Anne Robinson: Hello and welcome to the LOST edition of, "THE WEAKEST LINK".
Dun dun dun DUN!
Anne Robinson: So, let's meet the contestants.
DUNNNNN!
Kate: I'm.. Kate. I'm twenty eight, I've lived pretty much everywhere and I'm a fugi-- I mean, I'm unemployed.
Jack: I'm Jack Shephard, or Doctor Shephard. I'm in my mid-thirties, I live in Los Angeles and I'm a Spinal surgeon.
Juliet: Hi, I'm Juliet. I live on an island in the middle of nowhere, and I'm about.. fourty. And I'm a doctor, I think.
Boone: Hey, I'm Boone, I work for my mother, and I have a crush on my younger sister.
Ana-Lucia: Yo. I'm Ana-Lucia, and I'll kick your ass if you say anything about me, Anne.
Michael: I don't even know how I ended up on dis show, man! I was just lookin' for ma' damn kid.. WAAAAALLLTTTTTTTTT!!!!!
Eko: Hello. I am Mistah Eko. ... That's all.
Shannon: I'm Shannon and I didn't have time to put any make-up on!
Libby: I'm Libby and I want to talk to your shoulder.
Nikki: ...Ok. I'm Nikki, I'm hot, I'm single, and if you get with me I'll give you a fair share of the diamonds.
Paulo: Nikki! FGS!
Nikki: Can it Paulo!
Sawyer: Hey ya'll, I'm Sawyer, from Tennessee, and I.. what Kate said.
Desmond: Hi, brutha. Ah don't noe wut to say, brutha.
Sayid: Greetings. I am Sayid Jarrah. I fought in the Gulf War, and I have a fetish for young skinny blonde women.
Shannon: faints
Charlie: Youuuuu allllll everybodaayyyyyy!
Jin: Choo see mwahi? (made up Korean)
Sun: Ignore him, he's a beep retard.
Jin: Chi sum wahi?!
Claire: Um, hey. I'm Claire.. AND SHE TOOK MY BAAAYBBEEEEEYYY!!!!
Danielle: The Others.. THEY'RE HERE!!
Locke: We need to go back to the island!!
Ben: After the show, John.
Hurley: Dudes..
DUNNNNNN!
Anne: Whatever the beep that was.. It's time for round one of! The WEAKEST LINK! We'll start with Jack because he's a sexy ass muthaphuka.
Dun dun dun DUN!
Anne: Jack, are you planning to impregnate Juliet?
Jack: Fuck yes!
Anne: Wrong the answer was no (Impregnating-Kate-Instead)
Juliet: Jack? I thought we had something special together! That kiss in the finale.. you saw Kate's face! Wiped the grin straight off her face.
Kate: Want me to dislocate your shoulder again bitch?
Anne: Kate, what was Ben's alias in Series 2?
Kate: Henry Gale!
Anne: That's correct. Shannon..
Shannon: BANK!
Anne: ..what is the capital of France?
Shannon: BANK! No, wait! I know it! It's BERLIN! IT'S BERRRRLIIINNNN!
Anne: The correct answer was Paris. And you spent a YEAR in PARIS!
Shannon: Yeahh drinking NOT studying!
Anne: Locke, during Series ONE you had a creepy vision inwhich you were bound in a wheelchair and Boone was there saying something. What WAS he saying??
Locke: Umm.. Pass.
Boone: Theresa falls up the stairs, Theresa falls down the stairs..
Anne: Jin, in what series did Claire give birth to her baby?
Jin: Oochi walla yingha?
Anne: No. Why the beep are you even on this show?! Juliet, are you pissed off at Jack atm?
Juliet: YES!!!
Anne: That's correct. Ana-Lucia, did you screw Sawyer in Series two?
Ana-Lucia: ...Ummm..
Anne: The correct answer was 'yes'. Hurley..
Nikki: Well, atleast she got some action.
A while later...
Anne: Hurley, what was the name of the song that you were listening to at the end of episode three in Series 1?
Hurley: Wash Away by Joe Purdy!
Anne: Correct. Desmond..
Desmond: Bank, brutha.
Anne: Desmond, after the show I think you and I should---
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNN!
Anne: Times up! And you managed to bank a measley £200! Who's game is up? Who needs to go back to the hatch? Who thinks Shannon looks a sight without makeup?
Shannon: Hey!
Anne: It's time to vote off -- The WEAKEST LINK.
Voice-Over The Previously On Lost Guy: Kate is the strongest link having answered the most questions correctly. Shannon is the weakest link. But how will the voting go?
Dun dun dun DUNNNN!
Kate: Shannon.
Jack: Shannon.
Juliet: KATE!
Boone: Juliet.
Ana-Lucia: Shannon.
Michael: Shannon.
Eko: Shannon.
Shannon: Pff, you losers.. Boone!
Libby: Sawyer.
Nikki: Shannon. Bwahaha!
Sawyer: Freckles.
Desmond: Shannon, brutha.
Sayid: Shannon.
Charlie: Shannon. Lovely legs though...
Jin: Ichi woo ha! WALT! OTHERS!
Sun: He means Shannon. Shannon for me, too.
Claire: Shannon.. soz girlfriend.
Danielle: BEN!!! HE TOOK MY ALEX!!!
Locke: It's time to let the past go bitch. Shannon!
Ben: Shannon!
Hurley: Shannon. Dude.
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!
Anne: Juliet, why Kate?
Juliet: I don't like the way she's looking at Jack.
Anne: So you and Jack are a couple now?
Juliet: We've had a couple of one night stands, But I wouldn't say we were an official couple.
Anne: Interesting.. Boone, why Juliet?
Boone: I couldn't exactly vote off my own sister, She'd claw my eyes out!
Anne: I saw in Series 1 you went all the way with Shannon. That was hot.
Boone: Yeah bbz.
Anne: Well Shannon, you are the weakest link, Goodbye!
DDDDDDUUUUNNNNNN¬!
Shannon: What the fuck! Why are you doing this to me? Boone! Boone! You fucking retard!
Shannon is dragged off the set kicking and screaming
Backstage
Shannon: So I thought the capital of France was Berlin! What do you expect out of me?? Haven't you ever watched the show??
END OF ROUND ONE
HOPE YOU LIKED IT :)