Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana

I swear, I never wanted it to come to this. All I wanted was to lose a little weight, that's it. Now, it's become an obsession, a ritual. Eat... throw up... eat... throw up. The pain, the torture I put my self through when I stick my finger down my throat, doesn't matter. The more pounds I drop, the more I want throw up. I want to be beautiful, I need to be beautiful. I'm dying to be thin.

"Lily!" I heard my mom yell for me.

"Just a minute!" I yelled as I pulled my head up from the toilet. I quickly flushed and stood up. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. By eye were blood shot my throat ached. But I didn't care. I reached down for my dad's old sweat shirt that was lying on the ground. As I slipped it over my pallid body I could feel my fingers brush against my ribs. It felt nice. Turning off the water that I had turned on to cover the sounds of me gagging, I walked out into my bedroom.

"Lily, Miley has been waiting outside for fifteen minutes now!" My mom yelled once again. I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my backpack and a hat off the foot of my bed. I hurried downstairs to see my mom waiting for me at the foot of the steps.

"Hun, you cannot just leave Miley sitting out side for this long," She said as she followed me into the kitchen.

"I know ma," I said heading towards the door. I heard my mom sigh as she walked back into the kitchen.

"I'm concerned okay hu-" I cut off her sentence with the front door closing. She was clueless about what I was going through. As I walked to the car I popped a few tic-tacs in my mouth to hide the oder that was lingering behind my lips.

"We are going to be so late because of you!" I heard Miley scream as she stuck her head out of her car door.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I said, frustrated that everyone seemed to hate me today. I threw my backpack into the back seat of her car and then got into the passenger's seat. Miley didn't say anything for the first few minutes of the ride to school. Then she broke the silence, with, once again another insult towards me.

"Why are you wearing a sweatshirt it's like ninety degrees out," She said as she glanced over at me when we reached a stop sign.

"So I'm wearing a sweat shirt, what's the big deal?" I said raising my eyebrows at her.

"You're not pregnant are you?" Miley hissed at me.

"No, God, why would you even think that?" I snapped. God, am I really that fat that she thinks I could be pregnant?

"I don't know, you've been in a pissed off mood for the past few weeks, you've refused to go to the beach with me, you're wearing baggy clothes, what am I supposed to think?" Miley said as she quickly glanced away from the road to look at me.

"I'm fine," I said as I pulled my eyes away from hers.

"Okay, Lils, I'm just worried about you is all," Miley said sympathetically.

"God, Why does everyone has to be so fucking worried about me? I'm a big girl okay, I can take care of myself!" I yelled at her. I couldn't take anymore worried looks towards me anymore. I just needed for the everyone to stop. This was hard enough on me already.

The car was silent the rest of the way to school. Miley had obviously understood that my outburst was her cue to stop talking. When we pulled into the school parking lot I quickly grabbed my back pack and then rushed into school. I knew that Miley was looking at me, probably thinking what a fat bitch I was. And the truth was, I couldn't blame her.

All this started two years ago when Miley and I were at the mall shopping for a bathing suite, we had gone into a store where I had found a perfect bikini that I wanted to buy, but I couldn't find my size. So I asked one of the people that worked there if they had my size. She asked me what size I needed and I replied, an eight. Then she shook her head and said "Sorry, we only carry up to size sixes in this store hun," At first what she said didn't really effect me. Then, Miley came out and ended up purchasing a size 0. When we walked out of that store I started feeling like everyone in the entire mall was looking at me, and how fat and ugly I was. That night was the first time I ever tried it, sticking my finger down my throat and forcing up my food at that point, was, in my mind disgusting and I never wanted to do it again. So, my life went on and I kept on gaining weight. For a while I tried diet pills, but that didn't work. I was still, in my eyes fat. Whenever I tried to talk to Miley about it all she would do is roll her eyes and tell me I wasn't fat. I would always reply with, "then why don't I fit into any of you're clothes anymore?" to which she would reply "Just because my clothes don't fit you doesn't mean you're fat," Then one day I went shopping and tried on a pair of my normal size for jeans and they wouldn't fit up past my thighs. At that store I realized the only size jean that fit me, was a 12. That was the size considered to be plus model, hell, that might even be too fat for a plus size model. That night depression over came me and, after eating four slices of pizza for dinner, I went up to my room and stuck my finger down my throat. Forcing all the food up. And unlike the last time tried it, this time, it felt good. Ever since then it's been the same routine, eat...throw up... eat... throw up. To me, it's the never ending cycle of pain and torture. I had become so obsessed with weight that nothing in my life mattered any more, not my friends, not my family, all that mattered was that size 0. I rather die than be fat. I'm dying just to be thin.

After my fourth period class let out I knew that it was time for my least favorite part of the day. Lunch. Walking into the cafeteria I saw Oliver and Miley sitting at a table. They looked surprised when they saw me and then immediately stopped their conversation. They must have been talking about how fat and ugly I had looked today.

"Talking about me huh?" I said as I sat down after getting my food.

"No..." Miley said softly. I could tell she was still upset about this morning.

"Right..." I said sarcastically as I took a small bite of my salad. Silence fell over us as I quickly swallowed the massive amount of food that was sitting on my plate in front of me. A few minutes after the silence had started, it ended when Oliver tried to sneak a french fry off of Miley's plate. Miley looked over at him a lightly smacked his hand.

"Fatty," she said under her breath as she looked over at Oliver who was stuffing the french fry into his mouth.

"You think Oliver's fat?" I said surprised as I glanced up from the empty plate that was sitting in front of me. If she thinks Oliver's fat than I must be a fucking sumo wrestler to her.

"No, Lily I was just kid-" Miley didn't get to finish her sentence. I needed to get rid of the food that I had just put into my body. I noticed Miley and Oliver's concern stares back and forth from one another. But I didn't give a damn. Every second this food rested in my stomach I got fatter. Gripping onto the straps of my back pack I walked into the bathroom. As I pushed the door open I noticed Ms. Peterson, my english teacher. Standing in front of the mirror. God, what was I thinking, I couldn't do this hear. What if someone heard me? They wouldn't understand. I needed to get out of this place. I needed to go home. As fast as my fat legs could take me, I ran, the more time the food sat in side me the fatter I became. When I finally reached my house I noticed a car in the drive way. Dammit. My mom was home. I couldn't explain to her why I had come home from school this early. I wrestled with the thought of attempting to sneak in but then, something caught my eye. The Stewarts house across the street, I noticed their drive way was empty. Jackson wasn't home from college and Mr. Stewart was out somewhere. Perfect. I ran across the street until I reached the back door which they always let unlocked. Walking inside I threw my backpack down on the ground and ran for the nearest bathroom on the first floor. I quickly turned on the water and then walked over to the toilet, kneeling in front of it. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun and then stuck my middle finger down my throat, as far down as it could possibly go. I felt the food coming up and out. As the last of the food came up I was about to do the same thing again when I heard the door open. Pulling my finger out of my mouth I stood up quickly, not knowing what or who it was.

"Jackson," I said looking at the shocked Jackson that was standing in front of me.

A/N: Okay new story idea I had. This will turn into a Lackson. I'm pretty much done with the next chapter I only have a few things to change. I may continue based on what people think! So please review!