Author's Note: Ah, the final chapter. I pulled a Bella, and have welcomed back my repetitive sprain on my left wrist, so I write this in mild agony. In this chapter, Bella surveys her new acquisitions.

Epilogue:

Bella

I heard the phone ringing from inside the house as I approached the front door. I took a deep breath, climbing over the lawn mower, garden tools, and piles of sod in our front yard. I had to make my way around a stack of boxes before I could even see the door handle.

The door only opened about a foot, so I tentatively shoved my left tennis shoe inside, and shimmied into the house. I came face to face with a stack of magazines as tall as I was, and next to it more stacks of comic books; I had drowned in the literature more than once – they had to go. I closed the door behind me and sidestepped my way into the middle of the hall. The phone had long ago stopped ringing.

"Dad?" I called. I could barely see the stairway for a pile of black bags, and the kitchen was hidden behind boxes of tools.

"In the front room!" Charlie replied. I could hear the sportscaster announce the score on the brand new, high-definition television. When I scrambled my way into the room, I found my father sitting in luxury in a massage chair, eating a slice of pizza and watching the game.

"Dr. Cullen just called, and I had to thank him for being so generous." He said, with a sip from a can of coke.

"Too generous," I grumbled, picking up a slice of pizza from the box on the highly polished and previously unused coffee table.

"How did your lessons go?" Charlie asked a few minutes later.

"Fine," I answered, not wishing to discuss them. Charlie believed that Jasper Hale was tutoring me in Calculus, since he'd returned from college early, and my current math grades weren't too promising. I couldn't tell him that I was actually learning the foundations of Latin, since Jasper was supposed to be far too young to be familiar with the language. But, as he promised me at least twice every hour, "it will become a brilliant base for all of the romantic languages!"

Jasper was a bit too excited about the prospect of a protégé, and to be quite honest, I was a little overwhelmed. I certainly wouldn't be bored for the next few decades.

Something struck me, as I finished up my pizza. "What was Car – Dr. Cullen, calling for?"

"He said that Edward had told him about a scholarship you had won, and wanted to congratulate you."

I groaned aloud. The Cullens still insisted on paying for college – even though I wasn't actually going. "I'll see you later."

I maneuvered my way past an industrial-sized vacuum cleaner, over a soccer goal, and up the stairs. When I reached my own room, I turned sideways, took a few steps backwards, and ran into the door with all of my weight.

At the exact same moment that a tiny, black-haired vampire opened the door.

"Alice!" I hissed, as I fell into the room, tripping over piles of clothing.

"You would have broken your arm otherwise." She explained, plopping herself on my bed. "You wanted my help?"

"I need to organize things into what I'm going to sell versus donate." I explained. Her face fell. I'm sure she would have rather heard, "I need to replace my Coach purse, what are your opinions on Prada versus Louis Vuitton?"

"And what you're going to keep." Alice added, looking hopeful.

"That list will be very short," I cautioned. "We can start up here, I suppose. We'll choose which clothes I will actually wear, and which you're going to return."

Alice grunted.

"Afterwards, we'll move onto the landing, working downwards. Otherwise we'll never get out alive." The thought of it all gave me a headache.

"How did your lesson go?" She chirped as we picked through the first bag of clothes.

"Like you don't already know," I laughed. Alice smiled cheekily and we continued to wordlessly argue over the "keep" and "discard" piles.

"Your father was excited to know that he wouldn't have to give up his retirement to send you to college."

"Because I'm actually going to college," I said sarcastically.

"Eventually," Alice smiled. She agreed with me over Edward about timing.

"Did you know," I decided, surveying the room, "that if I was to sell all of this stuff, I could more than pay for college, Charlie's retirement, and feed a third world country?"

Alice ignored the comment, instead asking, "Did you finish reading the magazines Rosalie gave you?"

I nodded. "Has she finished with the truck?"

"Not yet," Alice replied, with a mischievous gleam in her golden eyes. I doubted that Rosalie would ever finish with the truck.

At the end of the evening, I sat back, watching as Emmett and Edward loaded the jeep with items bound for the Salvation Army.

"So," Alice began, "Do you think that you'll join us for our annual house redecoration?"

I shuddered. Even though coming from Alice's sweet mouth, those words sounded deadly.

Afterword:

My dear readers! It's been wonderful writing this story – I had a lot of fun trying to focus on the characters, and what they would have collected over the years. Hopefully it was funny – that's what I was aiming for. I don't honestly remember where the idea came from, or why I decided to pursue it – and the plot changed a lot by the time I actually got to this point! I have received so many emails with new story alerts or author alerts and reviews, I've been very excited. And I realize that as is mainly the case, I receive about twenty times the number of views for a chapter as I do reviews, but it's still really encouraging to know that people are reading – and liking! – my story.

Finally, do not despair; if you truly loved this story, it is not the end of the Spring Cleaning series. Look out for the one-shot "Spring Cleaning with the Volturi", and possibly in the very distant future, "Spring Cleaning with the Pack". There will be plenty more from me soon; I am currently writing a longer fic, and have a list of one-shots I want to write for when I hit a wall of writers block. Also look out for another story that I will be co-writing, which is sadly currently untitled. If you just cannot wait until then, feel free to read and review my two other published stories.

So, I wanted to know what you all thought: Which was your favorite chapter/closet, and why? Is there anything that you think I could work on?

Muchas gracias, merci beaucoup, and thanks a lot for reading.

Cheerio!

Judith, a.k.a. thesunshinekid