was more difficult to wake. He lied snoring his lungs out. It took some work to wake him, which was expected. Out of everyone, he was the hardest to wake. Glen's eyes shot open, he looked groggily at Rachael. "Where are we?" He yawned.

"The venue. Pops wants everyone up."

Glen nodded and got out of the bunk. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clay exit the bus. "Who's left on the bus?" He asked curiously, looking into Rachael's eyes.

"Ashley."

Glen looked at the back door. "If you don't mind, I want to talk to her alone."

Rachael didn't argue, "That's fine." She said easily, turning and exiting the bus.

Alone, Glen moved to the back of the bus and stopped at the door. What could he say to Ashley? He was angry at her, but didn't want to make things worse between them. If anything, he wanted to fix things with the troubled rock star. He hated his feelings towards her, especially after knowing her for so long, it hurt to hate Ashley. Smiling, he thought back to when she was 13, she was smart for her age and very to herself. Not bothering anyone, she hardly caused any trouble and was overall a good kid. He grabbed the doorknob and turned his hand, opening the door.

The first thing he noticed was the smell of smoke, his eyes immediately landed on the rock star and the smile slid off his face. He was crudely reminded of reality; Ashley was no longer a 13 year old, her good kid persona died along time ago. On the bed sat the 17 year old, the walls and everything else around her damaged by her own hands. She sat on the bed with her back against the headboard, cigarette hanging loosely from her lips. Her eyes stared into space and her face was vacant, free of any emotion. She no longer wore Spencer's clothes. She had changed into her own jeans and t shirt. There was a vodka bottle nestled between her legs. Glen examined it closely and realized it hadn't been open. "We have to get going." He spoke calmly to the dazed rock star, not in the mood to be mean.

Ashley looked up at him, surprised to see him standing at the doorway. Her ears had failed to hear the door open and her arm had failed to feel the hot Ash of her cigarette burn her skin. She looked down at it, her eyes expressing the surprise she felt. Where did I go? She wondered while bringing her hand up to her lips. She took the cigarette and quickly extinguished it. She stared at it a long moment, wondering when she lit it. She then looked down at herself, her clothes were different, when did she change? She closed her eyes and began rubbing her temples, she had a terrible headache and her thoughts only made things worse. Everything seemed so messed up and she was confused. She didn't remember waking up- why was she awake?

Glen immediately got on the bed and moved next to her. She looked sick and disoriented, he didn't know if she was high or not, but if she was high he wanted to make sure she wasn't overdosing on anything. "Are you okay Ashley?"

Ashley opened her eyes and wondered when he got on the bed. She didn't feel the mattress shift. "I'm fine." She lied moving her hands from her head to her lap. She sat staring into blue eyes. "Where are we again?"

"We're at our next show. Pops wants us…" His voice faded into nothing when he noticed Ashley's arm. The cuts that stained her skin were still a violent red, it made him angry. "What are these?" He grasped her wrist and turned her arm over, inspecting the cuts. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He looked back into her eyes, wanting answers. "How come I haven't seen these before?"

The rock star shrugged, "I've been wearing hoodies, bracelets, arm bands-" She stopped talking when Glen got off the bed, staring angrily into her eyes.

"If the media got a shot of those- who knows what it'll do to the band's reputation."

Ashley's tanned body instantly stiffened as she stared incredulously at him, and when the anger was too much, she stood up, glaring menacingly into brown eyes. "Right, what the fuck was I thinking, risking the band's reputation?" She laughed bitterly, "It's not like what I'm feeling matters, you just fucking care about this band's reputation, God I fucking hate you Dad…" She trailed off when the words registered in her mind. She blinked several times and felt sick when she realized it was Glen she was talking to, not Pops. "I-I'm sorry." She breathed uneasily, her headache worst now than ever. "The media won't find out about them, I won't cut anymore, I'm sorry."

Glen stared fearfully at her, there was something wrong with her. So very wrong with her."Are you high?" He asked confusedly, "Drunk, tired, sick- Ashley what's wrong with you?"

Brown eyes stayed glued to the spot in the corner. She remembered being in Spencer's arms, how warm she felt, how good it felt to be loved by someone, to have someone there for her every time she needed comfort, she missed the feeling. She wondered what the blonde was doing now. The last thing she remembered was feeling her lips on her face-

"Ashley."

The rock star's head snapped up and met puzzled blue eyes. "Huh?"

"What is wrong with you?" Glen asked again, fear gripping onto his chest. Ashley had never been so out of it before, it was like she had ADD and couldn't concentrate on anything. If she wasn't looking directly into his eyes, she was staring into space, her mind on a different planet.

"I'm fine." She answered with her own confusion. What was he worried about? She wasn't doing anything wrong, just standing. Glen's expression didn't change, she felt paranoid, she wondered if there was something on her face. She brought her hand up and felt around, everything seemed in place. "There's nothing wrong with me."

Glen eyed the vodka bottle on the bed. Giving into his curiosity, he walked over to the bed and grabbed it. The bottle had never been opened, he looked at Ashley, she stared at the bottle almost obsessively. "You didn't drink any of this." He continued to stare at Ashley. "But you wanted to."

Ashley nodded, remembering the bugs, they were all over her and had disturbed her sleep. She had jumped out of bed and removed her clothing, feeling tiny teeth gnaw at her skin. Surprisingly, the feeling went away when she was naked, standing in the middle of the room, she felt cold and found new clothes to put on. She stared at the bed for over 20 minutes, questioning its security. She didn't see anything, but she knew they could come back at any second. She had grabbed the vodka bottle, intent on getting too drunk to feel them, but soon realized her hands were too slippery to open it. She settled with a cigarette. "I did want to," She found herself saying. "I still want to, but I can't open it."

Glen was surprised by her honesty, he looked down at the bottle in his hand, confirming it was unopened, and then back at Ashley. Her brown eyes were anxious, he realized she wanted him to open it for her. He mentally told himself 'no', she was fucked up enough from something else. Alcohol was the last thing she needed. "Pops is waiting for us, we have to go." He didn't wait for Ashley to answer. He just turned and left with the vodka bottle.

Ashley sighed, looking forward to the bitter liquid, but quickly got over it and slipped on her vans.

----------

Spencer stared at her reflection, satisfied with her hair and makeup. It still made her uncomfortable having strangers touch her face and fix her hair, she felt guilty sometimes. They worked really hard to make her look good, insisting that it was no problem, but that didn't stop Spencer from thanking them a million times.

AJ was sitting on a chair watching her with amusement. Spencer had allowed him to hang around her, to his enjoyment, and the blonde was proving to be very fun to watch. She was kind and naturally sweet, it was refreshing. "Are you sure you're in love with Ashley?" He questioned once the hair and makeup people left the dressing room.

Spencer looked away from the mirror and met his gaze. "Very much so." She smiled and then laughed when he scratched his head like a 5 year old. "Is there a reason for the question?"

The bus driver stood and stretched. "You guys are just so different." He pointed to the chair she previously sat on. "Last time I watched Ashley in that chair, getting her hair and makeup done, she was a total bitch to the professionals and never thanked them for the job they did." He paused. "That's how she is with everyone who works hard to make her life easy and pleasurable. And then there's Pops, she could careless about his health. I…I just don't see how you put up with her."

Spencer was so sick of the question, it was a hard one to answer since no one understood her lover, she hesitated before answering. "I just love her." She said simply, wishing the words were stronger, conveying the intensity of the love she had for Ashley. The rock star was everything to her, since day one she was drawn to her like a moth to a flame, she loved her to death. "What about you AJ? Do you have a special someone?" She asked the first thing that came to mind, just wanting to change the subject.

"Not really. I'm too busy trying to get an acting career going- and then there's driving everywhere." He shrugged, smiling at her. "It'll happen when it happens."

There was a knock at the door, followed by Rachael. "You're needed to sound check." She said to Spencer.

AJ held his arm out to her. "I'll walk you there."

Spencer smiled and took the offered arm.

----------

The hallway full of dressing rooms was packed; people were running all over the place preparing for the show. Ashley stared at everyone with amusement, especially the hair and makeup people. They talked non stop while walking toward their next clients. Four other bands were playing with them, Ashley knew things were going to be more hectic than usual. It didn't bother her, she was used to hectic. Finding Spencer was her main concern.

"Ashley!"

The rock star stopped when the familiar voice filled her senses. Smiling, she turned around and greeted Mike with a hug. "What's with you?" He asked pulling back. It seemed as though she was looking for something when he first saw her. Then It hit him. "Follow me for a second." He took her hand and walked them to the nearest room. He closed the door and faced her. "I got something for you." He pulled out a small clear packet. "I was going to try some later, but it looks like you can use it more than me. It's Oxycontin."

Ashley accepted the drug and stared at the crushed white powder. Her hand shook from the excitement she felt, visions of her on her knees snorting the white powder came to mind. She unconsciously licked her lips, the urge to refuse the drug was starting to wither away, replaced with the need to take it.

Both musicians moved away from the door when the handle rattled. Ashley quickly hid the drug in her back pocket, eyeing the blonde who stepped into the room, she had no idea who the woman was, but from the way she dressed, it was obvious she was a whore.

"I thought I saw you walk in here." She giggled while strolling over to a grinning Mike. Reaching the drummer, she wrapped her arms around him and met Ashley's gaze. "I know you." She giggled again, eyeing the rock star, she noticed the discomfort on her face and said, " Mikey here has told me some stories about you...I know your wild."

Ashley looked at Mike, he was grinning from ear to ear. She hated how nothing in her life was private, especially her sex life. "Who is this?" Her eyes flickered back over to the blonde. The look on her face told Ashley more than she wanted to hear. The urge to tell them both to leave was strong. It annoyed her that a total stranger knew something about her.

"Ashley this is Cookie." Both blondes laughed at this, Ashley couldn't even smile at the overused name. Her father had plenty of 'cookies' 'kitties' and 'buttercups' hanging around him when she was younger. She hated them all. "She'll be hanging around for awhile." An idea came to him and he started laughing. "Oh Ashley we can have so much fun with her."

The rock star took a step back when he stepped forward, it was the girl she withdrawing from, she was more than willing to throw herself at her, like so many other girls. Ashley stopped moving and just stared at her. She was no different from her past fucks, just some girl wanting to sleep with a rock star, maybe get lucky and date her for awhile, enjoying the benefits of loving someone rich. The smile that lined Ashley's lips was anything but pleasant. "You wanna have some fun?" Her eyes never left the brown ones in front of her. The blonde nodded and began walking to her. Ashley stood still, allowing her hands to run up her abdomen, breasts, and finally over her shoulders. "You want me to fuck you?"

The blonde eagerly nodded wrapping her arms around a tanned neck, she moved forward for a kiss and was surprised when Ashley jerked back. "I'm sorry." The rock star said calmly, watching the blonde's face fall. "The best I can do is an autograph, maybe a picture." She gently removed the arms off her body and stepped away from the blonde. Mike stood staring strangely at her.

"I'm finished with this." She said simply. "Have fun without me." She winked at Mike and then left the room.

----------

Ashley stepped out of the room and closed the door. She didn't have a second to breathe before a hand reached out and grasped her wrist. "You're needed for sound check." Ashley didn't know the man who grabbed her and angrily pulled her hand back. "Get going." He demanded before talking into his headset.

The rock star quickly found her way to the stage. Her eyes landed on the large empty space that covered the room. She knew hundreds of people would soon occupy the floor, the thought didn't intimidate her, she loved playing for big crowds. The rush was amazing, high or sober.

A woman's laugh filled her ears. Ashley smiled and turned her head. Spencer stood talking with AJ, the bus driver sat on a speaker talking softly to the blonde. Ashley frowned, not liking the scene. She wasn't used to feeling jealous and the emotion disturbed her. It also bothered her that the man talking to her girlfriend was one of the people she hated the most.

Ashley zipped up her hoodie and walked over to the two. Spencer immediately greeted her with a smile, she returned it but it was short lived, dying once she got caught sight of AJ. He looked better, having shaved and dressed up, it didn't relieve Ashley in anyway.

"Ah Ashley you finally decided to join the fun." He hopped off the speaker and stood casually in front of her. "How've you been?" He asked, not really caring. Ashley was dead to him. He couldn't love someone who hated Pops.

Ashley saw right through his sweet voice and kind eyes. She knew he was only showing off in front of Spencer. "Fine." She answered curtly wishing he'd disappear.

AJ continued staring at her, sighing when he realized she was finished talking. "Well I'm glad to hear it, I'm fine by the way. Thanks for asking."

The sarcasm was clearly noticeable. It aggravated the rock star." Why would ask how you are?" She asked with a furrowed brow. "I could

careless about you. You could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a fuck."

Spencer snapped her head over in her direction. Ashley's face was dead serious, she meant every word. "Ashley!" She chastised shocked, not

liking the look in her lover's eyes. Hate filled her brown orbs. Spencer didn't understand why she hated her family so much. She thought back to AJ's speech in the hotel room. It sounded like he wanted the family to get along. Why didn't Ashley feel the same?

"No, it's alright." AJ said looking at Spencer. Their eyes met and he flashed her a smile. "She's just being honest, I'm used to it." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. The act surprised both Spencer and Ashley. "Have fun." He looked at Ashley. "You should smile more often." He patted her cheek and then walked off.

The kiss was too long to be casual, it bothered Ashley. She knew AJ wanted Spencer and looked at the blonde. Did she want him to? The thought made her taunt, her eyes slightly narrowed. The wave of jealousy that swept through her was terrible, it was all she could feel.

"That wasn't very nice Ashley." She met her gaze and was momentarily stunned by the unreadable expression on her lover's face. "He was just being nice." She added, wanting desperately to understand Ashley's bitterness. Was it the addiction? Was she grumpy? The blonde just wanted to understand.

Ashley looked away, the blonde's words did nothing to ease her mind. Why did she care so much about her cousin? "I hate him and I'll never be nice to him. Get used to it."

The bitterness in her tone further confused Spencer. She stared at Ashley and noticed the far away look in her eyes. What was she thinking? "Ashley, what's wrong?" The urge to touch her lover was strong, she looked so angry and frustrated, Spencer just wanted to comfort her. Which wasn't easy in a populated room. People were starting to stare; they were making a scene.

Ashley snapped out of her thoughts and focused on Spencer. She wondered if the concern look in Spencer's eyes was for her or AJ. "Are you with the right Davies, Spencer?" She spat and then stalked away from the blonde. Her presence made her sick, she needed to get away. Her thoughts strayed back to her pocket and what lied inside, it'd be so easy to sneak off and snort it all, leaving her numb. But then her gaze landed on the red guitar leaning against its stand. She walked over to it and put it on, not missing a beat, she grabbed a pick and started playing, stopping every now and then to tune.

Spencer stared at her feeling her own anger. The words replayed in her mind and for a second, she wondered the same thing. And then another second past and her thoughts strayed away from AJ and back on Ashley. She loved Ashley too much to even think about another person. The thought of being without the rock star was unbearable. In that moment, she stared down at her bass guitar and realized she needed Ashley as much as Ashley needed her. Closing her eyes, she decided to test the waters and picture her life without the rock star. When she opened them again, she looked at the rock star and realized she'd be empty without Ashley Camryn Davies.

----------

Ashley took off her guitar and headed backstage once sound check was over. She didn't want to see Spencer yet, her mind was all over the place, collecting her thoughts was becoming a difficult task and she felt angry. Her anger revolved around herself. She felt unstable in her own skin, one minute she was okay - the next - she hated the world. She couldn't see Spencer feeling so unstable, especially after snapping at her. The thought made her fists clench. Everything seemed a mess in her life. Spencer, Kyla, Brenda, Pops- everything was taking its toll on her.

She found the dressing room she was assigned to and collapsed on a near by chair. There was a table in the room and she stared at it, remembering the oxycotin. Her eyes drifted away and she imagined herself walking to it, pouring the oxycotin and snorting it all. The thought made her itch, she shifted in her chair and shook her head. "Stop it." She told herself, the thought being more than torturous. She wished her mind would just stop and stay blank forever. Giving her the peace she needed.

The more she thought about taking the oxycotin, the more she wanted it to do it. She always got what she wanted, especially when it came to drugs. Why should this be any different? She asked herself. Her tanned body rose from the seat and she walked over to the table, digging in her back pocket. She would buy peace, everything had a price. Unfortunately, drugs were the price for peace. She could afford it. Her mentality drove her to opening the packet and pouring its white contents onto the table.

She straightened up and eagerly looked around for something to cut the lines. Her eyes landed on a dresser, she rushed over to it and opened the top dresser, throwing things out of it, she searched eagerly for a razor blade or something similar. A razor blade.

The word floated through her mind and she automatically looked at her arm. Her black sleeve covered the cuts, she pulled it up and stared at the red marks. Shame filled her again and she angrily pulled the top drawer out of the dresser and threw it across the room, not satisfied when it fell to the floor.

It wasn't enough, she moved to the vanity table and swiped all of its contents onto the floor, anger pulsated through her body, she wanted to destroy everything in the room. She looked up into the mirror and met Spencer's gray eyes. They watched her with fear. Ashley's hard breathing filled the room, "Get the fuck out!" She screamed needing to be alone. Everything in the room had to go, it all sickened her. She looked into the mirror and stared at the one thing that sickened her the most. Without a thought, she brought her hand up and shattered the mirror, her eyes closing as the glass hit her face. Spencer moved across the room in record speed, Ashley felt a hand on her body and violently moved away, staring bullets at her. "I told you to fucking leave." She hissed with eyes of a stranger. "You don't understand shit." She seethed, putting distance between them. Anger radiated off her in waves and her eyes desperately searched for something to destroy.

Spencer touched her again, trying to calm her down, and was surprised when her hand was captured in a painful grasp. Her eyes met her lover's and what she saw scared her. Unreadable brown eyes stared into hers, a sadistic smirk over her lips. "You want me that bad?" She asked taking her other hand. "I'll be more than happy to fuck you." She growled, pushing Spencer against the wall, she roughly held her arms and stared into her eyes. Their faces were inches away, Spencer could feel her breath on her face as she stared into wild brown eyes. She tried freeing her hands, but Ashley took them and pinned them up on the wall above her.

The small distance between them was closed and Ashley brushed her lips against Spencer's. The blonde didn't move her head, or even fight the rock star, to her surprise, she found herself wanting the rock star, needing the rock star. "I love you Ashley." She said against her lips, feeling Ashley's body rub up against hers in pleasurable ways. It was then that Ashley pulled back. So many emotions ran across her brown eyes, her face was full of confusion and fear. She opened her mouth to speak, but Spencer closed it with her lips. She kissed the rock star and felt her hands being freed, moaning when the rock star tore open her shirt, the buttons hitting the floor loudly as tanned hands roamed over her skin, slipping underneath her bra and stroking her breasts. It was madness, one minute Spencer feared Ashley, the next she was moaning her name for more.

Realization struck and she moved her head to the side, thinking it would stop Ashley, she was wrong. The rock star's lips moved to her neck, sucking down her skin. "Ashley….Baby we have to stop." She spoke huskily from the effects of Ashley's hands and lips. Her body felt wonderful, but her mind knew it was all wrong. "Ashley, stop I can't do this with you now, not in here…"

Ashley stopped and moved up, placing her head against the wall, she breathed heavily with her eyes closed. The side of her face touched Spencer's. The blonde felt her heavy breathing against her neck and moved her hand up, caressing damp auburn locks.

"I'm scared." She breathed melting into the blonde's caress. "I can't think clearly, I-I have no control over my emotions and everything pisses me off." She found herself fighting back tears for the millionth time. She was so tired of crying. "And I can't stop fucking crying. Everything hurts Spencer and all I want to do is stop the pain but I can't because I…I don't want to disappoint you or Kyla. It's just sitting there on the table waiting for me to snort it, but I can't fucking do it and it's driving me insane."

Spencer looked at the table and noticed the drugs. She had missed the drugs when she first walked in, being too distracted by Ashley, and now understood her lover's behavior. She ran her free hand up and down the rock star's back, soothing tense muscles. "Things will get easier Ashley." Hearing her lover whimper, she turned her head and kissed her temple. "I promise sweetheart." She kissed her again. "I'm so proud of you Ashley. So proud Baby."

Ashley buried her face in her neck and heard the words like a soft caress. It eased her mind, making the shame and guilt she felt more bearable.

Spencer continued caressing the rock star, talking softly to her while placing light kisses on the top of her head. Ashley eventually relaxed and pulled away. Spencer reached out and caressed her face. "Feel better?"

Ashley nodded, still feeling like shit, but the urge to tear the place down was weak. Replaced with the need to sleep. "I'm really tired…" She confessed just wanting to sleep.

Spencer eyed the couch in the room and wished it were more comfortable. "Okay sweetheart." She leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Grabbing her hand, she led them to the couch and watched Ashley lie down. She kneeled down and began stroking her hair. "I love you Ashley." She kissed her lips softly. "Forever Baby."

----------

Teeth clenched, eyes closed, jaw taunt, Ashley played the last solo for the night; her hands moving expertly across the strings, sending jolts of pain up her arms. The pain was unbearable, but she played anyway. Her brown eyes opened and she stared into the crowd, they paid to see her play, she was their entertainer, she was going to give them one hell of a show. Moving across the stage, she stepped onto a speaker and jumped off into the crowd, landing on her back, she continued playing on the crowd. She felt everything from nails to teeth on her skin, but never stopped playing.

Spencer watched her girlfriend float over the sea of people, her heart leapt in her throat when she took her guitar off and sunk into the crowd, becoming one of the hundreds of screaming kids. Spencer looked over at the rest of the band. They all had shocked expressions of their faces. The security guards were freaking out, not knowing what to do. The large group of people huddled around the middle of the crowd told them where Ashley was. It was only a matter of finding her and bringing her back safely to the stage.

Ashley allowed the crowd to paw at her, allowing their hands to grasp at her, some tearing her clothes off, some just wanting to feel her skin. Ashley turned her head and locked eyes with a girl. The girl grabbed the back of her head and brought her down for a kiss, forcing her tongue into the rock star's mouth. Ashley kissed her back, wanting to rock her world, and then pulled away with the barest hint of a smile. She loved the attention, it made her forget about everything else. Feeling everything from pain to pleasure, she forgot about Kyla, her mother, cocaine and Pops, nothing mattered, just the nails tearing away at her dysfunctional body.

The group of people grew larger, more bodies pushed into her, she felt light headed, her lungs couldn't expand, something was pressing up against her, or someone, several pairs of eyes stared into her face, screaming, crying, and loving her. Ashley's eyes started to droop, she couldn't breathe, she kept sinking into the crowd, into the people that loved her. They were killing her. The room was so dark, she couldn't see anything, she knew she was drowning, she couldn't breathe, the feeling was incredible, better than any drug. She finally felt peace, no past or present memories plagued her. She felt normal for the first time in her life.

And then the feeling was gone. Her eyes snapped open before they could close, they were wide as rough hands grabbed her upper arms and placed a mask over her face. She soon realized it was an oxygen mask and the rough hands belonged to security. Somewhat disoriented, she was led out of the crowd and staggered back stage with Roscoe's help.

Her shirt was no longer a shirt. Most of it was torn off and hardly covered anything. Ashley didn't wait for Roscoe to leave before grabbing what used to be the hem of her shirt and taking it off. Her skin wasn't as bad as she thought it'd be. There was no blood, just scratch marks everywhere. They'd fade, she mused in her mind. She heard the door close and realized she was alone. She reached up and removed what was left of her bra.

She then noticed the room had been fixed. She smiled as she stared at everything. It was like she hadn't done a thing to it. There was a new vanity table with a new mirror and not a spec of glass anywhere. Ashley sat on the couch and placed her hands on her warm belly. She was tired, which was starting to piss her off. All she wanted to do was sleep all the time. She then remembered why she valued cocaine so much. It kept her up and active, it was like a layer of energy sprawled over her exhaustion. She missed it.

Feeling her eyes start to droop, Ashley immediately stood up. She was so sick of sleeping. Her dreams were never good and she always woke up confused. The door opened and she turned her head. Spencer stood staring angrily into her eyes. Ashley was frozen under her gaze, wondering what she did so wrong. She had never seen her girlfriend look so angry. "Spen-" The blonde reached her, standing face to face, Spencer's anger visibly pooled in her gray eyes. It left her speechless.

"How could you?!" The blonde demanded bringing her hands up and pushing the rock star back. "God Ashley don't you ever think about anything?!" She seethed pushing her repeatedly with each word. Ashley soon found herself pressed up against the wall. She shivered as the cool paint came into contact with her warm skin. Spencer seemed lost in her anger, a haze had come over her, the urge to do more than just push the rock star was overwhelming. It frightened her.

Stepping away from the rock star, Spencer brought her hands up to her face in shock. "Oh god." She breathed and then turned away.

Ashley watched her head for the door. "Spencer!" She called out going after her. She was still reeling from the blonde's words and actions, but

that didn't stop her from going after her. "Stop!" She watched Spencer open the door and step out of the room. She quickly followed and did the same. "Spencer." She grabbed her arm trying to stop her. "I want to talk about this."

Everyone within earshot stopped to stare at them.

Spencer turned with every intention to tell the rock star to leave, but then saw the state she was in. The rock star stood wearing a gold chain across her neck, black jeans with a white belt and checkered vans. The rest of her was bare. "For Christ's sake Ashley." She could feel everyone's eyes on them. "Everyone can see you."

"They don't matter." Ashley's eyes pleaded for her to listen. "Please talk to me."

Spencer didn't answer, she just grabbed Ashley and pulled her into the room. "You're so fucking insane." She vented staring bullets into brown eyes. "Ashley you could have at least put on a shirt."

"That would have taken too long. You would have been gone by the time I finished." She argued.

Closing her gray eyes, Spencer sighed and leaned against the door. "Ashley I'm so tired of your wild actions. You're too unpredictable and when things get bad you wreck shit." Her voice shook as she continued venting. Everything felt so heavy on her shoulders. She was stressed. "I don't know how to handle you-" The warm hands on her upper arms stopped her from speaking. She opened her eyes and realized how close Ashley was to her.

The rock star leaned forward and kissed her forehead while attempting to wrap her arms around her. Spencer resisted and tried to move away. "Let me hold you." Ashley whispered, gently pulling her into her arms. Hearing the fear in her lover's voice, Spencer gave in and wrapped her arms around a slender waist, resting her head on her chest, she felt Ashley's hands soothingly run over her hair and back. "You're driving me crazy." She mumbled against her skin. "Do you know what it's like watching your love nearly drown in a sea of people? How could you put me through that?" She demanded with steady tears running down her face. "You could have died Ashley. God, what were you thinking?"

Ashley was quiet for a moment, just thinking. She felt horrible for worrying Spencer. It was obvious she scared the blonde, which blew her mind. She wasn't used to people caring about her. It was overwhelming knowing how intense Spencer's care for her ran. She wasn't used to it all. "I'm sorry. I haven't been thinking straight all day." She confessed quietly. "My mind has been all over the place and I just wanted to lose myself in something." She shook her head sadly and then kissed Spencer's hair. "I won't do it again. I promise." Spencer just nodded and burrowed deeper into her lover. They stood holding each other in the silence, both lost in their own thoughts. It didn't last long. After 10 minutes, Ashley's phone ruined the serene setting.

Spencer reluctantly released her lover and watched Ashley grab her cell phone and flip it open. It had beeped instead of rung. Spencer assumed Ashley had a new text message. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed her reflection. Spencer turned her head and met her gaze In the mirror. She was shocked to see it in one piece, and then she looked at the floor and it was spotless. "How did-"

"All it took was two checks." Ashley's eyes never left her cell phone. "Our room should look good as new too." She added casually.

Ashley's words were more than disturbing. Spencer found herself staring strangely at her girlfriend. She wondered how often Ashley threw fits and destroyed rooms. "Ashley you can't keep destroying things when you're angry." She walked over to her girlfriend. "It doesn't make it right even if you do have the money to fix everything afterwards."

Ashley looked at her In surprise. Being told right from wrong was also a foreign experience. To her everything she did was right. It felt weird being told she was wrong. She obviously needed new methods on handling things. She didn't want to risk losing Spencer. "I'm sorry." She leaned forward and kissed the blonde lightly. "I'll do better, I promise." Ashley closed her phone and slipped it back in her pocket. The small message was an invite to a party, which was the last thing she wanted to think about.

Looking up, Ashley met questioning gray eyes. She wondered if her aggravation was expressed on her face. "I was invited to a party." She yawned and tried to keep talking but was interrupted by another yawn. "Fuck," She swore her frustration and hated how tired she felt.

"Ashley." Spencer soothed placing her hands on her lover's bare waist. The warm skin felt good under her hands, Spencer fought back the urge to explore more of her lover's warm body. Ashley looked really tired, that was the last thing she needed. "We're almost finished for tonight." She kissed her cheek. "You'll be in bed soon."

Ashley groaned and moved forward into Spencer's arms, burying her head in her shoulder, she fought back another yawn. "This sucks so bad." She mumbled against the material of her shirt. "I feel so damn drowsy." She murmured, feeling her girlfriend caress her warm back, Ashley snuggled deeper against the blonde as her eye lids began to sink.

Spencer stood caressing the rock star, lost in her own mind. She wondered how long things were going to be rough. She wasn't naïve, she knew a bit about withdrawal, she knew Ashley was experiencing the worst of her addiction. The rock star would most likely be moody, antsy, sleepy, and overall complicated. The more she thought about it, the more she caressed her lover, messaging and stroking her skin lovingly. She started thinking about her lover's drug craving. She had seen a bit of that already. Spencer observed that Ashley got very angry and desperate when she wanted drugs. That would probably be the hardest to deal with. Her anger and desperation made her unpredictable. Spencer sighed and held Ashley tighter. She wondered how Ashley got the cocaine she threw away earlier. "Ashley," She called her name softly, intent on asking her girlfriend. Ashley's eyes snapped open and she abruptly picked her head up. The grogginess on her face told the blonde she had been sleeping. "Oh honey," she breathed. "You really are tired."

Ashley shook her head. "I'm fine." She yawned not sounding too convincing. She knew they still had a meet and greet to do and dreaded it. The only thing she wanted to do was find a bed, cuddle with Spencer, and sleep. She had to snort at the ridiculous thought. Her life was far too complicated for such simple things. "I think I should find a shirt." She mumbled hearing voices outside the room. "We'll have to leave soon."

Spencer nodded and kissed her again, her lips landing on a smooth chin. "I love you, Ashley." She spoke softly while wrapping her arms around her lover and burying her face in a smooth neck. Ashley easily returned the hug, kissing the top of a blonde crown, she let her nose enjoy the sweet golden locks. "I love you too."

----------

The cool water felt good on her hands as Spencer washed them. After leaving the dressing room, she had left Ashley to use the restroom. Now, looking into the mirror, she realized how bad her make-up had gotten. Her mascara was smeared over her cheeks, a trail of black ink falling to her jaw. Ashley had mentioned it before they left the room, Spencer kissed her and told her she'd meet up with her later. The blonde didn't feel like redoing her makeup. She was drained emotionally and physically. Cupping a hand full of water, she washed her face repeatedly until the wakeup was all gone. It took her a total of ten minutes to wash all the cosmetics off. Spencer smiled as her mother's voice filled her mind. She'd always tell her she was too pretty for makeup. That's why she wasn't allowed to wear it until she was 16. Her mother still sighed and made annoying remarks about her makeup to this day. Spencer took it as a compliment.

Exiting the bathroom, the blonde walked stealthy to the meet and greet table. She was usually excited heading toward the meet and greet table, but today was different. The day's events were exhausting and she felt it all catch up with her, her eyes felt heavier and the urge to sleep was strong. It was going to be a long night, but she wasn't complaining. Despite everything, she would never complain. She was grateful for everything in her life, good or bad, she was truly happy.

"Hey Spencer."

Snapped out of her thoughts by a deep voice, Spencer turned her head and locked eyes with Mike. His face was full of facial hair, it seemed as though he gave up on shaving and the skin around his eyes were black, an obvious sign of no sleep. Spencer then looked down at his own bare torso and noticed how thin he'd gotten. "Does that say Ashley?" She questioned staring at the large tattoo on his abs. Two crows held a banner with her girlfriend's name written across it, Spencer found it unsettling and plain weird. She had no idea how close Ashley and Mike were. She prayed their seemingly deep friendship was shallow and destructible, but highly doubted it, especially with Ashley's name tattooed on his body. They were obviously good friends, which wasn't good.

A full smile spread over the drummer's lips. He followed Spencer's eyes to his tattoo and began laughing, the memory replaying in his mind. "Shit, Ashley's my buddy of course that's her name." It was apparent the drummer was high on something. "This shit hurt like hell but that bitch was worth all the pain. Man, me and Ash have been through so much shit." He held out a zip lock bag to Spencer. White powder filled the clear plastic. "I gave her some Oxy earlier, but she likes coke better. I got her some."

Spencer continued staring at the drummer, trying hard to keep her composure, which wasn't easy as she stared into the eyes of Ashley's biggest problem. Her friends. They played a big part in her addiction, providing the poison that plagued her lover's mind and body. "Ashley doesn't want that." She answered firmly meeting confused blue eyes.

Mike scratched the back of his dirty blonde head. He never liked Spencer. He saw her as a stuck up bitch who didn't know how to have fun. "Spencer I would give it to her myself but I'm taking off. Please just give this to her." He held it out more insistently, his eyes boring into gray.

"I'm not giving that to her Mike. Just forget it. Ashley can go a night without it." She pushed his hand away curtly, not liking the sneer he gave her.

"Fuck Spencer." He hissed holding the cocaine out to the blonde a final time. "Give it to her Spencer. I'm not fucking around with you you stupid bitch."

The anger she had tried so hard to compress was released. Spencer didn't have time to think, on instinct she reached out, took the zip lock bag, opened it and poured its white contents all over the drummer's shoes. "Fuck you Mike." She released the empty bag and stalked off, leaving a furious drummer behind.

----------

"Thank you, Oh my God. You are so incredible. I just love you so much."

Ashley smiled and said 'thank you' for the thousandth time that hour. She sat comfortably taking pictures, signing CD's, T-shirts and magazines.

Her hand was screaming in protest at all the writing she was doing, but she learned to ignore the pain. The smile and joy she brought to her fans faces made the pain bearable. But she still had a couple of problems. Everyone she came across said something along the lines of 'I love you' 'You're amazing 'I want to be you' – it was just uncomfortable. She should have been use to the praises, but she wasn't. It had been so long since she sat at a meet and greet sober. Getting used to them was becoming difficult. She hated having to smile and soak up loving words she didn't deserve.

"I need a cigarette." She murmured to herself, smiling up at another teenager.

"I just want to say thank you for that kiss. It made my year!"

Ashley immediately tensed, but kept smiling. "No problem." She said coolly, just wanting the teenage girl to leave. She could feel Spencer's eyes boring into her skin. The feeling was terrible.

The red haired girl leaned over and cupped her hands over mouth, shielding her words from everyone else except Ashley. "I want to sleep with you." She whispered deviously, adding a wink at the end.

Ashley immediately shook her head. "I'm sorry. Can you please move along." She said quietly. "You're holding everyone else up."

The girl looked disappointed and angry. "Fine." She huffed stalking away from the table.

The rock star rubbed the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. She needed that cigarette now more than ever. Feeling a hand on her thigh, she turned her head. The blonde sat next to her, signing and making small talk with just about everyone she came across. When she was finished speaking with a teenage boy, she turned her head and met Ashley's gaze. The rock star leaned over and murmured into her ear. "I really don't want to be here." She pulled back and met gray eyes.

"We're almost done. Hang in there Baby." A light knee rub followed the quietly spoken words.

Ashley nodded and stared down at the magazine being shoved her way. Her stomach churned at the cover. It was an old issue, the rock star

assumed sometime in the late 80's or early 90's. It was a picture of her father and her 2 year old self. He sat in a chair with her on his lap; they both had matching smiles and brown eyes. "Where did you get this?" She asked looking up the older woman.

The woman nearing her 30's smiled at the rock star's shocked expression. "EBay. I paid 200 dollars for that baby. I've been a huge fan of your father's since forever and I love your music. That's my favorite picture of you guys." She chuckled. "You were the cutest little thing."

The rock star looked back down at the picture. She didn't remember doing it, and was seeing the picture for the first time in her life. Her hand nearly shook as she brought the black sharpie over the page. She signed her name a lot slower than usual, her eyes glued to her younger self. There was a smile on her face but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Ashley wondered if the picture was taken after her parent's divorce. Was she living on a tour bus then? Did she cry from being separated from her Mother? Did her mother cry from losing her child? The grip on the marker tightened as she continued thinking. Of course not. Why would her mother cry? Brenda didn't even want joint custody of her. "Here you go." She handed the lady back her magazine, her face free of emotion.

The lady thanked her and left. Ashley continued signing but couldn't smile anymore. The thoughts that revolved around her mother were depressing. She hated that she cried for her when she was younger, wishing Brenda would come one day and take her home. It never happened and one day she just stopped wishing it would. And then there were the phone calls. Raife made her call Brenda every Saturday when she was old enough to speak. She would always start off by saying Mommy and end the call with 'I love you.' And then she got older and bitter and 'Mommy' turned into 'Brenda' and 'I love you' was no longer in her vocabulary. The phone calls stopped when she was 10. She couldn't stand her mother, but still spoke to Kyla. She hated Brenda for along time. The rock star never understood why her mother never saved her from the lifestyle she never wanted. Why she never loved her…

"You are my Hero. My whole guitar life revolves around you."

Ashley looked up into another teen face and forced a smile. It was weak but passed more as tired than dejected. "Thank you." She looked down and signed the shirt with a silver sharpie. Another person came and she smiled at them too. The fake smiles were back, all she wanted to do was smoke a cigarette and it seemed the line was never ending. Ashley sighed and leaned back in her seat.

She was tired of signing autographs.

----------

Spencer closed Ashley's laptop and safely placed it on the floor. After leaving the venue, the band had gotten on the bus and started for Oklahoma City. Ashley and Spencer took a short shower and then retired to their room. There, Ashley got out her laptop and began playing games. She was more restless than anything and couldn't sleep. After 10 minutes of playing 'Crysis,' it was apparent Spencer was interested in the game by the way she watched and 'ooh and awed' at everything the rock star did. Smiling, Ashley gave her a brief summary of the game and then explained the controls. Spencer was hooked immediately. Both teens stayed up two hours playing the game. Spencer played the whole time; she sat on the middle of the bed with her legs crossed. Ashley watched her the whole time lying on her stomach. After playing for four hours, Spencer decided she was finished. "Ashley." She looked down at the rock star and realized she was dozing peacefully next to her.

Reaching out, she gently fingered her damp auburn hair. It wasn't the shower water that dampened her hair, Spencer easily concluded noticing the rest of her perspired body. Her smooth tanned face was turned her way; she looked relaxed but her body still perspired like crazy. Spencer knew it was the cocaine making its way out of her system. She continued stroking her lover's hair while thinking in the thick silence. The room looked better than ever, Spencer didn't know how Ashley did it, or how much she paid, but it was nicely done and looked professional. The blonde never really thought about Ashley's financial situation. It was obvious the rock star had money, hell, Ashley had everything, but it wasn't enough for her.

Ashley messed up her thoughts on the wealthy. She remembered being 8 and wishing for a million dollars, thinking it would make her the happiest little girl in the world. Ashley had a million dollars at 8, Spencer wondered if she was happy at all. What did her complicated lover wish for at age 8? She had everything already, right? Thinking of a young Ashley brought Spencer back to the meet and greet table. The two year old picture of her lover was simply adorable. Ashley was a very cute baby with a head full of hair, a complete opposite from her. Spencer was practically bald until age 3. The blonde was also a cute baby, but Spencer thought Ashley was much cuter.

Spencer got off the bed and walked up to the light switch. She flicked it off and then walked back to the bed. Quietly, she settled herself on her stomach along side her lover. For along time she lied staring into her face, caressing her skin, and talking softly to her. The words were mostly encouragements, fears and of course the love she felt for her rock star. Leaning forward, she hovered over Ashley and softly whispered near her ear, "I love you Baby." She placed a feather like kiss on her cheek and then retreated back to her pillow. Closing her eyes, her fingertips continued running over her hair, Spencer fell asleep not long after that, her hand unconsciously slipped from Ashley's body as her dreams invaded her mind.

----------

Groaning, Ashley opened her eyes and immediately sat up. She brought her hands up to her temples as the room began to spin. "Fuck." She rubbed her eyes and began looking around the room. Her gaze fell on the blonde sleeping soundly beside her. She didn't have time to admire her lover as a wave of nausea swept through her, "Oh God." She quickly got off the bed and staggered into the bathroom with her hand firmly against her lips. Collapsing on the cold tile, she embraced the toilet and emptied the contents of her stomach. The strain affected her sensitive nose and she began bleeding. "Kill me." She moaned settling back against the bathroom wall, her head tilted up to the ceiling. "Please God just kill me." She felt the blood run over her lips and winced. "I know you want to." She mumbled moving forward to the toilet paper, she ripped off several pieces and pressed them to her nose. Knowing she was finished vomiting, Ashley stood up, flushed the toilet and then walked out of the bathroom.

She took a seat in the booth and kept her head tilted upward. Anger was all she felt as she waited for the blood to stop. She was pissed off at everyone at that moment, especially herself. The bitch spoiled rock star was back and all she wanted to do was tear the room apart, destroy everything until she passed out from exhaustion. With a heavy sigh, she tried to get rid of the ridiculous thoughts. The problem was she felt restless and had all this energy from her frustration, she had to do something with it. Her fingers began drumming loudly on the table, the sound could be heard throughout the bus. She didn't care, the whole world could kiss her ass if they had a problem with it. Her drumming began to suffer due to the trembling of her hand. Beyond frustrated, Ashley balled her fist and angrily hit the table repeatedly, it hurt like hell but she didn't care. Pain was just another part of her torment.

The hands on her bare shoulders made her tense up. She fell asleep wearing a gray tank top and could feel her lover's warm hands rub her tense muscles gently. Brown eyes opened and Ashley stared up into Spencer's concerned face. Silently, the blonde leaned forward and kissed her forehead lovingly. Ashley relaxed a little and realized the moisture on her face, she was crying again. Why can't I stop fucking crying! She internally screamed. "I'm so sick of this shit." She choked back a sob as Spencer placed another kiss on her face and wrapped her arms around her. "I just want it to stop." She sniffled as Spencer held her tighter. "I wish I would have just drowned- God it felt so good to stop breathing."

Spencer pulled back and stared intently down into her eyes. Tears ran down her puffy brown orbs, Ashley looked miserable. "Don't talk like that Baby." She pleaded gently. "You'll get through this, okay?" Ashley closed her eyes as her bottom lip began to quiver, she hurt so bad everywhere, Spencer saw the pain and kissed her again. "You'll get through this Ashley." She whispered near her ear, "We'll get through this together Baby and then live happily on the beach house. We can spend all day under the warm sun, cuddling in the sand. Everything will be wonderful Ashley, you'll see. I'll make you happy, I promise you'll be happy…"

Ashley stared into space with confusion written all over her face. She continued hearing the murmured promises in her ear and it only furthered her bewilderment. The words made her feel warm and somewhat excited, she couldn't wait to get off the tour bus and live Spencer's promises. "You already make me happy, Spencer." Knowing the bleeding had stopped, she moved her hand down from her nose. Spencer pulled back and met her eyes."I… it's just starting to hit me how fucked up I am." Her voice was calm and quiet it trembled slightly as she spoke. "I wish we could have met under different circumstances Spencer. I don't deserve you." She reached up and began caressing her face. "I'll fuck us up."

Now it was Spencer's turn to be confused. She stared quietly into Ashley's serious eyes, they confirmed the rock star's words and her fears. "Why are you saying that Ashley?" The words she had heard from everyone else replayed in her mind. The 'Ashley will hurt you' 'Ashley will get bored and leave you' 'Ashley will find someone else to fuck'- she was hearing it all from Ashley herself and it made her angry. "Do you plan on getting high and fucking some groupie Ashley?" She hissed and then moved away from the rock star, hugging herself she leaned against the fridge and stared at the rock star, waiting for her to deny her last statement. She never did.

Ashley watched Spencer storm back into the bedroom and slam the door. The rock star rubbed her face with her hands and then slid out the booth. She went inside the bathroom and washed her face and teeth. The cold water felt good against her warm skin. Exiting the bathroom, she walked and entered the backroom, seeing Spencer's suitcase wide open on the bed, panic gripped tightly onto her chest as she unconsciously grabbed the blonde's wrist as she walked past her. "W-what are you doing?!" She stuttered losing all calmness and giving into the panic she felt. It seeped into her tone as well as her facial expression.

"Leaving." Spencer hissed angrily pulling her hand free from the rock star. She stalked back over to her suitcase and began putting her clothes away. "You're fucking with my head Ashley. One minute I love you and the next I just want to strangle you. I can't do this anymore."

Ashley walked over to her and grabbed the jeans she was folding, angrily throwing them aside, she met furious gray eyes. "You can't leave." She found herself saying firmly, her panic had turned into anger as she stared into Spencer's defiant face.

The blonde raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh really?" She asked sarcastically, "Watch me, Ashley. You're not the only one who can get away with doing whatever the fuck she wants." She snarled walking toward her discarded jeans.

Ashley stood speechless, the blonde's bitter words quickly made her realize she could leave. No amount of money would get Ashley what she wanted this time. Spencer could easily walk out on her. The thoughts ran through her mind and her breathing unconsciously quickened, she felt lightheaded and soon found herself on her knees gasping for air. Her eyes stayed glued to the floor as she felt an unsettling heaviness in her chest.

Spencer immediately collapsed next to her and cupped her face, forcing her to make eye contact. "Ashley stop it, you're hyperventilating." She stared into fearful brown eyes and continued to calmly stroke her hair. Her anger was gone, replaced with fear. "Breathe slowly Baby. You're okay."

Ashley's breathing was highly irregular and her heart was beating wildly against her chest. She was sure she was dying, it felt like she couldn't get enough air into her lungs, her arms felt numb and her vision began to blur. She couldn't hear the words coming out of Spencer's mouth, they blurred together into nothing. And then she saw her move forward and fought the blonde off her. "Ashley calm down Baby, let me help you, listen to me and breathe slowly, come on, just breathe slowly." The words were whispered into her ear, Ashley closed her eyes and focused on the blonde's voice. Gradually, she began to relax and when she was able to breathe, she opened her eyes and met caring gray eyes. Ashley desperately collapsed against the blonde and held on tightly to her. "Please don't leave me! God please don't ever leave me!" She begged urgently against the blonde.

"I'm not going anywhere Ashley. Calm down." She began running her hands up and down her tanned back, soothing the distraught rock star. "Just relax Baby."

After awhile, a heavy silence filled the room. Spencer continued soothing the rock star while Ashley breathed softly against her. "It would take the strongest drug…" Ashley cleared her throat a bit and pulled back. She met Spencer's gaze and continued. "to get me in bed with another woman." Her voice was soft, tired and somewhat strained. The panic attack had left her feeling drowsy. "You've ruined everyone else for me. It's just, what I said before- I wasn't saying I wanted to fuck groupies…" A deep yawn interrupted her, Spencer tried to stop her from continuing but she didn't listen. "My own mother couldn't stand me, if I don't deserve maternal love…how do I accept yours?"

So much confusion etched over her voice and face, it was nearly heartbreaking how her eyes begged for some kind of answer. Her mind needed to be eased and Spencer realized this. Once again, she was reminded of how inexperienced Ashley was with having a girlfriend and feeling loved. It didn't bother her, she just reminded herself to be patient with the rock star and try her best to see things through her brown eyes. It wasn't easy, knowing how complex the rock star could be. "A lot of things don't make sense when it comes to love." She paused a moment to collect her thoughts. She wanted her explanation to be clear to Ashley, but shewas finding finding the right words to be difficult. She didn't want to sound like a scientist, but being as smart as she was, her explanation was border lining it. "Love is something that changes a lot in a person. It changes the way people think and feel, it changes a person's mentality and priorities in life. It makes no sense at all sometimes and you need to see that Ashley. Love is a strong force that brings two people together, despite their beliefs and rational thinking. I believe it's what brought me to you and what makes me stay, because before you, I never looked at another woman with lusting eyes." She felt Ashley's hand cover her own and intertwined their fingers. "Maybe one day, my love for you will be enough to make you happy." Her words were spoken softly as her eyes caressed the rock star's face.

Ashley was lost in her gray orbs and she unconsciously leaned forward, her eyes near yearning slits as she stopped a hairsbreadth away from Spencer's lips. "You already make me happy." Spencer was a little hesitant in believing the words, but allowed their lips to meet softly and slowly despite her doubts. The kiss didn't last long. A knock at the door interrupted them, Ashley pulled back and groaned her annoyance. Spencer kissed her cheek softly and then got up.

Brown eyes followed the blonde to the door and Ashley frowned when she opened it. Pops stood at the doorway looking unusually formal. He wore a black suit with his hair combed back. "Practicing for your funeral?" She asked casually, standing from her spot on the floor.

Both Pops and Spencer fought back deep sighs at the rock star's sarcasm. The blonde haired man ignored the question and focused on Spencer. "Good morning Princess." He briefly kissed her cheek and then pulled back. "You're looking lovely this morning."

"Thank you." Spencer smiled sincerely at him. "You do too, something special going on today?"

Pops nodded and then looked at Ashley. She leaned against the window staring quietly down at her shoes. "I'm meeting up with a couple of lawyers today." He met Spencer's gaze again. "We're going to discuss my will."

That got Ashley's attention, she didn't look up, just listened carefully to everything he said.

Spencer's eyes widened slightly. It worried her that he was already preparing his will. Was he that close to death? She wondered fearfully. "You're just doing this to get it over with, right? You don't actually think…" She couldn't finish the sentence. How do you ask someone if they think they're going to die?

"He doesn't do anything unless he absolutely has to." Ashley spoke from the corner of the room, her eyes never leaving her shoelaces. "He thinks he's going to do soon." she said simply with calmness that disturbed Spencer.

Pops also kept a cool composure. "Please excuse us Spencer, I have to talk to Ashley about a couple of things."

Ashley's mouth opened before Spencer could easily agree. "Why can't she stay?" She met his gaze and smirked. "Scared she's going to see the real you?" She shook her head. "I really wish she'd see the asshole you are, maybe then she'd think twice about letting those disgusting lips touch her face."

"Ashley it's fine." Spencer walked over to her and stopped a couple of inches away. There was a reason for their closeness, Spencer didn't want Pops to hear them. "Please be nice, Ashley. I know it's hard, but he's not feeling good-"

"I already told you I don't give a fuck about him-"

"Well I do." Ashley's jaw clenched at the softly spoken words. Spencer ignored it and kissed her cheek softly, "Don't give him too hard of a time." She pulled away and walked towards the door.

Ashley watched her leave and then shifted her gaze over to Pops. "What do you need?" She asked flatly, his presence making her sick.

"I have a couple of things to discuss with you." He said businesslike. "First off, your mother called and is worried sick about you. You're near death experience is all over the news." He hesitated before asking, "Are you alright? Nothing got broken or-"

"Stop." She snarled not liking the concern on his face. It sickened her, everything about him sickened her, she couldn't wait for him to die. Everything reflected in his eyes was one big lie, he didn't care about her. He never cared about her. "You don't give a fuck." She reminded him and abruptly cut him off when he opened his mouth to speak again. "You don't give a fuck. Now, I'll call Brenda. Is there anything else?"

Pops stared sadly into her eyes. He wanted to fix things, God he could die at any moment and all he wanted was for everything to be alright between him and Ashley. His daughter, the person he should have cared and loved the most, but failed miserably as a father and ended up deserting her and manipulating her to continue his career. Just for the money and fame… "I do give a fu-"

"No." Ashley interrupted. "is there anything else?" She demanded angrily.

"I'm going to focus on my will today. You will probably inherit a lot more than AJ or anyone else. I just wanted to let you know that."

The rock star narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't want my name anywhere on your will. You're not my father, I'm not your daughter, I don't want

anything that belongs to you. Fuck your money, your houses, and you." She folded her arms across her chest. "Anything else?"

"Why do you have to make this so difficult?" He asked raising his voice. "I'm sick, Ashley. Can't you cut me some fucking slack? I'm just trying to be nice here." Ashley didn't say anything, she just stared at the floor and allowed the silence to build. "Whatever." Pops finally said after 10 minutes of silence. "You're in my will whether you like it or not, and I'm your father whether you like it or not. Bye." He spat coldly and then exited the room.

Ashley walked to the nearest window and realized they were at a hotel. "Thank God." She mumbled walking toward the dresser. She needed to get dressed and get off the bus. She needed a cigarette.

----------

Ashley walked off the bus and stood on the side waiting for her blonde lover. Her father was long gone, thank God, and she needed to get away. There weren't too many options; she could either stay in the suite or roam around the hotel. It really didn't matter, she decided. Just as long as Spencer was with her. Brown eyes watched Glen and Clay get off. They didn't greet her, just ignored her presence and moved on. Ashley didn't care, they didn't matter anymore. A smile lifted her lips when Spencer got off. She hadn't said anything to the blonde since Pops told her to leave the room. The smile disappeared when AJ got off after her. All these fucking people… "Hey." She greeted her cousin coldly. "Do you need something?" She asked when he failed to move away from them.

"Calm down." AJ snapped, and then relaxed a second later. "I was just leaving."

Ashley watched her cousin walk away and then turned her head. Spencer was staring somewhat disappointedly at her. "I hate him." She said simply with a shrug. Her stomach chose that moment to rebel, she felt sick. Brown eyes closed as Ashley felt the sharpest pains in her midriff. "Fuck." She hissed placing her hands over her stomach.

Spencer placed her hand on her back and rubbed soothing circles over her shirt. "You need to eat." She told the rock star softly.

Ashley's eyes fluttered open and she shook her head. "I don't think I can keep anything down."

"What happened to your cockiness?" Spencer asked all of a sudden.

Ashley looked at her and was obviously surprised by the question. "Excuse me?"

The blonde grinned. "You're not so cocky anymore. I was just wondering what happened to that egotistical confidence of yours. It was there

the night I met you."

"Spencer I was high." Ashley explained with a half smile. "And you did say love changes people…"

"Then why are you still stubborn?" Spencer teased placing a lingering kiss on her cheek. She felt the rock star's arms wrap around her and melted into her embrace. It didn't bother her that they were out in the open. She loved Ashley and wanted to be held under the warm sun. "I love you and your stubbornness, Ashley." she held on tighter to her rock star. "Do you feel better?"

Ashley pulled back and stared questionably into her lover's eyes. "You're doing all this to get me to eat, aren't you?!" She demanded playfully. Spencer immediately looked guilty but tried to cover it up with a head shake. "Oh Spencer…" The hands on the blonde's body slipped under her shirt and soon Spencer found herself under attack.

"Ashley!" She yelped as the rock star began tickling her. The laughs that wracked her body were all joyful. The tickling stopped as soon as the blonde's back made contact with the bus. Moving her hands down to rest on slender hips, the rock star leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together, feeling her lover's heavy breathing on her face, she stared intently into her eyes with a wide smile, showing off incredibly white teeth. "I love you too, Spencer" She felt the blonde's arms wrap around her neck and molded their bodies together. "So much that'll I'll accompany you to breakfast and actually eat something." The rock star's right hand moved away from her lover's hips and rested on her khaki covered behind.

Their closeness quickly affected the blonde and she was all of a sudden hungry for something else, someone else that wasn't food. The tingle between her legs quickly escalated to an intense pulse. "Ashley," She breathed slightly chuckling. "I convinced you to have breakfast and now you're convincing me to do so much more with you."

"Is that so." Ashley lifted her off the ground and placed a light kiss on her nose, smiling as she set her back down. "And what would you like to do to me, Spencer Carlin?" There was a twinkle in her vibrant brown eyes as she sensually purred the words, her voice dropping an octave; Spencer found it incredibly sexy.

"Nothing my mother would approve of." She murmured closing the gap between their mouths. The rock star's soft lips melted against hers, she ran her hand up a tanned neck and into thick auburn hair, deepening the kiss.

"Your hand is cold." Ashley husked against her lips.

"Then warm me up." She murmured.

Gray eyes were seductive, sending an invisible lasso around a tanned neck, it pulled her in for more. Ashley kissed her harder, her mouth enjoying the blonde's minty breath. Lavender scented hair filled her senses, the smell was serene, relaxing and sensual. Feeling Spencer's warm body pressed against hers- it was all turning Ashley on. The feeling intensified when moist lips parted, allowing the rock star's tongue to enter a warm mouth, both teens moaned at the intrusion. Ashley's veins pounded from the amount of blood rushing through them, her heart raced as she pressed forward, wanting to melt into the blonde.

"You're feeling pretty warm now." Ashley breathed between kisses and nuzzled her lover's blonde hair, breathing heavily along with the blonde. "God I want you so fucking bad." She panted against her neck, the urge to just take the blonde was overwhelming. She didn't care if they stood in the hotel's large parking lot, she needed Spencer, and the blonde's erratic breathing told her she needed her just as bad.

Ashley's lips continued to caress creamy skin, the hands on the blonde's body slipped under a short skirt and freely messaged firm globes, increasing the rock star's arousal. All rational thinking was killed by uncontrollable lust as her hands roamed the blonde's body.

Spencer was just as aroused, craving the rock star's touch, her bottom rose slightly against her hands as she moaned into Ashley's ear. "Baby that feels really good," Her eyes closed from feeling tanned hands knead both her cheeks as precious lips sucked and nipped down her throat, relishing a moan from the blonde. The warm feeling in the pit of her stomach intensified when insistent lips covered a soft lobe and bit into it, raking along pale flesh, Ashley adjusted one of her hands and ran a finger along aroused folds, loving the eager groan that escaped her lover's lips as she spread her legs wider. Wetness could easily be felt through the blonde's undergarments, Ashley sucked hard on her pulse point as she urged her lover's panties down. "Oh god Ashley." Spencer gasped feeling teasing fingers arouse the sensitive skin on her thighs, "Please…Ashley…" She begged her arousal becoming too much to bear.

Ashley gave into her lover's pleas and kissed her softly while stroking her delicate lips with deliberate slowness. Spencer's eyes were closed and her breathing erratic as Ashley took her free hand and held her wrists above her head, kissing her deeply, her tongue caressed Spencer's as confident tanned fingers began teasing her drenched clit. "Ashley!" Spencer tore her mouth away and raised her hips to meet her strokes, sighing when she felt Ashley's warm breath over her sensitive ear. "I love you so much Spencer, so fucking much." Her thumb barely stroked her clit as a slender finger entered her slick entrance. The rock star stared into her eyes as she added another finger, putting more pressure on her clit, she began working them in and out of her tight entrance pleasurably.

The blonde's squirming was too much for the rock star, she freed her hands and allowed them to desperately pull and stroke her hair, it was a nice mix of pain and pleasure as the rock star captured her lips hungrily and enjoyed the way Spencer kissed her back with just as much fervor. "You feel so wonderful my beautiful girl." She praised against panting lips.

Spencer could feel her toes curl as Ashley's had became more insistent against her wet flesh; her thumb brushing against her clitoris repeatedly as her fingers continued to pleasure her. Moaning, Spencer held on tightly to the rock star as she took her up, creating blissful sensations throughout her body. Soon her pleasure became blinding and she was falling….

"I have you Spencer, you're safe with me," she mumbled as the thumb on her slippery flesh moved frantically in sync with the fingers plunging in and out of her, bringing her arousal to an all-time high, she held Spencer closer and began feasting at her neck again.

"Oh Ashley! Don't stop!" The blonde cried frantically.

Hearing the desperation in her voice, Ashley knew she was close and moaned against her lightly perspired skin. The blonde felt the vibration against her neck and lost it; her vision blurred into a florescent light as she thrust urgently and dug blunt nails into tanned skin, holding on for dear life as her body began shaking violently. "Ashely!" She screamed out her pleasure to the world.

"God, I love you." Ashley moaned as Spencer stiffened, feeling the slick velvet walls around her fingers contract and pulse, the rock star leaned over and kissed away the single tear that had spilled from her lover's hazy gray eyes.

Feeling her body's convulsions end, Spencer relaxed and collapsed limply against Ashley, burrowing deeply against her lover's tanned neck as she fought hard to control her breathing. Ashley eased her hand out of her lover and pulled her panties back up. Satisfied, She held the quivering blonde tightly against her and began rubbing her back gently. "Breathe beautiful, I got you Spencer." She murmured resting her chin on top of warm blonde hair. "Forever." She murmured quietly, her voice too low to be heard.

Having recovered, Spencer pulled back and stared into loving brown eyes. "I can't get enough of you." She groaned as her fingers entangled in flawless auburn hair, cupping the back of Ashley's head, she pulled her to her. They lingered outside a little while longer sharing deep kisses and light caresses. "I thought you were hungry?" Ashley breathed being dragged inside the bus by her lover.

Spencer pulled Ashley up the stairs and kissed her lips firmly as they neared the refrigerator. "Some things," She kissed her again while walking backwards toward the back room. "Can just wait." She finished as her back came into contact with the heavy oak door. Ashley easily agreed and pressed up against her lover, kissing her deeply, she grasped the door knob and urged them into the room.

"You drive me insane Ashley Davies," Spencer breathed hotly in her lover's ear, nibbling on a soft lobe as they stood in front of the bed. She played with the skin above Ashley's belt buckle. "Mmm," Spencer hummed kissing her chin while her hands moved down to a white belt, her fingers slowly undoing the cold silver. "To answer your previous question, My rock star…" She kissed her deeper this time, thoroughly enjoying the guitarist's mouth and tongue ring. A shiver ran down the blonde's spine as Ashely growled into their kiss. She brought her hands to the hem of Ashley's shirt and broke their kiss to remove the annoying barrier. "My gorgeous baby." The blonde husked eyeing her rock star's bare torso hungrily. "You feel so good." She moaned running her hand over a dark nipple, she began fondling her lover's breast, arousal pooling between her legs as she teased the taunt bud. "I'm with the right Davies." She moaned nipping at Ashley's bottom lip.

The hand pleasuring her lover's aroused bud fanned the flames of her desire, she leaned into the rock star and allowed her forehead to rest on a warm shoulder, feeling Ashley message her scalp, she closed her eyes and tried to control her heavy breathing. The last kiss had left her breathless, that and her own arousal affected lack of oxygen.

Catching her breath, she caught a glimpse of the open doorway. "Ashley…" She sighed feeling warm hands slip under her shirt and move up and down her sides. "….the door.." She husked placing light kisses all over tan shoulders, occasionally licking the warm skin there, she felt her lover pause and then mumble, "fuck it." She easily obeyed while kissing along her collarbones and then down the valley of her breasts. Feeling the hands on her body go back to her hair, Spencer got down on her knees and moved both her hands down to her lover's crotch.

Trembling hands undid a cold silver button and then pulled down a zipper, staring up into brown eyes, Spencer could tell Ashley was just as excited by their new position. "I love you Baby." She placed urgent wet kisses all over her lover's abdomen, her tongue occasionally teasing her navel, Spencer closed her eyes and enjoyed the rock star's body.

Everything from the noises her lover was making to the taste of Ashley's skin was driving the blonde crazy. Her arousal was clearly evident, her clit pounding as hard as her heart, and the blonde was feeling a bit lightheaded from all the desire coursing through her body. She grasped her tight black jeans and guided them down her legs, Ashley kicked them off and she did the same with her underwear. Spencer kissed her womanhood and then stood up, kissing her passionately, she pushed her back on the bed and covered her lean tanned body with her own.

Things felt different to Spencer as she lied on top of the rock star, staring into loving eyes that clouded over with desire, it seemed as though there weren't any problems between them, everything was perfect.

Kissing swollen lips softly, Spencer sat up on her knees and brought her hands down to the hem of her shirt, removing her shirt and then bra, she then removed her skirt and underwear with Ashley's help. Settling back over the rock star's hips, her skin burned as it came into contact with warm naked flesh.

Ashley sat up slowly and began kissing the exposed skin on her upper chest while teasing the blonde's thighs and back. She felt a tender hand on her shoulder while eager fingers laced their way in her hair.

"Ashley." Spencer breathed as the rock star took a ready nipple into her mouth, her tongue teasing the rock hard bud with a silver barbell, sending delicious shivers through the blonde's body. Spencer stared down at Ashley while stroking and caressing her face and hair, voicing her pleasure and love for her rock star as she continued teasing her breasts.

"I really want to kiss you," She husked as Ashley raked her teeth along an erect nipple.

The rock star looked up and gazed into desire filled gray eyes. "Then kiss me." Ashley whispered running her hands up delicious thighs. Spencer dipped her head and kissed her deeply, moaning into her mouth as hands began to wander boldly over sensitive skin. "Lie back Baby." Spencer breathed against moist lips, placing her hands on tanned shoulders, she eased Ashley down on her back and began kissing the expanse of her neck, sucking and nipping her way down the smooth skin, her lips viciously assaulted tanned flesh, earning her ears more pleas and moans from her lover. Her skin tasted amazing, it was pure ambrosia for the blonde, she couldn't get enough of Ashley. Sucking on her pulse point, Spencer's right hand began teasing a hard dark nipple as Ashley moved against the thigh nestled between her legs, spreading wetness along the blonde's skin, it only made Spencer hotter.

Both teens were on fire as Spencer kissed down her lover's body, teasing dark nipples with her mouth and tongue, biting down the valley between Ashley's breasts, and then kissing down taunt abs, Spencer was in heaven when she finally got to her lover's aching center. Feeling gentle hands message her scalp, the blonde dipped her head and stared up into Ashley's face. Her head was tilted back, eyes shut tightly, and breathing heavy as Spencer moved further down her body, kissing and licking her inner thighs until Ashley begged for more. The scent of her sex filled her senses and she felt dizzy with desire.

Moving up, eager lips kissed taunt abs sensually. "I love you." Spencer mumbled against tanned skin, breathing warm air onto her sensitive skin, Ashley unconsciously raised her hips to meet her lover's mouth, gasping when felt Spencer lick her slowly, sending jolts of pleasure through her body.

Closing her eyes, Spencer ran her tongue along her wetness. Hearing her girlfriend's sighs, feeling her hands in her hair, it all encouraged her to be bolder. She entered slick folds with her tongue and gently circled her pleasure, eagerly drinking her lover's desire, her hands roamed over her smooth thighs, increasing the wetness in her center.

The rock star's words soon blurred into nothing coherent, her voice thick with desire, arousing the blonde to no end. "Spencer…" She heard being gasped as a tanned hand moved her hair aside and began roaming over her warm neck and upper back, it surprised the blonde how gentle and loving her girlfriend's touch was. She predicted Ashley to be the type to cup the back of her head and shove her face into her, but Ashley wasn't like that at all. Her girlfriend was loving and it expressed clearly in their love making.

Slowly the rock star began thrusting her pelvis, Spencer met each thrust with her tongue and then sucked her pulsing clit into her mouth, using her tongue to pleasure her as much as possible. The rhythm was set and Ashley began moaning more urgently and bucking against her mouth. Spencer could feel her thighs quivering against her as she sucked and licked the sensitive bud harder, slowing down as Ashley groaned her climax and arched her back toward the ceiling.

Taking her lover's hand, Spencer moved up Ashley's sweat soaked skin and rested her cheek against trembling abs, closing her eyes as she listened to Ashley's heavy breathing.

The rock star quickly recovered and stroked the sweat soaked blonde hair sprawled over her naked skin. "You're amazing Spencer." She grinned watching her blonde lover kiss up her quivering midriff. "I love you." She murmured once their faces were inches apart. "I love you too." Spencer breathed, kissing her firmly. The kiss was short lived and ended soon. Spencer kissed her chin lightly and then rested her head on her lover's chest, closing her eyes, she felt a cool blanket being spread over her heated body, followed by Ashley's loving hands running up and down her back.

She fell asleep smiling, but the nap was short lived. The cool sheets over their bodies, plus the skin on skin contact, resulted in more love making. The two stopped once exhaustion took over, forcing them to sleep.

----------

Staring at the large double doors he had picked out a lifetime ago, Pops was regretting ever showing up there. Visiting his ex wife was not something he planned. While on the plane, his thoughts had drifted to Brenda. Since he was going to be working on his will, he wanted to know if she wanted anything from him. Once upon a time, they were in love and he made stupid promises to be together forever. His drug addiction ruined those promises, ruined his life. He knew Brenda in high school, she supported his career, they were in love, everything seemed so perfect, but then he got caught up in his fame and hurt the brunette. Raising his hand, Pops knocked firmly on the door and waited anxiously for his ex wife to answer. It had been over 10 years since they last saw each other. Brenda looked better than ever. Her face had matured along with her age, she was still very slim and healthy looking.

Standing at the doorway wearing a black sundress and scandals, the phone in the brunette's hand fell as she caught sight of her ex husband.

"Crap." Brenda hissed picking up her cell phone and bringing it back to her ear. Her eyes stayed glued to her ex husband's face. He looked nervous and out of place, "Um, yeah. I'm going to have to call you back. No….everything is fine, it's just, there's someone at the door. Okay..alrighty…bye." Brenda closed her phone and cleared her throat lightly. It was then she noticed the rest of her ex husband's attire. The black suite seemed depressing, she wondered… "Is Ashley alright?" She blurted out with concern. Why else would Raife be at her door step if it didn't concern Ashley? She was the only thing that still linked them together. "You told me I would hear from her today, she never called. Is she okay?"

Raife got over his shock and most of his nervousness. "Ashley is fine." He answered simply. "I don't know why she hasn't called you yet. She told me she was going to." He ran his hand through his combed hair. "I came here to discuss some things with you. You're not busy are you?" He asked quietly. Brenda shook her head and opened the door wider, beckoning him to come in.

Raife smiled briefly and then stepped into his former home. Everything looked brand new and redone. He wondered if Brenda redid it all to forget him. He looked at her and then said, "Place looks nice." He then saw a nice picture of her and her current husband at the beach with Kyla in the middle. They all looked so happy- that could have easily been him and Ashley hugging Brenda on the beach. He internally chastised himself for thinking so foolishly. "How's Kyla…and Tom?" He asked after a beat, meeting his ex lover's eyes.

"They're doing great." Brenda answered briefly. She just wanted the blonde manager to leave, he was making her nervous. "Follow me into the den, we can talk there." Raife agreed and followed her to the back of the house. They sat on different love seats, Pops leaned back against the elegant material and crossed one leg over the other. "I'm working on my Will later on today. I just wanted to see if you needed anything from me. I already have a few millions in store for you, but I wanted to talk to you personally about anything else you might want. Another house, maybe a couple of cars-"

"Raife." Brenda sighed, cutting him off. "Why are you really here?"

"I already told you." The blonde haired man frowned. "I'm working on my will-"

"Why? I'm sure you've got more important things to worry about at the moment. In fact, isn't Ashley on tour?"

"Yes. But there are even bigger things I have to worry about. Like, how am I going to stay alive?" The last part was said somewhat playfully but it still confused Brenda. "I'm sick." He said on a more serous note. He shrugged at Brenda's surprised expression. "I should have listened to you along time ago."

"What are you talking about?" She questioned softly, eyeing him confusedly. "Sick? How are you sick? Raife don't mess with my mind, just give me straight answers."

"Okay Ren." He fingered his shoe nervously as he spoke. "I have heart problems, major ones that could possibly kill me. The doctors say cocaine is most likely to blame for it all." He smiled sadly. "I should have listened when you begged me to stop." He shrugged. "Now it's too late."

"Oh Raife." Brenda gasped, moving to the seat next to him, she took one of his hands in both of hers, staring intently into his eyes. It was like they were newlyweds again, all the emotions that filled the other's eyes, it was almost too much. Brenda ignored her racing heart and squeezed her ex husband's hand. "You'll be okay, right? Please tell me it's not as bad as your making it out to be."

"Does it matter?" He questioned softly.

"Of course it does!" She exclaimed abruptly. "Raife I know we didn't have the happiest marriage, but that doesn't mean I don't care if you lived or died." She released his hand and folded hers on her lap. "How is Ashley taking it?" She wondered concerned.

Raife snorted. "She's happy for me."

"This isn't a joke, Raife." She said somewhat angrily.

The blonde haired man stared at her seriously. "I'm not joking. Ashley sees this as an early Christmas present." The honest words confused the brunette. Pops saw her confusion and then realization struck. She had no idea how fucked up their relationship was. "Ashley hasn't mentioned us to you, has she?" He mused out loud, further confusing his ex wife. "You don't know, do you?"

"You're not making any sense." She snapped, "What are you talking about?"

Pops stood up and stared down at his ex wife. "Ashley hates me. She always has always will-"

"That can't be." Brenda stated abruptly, thinking of the hundreds of articles, pictures, and interviews of them. They loved each other dearly. "I've read almost everything on you two. Ashley loves you-"

The manager laughed bitterly. "We've lied to the media over the years, Ashley hates me, I've treated her like crap, and she has every right to hate me." He scratched the back of his neck. "I've fucked up big time with her." He confessed sadly. "It's just, after the divorce, I was angry at you Brenda- I wanted to get back at you for ruining me…" He trailed off noticing the horrific look on her face. "I probably shouldn't say anymore." He looked down at his watch. "Maybe I should just leave."

Brenda immediately stood up and stared incredulously at the man she used to love. She stared intently at him, a million questions running through her head. "Are you to blame for how she is, Rafeal? Did you drive our daughter to…to drugs and," She stopped when he looked away, staring sorrowfully at the ground. "Oh God." She brought a hand over her lips in shock. "What have you done? Why didn't you ever tell me! I would have taken her back, I would have loved her, I…I would have saved her from you, but I thought she was happy with you- I thought you wanted her. I…I thought…. Wrong. Didn't I?" She collapsed on the couch and stared numbly at the quiet man standing before her.

The rock star sat cross legged on the thin cotton blanket. His eyes, shielded by sunglass, stared up into the gorgeous blue sky. The day was completely clear, warm and perfect. He could hear the busy activity of the park; kids laughing, dogs barking, men running, he could even make out a soccer game not far from where he sat. He tilted his head down and leaned heavily against the large tree that provided their shade. The spot he had chosen was wonderfully secluded, he wasn't in the mood for autographs so he chose the most faraway and inactive part of the park for him and his family to sit and relax.

His lovely wife sat cross-legged away from him, her arms full with their wonderful 1 year old daughter. The tiny baby lied against her mother nursing hungrily with her brown eyes closed. "She's growing up fast." Raife observed with surprise. He was starting to regret all the time he spent touring, months away from his family was becoming devastating. He was missing watching his beautiful daughter grow up. "Man she's so beautiful."

Brenda stared lovingly down at her child as her fingers absently stroked her short brunette hair. "Do you even remember her name Raife?" Brenda sighed as she looked up into her husband's face. She knew he was still using drugs, it bothered her, but she never really questioned him about it. Until now.

The blonde haired rock star nodded his head. "Of course I do." He answered slightly appalled. "Ashley Camryn Davies. Why such a stupid question?" He asked defensively. His relationship with his wife was quickly spiraling downward. It scared him. Brenda was the love of his life, he loved her more than anything else in the world. More than anyone else.

"I found so much coke in your luggage, Raife. You promised me you would quit once Ashley was born." She looked back down at her baby. "She's over a year old now, why haven't you stopped yet?" She asked softly, her eyes never leaving her daughter's precious face.

Raife shrugged and looked down. "I don't know. It's hard to stop, Ren. I don't think I can."

Brenda looked angrily up at him. "You just can't keep using, Raife. Think about Ashley, your career, for Christ's sake, what about me? I can't keep doing this if you're going to choose cocaine over us. It's made you into a cheating, lying, asshole."

The rock star tensed at his wife's angry tone. "Cheating?" He asked barely above a whisper. He wondered how much his wife knew about his groupie obsession. They didn't mean anything to him, they were just fun to play with while high.

"Yes." she smiled bitterly. "Cheating. I know you're sleeping around on tour. You're clothes reek of cheap whores and almost everything you own is covered in make up." She fought hard to keep her tears at bay. She did love Raife, but he was hurting her in so many different ways. She knew it was only a matter of time before she acted on filing for divorce. The thought of hurting the man she loved so much was overwhelming. She knew she was Raife's world, everything he did revolved around her, his heart was hers and she was going to break it. She looked away from concerned brown eyes and stared down at Ashley. Her eyes were wide open now, she was so beautiful and sweet, Brenda knew letting her go would be unbearable, but Raife needed his daughter's love more than she did to get him through the divorce. It would surely kill the blonde haired man to lose Brenda, but maybe Ashley will keep him from breaking down. Maybe she will convince him to stop using cocaine, something she had failed to do.

Bending down, Brenda spoke softly for Ashley's ears only. "I love you my beautiful daughter." She kissed her cheek softly and then looked up at her husband.

The blonde haired man had a bitter look on his face, he was angry as he stared into her face. For a moment, she wondered if he knew of her plans. "I'm tired." She confessed honestly. "I think it's time we go home."

The rock star nodded and stood up, helping his wife and daughter up, they all walked silently to the car. Raife needing cocaine, and Brenda needing to rest. She just wanted to put her husband out of her mind. His crazy behavior was stressful, she just wanted all the madness to end.

"How could you hurt your own daughter so badly?!" She demanded with tears building in her eyes. "She was supposed to help you through the divorce! I loved you so much that I sacrificed my daughter just so you can survive our divorce. Survive me breaking your heart," She closed her eyes and allowed the tears to run down her face. "What went wrong?"

"I was so angry at you Ren." He confessed quietly. "Nothing mattered to me after the divorce, I only took Ashley so you couldn't have her. I saw how much you loved her and it bothered me. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me." He hesitated before continuing. "After the divorce, I just gave Ashley to nannies, and then taught her how to play guitar when she was old enough to learn. I realized she could continue my career and become a great guitar player. I made her a rock star and she made me money." He went into further detail; telling his ex every reason why Ashley hated him now. "Now she hates my guts and is happy I'm dying. I'm sorry." He added in a small voice. "I'm just realizing how bad I fucked up, how stupid I've been, and I'm paying the ultimate price. The doctors don't think I'll live much longer." His own tears fell silently down his face. "I want to make things better, I want to die knowing we're okay, but I know that will never happen. It's too late for that. I'm already dead to her."

"Oh Raife…" She breathed, finding the whole situation horrifying. "How could you do that to her!" She demanded angrily stalking up to him. "Do you remember the reason why we got divorced? You wouldn't stop doing drugs and fucking whores. You ruined our marriage, not Ashley. It's not fair that she was tortured because of it." She pushed him angrily away from her. "She's your daughter, you selfish bastard, are you demented? Sick in the head? Normal people don't purposely ruin their children's lives, and when they do mess up, they fix things- I can't believe you." She seethed. "I always thought Ashley was spoiled, and did drugs for the fun of it, but now I know the truth." She pounded his chest hard, needing to release some of the anger she was feeling. "My oldest daughter does drugs to make the life she shares with you more bearable! How do you live with yourself Raife?" She was beyond disgusted with the blonde haired man. "How do you live with yourself!" She demanded again with venom dripping off her every word.

Raife stood speechless staring into her angry face. He had never seen her so angry before, it really made him think. And his thoughts brought on a tidal wave of emotions that flooded him with guilt, shame, and regret. "I'm sorry." He said lamely, not knowing what else to say. There was nothing he could say that would make everything alright, it would never be alright.

Ashley would never be alright.

----------

After waking up, Ashley and Spencer had spent a good amount of time in bed; talking softly, kissing leisurely and caressing boldly. They eventually got out of bed and Spencer immediately suggested they shower on the bus. Ashley easily agreed and followed her blonde lover into the bathroom. "You're kidding me." She told her reflection in the mirror. Her brown eyes stayed glued to the large hickey on her neck. She looked over at Spencer and didn't miss her attempt to hold back a chuckle. "You're getting really good at these." She looked back at her reflection. "I swear this one almost spells out 'Property of Spencer.'"

Spencer smiled over at her. "Well at least I'm honest." She teased, walking over to the grinning rock star. She wrapped her arms around Ashley from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder, eyeing their reflection. "Do they bother you, Ashley?" She seriously asked, moving her gaze down to the dark bruise.

Ashley immediately shook her head and leaned back against the blonde. "Not at all, I love belonging to you." A smile lined her lips as she turned her head. Spencer laughed softly as she kissed her inviting lips. "Have you thought about where you want to eat yet?" The rock star asked as she faced her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her neck she added, "I'm buying."

Spencer kissed her again and shook her head. "I'll think of something." She said, slowly walking them backwards. "Oh this feels so good." She moaned as she stepped into the shower, the warm water caressing her tired muscles. "mmm don't you just love this?" She asked darkening eyes.

"Mmhmm." Ashley hummed smiling into her lover's gray orbs while running her fingers through dampening blonde hair. Spencer's hands were running up and down her naked sides, the closeness of their bodies was having an affect on both of them. Ashley's hand merged further into flawless honey locks until tanned fingers curved around the back of her head. "Everything feels good when I'm with you." She whispered, gently hauling her lover's wet body against her chest. "Everything." She dipped her head and captured her lover's lips, kissing her with heated intensity, she began running her tongue along her lover's bottom lip, they parted instinctively and both teens moaned when Ashley's tongue entered her mouth. Tongues played as hands roamed, groped, and stroked.

"Ashley…" Spencer pleaded between kisses, "Mmm, Baby we should stop." She moaned feeling a rough hand knead her breast as Ashley pressed her up against the cold shower wall. Ashley heard the plea and moved her hand down gentle curves. Her head came up and rested against Spencer's. She gently took her smooth chin between her thumb and forefinger and began caressing the soft skin, her dark brown eyes boring into gray with intensity that left the blonde speechless. "Do you really want me to stop?" She asked softly, barely above a whisper as her fingers trailed down the column of her neck, stopping at her pulse point, Ashley felt her lover's heart race incredibly fast against her fingertips. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against a sensitive ear, "Can you refuse me?" Her warm breath sent shivers down the blonde's spine, her head immediately shook as Ashley began sensually kneading her breast again. The rock star's head jerked back, she met desire filled gray eyes, "Why not?" She breathed as the hands on the blonde's body became more insistent, her right cupping and squeezing her breast while the other stroked up and down her quivering abs. "I need you." Spencer said softly, the honesty in her voice going straight to the rock star's heart, the strong muscle fluttered as she pressed her lips against Spencer's.

All conversation stopped, replaced by raging teenage passion.

----------

Her fingers moved quickly over the taunt strings. The music that emitted from the guitar was easily recognized by everyone in the room. A couple of people began whistling as their heads bobbed up and down to the music. "Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh" Ashley grinned as her fingers showed no mercy on the strings. "Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh, More loneliness than any man could bear, Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh." Brown eyes stayed glued to her fingers as she sang. She could feel everyone's on her, it didn't bother her, just sent a wave of adrenalin through her. The tempo of the song quickened as she got to the chorus. "Ill send an s.o.s. to the world, Ill send an s.o.s. to the world…"

Spencer stood staring at her lover. They were backstage waiting to play their next show. Tables of food surrounded the large backstage room. It was full of people, some Spencer knew, some she was seeing for the first time. They all watched her lover play and sing from the corner of the room. She sat comfortably on a chair with her acoustic guitar over her lap. Her voice filled the room beautifully.

"What a show off."

Spencer's head snapped over to the brunette standing beside her. Her facial expression was nothing less of disdain. "She's amazing." She disagreed calmly. She sensed Darcey didn't like Ashley very much. She didn't understand why, but it was obvious. Spencer just ignored most of the smart remarks and bitter comments directed towards her lover. They bothered her, but she didn't want to fight with Aiden's girl.

Darcey met Spencer's gaze and rolled her eyes. "Oh please, she's just an attention whore." She remembered her trip to Tampa. "And a rich bitch." She listened to the rock star's lyrics and rolled her eyes again. "She's so damn emo-"

"Darcey." Spencer interrupted firmly. "Please keep in mind that I live with Ashley and care about her." She smiled when Ashley's brown eyes found hers. "I don't feel you know her well enough to judge her."

The brunette looked from Spencer to Ashley. The looks and smiles they gave each other were too intimate to just be friendly. "It's true." She gasped in shock. Spencer looked at her. "Aiden told me last night, I thought he was joking- he wasn't. You guys are together!" She hissed somewhat appalled.

Spencer was starting to question her ex boyfriend's abilities to keep secrets. First AJ, now Darcey, she wondered when her mother would find out. "I really don't want to talk about it here." She looked at the brunette. "It's kind of crowded."

The brunette ignored her words. "H-how could you do this?" She asked quietly, a confused look sprawled over her face. "Aiden has told me wonderful church stories about you two…how did this happen?"

"Do you have a problem with my relationship with Ashley?" She asked just as quietly. Her eyes bore intensely into hazel as she waited for an answer.

Darcey couldn't believe what she was seeing. Spencer looked offended and hurt. "Spencer it doesn't matter what I think." She said slowly. "God is who I follow, and he believes same sex relationships are sin." She sighed apologetically. "I'm a follower of God…" She trailed off and stared helplessly at Spencer.

'I am too!' The words were on the tip of her tongue, but then died. She was a heavy Christian back in Ohio, along with her mother and the rest of her family, but she wasn't sure if she had the right to say that now. After everything she had done with Ashley. Hearing Darcey's words and uneasiness about homosexuality was a wake up call for her. So far, everyone she had come across was okay with Ashley being a lesbian. Spencer never really gave thought to the people who were against it. How would she handle them? And then there was her relationship with God. Where did she stand with that? "Um…" She was speechless as she stared into Darcey's face.

"….A year has passed since I wrote my note, But I should have known this right from the start, Only hope can keep me together. Love can mend your life but Love can break your heart." Ashley continued to play and sing as she watched Spencer and Darcey. They both looked uneasy, especially Spencer. The rock star didn't like what she was seeing. There was something troubling her lover and it made her nervous.

Darcey saw the confusion on her blonde companion's face and felt bad for her. "Hey," She touched her shoulder sympathetically. "God will forgive you." She looked away. "But you can't keep seeing her."

"I love her." Spencer argued weakly. "I can't just stop seeing her."

"…Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray. I'm waiting for that final moment, You'll say the words that I can't say…" Everyone in the room erupted in cheers and whistled at the abrupt change in songs. It was amazing how Ashley transitioned from playing one song to another. Dark brown orbs gazed loving into gray as tanned fingers continued playing. A smile graced the rock star's lips when Spencer mouthed 'I love you.'

"I can't stop seeing her." The blonde said smiling back at her lover. She met Darcey's disappointed gaze. "I'm sorry you find it so wrong, but she's everything to me."

Darcey shrugged. "It's not if I find it wrong or right that matters." Was all she said before walking off.

Spencer looked back at Ashley and continued watching her play. She wanted to believe that Darcey's words didn't bother her, but the truth was… they were all she could think of.

----------

The dark scenery out the window whooshed by as the limo headed back to the hotel. Ashley and Spencer sat in the far corner, away from everyone else, cuddling. Ashley watched Spencer's hand rub circles on her stomach in the darkness. She was somewhat worried about her girlfriend. She had been quiet since leaving the concert hall. Ashley wanted to believe she was just tired, but couldn't. "It's wonderful outside." She said softly near her ear. "Such a beautiful night."

Snapped out of her deep thoughts, Spencer looked up at her lover. Her head was turned the other way now, eyes out the window. Spencer followed her gaze and realized it was raining. Hard. The wind was frightening, blowing loudly all around them, lightening was the only light that could be seen. She remembered they were in Oklahoma and feared tornadoes. "It's horrible out there." She waited for the rock star to look at her before continuing. "How do you find it beautiful?" She softly asked moving her hand up to play with her lover's hair.

"I'm not sure." Ashley confessed sheepishly. "I've always enjoyed heavy rain- it scares me sometimes, I enjoy the rush. It feels good, especially without coke." The corner of her mouth tilted up. "I'm turning into an adrenaline junkie."

Spencer could hear the playfulness in her voice and decided to play along. "Does that mean you'll be jumping out of planes soon?"

"Sure." The rock star answered easily. "But you'll have to come with me."

Spencer immediately shook her head. "I'm sorry but you're on your own on that one. Not even in my wildest dreams do I see myself doing that." Her hand dropped as she rested her head on Ashley's shoulder. The rock star wrapped an arm around her and nestled her cheek against soft blonde hair.

"I'm going to church with you." Ashley chuckled. "How fair is that?"

"You're right, let me make up to you." Spencer playfully nipped and sucked at her neck while her hand slipped under her shirt, teasing warm skin. "Feeling better?" She mumbled against her skin.

"Much." Ashley smiled kissing the top of her head. "Now when are we jumping out of an plane?"

Spencer groaned and buried her face in her neck, regretting ever mentioning it. Ashley was starting to sound serious. "We're not." She said sounding equally serious. The thought of Ashley jumping out of plane scared her too death, it was more disturbing than the thought of her jumping out. "How about we spend all day at an amusement park instead? I can do rollercoaster's."

"It's not the same." Ashley sighed, determined to talk her blonde lover into it. "I'm so bored of coaster's, you know? I've ridden so many….there isn't much of a rush anymore." And then a thought occurred to her. "But if you really want to go to an amusement park, I can have Rachael arrange something." She smirked. "You can choose any place in the world and I'll take you there."

The blonde knew her girlfriend's words were true. Ashley could take her anywhere in the world, buy her anything she wanted, and still have enough money to buy everything she wanted until the day she died. "You're worth more than the millions in your bank account." She caressed her face and kissed the corner of her mouth. "Being in your arms is enough for me. It's where I want to be forever."

"My arms over Paris, Rome, and New York?" She asked softly, "Are you sure your as smart as you say?" She joked tightening her arms around the blonde. Spencer melted against her lover and kissed her skin softly. The car was too dark for anyone else to see them, and they spoke too softly to be heard, providing them with the privacy they craved.

"No," She chuckled near her lover's ear. "I'm a stupid blonde who can't resist her rock star." She nibbled on a soft earlobe while running her fingertips over tanned abs. It tickled but Ashley ignored the sensation and fought back her laughter.

"If that's the case then I must be the biggest dumb ass in the world," She smiled widely when Spencer pulled away and met her gaze. "because you're all I think about."

Spencer cupped the rock star's smooth face and their lips brushed softly. Ashley didn't have much time to enjoy the sweet gesture, the lights came on and she immediately jerked back. The limo stopped and the two teens received amused looks from everyone around them. Clearing her throat, Ashley sat up and straightened her clothes. She looked over and caught Spencer doing the same thing. The only difference was the blonde was blushing furiously. "Don't feel embarrassed, they've all seen me with women before."

Spencer's hands nearly shook as she pulled her shirt down, it had ridden up above her bellybutton from Ashley caressing her back. She and Aiden never had problems being intimate in front of friends, family, and strangers, but for some reason, it made Spencer nervous to be seen that way with Ashley. "It's not the same Ashley." She mumbled. "We should be more…subtle in public. It's not very professional to make out in front of everyone we know."

Ashley looked at the other end of the hummer and watched Glen slide out the door. He was the last person to leave, leaving Spencer and Ashley alone. "You and Aiden did it all the time." She murmured softly looking into her lover's eyes.

There was no anger pooling in gentle brown eyes, just confusion and hurt. "Ashley," Spencer took her hand and caressed tanned skin nervously. "I have to get used to this Baby." Gray eyes begged Ashley to understand. Being with another girl was new to her, she didn't know how to react to people staring at them. "I'm not ashamed of you, please don't think that, it's just I'm new to this- I just need time." She added helplessly, not knowing what else to say. Everything Darcey had told her affected her thinking, her emotions were confusing her.

Ashley saw her troubled expression and pulled her into her arms. "It's okay Spencer." She soothed near her ear. "I'll be patient." Relieved by the rock star's loving words, Spencer melted into her embrace and held on tightly, never wanting to let Ashley go.

"Hey, how does a movie sound?" Ashley asked after a brief moment of silence. She wanted to have fun with the blonde, nothing sexual, just plain old clean fun. "I have a ton of DVD's I haven't seen yet. We can get some popcorn, hangout in the suite, and watch a couple of them." Her fingertips trailed up and down the small of her back as she waited for an answer. She didn't have to wait long. Spencer easily agreed and they left the limo, in search of the tour bus.

She had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)
Boots with the fur (with the fur)
The whole club was lookin at her
She hit the flo (she hit the flo)
Next thing u kno
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
Them baggy sweat pants
And the reeboxs with the straps (with the straps)
She turned around and gave that big booty a slap (heeeey)
She hit the flo (she hit the flo)
Next thing u kno
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Spencer sat on the living room floor as Ashley changed in the master bedroom. After finding the bus, they found a box of movies and headed to the suite, intent on watching a couple of them. After entering the large suite, Ashley called Rachael and asked for popcorn. Now the radio played softly in the room, filling the blonde's ears as she sat cross-legged on the floor, digging through the box of movies, Spencer found a lot of them interesting. They weren't modern, but they still looked good. She glanced at the dates on a couple of them was surprised to see '1964, 1972, 1960' and so on. "Ashley, whose old movies are these?" She called out from the living room.

"Mine, Boo." Ashley answered sweetly from the other room. "I collected them as a kid."

Spencer chuckled and shook her head from side to side, her eyes reading the small summary for the 'Amityville Horror." "Why didn't you collect Disney movies like other kids?" She asked playfully putting the old horror film back in the box. "I promise you their just as good."

Ashley walked out of the room and entered the kitchen. "I have a couple of Disney movies." A thought occurred to her. "I think I grabbed the wrong box. Are those only my classics?" She asked opening the fridge. Her throat was dry and she was in desperate need of a drink. At Spencer's 'yes' she sighed. "Sorry I assumed that was newer stuff. I can go back and find the other box."

"It's fine."

The words were reassuring, making Ashley feel better. She felt like a moron for grabbing a box of movies Spencer didn't want to see. "Hey Spence, would you like a Pepsi?" She asked grabbing a cold blue can. Her taste buds craved Vodka, but she ignored them knowing Spencer wouldn't be too happy if she got drunk. At Spencer's 'yes Baby' she grabbed a second can and then walked out of the kitchen. "Find anything good ?" She settled next to her blonde lover and placed the drinks on the floor.

Spencer read another summary and then glanced over at the rock star. "Ashley!" She fingered the animated pajama pants she was wearing while staring playfully into a grinning face. "These look a lot like my pants." She mused not upset, just amused. It actually flattered her to see Ashley wear her clothes. It showed her that the rock star was comfortable with her.

"They looked warm," Ashley shrugged a little and then stared down at the Aeropostale pants covering her legs. They were white with black pandas and bluer stars everywhere. They nicely matched the black tank top she wore. "Who makes these?" She asked looking up. "I must buy more. What size are you? I'll buy you some too."

"They're Aeropastale and I'm sure we're the same size." She eyed her lover from head to toe. "Actually you're a bit smaller than me, but I don't think it matters if you're getting Pajama pants." Spencer stood up with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "I think I'll get ready for bed now. Don't follow or we may never get out." She added playfully.

Ashley reluctantly nodded as she watched her lover leave the room. She wanted to watch her undress, but knew that wasn't very wise. When it came to Spencer, she had problems controlling certain urges. Smirking, Ashley focused on the movies and picked up a couple. She had seen them all already, but didn't mind watching one over. Some of them were really entertaining, especially a couple of the comedies.

"Hey Baby lets play some pool."

Ashley turned her head and brown eyes widened when they caught sight of her lover. The blonde stood near the pool table, examining the stick, she wore a white tank top and short boxer shorts that stopped mid thigh. Ashley easily recognized the shorts and shirt as hers. Only difference was the length of her shirt. Spencer had cut the white material to stop just above her bellybutton, showing off her sleek midriff. "Are you sure you want me over there with you dressed like that? I highly doubt we'll get far in the game…"

Spencer met her gaze and smiled. "Don't be silly, you won't get all hot and bothered knowing Rachael will be here soon." She walked over to the rack on the wall and grabbed a stick for Ashley.

Don't be so sure about that Spence, Ashley thought while watching the blonde grab a small chalk cube. The white shirt was see through and there was no bra present, the sight made Ashley tingle. "You seriously think Rachael's going to keep me from having you?" She grabbed their Pepsi's and stood up. "You, my Dear, must not know me that well." She leaned over and kissed her lips lightly. "You're probably going to beat me; I'm not that great at this game." She accepted the stick Spencer offered her and then placed it aside to open her soft drink.

Spencer rubbed the small green chalk at the end of her stick and then handed the small cube over to Ashley. She didn't believe Ashley's last statement. Staring into dark brown eyes, she assumed Ashley was an amazing pool player and was being modest. "Uh huh." She poked her upper arm. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Ashley smiled while placing the green chalk against the end of her stick. "I know you will." She glanced up at the blonde and watched her open her Pepsi and take a healthy swallow. "Spencer I seriously suck at pool."

Placing the cold blue can on the side of the table, Spencer hummed 'Mmhmm' and then set up the balls in the middle of the table. Ashley just shrugged to herself and drank her Pepsi, enjoying her lover's ass in her short boxers. "I'm sure we can find another use for this pool table…" Ashley stopped talking when the blonde sent her a mean glare. "Sorry." She mumbled against the rim of her can.

"Don't feel bad Baby." Spencer said arranging the balls inside the triangle. "I was thinking the same thing when I first saw it." She admitted with a blush.

Ashley found her reddened cheeks adorable, she couldn't help but push the subject. "since we both want to, why don't we?" She wondered casually, her eyes moving to her lover's bare abdomen. The creamy skin covering smooth muscles called out to her, begging to be licked and sucked.

"I swear your worst than a teenage boy." Spencer teased rolling the triangle up and down the green velvet material.

"Well it's not my fault you're so damn sexy." Ashley smirked as her eyes roamed over her perfect body. "You're not doing a good job hiding it now."

Spencer rolled her eyes and stood up straight. "Just for that, I'm breaking first."

Ashley grinned. "Be my guest, I'll have a better view of what lies beneath my shorts."

Spencer playfully smacked her butt as she walked to the other end of the table. "For luck Baby." She explained to the amused rock star.

"Do I get anything for luck?" Ashley asked with a playful pout. "I'm the one who can't play." A smile formed over her face. "Maybe a little peck from your lips will help." She added suggestively.

Spencer easily agreed and placed the pool stick in her hand on the table. Walking up to her girlfriend, she wrapped her arms around Ashley's neck. "Good luck Baby." She kissed her lips firmly and then moved back to the pool table. Grabbing her stick, she leaned forward and professionally positioned her hands on the long wood. "You're going to need it." She told her girlfriend, hitting the white ball firmly, she sent two balls into a nearby pocket. "Yay, I'm solids, you're stripes."

"I'm dead." Ashley mumbled watching her lover sink two more balls. "How'd you get so good at this?" She asked positioning herself over the pool table. Her target was a yellow striped ball.

Spencer shrugged. "My Dad and uncles play it all the time. I'm just an easy learner." The blonde watched Ashley with amusement and surveyed her stance. It was horrible. Her posture was disappointing and the hands on the stick were misplaced. She was starting to take Ashley's earlier words into consideration. She did suck at pool.

"Oops." Ashley chuckled watching the white ball fly off the table.

"I saw that coming." Spencer giggled while picking up the white ball. "Is this your first time playing?" She placed the ball back on the table and then met her lover's eyes.

Ashley shook her head no. "This is my 4th time playing, but I was high the last three games…" And practically having sex with two other women. "I don't think they count." She added sheepishly.

Spencer got behind Ashley and placed her hands on her hips. "Spread your legs Baby." She commanded near her ear, sending a delicious shiver down the auburn haired teen's spine. Ashley did so and felt her breath hitch when she felt Spencer's body mold up against hers from behind. The rock star knew the blonde was just helping her with her posture, but feeling her lover's breasts against her back was becoming a huge turn on. "Now your hands go like this," Spencer guided her hands on the pool stick and then placed her chin on a tanned shoulder. "Is that yellow ball your target," She softly asked near her ear, earning her a quick nod, she pushed further into the rock star and then firmly commanded shoot. Ashley hit the ball and watched it zip through the table before falling into a hole.

Spencer kissed the side of her neck and then moved away from her, crossing her arms over taunt pink nipples, she nearly groaned at the pounding between her legs. "I-I think you should try the next one on your own." She stated flustered with a heavy blush.

Ashley didn't even try to hide her disappointment. "Can I at least thank you for the lesson?" At Spencer's nod, Ashley walked up to her and got down on her knees. "Thank you," She murmured placing wet kisses on her bare abdomen. Nipping around the blonde's navel, Ashley felt her lover's hands in her hair and moaned when she began lightly pulling at it.

"Ashley, you're welcome." She laughed trying to get her lover's mouth off her body. Her body temperature rose with each flick of her lover's tongue, the cold barbell driving her crazy. "It's your turn Baby."

Ashley groaned and ran her hands up naked sides as she stood up. "Fine." She mumbled and then kissed her cheek. "To be continued?" She asked hopefully.

Spencer smiled teasingly. "Only if you win." She chuckled at the rock star's outraged expression and kissed her pouting lips. "Just pray I go easy on you." She patted her tanned cheek lightly. "Now go."

Ashley groaned as she leaned over the green table. Eyeing the purple striped ball, she did everything her lover told her and missed her target. "I think it only works when your body's against mine." Ashley straightened up and looked over at Spencer. "Your nipples must be magic." She added with a playful grin, drinking more Pepsi as she watched Spencer hit the white ball. It hit a nearby pink and sunk it.

Spencer arched her back, closed her eyes and cupped her breasts, moaning, "They are magic."

Ashley's demeanor seemed cool and calm as she watched her lover play with herself; internally she was a mess of raging hormones wanting to pounce on the blonde. The soft noises, her facial expression, and the hands moving on her breasts were turning her on. "Stand still," Ashley commanded watching gray eyes open, she grabbed the white material of her shirt and ripped it open. "I'll buy you another one." She told her shocked lover as tanned hands began kneading her breasts, hearing Spencer's breathing hitch, Ashley pinched her nipples while running her tongue over the creamy skin on her neck.

Spencer fought back a shiver as her nailed buried in Ashley's back. "I was just teasing you." She moaned into her lover's ear.

Ashley smirked against her skin. "Now I'm teasing you."

Blunts nails scratched down a tanned back as Spencer pulled back, sticking her tongue out at the rock star, she turned around and went back to her pool stick. Ashley sighed and grabbed her Pepsi. She watched Spencer get ready to make another shot and smiled to herself. Staring down at her clothes, she grabbed the elastic on her hips and pulled them down, kicking the panda pants off her feet, she did the same with her shirt. Wearing a black lace bra and matching underwear, Ashley eased herself on the other end of the table and began sensually arching her back, her eyes seductively boring into gray as she stroked down her body. "Good luck Baby." She purred using her lover's previous used words.

Spencer's eyes ran down the length of her tanned body. A light sheen of sweat covered her exposed skin, the moisture was easily seen over taunt abs, distracting the blonde. "I can't concentrate." She said standing straight. "How am I supposed to win with you li-like that." She stammered watching a tanned hand slip under lace panties. "Ashley." She swallowed hard watching the hand move under the light material.

"It's still your turn Spencer." The rock star moaned, "Just make your move already." Brown eyes closed, moist lips parted, and thighs quivered as Ashley's hand moved relentlessly between her legs. The feeling was beyond extraordinary. She was never big on masturbating, but now, feeling her fingers over her clit, she realized what she was missing out on. It wasn't as good as Spencer, but it was still good.

The skin on her right breast tickled, Ashley opened her eyes and her hazy gaze landed on Spencer. She stood on her hands and knees on the pool table, her finger outlining the barrier between a warm mouth and her aroused nipple. "Mantenga ir, quítelo apenas." The rock star moaned as the black material was lifted off her breast, revealing a hardened bud.

Dipping her head, Spencer took the dark nipple into her mouth while listening to her lover's foreign words. They were sensual, laced with pleasure and desperate. The pleasure increased in her tone as she sucked and licked the sensitive bud, pulling back to run her lips over it, she ran her fingers over a tanned arm and stroked the skin above lace panties. She could feel Ashley's hand movements and moaned against her lover's breast, the sensation caused the rock star's hips to jerk, Spencer knew she was close. Releasing her breast, Spencer moved up and dipped her head, kissing the rock star roughly, she swallowed her cries as she came.

Brown eyes fluttered open when she felt her wrist being taken. Ashley watched the blonde intently as she brought her hand up to her mouth. Gray eyes stared into hooded brown as pink lips parted and wrapped around a desire coated fingertip. The blonde's eyes closed as she enjoyed the taste of her lover, she dipped her head and took more of the tanned digit in her mouth, moaning in delight.

Ashley found the scene highly erotic, the pounding between her legs was back and all she wanted to do was ease her arousal. "Come to bed with me." She begged between ragged breaths. "I want to make love to you." She told opening gray eyes.

Staring into flushed tanned skin, hooded brown eyes, and catching a glimpse of her lover's tongue ring, Spencer couldn't agree fast enough. All thoughts of movies, popcorn, and Rachael died when they entered the master bedroom.

----------

Darcey sat on the bed watching her boyfriend flip through a magazine. Rolling Stone. She rolled her eyes. He read too much for her taste. "I really want to do something. Go out or something."

Aiden turned his head and met her gaze. "Why can't just go out Darce." He looked back at his magazine. "I'm still deeply in love with Spencer to the rest of the world. I can't mess that up." He flipped another page and began scanning a paragraph.

The brunette sank down in the bed and snuggled against a pillow. "How long do we have to put up with this?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Until one of us gets caught. It's complicated."

"You were right about Ashley and Spencer." She ran her finger up his bicep. "It worries me."

"Why?"

"Aiden it's wrong." The frown that formed over his lips almost made her shut up. "In God's eyes." She added defensively. "You should know that, you said you went to church."

He sighed. "I know but I don't think it's wrong. It's love." He looked at her. "What Spencer feels for Ashley is what I feel for you, how can that be wrong?"

Darcey rolled her eyes. "It's not the same and Spencer knows it. I had a talk with her-"

"Darcey I really think you should stay out of it. If you're trying to talk Spencer into leaving Ashley then you're wasting your time."

The brunette frowned. "How?"

"Let me put it this way." He started with a chuckle. "I grew up with Spencer, she's been my best friend since forever, when we started going out we were both deeply in love with each other. I was already planning out our wedding. And then she comes on tour, meets Ashley and everything goes downhill from there. Spencer isn't someone that will just cheat, it's painful and mean and not her, I just think anyone who can get her to do that deserves her. Ashley did the impossible and won Spencer. I highly doubt they'll throw away their relationship for you."

"Well hopefully her mother thinks the same way you do. I'll stay out of their business Denny but I'm telling you now, their little fling is going to ruin their relation ship with their families. There were these two girls in church that fooled around, got caught, and I haven't seen them since."

Aiden threw his head back in laughter. "If Ashley and Spencer disappear just assume their in Hawii, sun bathing and eating lobster."

"This isn't joke!"

"It should be. You're overreacting. I know Spencer's family, and let me tell you, they are not the strictest Christians. Paula has at least a dozen gay male friends, Arthur does his share of gambling, and her grandparents are the biggest alcoholics I've ever seen." He smiled. "Ashley will fit right in."

----------

Blow my whistle bitch!

Gray eyes snapped open to Ashley's loud ringtone.

Blow my whistle bitch!

The blonde looked down at Ashley's naked form. The rock star slept soundly on top of her, her arms hugging her tightly as she slept soundly on a naked breast. Spencer turned her head to the open window. The sunlight filled the room beautifully. Her hands came up and roamed over the expanse of her lover's naked back. She knew they'd have to get up soon. The band was scheduled to fly to New York sometime that morning. Staring at the falling snow, Spencer smiled at how exhausted she felt. Last night came to mind and the only sleep she got was the little naps in between lovemaking. Ashley was soft and loving one moment, and rough and demanding the next. The soreness she felt was worth every kiss, suck and second of the night.

Blow my whistle bitch!

Hearing the loud techno music, Ashley snuggled closer to Spencer and mumbled "Turn it off," sleepily. She was content lying in bed with her lover, getting up was the last thing she wanted to do. In the back of her mind she knew they had to get up and prepare for New York, she just chose to ignore the voice speaking and enjoy the warmth of the body under hers.

Spencer buried her hand in her hair and caressed the auburn locks, "How does beating Rachael to our front door sound?" She asked softly, staring down at her drowsy girlfriend. "Foreign." The rock star mumbled causing the blonde to chuckle. "Mmm speaking of foreign, I enjoyed all the Spanish last night." She blushed remembering Ashley's ragged voice speaking the language exotically. "Tell me something now."

Turning her head, Ashley kissed up her neck until she hovered over a sensitive ear, "Vamos a la playa," Her voice was low and husky, sending a shiver down the blonde's spine. "A mí me gusta bailar, el ritmo de la noche." She opened her eyes and lifted her upper body. "How was that?" She asked staring into gray eyes.

"That was amazing." Spencer praised caressing her face. "What did you say?"

Ashley grinned. "Lets go to the beach, I really like to dance to the rhythm at night. Not too romantic but the song has a catchy tune." She dipped her head and kissed the corner of her lips. "I'll play it for you sometime, maybe next time we go to the beach." She mumbled against her skin.

Spencer wrapped her arms around her and held her close. "I just hope it's nothing like your ringtone." She sighed playfully. "Really Ashley, 'Blow my whistle bitch?' How can you listen to that?"

Ashley stared down at her. "It's not on my Ipod or anything, I just thought it'd be great for when Sammy calls." She smiled a little. "And I may like it a teeny bit." She rolled her eyes. "Okay and it is on my Ipod, but I lost my Ipod so I really doesn't matter-"

"Ashley." Spencer interrupted cupping the back of her head. "Just shut up and kiss me." She murmured with a smile, her hand bringing Ashley's head down. The rock star easily complied and allowed their lips to meet. Spencer's hand came around and sensually caressed her face as her lips parted, deepening the kiss. "Baby I have to talk to you about something." She said when the kiss ended.

Ashley immediately sobered up at her lover's serious expression. "What's wrong?" She asked calmly, keeping the alarm out of her voice. She didn't want Spencer to see the nervousness she was feeling, thinking it would stop her lover from speaking her mind.

Spencer saw the panic in her eyes and immediately eased her mind. "It's nothing bad, I just have to ask you something."

Ashley noticeably relaxed as she continued gazing into her lover's eyes. "Go ahead, you can ask me anything."

"Alright," The blonde reached up and began nervously playing with her bangs. "You know the tour isn't going to last much longer," Ashley nodded her understanding." What's going to happen when it's over?"

The question took the rock star by surprise and she couldn't answer right away. She hadn't given any thought to what would happen after the tour ended. She didn't know where she wanted to go or who she wanted to hangout with. And then there was Spencer. Surely the blonde would want to go back to Ohio and see her family/friends. Where would that leave her? "What do you want to happen?"

Spencer didn't hesitate answering. "I want you to come back home with me." She saw the surprise etched clearly in brown eyes and added, "Just for a few days. After that, we can go back to L.A. and work on the beach house."

"You want to take me back to Ohio? To meet your mother, father, and everyone else related to you?" She asked taken aback and continued at Spencer's nod. "Don't you think that's crazy? Spencer I'm a cocaine addicted lesbian who hasn't spent a vacation sober in 2 years. Taking me home would be-"

"A dream come true." Spencer cut in softly. "Ashley I don't see you like that and I know parents won't either." She gazed lovingly into confused brown eyes as her fingers stroked her auburn locks. "You're really sweet and caring," needy and vulnerable. "And my parents will adore you. Especially since you cook and play guitar."

"Cook and play guitar?"

"Yep." Spencer chuckled. "My Dad loves to play and my mother loves to cook. I promise you everything will be alright."

Ashley took everything into consideration and believed the blonde when she said everything will be okay. But there was something else bothering her. "If I do go with you, what will you introduce me as?"

Spencer's hand dropped as soon as the words left the rock star's mouth. She hadn't given that much thought. She couldn't walk through the door and bluntly introduce Ashley as her girlfriend. Her mother would freak out and her Dad would grab his gun. Plus, she still needed to drop the bomb about her spit up with Aiden. Suddenly, the thought of brining Ashley home was overwhelming. "Would it bother you to just be my very best friend?" She asked hopefully. "It's not that I don't want them to know about us, I'm just not ready and-"

"I understand." Ashley said honestly. "And it wouldn't kill me to go as your very best friend." She smiled a little.

Spencer visibly relaxed. "Good. So you'll come home with me?"

Ashley didn't want to answer right away not knowing what kind of schedule she'd have after the tour. The strange thing about her field of work was one day she could be off and the next, on a plane to England doing some stupid radio show. "Can I get back at you with that? I really need to think about this."

Spencer's shoulders slumped a little at the answer but she agreed. If Ashley needed time to think things over then she was going to give it to her with no questions asked or any complaints. "That's fine Baby."

A knock at the door interrupted the couple.

"Rachael." Ashley groaned collapsing against the blonde.

Spencer patted the skin on her upper back sympathetically. "Time to get up."

----------

Having showered, dressed, and kissed; the couple walked out of their suite and headed toward the elevator. Ashley walked in wearing a black tight fitting trench coat, white scarf, light blue jeans, and white vans slip ons. She took her lover's hand and then pushed the lobby button. Spencer stared down at their hands and then looked back up at Ashley. She stood patiently staring at the wall. "How are your hands feeling?" She asked softly with a hint of concern.

Ashley glanced at her and then shrugged a little. "They still hurt but the pain is bearable." She tightened the grip on their intertwined fingers before releasing her lover's soft hand. Looking away, she crossed her arms over her chest as an easy silence fell over them. Spencer understood Ashley's actions. They couldn't be seen holding hands in public.

Reaching out, she rubbed her upper arm soothingly. "I love you." She said as the elevator doors opened.

Ashley flashed her a small smile as her arm dropped. "Me too."

Hearing the active lobby, the rock star turned her head. Her eyes scanned the room as she stepped out of the elevator. People were everywhere but the room was large enough to accommodate everyone comfortably. Like all the other hotels, there was a nice restaurant and they were serving breakfast. Ashley immediately looked to her left and noticed the gray eyes staring hungrily at the food place. "You want to get something to eat?"

Spencer met her gaze with a light blush. "If it's not too much trouble."

Ashley shrugged. "It's fine." She pulled out her cell phone and began texting Rachael as they walked into the restaurant. The waitress didn't have time to seat them before a male voice called out to them.

"Spencer! Ashley! Over here!" Ashley snapped her phone shut and lifted her head. Her gaze immediately fell on Aiden. He sat next to Darcey in a booth. Feeling a hand on her arm, Ashley was guided to Aiden's booth by Spencer. They all exchanged quiet greetings as Ashley and Spencer took their seats. "Wow, first time I see you with a scarf. What's the special occasion?" Aiden asked looking at Spencer.

There was a teasing glimmer in his eyes, Ashley didn't miss it. "It's cold outside Aiden." The rock star smiled a little. "Spencer doesn't want to catch a cold. It's not like she's hiding anything." She added with a shrug, looking over to view the predictable blush over her lover's face.

Aiden chuckled eyeing the rock star's white scarf. It covered every inch of skin on her neck. "Are you preventing a cold too Ashley? It looks like you over did yours a little bit."

Darcey sat watching the exchange with little interest. Ashley still bothered her, just being in her air space was disgusting, but she had to admit the scarf she wore was both fashionable and warm looking. "How much did that cost?" She asked meeting brown eyes.

Ashley's eyes flickered over to her as she fought back a sigh. What was up with her and money? The rock star found it disturbing and annoying. "It's Dolce & Gabbana and cost me about 300 dollars." She answered easily. "Did you order yet?" Ashley asked Aiden, ignoring the glare his girlfriend was giving her.

The tall man shook his head. "Waitress just took our drink orders." He eyed the glass of water in front of him. "And left us water."

"Oh gimme." Spencer reached out and grabbed the cool glass. Bringing it up to her lips, she drank the water greedily.

Ashley wasn't bothered by the scene. She didn't care if Spencer drank after Aiden, but looking at the girl sitting across from her, she noticed the appalled look on Darcey's face. She had to smile a little. "Water good here?" Ashley coolly asked her girlfriend, watching her set the glass down near Aiden.

Spencer opened her mouth to answer, but then shut it when Darcey grabbed the glass and placed it in front of her. "Get new water Denny." The brunette met Spencer's gaze somewhat angrily. "You can finish that."

"Don't be a bitch." Ashley hissed fed up with the brunette. Her tone did not sit well with the rock star, especially since she was using it toward her lover. "They've been sharing drinks since elementary school, stop overreacting."

Darcey's eyes narrowed into angry slits. "Don't tell me what to do! I'm not one of your little workers!"

"Thank God." Ashley mumbled knowing the brunette would be a bigger pain in the ass than AJ.

"Calm down Darcey." Aiden quietly begged.

Ashley's eyes left them and focused on Spencer. The blonde was watching Darcey with confusion. Reaching down, Ashley placed a hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry about her." She said near her ear, too quiet for anyone else to hear. "She just wants attention."

Spencer nodded and sighed her relief when the waiter chose that moment to arrive. He was a tall brown haired blue eyed man with tray in his hand. "How are you guys this morning?" He asked glancing between Spencer and Ashley.

"Fine." The two girls answer in unison. The waiter nodded as he set down Aiden's orange juice and Darcey's chocolate milk. "And what can I get you Ms. Davies?" He asked the rock star first, pulling out a small notebook.

Ashley was used to strangers addressing her by her name. "Coffee." She answered easily.

The waiter wrote down the order and then met Spencer's gaze. "And you Spencer- I mean Ms. Carlin."

Spencer smiled at the young man who apologized quickly. "Don't worry about it. I would like some orange juice please."

Nodding, He straightened up and left everyone menus. "I'll be back in a little bit. I recommend any of the omelets, their amazing here."

Spencer thanked the waiter and then focused her attention on Aiden and Darcey. They both had sullen expression on their faces. She felt guilty for starting their little fight by drinking Aiden's water. She hadn't really thought about it, Ashley was right when she said they had been sharing drinks since elementary school. It just came natural to reach out and share Aiden's drink. "I apologize Darcey, it was rude of me to take your boyfriend's water like that." She said sincerely into dark brown eyes.

Ashley rolled her eyes at the exchange.

Darcey ignored the rock star completely and visibly relaxed. "No Spencer, It's fine, I think I just over reacted a little-" Ashley snorted at the statement, causing her to pause, again she ignored the 17 year old and continued speaking. "I'm sorry for being so stupid. I'm just not used to seeing you act so…friendly towards Denny."

"Denny?" Ashley mouthed to the blushing man, an amused smile spread over her lips, matching laughing brown eyes.

Aiden glared at her and mouthed back 'Shut up.'

"I'll take it down a notch." Spencer playfully replied.

"Thank you." Darcey replied satisfied.

"Ashley how are you feeling about tonight?" Aiden asked over Spencer and Darcey's conversation. "Last show in New York. It's going to be wild. Kent said something about a party afterward."

Ashley leaned back in the booth and then crossed one leg over the other. "I can't wait for this tour to end." She thought back to the message she sent Rachael and smiled. "Do you know if Samantha's going to be there?"

Aiden shook his head. "Kent doesn't mention her much. He doesn't want any of us to get any ideas." He shrugged. "It'd be kind of awkward sleeping with the boss' daughter."Spencer looked up from her menu and met Aiden's gaze with surprised eyes. Ashley kind of looked away, somewhat embarrassed as she played with her bangs. Aiden finally caught on and immediately apologized. "Sorry, I forgot that's kind of your situation." He told Spencer, chuckling nervously.

"It's fine." Spencer waved it off uneasily. Looking at Ashley, she realized that was her situation. She was sleeping with the boss' daughter. Ashley met her gaze and smiled briefly at her. Spencer reached under the table and took her tanned hand into her lap, meeting Darcey's gaze, she initiated conversation as their fingers intertwined.

Ashley tuned them out, finding everything Darcey said annoying, and flipped through her menu using one hand. She wasn't really hungry, but decided to pick something out anyway. Spencer was going to make her eat regardless of her complaining. She decided to get something simple, no eggs, nothing greasy, and absolutely no meat, that left her with pancakes or waffles.

The waiter came around again and gave everyone their drinks. After that, he took everyone's orders and collected the menus. Spencer ordered a big steak breakfast, Aiden got a ham and cheese omelet, Darcey got chocolate waffles, and Ashley ordered 1 pancake with no fruit, syrup, or whip crème. The waiter glanced strangely at her but she didn't care. The plain pancake was going to be hard enough to keep down, extra sugar was the last thing her stomach she needed.

The light conversation starting again as Ashley leaned her head against the wall. Her eyes closed as she listened to everyone talk. The topic of discussion was Darcey's home town and Ashley could have careless. She focused more on the thumb stroking her skin than the annoying brunette's words. The more the brunette spoke, the more Ashley wanted to go deaf. Almost everything that came out of her mouth revolved around money. Ashley didn't understand her obsession. It was stupid and meaningless.

The rock star felt herself start to doze off and didn't bother fighting it. The words around her started to fade as she fell into a light slumber.

"Ashley."

Her eyes snapped open as she jerked awake. "Hmm?" She hummed looking incoherently into gray eyes. Following Spencer's finger, Ashley stared down at the small plate with her pancake. It wasn't very appetizing, turning her head, she stared into Spencer's eyes again. "Please don't make me eat." She whispered softly. "I'm not hungry Spencer."

Spencer stared apologetically into her pleading eyes. "I'm sorry Baby, but you didn't eat anything yesterday. You're body needs food Ashley."

Sighing, Ashley nodded and began picking at her food. She took smaller bites and swallowed them down with her coffee. It was hard to not gag, Ashley didn't understand why eating was so hard for her. She assumed it was the cocaine and wondered if she was ever going to be normal again. "I'm done." She announced after eating half of the pancake.

Ignoring everyone else in the room, Spencer leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. "Thank you." She murmured near her ear.

Ashley nodded and then leaned against the wall again. Spencer, Aiden and Darcey continued talking as she took another nap. Feeling the blonde caress her hand, she fell asleep with a content smile.

----------

The flight to New York City was uneventful. Ashley slept the whole way while Spencer read quietly next to her. The trip was comfortable and the walk through the airport wasn't so hectic. Ashley immediately collapsed in the corner of the limo, intent on sleeping more, but wasn't able to shut her eyes with her lover jumping from one side of the car to the other. It was amusing to watch, Ashley found it adorable how she moved from window to window jut to gaze at the amazing city.

Staring out the window, she also watched New York City pass by. It was snowing and cold, but that didn't take away from the City's marvelous appearance. She felt a body settle next to hers and then turned her head. She smiled at the awe look etched over Spencer's face. "Are you enjoying yourself?" She asked with a soft chuckle.

Spencer met her gaze and nodded. "This is amazing." She enthused staring out the window again.

"Maybe I'll take you around after we get settled in the hotel."

Spencer's head snapped in her direction. "Really?"

Ashley nodded. "Really. We'll do whatever you want to."

Spencer smiled widely as she tackled her loved down in a fierce hug. "Oh this is going to be so great." She said looking down at the grinning rock star. She leaned forward and kissed her lips firmly.

"Come on you two."

Spencer pulled back and looked up at Glen. "Sorry." She apologized blushing.

Both teens sat up and straightened up in their seats. They held hands while staring out the widow, not saying a word, they enjoyed their closeness and the scenery in silence.

They arrived at the hotel minutes later and then exited the limo. Ashley and Spencer didn't spend much time in their suite. They stayed for 20 minutes to allow the blonde to explore every room. The oohs and ahhs that left her lips could be heard in various places of the suite. They didn't bother Ashley as she stood in the living area texting Rachael of their plans. She only had a couple of hours before the band was scheduled to be at the concert hall.

Ashley closed her phone and placed it in one of her coat's pockets. "Pretty nice huh?" The rock star asked the approaching blonde.

Spencer wrapped her arms around her and kissed her softly. "It's gorgeous."

"As expected." Ashley said caressing her face. "We have to get going, we're on a tight schedule."

They kissed a final time and then left their suite.

Ashley walked outside and ignored the cold as she walked over to the tall Indian man. It was roscoe. The tall bodyguard stood next to a smaller black car that was parked behind the limo. "You don't mind coming with us, right?" She asked as Spencer entered the long limo.

Roscoe shook his head. "It is my job."

Ashley smirked. "Well we might go shopping and you know how that is. I don't want anything we buy in the limo with us," She glanced at his car and then met his gaze. "Put everything in yours, Okay?"

The tall bodyguard nodded.

"Thank you." Ashley turned around and then entered the limo with her lover.

Ashley didn't have much time to show Spencer everything NYC had to offer so told the driver to take them to time square. They spent the first hour just looking at everything. The buildings were amazing, monuments gorgeous, and the food they had was worth the amount of money they paid for it. "Now it gets fun." Ashley dragged her blonde lover into one of her father's favorite stores. He was good friends with one of the men that owned it. At first glance, the rock star could tell the place was expensive.

Spencer didn't seem to notice. She walked in and looked at everything with ease. Shirts, dresses, jeans; it was like she was shopping at Wal-Mart. Ashley looked over at the ladies behind the counter. Walking over to them, she flashed them a brief smile before speaking. "I want one of you to take anything you think my friend likes and charge it to this." She handed them a gold card and one of the ladies immediately agreed and began following Spencer around.

Gray eyes were wide as she stared at the price tags for a lot of the clothing. Just plain looking jeans started at 300 dollars. The dresses were also outrageously priced. They were all gorgeous, but some of them ran for thousands of dollars. "Don't you just love that?" The manager of the store asked her for the hundredth time that hour.

Spencer looked over at her and stared confusedly at the amount of clothes she was caring. The blonde had no idea what she was doing but didn't question it. She assumed it was NYC culture. "It's very nice." She looked at the price tag of the dress and read the 5,900 price tag. "But too expensive."

The manager chewed on the inside of her cheek, "If you had all the money in the world would you get it?"

Spencer eagerly nodded. "Look at it! It's completely gorgeous." The blonde moved on and looked around for Ashley, not seeing the manager take the dress and add it to her pile.

Ashley smiled at the blonde and wrapped an arm around her. "Are you ready?" The blonde nodded and Ashley released her. "Alright, give me a second."

Ashley walked back over to the front desk and left her driver's license. "My bodyguard will be back here to pick everything up." She grabbed a pen and wrote down her pin number. "Thank you." She turned and walked out of the store with Spencer, giving Roscoe the okay to go in the store and get her things.

They entered the limo again, knowing their two hours was over with, and headed toward the concert hall. The couple lied on a long seat, cuddling while talking softly to one another. Ashley held her girlfriend close as she talked about everything she enjoyed in time square. The rock star herself didn't say much, she was content with listening to Spencer's voice.

----------

The sound check was fun for everyone for once. Ashley switched it up a bit and took the drums while Clay played guitar. The rock star overdid it a couple of times, trying to show off, but never sounded bad. Spencer smiled at her every time she threw in a solo, Glen rolled his eyes, and Clay glared. Ashley ignored everyone and just focused on the sticks in her hands. She knew how to play drums, she just played guitar better. "I think we should switch jobs." She breathlessly spoke into the microphone. Clay immediately shook his head and tried to play a chord right. Ashley cringed at the attempt. "Nevermind."

"It's amazing how easy Ashley lets go of things." AJ snickered from the other end of the stage. "One second she loves playing guitar, the next she's on drums." His eyes flickered over to Spencer and he smiled at her down casted eyes.

"Totally." Ashley smirked against the microphone, her eyes solely on her cousin. "Like one second AJ's our driver, the next, he's working at McDonalds."

The driver frowned. "You want to step outside big shot?" He demanded raising his voice, further widening Ashley's smirk. "I'll show you whose big then." Ashley responded by throwing a drum stick at him.

"Stop it." Glen hissed trying to stop the angry driver from reaching the drum set. "You want security to drag your ass out of here?"

AJ backed off and glared at his grinning cousin. "Fuck you!"

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked approaching the upset man. She had taken her bass guitar off after watching him go after Ashley. She sighed when she had looked over at Ashley's smiling face. She obviously enjoyed AJ's anger.

The driver looked at the blonde and immediately began bitching. "Pops! He's he's-"

"Giving me more money than you." Ashley announced through the microphone, annoyed by AJ's stuttering. Her cousin seriously had to go, he was worst than a crying child. "It's not my fault," She added. "I'm not the one writing his will."

"You Bitch! You don't deserve anything from him! You don't even give a fuck that he's dying!"

Everyone within earshot was staring at him. The words were starting to confuse people. Ashley sat staring calmly at AJ, she didn't care if he exposed the true nature of her relationship with Pops. She was tired of lying to people.

"Dying?" Glen asked AJ, confusion written all over his face.

Ashley stared at him and realization struck, he had no idea. She looked around the room and noticed the same thing. No one knew her father was sick. She felt uncomfortable having AJ tell them without Pops consent. It was his business, not AJ's. "Pops is fine." She announced firmly as her eyes shifted to AJ. "Just leave, you're acting stupid."

AJ's anger dissipated as he stared into his cousin's brown eyes. If he didn't know any better, he'd guess Ashley was protecting Pops. That took him by surprise. Glancing over at Spencer, he relaxed a bit and then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." He told the blonde. "I'll be leaving now." He told the rest of the band. "Don't mind me. I was just angry, bad day." He said as he walked toward the exit, remembering the phone call he had gotten from Pops. He was leaving Ashley a lot more than she deserved. He paused at the drum set and leaned toward Ashley. "You're getting his strip clubs," He loved the way her eye's widened; surely Ashley couldn't stay faithful owning a strip club. The place was full of hot chicks and cocaine. "But don't get too excited, he has to die first." He hissed before walking away, leaving Ashley to her heavy thinking.

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Ashley stood playing the last song of the night. Her mind was on another planet as her fingers moved over the strings. Her eyes noticed the crowd, but didn't really see them. Her craving were also bad, she had messed up the song twice from her trembling hands. It was strange since cocaine was the last thing on her mind. Her body needed the drug, but her mind was finished with it. Her eyes flickered over to Spencer and she watched the blonde play. She could tell by the glimmer in her eyes that she loved playing, she wondered if she would miss it once the tour ended. "Gasping as your lungs give out," She spoke softly into the microphone and then stepped away once Glen started screaming.

Her thoughts died once it was time for a solo. She stared out into the crowd with a smile as her fingers moved insanely over the strings, making the red Gibson sing, the end of the solo was exaggerated, It was fierce and mind blowing, jut the way Ashley wanted to end the last show of the tour. "Thank you New York." She breathlessly told the screaming kids throwing picks into the crowd as the lights went crazy, flicking on and off, changing colors, and then finally, brightening to highlight the band's exit.

Ashley was covered from head to toe in sweat when she left the stage. The rock star scanned the dark back stage room for her lover. With a racing heart, she rushed over to her and took her hand, whisking her away from the man she was talking to. "Ashley!" Spencer called out when the rock star led her out the room.

Ashley turned her head and met her gray eyes, "Trust me." She said rushing them through the building, they were both running, Ashley smiling as she ran and Spencer laughing from the rush. Spencer was enjoying every second of Ashley's smile. She'd catch a glimpse of it every time she turned her head to call out 'sorry' to some innocent by stander.

Finally, Ashley reached the exit and pulled her lover out into the cold with her. They were both breathing hard, their breaths easily seen under the cold clear New York sky. It was lightly snowing all around them, the moon was their only light, casting a beautiful shadow over them. Ashley placed her hands on Spencer's hips as her eyes expressed everything that coursed through veins. From fear to excitement.

Spencer felt Ashley pull her towards her and she went willingly, her heart pounding anxiously in her chest as she waited for Ashley's next move. Their foreheads touched and their breaths embraced as their heavy breathing filled the silent air around them. "I have a surprise for you." Ashley whispered softly. "Open my vest and look in the left pocket." She quietly commanded.

Spencer pulled back a little and met her gaze curiously. At Ashley's small nod, the blonde looked at the rock star's vest and began unbuttoning it. It was a thin black vest with a white rose printed on the right side of it, It was worn over her naked skin. Spencer parted it and dug in the left pocket. Confused, She looked up at Ashley when her fingers brushed over paper and then stared down at her hand when she freed the two documents. She examined it and realized they were plane tickets. Two plane tickets. Her whole face lit up when she met Ashley's grinning face. Her brown eyes were vibrant and full of joy. "You're coming!" She tackled the rock star into an eager hug, laughing as they fell into the snow.

Spencer stared down at her and began caressing her face softly, their eyes smiling as they bore into one another intensely. "You'll really come back home with me?" She breathed needing to hear the words leave her lover's lips.

"Yes." Ashley answered confidently. "We're going to Ohio Spencer."

Sequel sooner or later X)